The Art of War
by Doctor Yok
Summary: Exorcists are revered as expert fighters, for the most part. However, what happens when there are Exorcists that are unprepared for outright mayhem? Some lead Exorcists must teach a dysfunctional family the arts of war... without going crazy themselves.
1. Introducing! Family Circus

The China Town district is a place full of noise, sound, and food. I liked going here because I usually can find anything I need for a fair price, and the people are nice… well, if you can speak Chinese. Okay, pigeon-Chinese. Most of the people here had managed to learn a bit of English, and some of us English speakers manage to make some noises that sound like Chinese. The China Town here in Bangkok is nice, but it also has a lot of _Thai _speakers, and Thai is what I consider a drunk man's language. Lily loves it, but that's because the language is just as air headed as she is.

So you understand why I was angering a Thai proprietor in his shop after trying to pronounce a word on the menu that I didn't quite understand.

"It sounds exactly the same!"

"No! No! Not same, is not same! _Tuh mai cao chai, khap! _It like _this._" He said it again, and I followed suit, but for some reason unknown to me I somehow butchered the language for the umpteenth time. I sighed as he remonstrated me yet again, and I told him that I would figure it out later. I pointed to it on the menu, and he understood well enough. He seemed relieved and tired all at once, so he bowed to me and said, "_Khap. Khap kun khap, Kun Mag. _Your tea be here less of five minute."

He walked off to make the world famous _Cha Nom Yen, _a Thai milk tea that was supposed to be heavenly in this unearthly hot climate. I couldn't stand the heat here, but I didn't have much of a choice. The closest Exorcist team that they could send in had been in Beijing while we were in Jakarta. The boat ride had been hell. The traffic had been hell. The heat was hell. I was half convinced I'd walked straight into Hell. I wouldn't be surprised.

As much as I would've loved to be here for linguistic purposes, my motives for being in a country with heat that could be confused for holy fury was purely Vatican. I am an Exorcist, if not a very good one. I destroy Akuma, which are basically robotic zombies with guns attached to them. They came in different sizes and shapes after Level One, and that was when I needed a little help. Of course, this was also my reason for being here.

Over the past six months, somehow my family managed to become Accommodators. Every last stinking one of them. I thought I was going to have to hang myself. As if I didn't worry enough about my family as it was, I had to figure out how to deal with them all having supernatural weapons and fighting creatures that could easily turn all of them into dust, quite literally. I was getting cold sweats just thinking about it.

I put my head down on the cold surface of the table and groaned. I was here to negotiate terms upon how to put my siblings up for apprenticeships under various Exorcists. The Generals were all overburdened at the moment having already lost two of their number. Kevin Yeegar had died earlier this year, and Cross Marian had also disappeared off the face of the earth. No one was quite sure where he was, and I couldn't say that I felt sorry for him. Rumor had it he committed suicide, but I wasn't one to jump to conclusions until I saw everything for my own eyes. We were being assigned to senior Exorcists who weren't Generals, but who were competent enough to actually receive students. All of them had been chosen carefully- or so Komui told me. I had the distinct feeling he may have picked them all out of a hat just so he didn't have to think so much.

I looked around. The negotiators they'd sent me hadn't exactly been described to me in so many words. They'd said I would 'know them when I saw them.' I wasn't quite sure what this meant, but I had to trust their judgment. My eyes scanned the small tea shop, wondering what I was going to do now. There were mirrors everywhere. According to Lily, the mirrors were for reflecting fortune all over the shop. The Asians were big into fortune and luck. If it worked was anyone's guess. I saw my reflection in the mirror on a pillar not far from me.

My hair was frizzy and wavy in the heat, and it poof-ed in a halo of dark brown. My eyes had dark smudges from nights of throwing up ( I hadn't listened to Lily when she said not to drink the water). My irises were two smears of orange-brown, and the light didn't do my pale skin color any good. I slammed my forehead back into the table again. I looked awful. I hated this meeting. I hated that any of my family were Exorcists in the least way, shape, or form. I hated the idiot Innocence crystals I had to go after because most of what I brought home ended up turning them into Accommodators.

I thought the year I turned fifteen had been the worst of my life. I think I was wrong.

Seeing the man with my tea, I stood up automatically to take it from him. Being myself, I ended up smashing into someone first, and the tea they'd been carrying splattered everywhere on to my black uniform. I let out a surprised shout, and my server put the tea down and got some napkins. The only thing I noticed about the person I'd smacked into was the fact they had a long ponytail and a solid body.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I didn't see you! Here, let me help you, Miss-" I stumbled hastily in English before realizing that this person probably didn't speak English. In fact, they was muttering some rather profane things in Japanese under their breath, and I took a couple of napkins to clean the jacket off. They flinched a bit, but I didn't notice considering my own sisters and brothers did the same thing. As I helped her clean off her black jacket, I suddenly came across the Rose Cross over the left side of her jacket, and I immediately looked up.

I nearly crapped my pants after that.

They were tall, dark, and _male. _Whoever he was didn't look happy at being mistaken for a woman.

"-ter. Mister, uh, I should just-" I thought he was steaming up enough to cook _dim sum_. I tried to shrink. I bowed several times and said, "Sumenasai! Sumenasai!" I gulped and sat down, playing with my napkin and not daring to look up at him. I leaned by face into my hand in a sort of slash-fail moment, and I said in English, "I am _so _sorry. I, uh, I didn't get a good look at you. I automatically thought-" I took my tea and sucked it down so that I didn't say anymore things that could possibly lead to my decapitation.

"Mm," was all he offered in response, sliding into my booth across from me, the heat radiating off of him almost cooking me. He was _really, really _pissed. Then again, I don't think I'd be all that happy if someone mistook me from a guy. Which some people did, when it was from the back and my hair was short on a dark night and it was foggy…

"Eh, Yuu-chan! You found her!" Suddenly, a person-shaped blob of red, green, and black scooted into the booth next to the Japanese man, and squished him against the far wall. Yuu shoved him back for good measure and growled in near-perfect English, "Don't call me that, _baka usagi." _I snorted a bit, nearly sucking tea into my nose. Idiot Rabbit? What a fond nickname.

The other guy was a red head with an eye patch and a green head band holding back his hair. He had a green eye, and looked like the type that joked around a lot. He and my sister Violet would've had a riot together, but chances were I'd never let her near him. One rabble rouser was enough for me. Two was just asking for a disaster. My twins and Violet were a volatile enough combination as it was. He looked nice enough, though, and that was a plus. It weighed out the fact that the other guy was still simmering like a pot left on too long.

A server came up to them, and asked them what they wanted in both English and Thai. The redheaded man answered in unaccented Thai, and the Japanese man merely pointed to the menu. The server nodded and whipped away to get the drinks. I sighed and looked up at both of them. They were an odd pair, and I suddenly realized what the Order had meant when they said I would 'know them when I saw them.' These guys stuck out a mile in a country of dark skinned brunettes. The Japanese guy was pale as the moon, and his hair was blue-black, while his companion would've fit in if he were in Ireland.

"Ah, you must be Magnolia!" the redhead assumed cheerfully. He stuck out his hand over the table and said, "I'm Lavi, Junior Bookman."

"Or the Idiot Rabbit," the Japanese man muttered. Lavi stolidly ignored that comment, and I shook his hand.

"You can, uh, just call me Mag. Magnolia sounds… stuffy," I said. I hated people calling me by my whole name. I don't know what gave my mother the idea to name me after a flower, but I did know that my mother most likely had been drunk and it was the first thing she saw when she woke up to sign the birth certificate. Of course, all of my sisters are named after flowers, but still…

"You shouldn't have told him that," the Japanese man said with a deep sigh. He leaned back in the booth and stared off over my head, looking bored and suspicious all at once. I wasn't surprised. Even Lavi looked a bit on guard. Any good Exorcist was always prepared. There was a reason why I was as tense as a wire all the time. I had had to beat it into Violet and Lily that anyone anywhere could fire on you, but it had taken a few close misses for them to really get the message.

"Awww, don't be such a downer, Kanda," Lavi said with a playful pout. Their tea came, and they left it untouched for the moment. I felt sweat drip down the middle of my back. That was a bad sign. This meant they actually wanted to _talk _to me. I wasn't a bad speaker, but guys made me nervous and for good reason. Even here in daylight, I had to beat my stomach into submission to quit it from sending me 'bad vibe' alerts. I usually paid good attention to them, but they were about as useless as a dead chicken in a bar fight when I was around people of the male persuasion.

"Anyways, you know what we came here to talk about, right?" Lavi asked. He raised one red, expectant eyebrow. I chewed my bottom lip and started to rip small tears into the napkin in front of me.

Note: the napkin is made of cloth. Not paper.

"Yeah. Yeah I do," I said, trying to keep my voice fairly level and failing miserably. It squeaked a bit, and I felt like kicking myself in the head. I could do it, too, if you gave me a shoe that was loose enough. Lavi smiled sympathetically, and Kanda had a magnificent poker face. I attempted not to look so nervous, but that probably made it worse because Lavi took my hands to stop me from decimating any more of the restaurant's napkins.

"I know you're nervous, but if we don't find someone who can teach them, eventually they're going to come up against something they won't know how to fight," Lavi said, and I believed him. I just didn't like the idea of any of my family being farther than I could see them. Hell, I was getting cramps right now! Curse me and my anxiety…

Though I bet my family was having a ball without me. They usually did.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Just… just tell me what I've got to do, and I'll do it," I said after a slight break. Lavi put on a winning smile and said, "All righty then! See, not so hard, right?" I blinked and let my mouth flop like a fish on a deck.

"W-wait, what?"

Lavi tapped the table with his fingers and said, "All you had to do was give us permission. We've got the teachers picked out for all of them. Their Innocence should match up with their teachers so it's easiest for them. We would've put you with General Klaud, but she's already got a student at the moment who's a bit of a handful." At this, Kanda seemed to snort, and Lavi snickered. I suddenly felt sorry for General Nyne, but it wasn't for long. She was a tough cookie, by all accounts.

"We're just here to run things by you and see if you can make any matches that are better. You've been teaching them, haven't you?" I groaned a bit. I had, but I didn't know much myself. It was the blind leading the blind around here, though we somehow managed to survive for an entire year without too many mishaps.

Though I still felt sorry for accidentally whipping my brother Erastus in the balls. He spoke like a mouse for an entire week.

Lavi chuckled and said, "Well, here's the line-up. Seeing as you're a whip wielder, as well as an element wielder, you have two teachers. You have me, and you have Yuu-chan here."

"Don't _call _me that!"

"Ah, come on, you know you love it! Anyways, your sister Lily is with Kanda's old teammate, Noise Marie. He's also a sound type wielder," he explained. I nodded. He handed me a couple of folders, and I flipped through them as he continued to speak.

"The twins Erastus and Sebastian are two interesting cases, so we weren't very sure who to put them with. I've never seen two people with gas type Innocence before…" Lavi said, scratching his chin and thoughtfully staring at the ceiling.

Kanda finished for him. "We stuck them with Allen Walker because of their gender and age. Hopefully, they get along with each other. If not, they'll just have to suck it up." I almost laughed out loud as I considered my twin brothers.

Their Innocence _were_ strange. They took the form of two swinging incense burners that let loose different types of smoke and gas with different effects. Mostly, they were soporifics that made the Akuma incredibly drowsy, but it was best that they not fight with Equipment users because the only people immune to the effects were Parasitic types and themselves, so that was a good match.

"Yeah, tell me about it. Unfortunately, they managed to figure out a diversion tactic they call the 'Nose Melter.' It's a stink bomb, and I will be glad to have them gone, for once," I said with a slightly fake laugh. Okay, I wouldn't be happy, but at least I didn't have to hold my nose every time I went into their room. They made a big enough stink as it was _without _any help. I flipped through Allen's dossier. I'd heard of him, and I'd worked with him only once on a mission in Germany. He wasn't exactly the twins' type, but I figured they'd get along.

"The next on the list is Violet. She'll be with Lenalee considering her Innocence sticks to her feet. Allen's and Lenalee's group will be put together for safety reasons considering their age," Lavi explained. I nodded, half an ear out for what he was saying as I flipped through Lenalee Lee's file. I'd already heard enough about her from Komui chirping in my ear, so I didn't see a lot that I didn't already know.

"And finally, Ava," Lavi said cheerfully, and I felt my heart slowly rip itself in half.

Ava was only three years old. She was selectively mute. Ever since a fire burned down our original house in Seville, Spain, she'd never uttered a word, and fire scared the bejesus out of her. If I lit candles, she'd never move from the spot she was sitting at, and so far no psychiatrist I'd gone to could figure out how to get her to talk. I never lit fires, even in winter. They scared her enough that she wouldn't eat or sleep. It pained me that she'd somehow manage to mistake Innocence for candy after I'd let her take a look at it.

She'd ended up half-dragon, or something like it. She burps fire, sprouts wings, and enjoys ripping up furniture. My property damages bill forever skyrocketed after Ava went Grendel on me. At least she could get shot and not char to bits…

"We've paired her up with Aleister Krowley-" My eye twitched as I looked up and lurched forwards over the table.

"The _vampire?" _I think the dogs across the street howled as my voice entered the region of hearing no human should be able to achieve.

Lavi tried to calm me, waving his hands in front of him in a 'calm down' motion.

"H-he's perfectly harmless, I promise! He looks scary, and I know he doesn't have a good reputation, but if there aren't Akuma around he's an angel! Really! Kuro-chan wouldn't hurt a fly," Lavi assured me. I felt my eye twitch, and I put a finger over the lid. Sleepless nights and anxiety were getting to me. Being a linguist and an Exorcist had its downsides. One of them being that endangering my health was an occupational hazard. The other being that I begin muttering to myself in a myriad of different languages, and most people begin to think I'm a little crazy.

Of course, going insane was just another risk on a long list. Perhaps I was already crazy. That wouldn't surprise me too much either.

Lavi added, "Because Ava's so young, Krow-chan is paired up with Noise Marie and Lily." That made me feel a bit better. Noise looked like he was competent, and Lily knew most of Ava's ins and outs well enough to take care of her with me gone.

"Okay. Is there anything else I need to know?" I asked, my voice sounding weary and threadbare even to me. I wasn't cut out for this type of work. I really wasn't. What was with God and his weird sense of humor that he sent a geek to do a soldier's job?

"MAAAAGGIIIE!"

I ducked, scrunching my face up into a sheepish grimace. I'd know that voice anywhere. She either followed me, asked around, or decided she was fed up with the twins, Lily, and Ava.

With a slow turn of the head that would've done a horror movie director proud, I looked behind me to see a girl with short, short hair sticking up in tufts in the heat. Her namesake purple eyes stood out a mile in the tea shop full of Asians, and her angled face was set in an expression of careless annoyance. She cast her eyes around and found me, her eyes lighting up. She trotted over like an excited puppy, a smile splitting her face in half. She tackled me in a hug, her arms around my neck, and squealed, "MAGGIE! Oh my _gosh, _I was so bored. You won't believe what Erastus and Sebastian did! They-… Who're these two? And is that a girl or a guy? I can never tell with Asians."

I swore that if Vi didn't shut up soon, Kanda was going to have a stroke because the vein in his forehead was beginning to look like a balloon. Lavi snickered- well, until Violet asked, "And what's with the Mexican pirate?" Lavi blinked, and frowned.

"Uh, I'm actually-" Violet went on as if she hadn't even heard him.

"Anyways, the twins busted your room. They were playing with the Censers, and they ended up smoking it out with the Nose Melter," Violet said gleefully, as if she were telling me something that was supposed to be fantastic news. Okay, it was fantastic news for her because she loved seeing me beat up the twins, but I was less than peachy keen.

I smacked my forehead into the table.

"They didn't get Tipsy, did they? Or Mr. Fluffins?" I asked. Kanda made a sound between a snicker and a snort, and Lavi didn't even bother hiding a guffaw. My sister Lily named the cat, Mr. Fluffins. It wasn't my doing!

"Er, well… they sort of did. And Parley isn't very happy either. He keeps threatening the twins with castration because it stinks so bad," Violet giggled. I shot her a nasty look as English speakers turned to look at her, and Violet disregarded everything.

You have to understand that Violet is basically impervious to the opinions of the people around her. Violet believes she is ten foot tall and bulletproof. She also has a mouth only a sailor could love, and that just barely. The things that come out of her mouth are the stuff of old biddies' nightmares. She's as scandalous as scandalous could get.

It was nothing new to me. Her father _was _an American, after all.

"I get the picture, Violet. Now, if you don't shut up I'm going to go and get my sewing kit, hold you down, and stitch your mouth shut," I said in a honey-sweet voice. Violet's smile suddenly turned into plaster, and she put up a finger.

"I'm, uh, just going to leave now. Nice meeting you, Femme Fatale and Mexican Pirate!" They just stared at her, and, worst of all, she _waved. _After that, she left with nary a hair out of place, leaving a dumb silence behind her as everyone watched her leave.

"Okay, two questions; who was that and who is Mr. Fluffins, Tipsy, and Parley?" Lavi finally managed to choke out without becoming incomprehensible due to an overload of laughter. I gave him a dry look and answered, "That was my sister, Violet. Mr. Fluffins is Lily's cat, Tipsy is the twins' dog, and Parley is Ava's parrot who has a very lengthy and rather inappropriate vocabulary. Now, if you don't mind, I think I'm going to clean out my room before the smell sinks into everything."

* * *

"_Krawk, _I'm gonna have yer balls, _kraaawk!_"

"Parlay, why don't you stick a cork in it?"

Erastus was busy beating out a rug that had belonged to the hotel. I say _had _because it stank so bad that they would be force to sell it before the hotel inspector made his usual visit. It let out coughs of dust and green clouds of gas as he beat it with a tennis racket he'd somehow found. His brother Sebastian was joining in with equal fervor, and they kicked up a good head of green cloud. I coughed into my elbow, waving away the green clouds and their acrid smell. Even the clean air from the balcony didn't do much.

"I don't understand what gave you the yen to suddenly fling the Censers around in an enclosed space. The last time you did that, I had to drag your unconscious asses out of a collapsing building because the smell was so bad," I coughed, my hand not doing a good job of getting rid of the smell.

Erastus fixed that by taking his Censer and swinging it around in a quick circle, the censer and chain becoming a blur as the smoke was drawn back inside the bulb of the censer. It was an ornate thing, and you wouldn't have thought such a foul reek could be emitted from something so pretty-looking. The smoke and most of the smell faded, but there was still a ghost of an odor clinging to the rug.

I held up a shirt I'd gotten from the market two days ago, and the stench wafted off it in waves as I shook it out. I sighed and threw it in an ever growing pile of my clothes. It was completely trashed. It was never going to smell the same way ever again.

"It seemed like a good idea at the time," Erastus said.

"Yeah, I mean, it was fun until Censer flew into your bedroom. We sorta lost control over it," Sebastian said sheepishly, hitting the rug again for good measure. It coughed up another wheezing cloud of green, and Lily walked in. Her eyes got wide, she covered her nose, and immediately left. My shoulders sagged as she left. Most of the room was cleaned out of the smell, thanks to Censer's ability to recall some of the stink. That didn't meant that there wasn't a fair amount of nastiness left in the hotel. We were being threatened with ejection from the hotel doors if we didn't clean it all up before the day went out. The front desk was already getting complaints from the surrounding rooms.

"I bet you lost control. I don't think I'll ever be able to smell things normally for the rest of my life," I groaned as I picked up my favorite pair of pants. I sniffed them experimentally, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw a guy on his garden balcony giving me a funny look. I dropped my pants and started to wave my hands at him.

"N-no, no, no, that's not what-" The guy hastily went inside and closed his doors, and I could only sigh. The twins were snickering to themselves, and I felt my eye twitch for the second time that day. My whip uncurled itself from my belt and somehow magically gave both twins a good enough whack to their butt cheeks that they jumped and screamed.

I whistled innocently as they glared at me. My whip was a comforting weight against my hip as I picked up another garment to sniff and judge. At the moment, it looked like the pile of clothes I was going to have dump was winning the contest for size. I flopped into my pile of good clothes (which was pitifully tiny in comparison), and I had the urge to cry.

Suddenly, the phone rang, and the twins looked up expectantly, Pavlov's theories apparent as they just about bolted for the phone. However, Violet got to it first, her girl's intuition probably alerting her to the phone before it even began to ring. Violet could be scary-intuitive when it came to new technology. This was just one instance.

"Hello?" she sing-songed into the phone. There was a voice on the other end, and she suddenly asked, "Um, are we asking for the right girl? I mean, I think Mag's at a gynecologist right now, cleaning out all the cobwebs." I worked my way towards the telephone, Lily dying of laughter on the floor in the kitchenette as I fumed silently. I snatched the phone away from Violet and barked, "Hello?"

"Eh? Magnolia, is that you?"

I blinked several times, and Violet mouthed to Lily 'boyfriend' and winked exaggeratedly. I made a cutting motion across my throat, and that only made the both of them giggle even more.

"Yeah, it is. Could you hang on a minute? I don't want you to be scarred for life from the noises you're about to hear."

Five minutes, several screams, and a stuffing-in-the-closet technique later, I was back on the phone.

"Yes?" I asked sweetly, leaning against the table. I heard several protests and beatings against the closet door, so I kicked the door. It got eerily quiet.

"Uh, well, Allen had an idea. He's here with me, and he wants to talk, sooo…" There was the crinkle of a phone line being moved as the phone was handed to another person.

"Hello? Miss Magnolia, are you there?" The voice was a high, fluting tenor. It was slightly deeper than I remembered it nearly a year ago, but it was still recognizable. It made me absurdly happy to hear a former teammate, and I beat down the feeling of euphoria. It was always good to know that a fellow Exorcist was still alive because our life spans were usually so short. It made me feel a little less alone, despite my family's involvement with the Order.

"Yeah, it's me. Hey there, Allen, you sound good," I said, and I automatically had the urge to kick myself. What was it with me and lame phrases? It wasn't like I was a nervous fifteen-year-old or anything. For all of my abilities with languages, I didn't know how to untie my tongue whenever I was talking on the phone.

"I'm fine, thank you. Glad to hear you're doing good as well," he answered, "I was just wondering if we could meet your family. Most of us are here already in Bangkok. Do you guys have anywhere in mind?" I thought about it. It was a good idea. None of my family had been away from me for so long. In fact, none of them had ever been away from _each other _for very long. This would probably be a good way to ease them into it.

"Mag!" I turned to look in the direction of the stage whisper. Violet had managed to open the closet door, and her head was sticking out with Lily's right over hers.

I gave her a wide-eyed, 'get-back-in-there' type stare, but, as impervious to stares, glares, and the like, she continued on.

"Who is it? Did he ask you on a date?" Violet stage whispered, and Lily giggled madly. I was tempted to close the door on both of their heads, but hospital bills were costly, and I'd rather not have to deal with two complaining siblings.

"Uh, no, not really. What did you have in mind?" I asked. There was a pause, and the sound of muffled talking as Allen and Lavi mumbled to one another. Finally, they seemed to reach a conclusion, and they both said into the phone, "What about Phuket?" I thought about it a little bit.

Phuket is a large island to the south of Siam, and it was famous for hospitality, limestone caverns, and all types of strange things. It wasn't too heavily populated, and I've heard the people were nice. There were also hotels on the island, so we didn't have to camp out anywhere. There were a lot of beaches, and they were famous for their food. It sounded like a good idea, but I didn't know if we could take off a couple of days just for an icebreaker.

"Are you sure? I mean, what about the Akuma? And the Innocence retrievals…" I trailed off, letting the rest of the idea sink in. There was a slight pause as they digested the information, and Lavi answered, "Well, see, we don't have to worry about that too much. There are plenty of Exorcists from Asia taking care of infestations, and besides, we're a bit of nuisance to them as it is because we aren't used to the environment and the language." I nodded in agreement emphatically. I'd experienced that all too well. I preferred dry, cold Europe any day than this miserable, wet heat. The garbled speech they called language was also enough to give me a hammer to the head as well.

"Well… I don't see anything wrong, so… ," I said hesitantly. I wasn't exactly what you'd call a fun person. I was a workaholic, and even I admit that. I'm so ingrained in work that things other people consider 'fun' seem foreign to me. From the closet, Lily and Violet were nodding so much, they looked like a pair of bobble heads. I rolled my eyes at them, turning away from them to show that I wasn't listening to them at the moment. I could almost feel Violet's pout and Lily's downtrodden look.

"Fantastic! We'll meet you tomorrow at your hotel! Is that all right?" Lavi asked. Allen said, "Be sure to bring lots of sunscreen or a parasol. It gets really sunny on the island, when it isn't raining." Great. If there's one thing I hate worse than being completely drenched, it's getting a sunburn. Asia didn't exactly suit me, if you haven't noticed. I loved the culture enough, and my mind was completely agog at everything, but my body wasn't too pleased with the climate or the food. I spend most of my time hugging the toilet.

"Yeah, sure. What time?" I asked with a distracted look as I eyed the twins having another fight with Censer. I glared at them as Erastus caught my eye, and I made a chopping action across my neck. They shrugged and quit, but they started to hit each other with their respective Innocence again. I could only slap my forehead and groan. This was, no doubt, how our room ended up smelling like a cess pool.

"We'll pick you up around eight. How does that sound? Good enough?" I nodded in agreement before saying, "Yeah, that sounds good. I'll just round everybody up and we'll pack." There was a pause and a line of chatter over the phones before Lavi asked, "Do you want us to come to your hotel room, or do you want us to wait in the lobby?" Looking at the hotel room, I could almost see the stench wafting off everything. Though I'd gotten used to the smell, as well as Violet and Lily, I think the rest of the Exorcists would have a hard time keeping breakfast where it belonged if they came up here.

"Uh, the lobby's fine. Really, just... we'll meet you there." I thought I heard snickering on the other end of the line, and I looked up to see that Erastus and Sebastian were listening on the other phone. I threw my shoe at them, and it managed to bounce off one twin's head and hit the other on the rebound. I smiled smugly as they whined. I stuck out my tongue, and I could still hear snickering.

"This is about your brothers gassing your room, isn't it?" I sighed and looked at the handset in my hand. I slammed it down on the cradle. Hopefully, he heard that. If he was wearing a patch over his ear as well as his eye the next time we met, I wouldn't be surprised at all. I'd done worse to a man over the phone. Sighing heavily, I turned around to face the girls crawling out of the closet.

"Go and get your brothers before I strangle them with the phone cord. We leave tomorrow at eight. Bring your swimsuits and your sunscreen, because we're going to Phuket." The two of them screamed giddily, and I think I my eardrums came dangerously close to busting inwards and causing brain damage. Sighing, I muttered, "God, you don't have to mope over it so much." My sarcasm didn't seem to do much to their enthusiasm, and I wandered off the salvage the rest of my clothes.

* * *

"Don't forget to keep the dog off the bed. I know how much you love keep Tipsy with you in the middle of the night," I said as I pushed Vi's bangs away from her forehead. The fifteen-year-old rolled her eyes and groaned in an insolent tone, "All right, _Mom, _I'll keep Tip off the bed." Said dog was currently wagging his shaggy little behind off. Tip is a cross between a Great Dane and a Bernard. The only reason why I named him Tipsy is because when I happen to start tippling, so does he- sad thing is, I don't even know it until half of my bottle of whiskey is gone for no apparent reason. He whined at me and nudged my knee with his giant, wet, clay ball of a nose, turning his brown eyes at me with a pleading look. I glared at him, and he circled around the bottom of the bed a few times before he got the idea that he was _not _going to sleep here. He settled at the foot of the bed, shaggy fur rug that he as, and I stood up.

"We're leaving early tomorrow, remember?" I said. Vi nodded sleepily before reaching over to the light and dimming it. I rubbed Tipsy's head, and he pressed against my hand eagerly. I smiled tiredly, and I closed the door behind me. Sure enough, the minute I left, I could hear bedsprings creak as Tipsy clambered up on Vi's bed like he does every night. I shook my head. My word means about as much as crap on toast. Absolutely nothing.

I wandered over to the twin's room. Sure enough, they were both collapsed on the bed in their customary fashion, one on top of the other in sprawled positions as if someone had thrown them there like rag dolls. Their blondish-brown mess of hair was set in disarray, and one of them had his mouth wide open. The other emitted a loud snore, and one of them farted, I don't know which. I rolled my eyes and closed the door before any more boy-stench could ferment this place more than it had already been abused.

Lily's room was next, and, as per usual, she was sleeping with her cat. Parlay's cage was covered, and the black and white cat was sleeping in the curve behind Lily's perfect knees. Her black hair was strewn out on the pillow, and her Spanish heritage showed in the thick set of her face as well as her sallow skin. Her hands were curled up around a Catholic style crucifix and a flute. I felt a sense of calm settle on me as I watched her sleep. Ava usually slept with Lily, but tonight she was in the kitchen downing a glass of milk. It took us several minutes of 'hand language' for her to tell me what she wanted, but she managed. I already heard the patter of soft feet behind me before I felt the weight of her body hug my leg. I looked down at her and her little, curly pig tails, big green eyes imploring me as she lifted her hands and made grabbing motions.

"Ugh... Ava, you're too old for this, remember? I'm going to end up a hunchback if I do this every night," I said to her. She continued with the cute, little grabby motions before I finally consented and lifted her up. She hugged my neck, and I kissed the top of her head. She was wearing a little night dress that I'd worn myself when I was her age. Vi and Lily had worn it too. Most of the things that we owned were passed down, child to child. Even the boys' clothing were passed from me or Lily. It was a sad fact that I still didn't have enough money to pay for all of them, but we managed most days. I was steadily building up a good sized account in the bank, and they were starting to get new things.

"Come on. Let's put you in bed, all right?" I cooed to her, and she sighed as I quietly walked over to Lily's bed. I placed Ava gently next to Lily, and Ava took her usual position, with her arms around Lily's neck and her face snuggled into her shoulder. The parrot nearly squawked something, but a stare from me that could fry chicken shut him up. Ava had found him in Paraguay, and she'd been attached to him ever since. He knew a variety of curse words as well as inappropriate phrases that I'm guessing came from Violet, because I have no idea where else he could've learned all of that nasty dialogue. I closed the door behind me with a quiet _snick _of the lock, one last look showing the peaceful faces of two of my siblings.

I slowly treaded towards my own bedroom, and I stopped in front of my bedroom door. My hand strayed to the watch in my pocket. I pulled it out, reading the time as nearly midnight. This wasn't anything new either. In fact, I was going to bed pretty early by my count of things. I was an insatiable insomniac with a habit of puttering around at night, especially in places like Asia where the heat was sure to keep you awake all night until around two in the morning when it got cooler. My eyes glued themselves to the picture inside of the pocketwatch of myself, Lily, Erastus, and Sebastian. My mother stood behind me, and behind Erastus was...

I didn't let my mind stray too far on that subject as I closed the watch with a soft sound. I bit my lip as I stared at the floor, and then I pressed on into my room. This was a cogitation for a completely different time when I wasn't likely to use a bottle of liquor as my method of rumination. I'd sworn off strong spirits, but every now and again I collapsed a bit. No one blamed me for it... well, no one but myself. And maybe Violet. Definitely Violet.

Hypocrite. Her getaway is annoying the hell out of the nearest person. That's a whole other ballpark, as her father would've said. I sighed as I collapsed on my bed, fully dressed. Nothing like a day in the life of an Exorcist. My thoughts drifted around in my head, and I sniffled. Suddenly, I realized that I was crying for no apparent reason, and I buried my face into my pillow. Some days, I didn't know what was wrong with me. Other days, I knew what it was, but I didn't want to admit it.

And there were days where I wanted to scream at God, 'Why must children fight your war?' Because the reason I was coming close to what was practically a mental meltdown was the fact that, on their own, they'd be facing the ugly face of death with guidance from a stranger. In a sort of perverse way, I was jealous. I wanted to be there for them, to comfort and help them. They knew what death looked like already, but the softened, slow version you only saw in a hospital bed surrounded by people. Fighting, though, the rigors of war, the horrific sights of the dying were a completely different matter.

And I wouldn't be there. The thought revolved in my head as I immediately drifted off for whatever slumberland was waiting for me.

* * *

A baht coin flipped in the air, turning end over end before landing in the middle of Lavi's palm. He looked around the room at the Exorcists camped out on the bed or the floor. They were awfully tired, and the heat of the day had sapped their energy. Given a few days, they'd adjust, but at the moment they were about as useful as a couple of wet noodles. Kanda was sprawled out in a bed while Allen was slouching in a chair. He himself was leaning against a wall, watching the two of them and making sure they didn't kill each other.

"What do you think about Mag, Allen? You've worked with her before, haven't you?" he asked brightly. Allen looked at Lavi with an exhausted expression as if to say 'why do you have to ask me _now?' _Lavi's irrepressible attitude towards everything certainly could get annoying some days, but Allen was determined to stay positive. He forced himself to lean forwards in his chair, and he answered, "She's all right. I mean, she can be a little up tight, and if she's away from her family for too long she gets... antsy." Allen smiled with a slight wince. The last time he'd worked with the older Exorcist had been nearly five months ago. She had tried to hide her anxiety, but it was obvious she was starting to worry.

"She's annoying," Kanda put tersely, and Lavi scoffed.

"You're just angry she accidentally called you Miss. Face it, Kanda, with hair like yours, _I _could've mistaken you for a girl, and I actually know you." A shoe suddenly collided with his head, and he fell on the floor, his visible eye twitching. Allen stood up suddenly as it processed that Lavi'd been floored with an airborne projectile.

"Kanda! That's not-"

"Nice? Yeah, it's not nice. It's not supposed to be nice. Bastard." Kanda huffed and turned on his side so he was facing away from the redheaded Bookman. Lavi sat up and rubbed the growing lump on his head. He pouted and said, "Yuu, what's wrong with you? You can't be in denial forever! The first step to recovery is-" Another shoe hit him square in the face. Allen, so used to this constant abuse of his fellow Exorcists, didn't even bother to get up. He only sighed and slapped the palm of his hand to his forehead with resignation. These guys wore him out.

"What's Violet like?" Allen asked, trying to lead Lavi in a direction that didn't involve being mauled by shoes. It was amazing the Bookman didn't have brain damage yet, but that may just account for his amazingly thick head. It would surely explain a lot. Lavi looked at Allen with a blank stare for a moment, and Allen was suddenly worried that maybe that shoe had hit him a little _too _hard. Lavi's face split into a grin, and he snickered. The snicker built into a laugh, and that laugh turned into a guffaw.

"HAHAAA! You'll love Violet! If only Lenalee were here, they'd have a blast. She thought Kanda was a girl-!" This time, Lavi was hit in the back of the head with Mugen's sheath. Lavi went down like a sack of potatoes on his face, a small noise emitted from his mouth as he fell over. When Lavi didn't get back up, Allen let out a worried little shout, rushing over to him. He flipped the redhead over, little swirlies in the Bookman's eyes. Allen sweatdropped as he looked down at him, and he could hear Kanda from the bed saying, "Finally, silence. I didn't think I'd be throwing anything hard enough to get him to shut up." Allen snapped his head around to glare at the Japanese Exorcist. He started to haul Lavi to a bed, grunting every now and then.

"What... about... the others..." Allen said between pulling Lavi to a bed and stopping to catch his breath in the muggy air. How did Kanda survive? Had he grown gills or something? Allen had seen him do a hundred push ups outside in the courtyard with hardly a sweat while he tried to do only ten pull-ups on a bar dripping buckets. It had to be something about his being a Second Exorcist, or at least his being Asian... Though Lavi did a pretty good job in this horrid heat as well. It might've affected his judgment, though, considering how he was acting right now. His usual recovery time from Kanda's usual abuse was lagging at the moment, considering Allen was dragging him across the floor at the moment.

"I haven't met them yet. I bet they're just as bad as Violet is," Kanda grumbled irritably, and Allen suddenly regretted having said anything. Of course, Kanda would automatically fire back with something like that. Lavi now lying prostrate on the bed, legs and arms sprawled out in different directions, Allen flopped on another bed. Tomorrow they'd meet them, and hopefully they wouldn't be targeted. From what they knew, these were all beginners or intermediate fighters. They hadn't been seasoned. Mag must've managed to teach them the basics of fighting off Akuma. It wasn't like they were too difficult.

1. Don't get shot. 2. Don't get shot. 3. Don't trip. 4. Don't get shot.

There was a whole other subset of rules, too, but these were probably the most conclusive directions a person needed if they were dealing with the Akuma and happened to have left their weapon in a hotel room.

Lavi. Psh. Allen didn't think he'd ever seen the Bookman run that fast. Wait, this was actually a lie. He _had _seen him run that fast. But, it was after an ice cream truck instead of from a gun toting maniacal amalgamation of lunacy and terror that came straight out of Satan's imagination. Still, if you didn't have priorities...

"What's the game plan?" Kanda idly asked, just to say something. Even the silence was thick as the air, and Kanda could swear he was gurgling every time he took a breath. At this rate, he'll have evolved into a man-fish just to accommodate his surroundings. Still, he was dealing with it better than the two sorry excuses for flesh across from him. Allen sighed as he swung his arm over his face and said, "We'll meet them in the lobby of their hotel on Pratchat Wanathit Road. We get acquainted with our respective students. Lenalee and Krowley won't be with us until next week, though, so it'll just be us three and the five of them. We'll get on a boat, head towards Phuket, and-"

"Practically fry our skin off in the heat."

"Yeah. That."


	2. A Morning With Idiots

The morning sunlight shone through the windows in golden slats. They washed over the faces of my siblings as I went from room to room. I was always the last to go to bed, the first to fall asleep. As I looked in on their peaceful faces, I felt my heart break. I'd be leaving them. They'd be leaving me. Our separation was suddenly so apparent, it seemed to loom like some sort of thundercloud over my head. I wasn't sure how I'd handle it. My family... they were my life. All my time and all my energies were directed towards keeping them fed, clothed, safe, and happy. If it wasn't for them...

I steered my thoughts in another direction. I had long put a roadblock up in that portion of my head. It was too easily accessible- and it was too easy to become lost in that part of me. There were all sorts of ills I could name, but as long as I could direct all my focus towards one point, one goal, I would be fine. My main focus, though, was about to disappear, and that was my problem. I knew how all of my siblings would take the separation. I knew them better than I knew myself. It was a simple fact of life.

Lily was self-sufficient. She could take care of herself, if she could get that scatterbrained head of hers to focus on anything for a few minutes at a time. The only thing I worried about from her is that she would watch a bird in the sky and 'awwww' at it, and then suddenly fall off a cliff. However, Noise Marie would be with her, and I'm sure he'd take good care of her. He had, after all, worked with the infamous Kanda Yuu. He had to be good if he could stand that stiff, cold excuse for a man. She would miss me, but in that airheaded, unfocused, vague way she had about her. I was going to definitely miss her sometimes stupid, sometimes scarily wise bits of advice. In fact, I'd probably end up becoming an anorexic in her absence- she was our cook, for the most part. I couldn't boil water to save my life. I could ruin _ice _if I decided to try making it.

I had no doubt that Violet would do absolutely fine without me. She and I had had numerous arguments over small things. My absence was probably equivalent to freedom for her. She'd be breaking out the maracas and the sombreros to call out for a _fiesta. _A comical image of her dressed in L. E. Baum's Winkie's garb came to mind as she marched, shouting, "The witch is dead! The witch is dead!" with me sprawled out somewhere, birds twittering around my head. I didn't doubt that she would miss me- she just wouldn't miss me much. I trusted Allen and Lenalee enough with her; it was the two mentors that I was most worried about. Violet could get herself into all sorts of trouble. Most days, she probably does it intentionally just to do something worthwhile that day. That didn't mean that she was a bad person- she just happened to succumb to boredom a lot easier than the rest of us. Her methods of relieving that boredom could be rather unorthodox.

Like putting green dye in my shampoo. Yeah. Unorthodox.

The twins- oh, the twins. Those two were like the bane of my existence and the fruit of my triumph. I loved them dearly, but if they didn't know how to push my buttons. I didn't fight with them _ever. _They were too... too... mellow! They didn't rise to bait, they always told the truth, and they never got into arguments with each other. They were just two young boys trying to have a little fun once in a while. Sixteen year olds will be sixteen year olds, I guess. They would probably take my separation as just another obstacle they could get over in a matter of days. When they were stressed, they tended to stick together and refuse to come apart. As long as they were together, they could tackle anything. It was a gift of unity that Violet, Lily, nor I could even dream of having.

And Ava. I suddenly felt a tear go down my face. I walked over to a chair and pulled it out, sitting down in it. I didn't know why it hurt so much to think that Ava was leaving with Lily, too. Perhaps it was her age. Maybe it was because I'd brought her into the world with my own hands. I'd been my mother's midwife during her very last birth, and I couldn't think of a more proud moment when I held Ava in my arms for the first time. She'd been so small. I'd been so much younger. But the fact that I would be absent would not matter to her in the least. She would forget me, just like she forgot the mother that birthed her. The next time we'd meet, she would be older and a little wiser, and perhaps a bit more torn and raggedy than she was now. I would be a stranger to her. The thought brought me to tears again.

A nose nudged my leg, and a whine sounded from next to me. I looked down at Tipsy. The dog whined again, putting a paw on my leg. I smiled at him, scratching behind his ears. The dog seemed to smile as his tongue lolled out of his mouth, his eyes closed and his head pressed against my hand. Little mooch, he was always doing this. Somehow, this stupid dog could manage to make me smile no matter what. I realized that I wasn't sure exactly how we were going to split the pests- er, I mean, _pets _between us. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door, and I just about fell out of my chair. I scrambled to the door, and I looked through the hole.

I nearly died right on the spot. Kanda, Allen, and Lavi were standing there in the hallway. Does no one listen to me when I speak? I said for them to wait in the lobby! I looked out of the corner of my eye at the reflection in the mirror, and I could've choked. My hair was a complete and utter mess. My eyes had bags under them. My clothes were rumpled, and I wasn't wearing much underneath my nightdress. I couldn't be seen like this! It was unsanitary! In a panic, I ran for the bathroom, but in the process, I managed to trip over the dog, land on my back, knock the breath out of me, and let out a choked half-scream, half-cry. I lay on the floor for several more seconds before the knocking started up again. I groaned, unwilling to get up. I wasn't surprised that nobody else woke up. Everyone in my family sleeps like they've been put six feet under.

Tip, deciding this was a good time to annoy the hell out of me, traipsed over from where he'd been laying and sat on my chest. I coughed again as his weight just about crushed my ribcage to splinters. I flailed around as he started to lick my face. Okay, to add to the fact I was in my nightdress and my hair was a complete disaster, I had a dog sitting on me and licking me to within an inch of my life.

"Eugh, get off of me!" I grunted as I shoved the dog off. Wiping off what slobber I could, I decided that they'd have to deal with Mag the Hag and screw it if they didn't like how I looked. I threw open the door, and stared at them. As their mouths fell open, I rolled my eyes and said, "I don't normally look like this and, God help me, if you say a word, I'll probably shove your head in the toilet and see how long it takes you to drown." I don't know if it was the scare-hair or the perfected stare down, but none of them said anything, not even Mr. I-Look-Like-A-Girl-But-I'm-Actually-A-Guy. I stepped out of the doorway, and I let them in, hoping that their sense of smell somehow was ruined by years of sniffing Akuma blood.

"Shoooo wee, what died in here?" That hope just died like a lame duck in open season.

I slapped my face, rubbing my temples in an effort to try and get a grip on my sanity. This was just a _fabulous _way to start the morning. I stand by my decision that mornings should be made illegal. Violet poked her bedhead out of the door long enough to see Allen and squeal.

"You guys are here! That's fantastic!" Violet bounced out of her room, and it suddenly occurred to me that whenever I happened to be slumping somewhere in a stew, she was about as bright and cheery as a monkey on nitrous oxide. She stood in all her hardly-clad glory, short-shorts and all. I could see that Allen was probably at a loss for words, considering the fact that he'd never met an American before. Not that all Americans are completely crazy- just the ones that I know. Which happens to include Violet, Violet, and, oh, Violet. Ne'er there was such a lass with her hair cropped shorter or her shorts hiked higher.

"So, when're we leaving? Now?" Violet asked. I stared at her with a dubious expression. Seeing that I was less than amused, she stared at me innocently and asked, "What?" Lily yawned out of her room, her hair in snarls.

"What's going on? Oh, you guys are he- OH MY GOD! I'm not dressed! Why didn't you tell me people were coming?" I frowned. Nobody listens to me!

"I did tell yo-"

"What the hell? Can't we get some slee- Holy crap, that was today wasn't it?" Sebastian said, looking at the three Exorcists with awe. Erastus stuck his head out, peering at the three before he said, "Huh. That's new. Are these your boyfriends? I didn't think you could hook three at once." I threw the nearest thing I could find at the idiot, but he knew how to duck. Tittering and laughing, they escaped to the sanctity of their little, snotty, stinky room. Ava was last to see what the commotion was about, and I was surprised the rest of the hotel hadn't come to see the Exorcists. I stared down at her, and she pulled on my nightie.

"What?" I asked tiredly. Amazingly enough, I almost sounded like I was pleading. Ava reached up her hands and made grabby motions, so I picked her up. Suddenly, there was a crack in my back, and I stopped dead for a minute. That... didn't sound good. I tried to stand up straight, and found out that I couldn't. Crap! Not again!

I've had my back stuck this way several times. None of those times were fun. I don't know how I do it, or why it happens, but it always does at the worst possible time. Like now, when I'm carrying a heavy, forty-pound little girl and I can't bend over to put her back down! This is a problem women over sixty should experience, not people who're only eighteen. I hobbled over to the couch.

"This place is-"

"Crazy?" I answered for Allen. "Yeah, I know." I tried to pop my back into place without a lot of luck. I was stuck in a weird position with my top half leaning back.

"I was going to say busy, but..."

"Eh, if it wasn't busy, this would be boring! We need a little excitement!" Lavi enthusiastically started to look into the rooms until Violet let out a rather indignant 'HEY! I'M CHANGING IN HERE! PERVERT!' before slamming the door right on his nose. He stood there for a moment before turning back and saying, "She's not a morning person, is she?" Violet? A morning person? That was like trying to imagine an elephant tap dancing on a tomato. It wasn't going to happen. Cheery, yeah, but morning person... I started to back up towards the couch, dropping Ava on to it as she looked at me with a mournful look. I quivered under that shaking lip, and I groaned as I picked her up again. She was back to her passive, happy self of course, but my back probably wasn't going to be realigning itself any time soon. At least it wasn't painful... yet.

"What got you guys up so late, anyways?" Allen asked with a concerned expression. Lily poked her head out of her room, black hair a nest on top of her head as she said, "Well, I'm sure you know about the twins, and their collective idiocy-"

"HEY!"

Lily rolled her eyes and plowed straight on. "They practically stink bombed the place, and it kept us up all night long." I nodded in affirmation with her, carrying Ava over to the kitchen where I could put her on the counter (a place she likes and won't make a fuss about) while discreetly putting all of my vertebrae back in their right order. Kanda had yet to say anything, Lavi looked awfully fascinated with our ice chest, which seemed to be exhibiting sentience considering the mass of colorful mold that was inside of it, and Allen was trying to be polite by not covering his nose from the stench. I could already feel the humiliation I was going to get back at the Order waiting for me. Knowing Violet, she'd blow the whole thing out of proportion, but you never knew-

My back suddenly made a disgruntled popping noise, and I let out a rather high squeak. With a pained expression, I rubbed my lower back, which was currently threatening to secede from the rest of my spine. Suddenly, a shoe flew through the air, and I only had enough time to dodge it before it smashed into the wall behind me and landed on the table. Seeing that it was a boot without a heel, I knew automatically who to scream my head off at.

"SEBASTIAN! ERASTUS! WHAT HAVE I SAID ABOUT THROWING SHOES IN HOTELS?" Both boys poked their heads out of their room and said in unison, "Our bad, Mum." I rolled my eyes at their sarcastic and less than sincere answer. Allen's eyes were wide as dinner plates as Violet screamed in the bathroom, and Lily rushed to investigate. This was a usual morning. No doubt, Violet probably found-

"_There's dog hair on my toothbrush! I'm going to kill that thing if it's the last thing I do before I die_!"

-that Tip's hair gets absolutely everywhere. This is the reason why I keep my toothbrush in my bag where it's completely hair free.

Kanda raised an eyebrow as Lily ran out of her room in nothing but a towel. She brushed her hair out of her face and ran up to me, rambling, "Ohmigod, ohmigod, ohmigod, ohmigod-!" Slapping a hand to my forehead, I kneaded the bridge of my nose as I groaned, "Spit it out, Lils, I'm sort of busy at the moment." She finally took a breath and whispered conspiratorally, "There's a man next door, and he keeps looking over at our window! I'm serious, it's really creepy!" I frowned, attempting to bend over and put Ava down, but apparently my lumbar vertebrae were still having a Congress with the rest of me considering it couldn't agree on whether it wanted to bend or not. I handed off Ava with a sigh, not even looking to whoever was the lucky person getting to carry her, and I was rushing off to see what exactly she was talking about. As I passed by the three guys standing awkwardly in the main living room, I told them, "Sit down, make yourselves at home. Of course, whatever you do, don't feed Tip anything out of the ice chest, no matter how clean it looks. Be careful with the parrot, he likes to bite, and if he swears at you, try to top him. It might just shut him up for once. And the cat loves to play with hair, so you might want to, um..." I motioned to Kanda to put his hair where it wouldn't end up shredded and full of cat.

I walked into the bathroom where a small window with a curtain stood. As usual with our luck, we happened to get the only bathroom with a window facing the shower. Thai bathrooms most usually had a window ABOVE the shower rather than below it for one simple reason- privacy. We apparently didn't need it because we were teenagers who liked to show everything off. Mostly because of something Violet whispered under her breath discreetly (in her mind) about the receptionist's lazy eye. I've learned two things about hotels in the past few years. Always bring your own water. Don't insult your receptionist. She has yet to understand these two pearls of wisdom.

I looked out the bathroom window to across the street where there was a little shop with an upstairs floor. I looked for the aforementioned man, but didn't find anything other than a- I stopped dead in my tracks and felt myself deflate like a balloon. "Lily! Get over here!" The girl came flopping into the bathroom, towel and all, as I pointed out the window across the street. It was a street window, one that everyone could see from ground level. Lily's eyes widened as she started to point furiously and say, "That's him! That's the guy who keeps staring at me!" I looked behind her and said, "Yeah, uh huh. You know what that is Lils?" Lily frowned, obviously confused now.

"It's a mannequin. Not a _man. _A _mannequin. _It's not watching you, stupid, it's made of wood and plaster." Lily, taking offense, bristled and huffed, turning her back to me. She retorted, "Hey, it was an honest mistake! Sheesh." She stomped out of the bathroom, and I just leaned on the counter waiting for her. She'd be back in three, two, one-

Lily rushed in and grabbed her clothes as well as the rest of her beauty kit before scurrying off to her room. Yep. This was my life, ordered chaos. I turned to look behind me at the window, and suddenly my back seemed to agree that it was better if it was in a straight line rather than a bunch of different sections. It cracked, and I let out a sigh of relief as I realized that I could actually move without looking like some creepy artist's modelling doll. As I walked out, though, I noticed something on the ceiling of the bathroom. My shoulders drooped as I realized that this was probably some graffitti Violet had inscribed on the wall. She called it 'art.' I called them 'vandalism-fees-waiting-to-happen.' Taking a rag, I stood on the edge of the tub as I started to scrub the ceiling of ink. I leaned a bit more forwards to get at a tough spot...

Suddenly, air was under my feet, and after that, I don't know what happened.

* * *

When I woke up, everyone was leaning over me, and I frowned. My head felt as if someone had done a bit of demolition work using pickaxes and dynamite inside of my skull. My back gave the feeling of being twisted into a pretzel. And I was pretty sure I broke my pinkie, considering I had the impression that it was on fire from the pain radiating off of it. Lavi held up three fingers and said, "Okay, Mag, how many fingers?" I focused for a minute as they sort of swirled around, and I answered in a bit of a groggy tone, "Three." Everyone let go of a breath, and I scanned the faces around me. Sitting up slowly, I winced as my back went back to being a total and utter bi-

"Hey, hey, not so fast," Lavi said. Allen came by with a glass of water, but I refused it considering the fact that I'd had _enough _to do with this place's water treatment. Violet gushed out, "Man, I don't know how you did it, but that was awesome!" The twins smiled and high-fived her. Lily smiled and said, "Yeah, we thought you were dead for a minute. I didn't know it was possible to bend a shower rod that way..." I frowned. Wait, what? Ava suddenly came by and hung on my arm, looking at me with her soulful big eyes. She blinked once, and I looked up at the rest of them.

"Okay, someone had better explain this to me. _What _about a shower rod?" Lavi scratched the back of his head as he said, "Well, you see, you sort of slipped in the bathroom-"

"You grabbed the shower rod, cracked your head on a wall, pulled the shower rod down and got your leg snagged on it-" Violet input, numbering everything off on her fingers. With every detail, I could feel my face go slack with mortification. "-bent the rod, pulled down several other shower products, scratch up the wall, take out the window with a shoe-" That explains why my left foot felt curiously different from my right. "-and bled all over the wall." I stared in disbelief. There was a period of silence as Violet smiled as if there was absolutely nothing wrong with me smashing my head in a shower and breaking a window.

". . . WHAT?" This time, I did sit up, and it didn't take long for me to figure out that was a bad idea, seeing as my eyes suddenly processed the image of a polar bear in a snowstorm instead of a hotel room. I swallowed as nausea rolled around in my stomach, and I tried my hardest not to throw up. This was definitely putting a dent in my day. I stumbled to the bathroom, but, somehow, my entire family managed to gravitate to the bathroom door before I could get there. They had that look on their face that made me think of the time they accidentally dyed Tip blue. My eye twitched as they shook their heads with that stricken look, and I palmed my face.

"Is it really that bad?" I asked. All of them looked at each other... and they nodded all at the same time. Even the _dog _nodded. The parrot flew in and landed on Erastus' shoulder and squawked, "_Krawk, _she's gonna die. _Krawk, _lotsa blood. _Krawk, _damage bill!" He couldn't have said it better. I went back and sat down, the rest of my family dispersing to go to different locations to go and get their bags. Mine was already packed and ready to go, but then again I always had my bag packed. During one of the rare missions where I was split from my family, I ended up rooming with a pyromaniac in a hotel. I learned the hard way to always wear socks while sleeping, keep your bag next to your bed fully packed, and never, ever, ever leave out matches where someone can play with them. Luckily, Komui footed that bill, seeing as the entire thing was in cinders by the end of the night. I didn't think that'd happen here, considering the humidity, amazing amount of rain, and lack of candles, but knowing my luck...

After cleaning up my head and checking if I had a concussion, we left the hotel room. It didn't seem like there were going to be any mishaps. True, there was a pretty big bill for the missing bottles of champagne (Violet's doing), and I had a gratuitous amount of glaring from the receptionist with his lazy eye (also Violet's doing), but all in all, this was a particularly uneventful trip. I shook my head as I went outside, getting slightly dizzy as the humidity slammed me in the face like a dead fish. Lavi sighed happily, and I stared at him, along with Lily. Both her and my hair had exploded almost the minute we stepped outside. We were now several inches taller now that our hair added to our height. As we called a rickshaw, I noticed that Allen looked especially tense.

"Hey... Allen, what's wrong? You look kind of..." Violet searched for the word, biting her lip in concentration. Sebastian finished for her. "Jumpy?"

"Hey, shut up! I was getting to that!"

"It's not my fault you have the processing power of a turtle."

"I _do not _have the processing power of a turtle."

"Do too."

"Do not."

"Do too."

"Do _not._"

"Do-"

Allen sighed and said, "I think they forgot what their original question was." He must've meant to say it under his breath, but Violet ,with her amazing ability to hear anything that pertains to herself, managed to catch it. She cocked her head to the side sweetly, shoving Sebastian over his bag. "Ouch! That hurt, you little-"

"What's got your knickers in a twist?" I kept an ear out, seeing as I knew that Allen had the innate ability to sense Akuma coming near. I'd witnessed it firsthand, and it was... well, pretty strange. Though strange is something I've long gotten used to, it still never failed to surprise me whenever I heard that high-pitched whining sound and a gasp. Though Kanda was looking off, probably watching for our rickshaw, I could see that he was listening, too. Lavi was too busy talking to a vender about some sweets, and Ava was playing with Parley. Mr. Fluffins twitched his tail back and forth, eyeing the sky with intent. Tip was nosing around in the garbage, but suddenly his ears perked up out of nowhere, and he stood at attention, completely tense. I could almost feel the air get thicker.

"I... I don't know, it just... This place kind of doesn't feel right," Allen said, looking around nervously. I understood what he meant. The tension here was building, and senior Exorcists were able to feel the calm before the storm. My siblings were all new, junior Exorcists who'd been on a grand total of two missions, while I'd been on five or six. True, I'd dragged them along with me, but nevertheless... Kanda put a hand on his sword's hilt, and I noticed it. My own hands were itching at the wire coiled at my waist. Allen's eye suddenly reacted, and he said, "There are probably two to the left, one to the right, three behind the building. That's usually how they do things. With such a big group of us, they won't miss out on where we're at." Lavi, finally back with several bags of different Thai candies and jelly desserts noticed just how uptight we were being, but he had already been on guard, too. He was holding everything in his left hand, his right dangling near the holster where he kept his hammer.

"Lily, Violet, you know what I want you to do. Guard Ava if you can, team up and run otherwise. Sebastian, Erastus-"

"Gotcha, Mum," they said in unison. They figured they'd go with our normal plan, too, which was divide and conquer. With the help of three senior Exorcists, this shouldn't be too difficult, but I still felt the hair on my arms stand up in apprehension. Tip, Mr. Fluffins, and Parley had all run off already, falling into routine whenever they felt that the air was about to get a little full of metal and blood. They didn't like to be around, and we didn't like them underfoot anyways. I swallowed thickly, and Allen said, "Now there are twenty. Six to the left, five to the right, four to the front, and five coming from behind." The street kept bustling with activity, elephants carrying loads while rickshaws attached to bikes ran up and down the street. Venders continued to hawk their goods, oblivious to the fight that was about to fill up the avenue.

Everything exploded in a rush of dust. I could hear the _snick _sound of a gun cocking back as they took turns firing. I ducked into the building, screaming as I went. Sebastian and Erastus were long gone, having run off for the rooftops where the air was clearer, and it was less dangerous for the rest of us whenever they decided to use the Censers to gas out most of the airborn Akuma. Ava was already weaving in and out of the dust, screams from the people in the street not fazing her. Lily was nowhere to be seen, and Violet was already gone. I headed back out into the street, muttering curses under my breath as I looked left, then right, then-

I ducked a hail of bullets, one of them nearly racing across my head as I hit the pavement. I tried to untangle Wire from my belt, but it wasn't coming free. Who knew that my fumble fingers would probably kill me? I managed to get it free, and I muttered, "Come on, come on, come on, this would be a nice time to activate right now..." I could see the Akuma now. Most of them were Level Ones, which were basically small fries (well, to Violet and Sebastian. To me, they were Eggs of Death). There were probably three Level Twos out of the entire bunch, and Lavi, Allen, and Kanda were already dealing with them. Something flew over my head, and I saw Ava streaking down the street on wings like gossamer. Her skin was shiny green from the tiny scales that covered her body, and her eyes were an intense yellow. She hovered for a minute, looking for me, before suddenly breathing fire at an Akuma. I ducked as it singed my hair, and I deadpanned.

"AVA! CAREFUL!"

The little girl shrugged before ducking away, dodging bullets. Despite the strange image, I'd gotten _used _to it. I think my sanity is in jeopardy.

I whipped out Wire, the length of it cascading out as I whipped its length around in a circle, cutting Akuma like cheese. Pieces of guns and metal fell away around me, and I ducked. The metal whip was hair-thin and near invisible, which was a bit of a problem considering _I _can't see it either. I ran out from under the raining pieces when an Akuma above me started firing on its comrades, a small music note glowing on the back of it. I could see Lily far off, playing her flute and controlling the Akuma from afar. Violet was busy skating across surfaces, her skates gleaming solid black and electric blue as she raced past, whipping my hair into a frenzy around my head. She cut apart several with the razor edge of her skates, but she clumsily fell over, rolling in the dirt. I felt my heart fly up in my throat as Akuma frenzied around her, but Lavi was already covering her with his massive hammer.

I gulped as I stared at the thing. It was _immense. _I could only really process one thing about it- something that big shouldn't be able to move that fast. Ever.

"Heads up, Mag!" I just barely missed being turned into Swiss cheese as I snapped Wire around again. Luckily, they basically missed me. These Akuma had some pretty bad aim, which was surprising. Then again... I looked up to see that there was a strange cloud of gray-purple hanging around, and the Akuma were lazily smashing into each other. I stared as one of them actually _giggled _and started to twirl like a ballerina. I stared at the twins, who were hopping from rooftop to rooftop (which isn't as dangerous as it sounds, considering the buildings were hardly five feet away from one another). I shouted at them, "What did you do?" The twins looked down at me, and one of them smiled as they high fived each other.

"Nothin'!"

"Oh, yeah, ri-"

"HEADS _UP, _MAG!" I ducked underneath another barrage of metal, pavement, and various other things I didn't think I wanted to know about. The battlefield was moving towards the wharfs (which was oddly convenient), and Violet whizzed past me again, skidding to a stop almost five feet away. She made a face and shouted, "Damn it, almost had it!"

I glared at her and shouted back, "Language, young lady!" Violet looked up and blinked in surprise, before going 'oh!' and skidding off on her skates.

"Hey, Mag, what was that about keeping your eyes peeled again?" Sebastian (or Erastus, I couldn't tell) said from the rooftops, and I winced in chagrin. I'd tried to beat that into them, to be attentive, but I couldn't say that I did too well in that area either. I was too easily distracted by flying debris, dead bodies, and dust in my eyes. I whipped Wire around me again, creating a swirling tornado of metal. I heard laughing as my brothers went around swinging their Censers and letting loose their noxious fumes (from both hind end _and _Innocence, knowing them). I rolled my eyes as I heard the distinctive noise of flatulence.

"Ha! Your brothers are a riot, Mag," Lavi said cheerfully as he blocked a barrage of bullets with his hammer. I nearly stumbled to the side as he seemed to magically pop up next to me. My eye twitched, and I stuttered, "D-don't do th-that!" Suddenly, I was dive bombed by a three year old, and I had to duck as she lay waste to the street. I opened my eyes cautiously, the smell of burning hair in my nose. I touched my eyebrows... and they fell into powder at my fingertips. The twitch in my eye was getting worse.

"AVAAA!" Lavi laughed at me, which was followed by a yelp as I whipped him in the butt. For once I actually hit my target without snapping myself in the process. I was proud, for at least a moment. That was, of course, before another wave of Akuma engulfed the street with their mayhem, screeching, and overall terrormongering. Not my best day ever, of course, but a girl had to do what a girl had to do.

We made pretty short work of them, surprisingly. Yes, there were a few close scrapes, like when Violet just about fell off the roof of a building, and Lily's hair nearly caught fire because Ava's aim wasn't exactly the best. The twins, as always, got into trouble together by accidentally wrapping themselves up in the chains from their Innocence, and then getting tangled _together _and falling into a trashcan headfirst. Kanda lost about a quarter of his hair. He wasn't happy about that. Lavi... didn't suffer anything at all, other than maybe a bruise on his hind end considering me and my vengeful tactics. Lucky bastard. Allen came out none the worse for wear except maybe a new perspective on the dauntless young woman he would now have to help monitor and teach.

At the very least, we were not covered in green slime that smells slightly like funky shoes, rotten eggs, and oregano. It has happened before. The only person I have to blame is Violet, because she had the yen to attempt drowning an Akuma in a vat of rotten tomato sauce. That was the last time I let her ever lead a mission.

"Where's Mr. Fluffins? Where did my baby go? Ohmigodohmigodohmigod he was killed, and now he's in the rubble somewhere, and we have to go find him, AND-" Violet delivered a sharp slap to Lily's face as she went into histrionics. Normal routine for our family, actually. She did this every time the cat disappeared.

"Calm down, idiot, he's fine like always. See, there he is now," Violet said calmly, as emotional as a teaspoon. The cat sauntered over and rubbed her leg, no doubt shedding black and white fur all over her pants. Lily snatched him up and rubbed her face in his fur while making baby words and cooing noises, to which Violet made a face. She was more of a dog person. Kanda only let out a 'tch' while the rest of the venders ventured out onto the streets again cautiously, no doubt wondering if that was the most exciting thing they'd see that day. They probably thought they could live with a little less excitement, because the Akuma happened to be scaring off customers.

"Here, could I have about seventy of those?" Allen's voice piped up from behind me, going to one of the coconut dessert carts. The guy looked like he'd just won the lotto, became the king of England, and got a free trip around the world.

So maybe that was a lie. Exorcists happened to get pretty hungry after a fight.

I rubbed the sweat off my forehead, the dirt already soaking into my pores. No doubt, my hair was a massive cloud around my head. My face would break out tomorrow. I probably forgot to bring underwear with me on this trip. But hey, that didn't matter, considering I was alive and in one piece. Ava played in the dirt, clapping her hands and making dust clouds. She promptly lit them on fire, and I made a disapproving noise at her. She looked up at me innocently, and I lifted an eyebrow menacingly. She rolled her eyes and crossed her pudgy little arms. I've got to stop leaving her with Violet.

"Are we ready to go yet?" Sebastian asked. Erastus whined, "Yeah, it's hot, and I wanna go to the boats already."

"There are supposed to be smokin' babes on Phuket!"

"Yeah, dude, seriously. Like, smokin' so bad, the fire department's on call because of them."

At this mention, Lavi's eyes lit up like New York at Christmas time, and I couldn't help but deadpan. Boys will be boys, I guess.

An hour later, we were all piled onto the ferry, sharing it with about a dozen other people trying to get to the island. Only thirty minutes into the journy, and I'd already thrown up twice. I hadn't even eaten anything.

"Is she always like this on boat trips?" Lavi whispered to Erastus. Yeah, like I couldn't hear him. He didn't know I have Mommy-Ears. They hear everything. _E-ver-y-thing._

"Uh, yeah, actually. She can't stand boat trips. They make her woozy. It goes away after a few days, but she throws up for the first day or two."

"Oh, really? Our first mission happens to be on a boat trip, actually."

Oh, joy.


	3. A Day At The Beach

The first day on the island was pretty normal. We got there by midday, and I felt as if I'd been tossed around in a washing bin for a while because my stomach refused to be convinced that it was no longer on the water. Violet, Erastus, and Sebastian all immediately got soaked in the water, along with Tip, while Ava played in the white sand. Lily had brought a picnic basket full of goodies. She also managed to somehow whisk off _wine glasses, plates, forks, knives, and spoons_ without cracking anything. However, she managed to forget an umbrella. I ended up hiding like a vampire underneath all of the pine trees lined up next to the beach while Lavi and Lily had the time of their lives snacking on jelly deserts. She had the innate ability to keep herself from getting sunburned without the use of parasols or sunblock (of which I forgot as well). Allen built a massive sandcastle for Ava. Kanda was...well, doing what I was doing, but not because he wanted to stay out of the sun. More like he was just being antisocial. I don't blame him, considering Erastus and Sebastian were kicking sand at each other, and Violet was dumping seawater on their heads by skating over the waves and causing mini-tsunamis.

It was needless to say, they were eventually pooped. Our reservation had already been made for a nearby resort with separate bungalows for everyone. Thank the Lord on high, because I don't think I would've liked to draw straws to see who would sleep in the same hut as Mr. I've-Got-A-Sword-Up-My-Ass. Not that I would like to sleep in the same hut as Lavi either. His...exploits in the area of pranking had already been well versed in the Order. And paired with Erastus and Sebastian, it was a match made in heaven (or hell, depending on which side you were on). After playing several games of charades in which everybody made a fool of themselves, most of us went to sleep. I say most because Lily screamed at midnight when the twins managed to fill her bed with worms and was forced to sleep with Violet. I could hear them giggling until two in the morning, so I didn't exactly get my beauty rest either.

Which I didn't know I would need until I heard a knock on my door scarcely two hours later at four 'o clock.

"Mmm. I didn't order room service. Go away. Violet's hut is two doors down. Find the giggling girls, you can't miss 'em," I groaned, flopping over. There was some more rapid knocking, and I groaned louder, pulling the pillow over my head. Couldn't I just have _one _good night's sleep? One, that's all I ask! I squeezed my eyes shut, and I curled up in a ball. Suddenly, the door crashed into the adjacent wall, and I looked up with a groggy, less than happy glare. I made a loud noise of disapproval as the lights were flipped on. I covered my eyes, blinded, and I dove back under the covers.

"GO AWAY. I DON'T NEED THIS SORT OF TORTURE!" I shouted. It was probably Erastus or Sebastian, and I wouldn't have been surprised if it was Violet coming to jump on my bed either. Suddenly, something grabbed my ankle from under the covers, and I was rudely pulled off my mattress. I screamed as I gripped the sheets, astonished beyond comprehension as I fell on the floor. I looked up, my eyes wide, into Kanda's angry, irritated expression, and I smiled nervously and did a finger wave.

"Um...hi? Now, could you please tell me what the hell is going on?" I asked in a sweet voice. Crap, was that him banging on the door? Wait, why would he be banging on the door? Why would he be banging on _my _door? Was there an attack or something? He dropped my ankle and let out a loud, "Tch." I stood up hastily, rearranging my clothes considering I wasn't wearing too much. Usually I didn't have to worry about it considering that my family were the only people around whenever I was asleep. They were used to my frizzy, out of control bedhead, tanktops, and pajama pants. It was way too hot to wear night gowns, unless they were exceptionally thin. He headed back towards the door and said over his shoulder in a terse manner, "Get dressed. We're going running."

My jaw must've managed to dislocate itself because it hit the floor. "But...it's four in the morning. Why are we going running?" He pinched the bridge of his nose and said, "Because you're the slowest bimbo I've ever seen. If I'm working with you, you're going to learn how to haul ass out of a danger zone. Right now, Komui could probably catch up to you in a foot race, _without _his caffeine fix of the day." I felt like crying. I thought this was my vacation! Why does this always happen to me? Wait, maybe he was doing this to the rest of them, too...

"What about Violet and the twins? Ava? Lily?" I asked as I shoved a pair of actual pants over my other pair. He stood in the door way, leaning against the jamb and staring out towards the beach. He answered, "Not my problem." My eye twitched. So it was only me who was going running at four in the morning? Maybe he wouldn't make me run that far. After all, he did say that I was really slow.

"We're running ten kilometers. Bring good shoes and meet me at the beach. Climb back in bed, and I'll drag you in a boat and dump you in the water." I shivered as he walked off. I didn't doubt that he'd do it, either. I sniffled. Again, I ask, why me? I got dressed, made my hair manageable, and put on some suitable shoes. I walked out onto the beach, noticing that the sun wasn't even up yet. I almost started bawling. It was dark, it was cold, the sea was at high tide, and I was going running with a sociopath who liked to dump sleeping women into the ocean. My day was going just great.

We started off at a brisk pace along the beach, and it didn't seem like it was too bad...for the first five minutes. An hour later, I was about to drop dead, my chest feeling like someone was shoving napalm down my bronchial tubes and into my lungs. The next hour, I was fixing to dig my grave. Thirty minutes later I collapsed on the sand, and I said my goodbyes to the world as I closed my eyes and waited for good ol' Reaper to come and get me out of here. I was nudged by something stick-ish, and I cracked an eye open. Kanda stood over me, his arms crossed and his sword in its sheath in his hand. For once, I wasn't afraid of him. I was mad at him. I was _really _mad at him. He made me run a full five kilometers in nearly an hour! I hadn't even reached ten yet.

"Leave me alone. Let me die in peace," I groaned, still panting. He didn't give an answer, and I closed my eyes. I heard the crunch of displaced sand, and I opened an eye again. Kanda was gone, but he was still here somewhere. I scrambled to turn over and get on my knees, though as I looked up, I could see he was sitting on the ground uphill from me. I blinked and panted, asking, "What are you doing over there? I thought you went back." Kanda rolled his eyes before narrowing them as he stared, and the sudden strength I had in fury left me like a traitorous dog in sight of a bath. I quaked, and he answered, "I'm waiting for you to get back up." I dropped to the sand in disappointment. I wasn't getting out of this. I shakily stood back up after getting my legs under me, and I stretched. He stood up and began running again at a quick pace. I followed him, but a sharp pain in my stomach made me stop after about another ten minutes of running.

Very suddenly, I ran towards the water. I started heaving everything there was in my stomach, which luckily wasn't a whole lot. After nothing more would come out of my stomach, I washed my face and started heading towards dry land again. I rubbed my face, feeling ill, and I sat down in the sand. Kanda had already stopped, and he was heading back for me. I lay on the sand, not caring that I got any more in my hair. I couldn't run anymore. If I did, I think my legs would liquify, and I'd get washed out with the tide. He stood over me in the predawn light, obvious disapproval on his face. I looked at him wearily, and I threw an arm over my eyes.

"Kill me if you want. I don't really care. I can't run any more as it is," I groaned, still panting. I coughed, doubling over as I put my arms around my stomach as it attempted to secede from the rest of me via esophagus. After I was done, I could hear the crunch of sand under foot as he walked past me. I looked up to see that he was headed back the way we'd come. I frowned and attempted to stand, my legs wiggling out of control. I'd never hated running more in my life. Now, I loathed it with every fiber of my being. He wasn't going to make us run back, was he? He looked back at me and he said, "We're walking back. I don't want you throwing up every couple steps. You won't get anything done. We're done running anyways. We're at nine and a half kilometers at two and a half hours. I expect you to be able to run that in a third of the time by the time I'm done with you." He continued to walk towards the resort at a clipped walking pace, and I rolled around in the sand while groaning in frustration. A third of that time... He wants me to be able to run ten kilometers in an hour?

I despaired as I thought about it. No way... no how... he wasn't working with clay, here! He was working with glue that didn't want to do anything but slip and slide everywhere! After much laboring and walking, I could see the resort ahead. I'd almost caught up with the Japanese Exorcist in front of me. Finally, after running after him a bit, I managed to catch up and fall in step next to him. There was several minutes of awkward silence as we were caught up in our own thoughts, and I cast a quick sidelong glance at him. He really was a mean looking person, his eyebrows furrowed together all the time... Didn't his mother ever tell him that if he kept his face that way it'd stick for the rest of his life? Apparently not, because the only two expressions I'd ever seen so far was angry and angrier.

When we got back, it was still sort of dark, but at the least the sun was beginning to rise. The resort people were bringing out the buffet breakfast over at a separate pavilion, and I salivated, just thinking about eating something, _anything. _I was close to heading over and see what they had, but Kanda hooked a finger to the back of my collar and dragged me away.

"Ah! Ah! I thought we were done?" Kanda raised an eyebrow and muttered, "Tch." I'm think that was his stock answer for...well, everything. As I walked, I could see that Violet was asleep through her window, Lily knocked out as well in a chair. The twins were up and at 'em, but only because they were practicing some of their wall jumps. They were aspiring to be urban gymnasts, doing flips and jumping up tall buildings. It scared the crap out of me, but they managed to do it with minimal damage to themselves or property, which was more than I could say for Violet. Ava was, of course, asleep in Allen's lap in his hut, seeing as she must've walked over mistaking it for mine. Lavi was leaning against a pole, looking pretty amused as I glared at him.

"Soooo, how was your run?" he asked congenially with a big smile, and I had the urge to attack him. He knew about this? AND HE DIDN'T BOTHER TELLING ME? I jabbed a finger in his direction, spluttering, "Why...you little... I should... I'm going to-"

"Disembowel him later. We have work to do," Kanda said, dragging me away for the second time. I was beginning to feel like a dog, and his finger happened to be a leash. At the moment, in very dog-like fashion, I wanted to gnaw off his finger and run off to my bed and sleep for the next one hundred years. I grumbled something under my breath, and he shot me a look. I sullenly looked off in a different direction. He headed towards the tennis courts, which really weren't much more than two massive patches of grass with a net. He sat on the ground and said, "You're going to do twenty push ups, twenty pull ups, stretches, and jump this net thirty times." I groaned as I leaned back and lay in the grass. I was poked with the sword sheath again, and I swatted it away.

"Why am I doing this again?" I asked wearily. Kanda only answered, "You're my student. Exercise is essential." After being hit over the head with the sheath, I managed to get back up and start doing what he said. During my first ten push ups, I heard sniggering, and I looked towards a stand of trees. I frowned, but was suddenly whacked in the back of the head with the sheath.

"OUCH! Would you stop doing that?"

"Focus." I sucked in a breath through my nose and let it out slowly. Breathe. Remember to breathe. Forgetting to breathe was a very bad thing, and I didn't want to collapse out of nowhere. Kanda'd have to wake me up again my hitting me on the head with his sheath...only harder. I did another ten push ups, and the sniggering happened again. This time I stood up and shouted at the trees, shouting, "I HEAR YOU, YOU IDIOTS!" I soon found myself on the ground as I choked. Kanda had his sheath at me neck, cutting off my air as he growled, "I _told _you to _focus _already!"

"Oh, yoooooo~hoooooo~!" I squirmed out of Kanda's headlock, looking around. There were the twins and Violet. Wait, since when did Violet get up at six in the morning? I realized that it was probably seven, and already she was holding a badminton racquet. Allen was standing some ways off from her, holding a birdie and another racquet. The twins were also holding racquets. They were playing badminton, and here I was working like a pack horse!

* * *

Violet laughed as she watched Mag do push ups. Mag had hardly ever done an athletic thing in her life. She was just too much of an academic and workaholic to actually do anything as demeaning as run around the block a few times. Watching her sweat like she was now was oddly entertaining, though Violet felt a spike of pity. She herself wasn't exactly the best person when it came to that. She winced as Mag was repeatedly hit in the head with Kanda's scabbard, though each time she technically did deserve it. Violet snickered before something collided with her own head. She was stunned for a moment when something landed at her feet. She looked down and realized that it was a birdie.

"Hey, Violet! Keep your eyes open, 'kay?" She looked to Allen, who was smiling and waving his racquet. She smirked as she picked up the birdie. She was the _beast _of badminton. She'd creamed Lily and the twins singlehandedly. She was about to serve it, but the minute it left her hand into the air, it was snatched by a gloved hand. She blinked as Lavi leaned towards her with an evil gleam in his one eye.

"Nah-ah-ah, playing the usual way would be too easy," Lavi said malevolently. The twins were visibly backing up, sensing that they were about to be subjected to something they probably weren't going to enjoy too much. Allen caught them before they could go anywhere, though, practically clotheslining both with his arm. They landed on their backs, eyes swirling around like pinwheels as proverbial birds fluttered around their heads. Allen pulled back Crown Clown, the bladed fingers clacking as he rubbed his hands maniacally.

"Mahahahaha!" he laughed, the aura behind him suddenly turning black and malevolent. Violet's eye twitched as she stared at him. What sort of teacher did she have? She gulped slightly before she made a run for it, but Lavi already had her covered, too. His massive Hammer was in the way, blocking her route of escape down next to the shore. She deflated visibly as she looked up at the giant wall of Hammer, and she looked at Lavi with a pleading look.

"But I thought this was supposed to be a relaxing vacation," she whined. Lavi laughed, and she fumed, "What?" Lavi leaned down to her level and said, "There is no such thing as vacation for an Exorcist! You should already know that!" Violet hmphed, crossing her arms and sitting in the grass like an irate toddler as the twins attempted to get back up on their feet.

"The way we're playing badminton today is with our Innocence. I want to work on accuracy. Now, I know that this birdie is a lot smaller than an Akuma bullet, but that just makes it easier when you come up against the real thing," Allen explained when everyone was done with their pouting, whining, cajoling, and overall being immature. He took his racquet and patted it into the air.

"I'll be using a racquet because I don't have to block using my glove. I use my cloak instead, but you guys aren't there yet with your Innocence. You'll have to work at both blocking and dodging. Anyone who gets hit by the birdie besides on their Innocence is out! HAI!" All this time he'd been bouncing the birdie, but he suddenly smashed it over the net, causing the twins to squeal like girls as it hit one of them in the eye. Lavi deflated, scratching his face in an embarrassed fashion as he said, "Ne, you're supposed to _hit _the thing with your Innocence, not your face." Violet, who'd had enough, took the birdie and threw it in the air. She activated her Innocence, her shoes suddenly growing razor sharp blades underneath as the rest of the Innocence laced up to her knees, and she hit it with a neat _thwack _over the net. Allen had to fight to get to it as the twins were still lagging behind a bit. However, with the game started, they seemed to get their wits about them as they picked up their Censers and swung them in circles, ready to swat the birdie over the net. They went back and forth a bit until...

Lavi suddenly took up his hammer, and it grew to about the size of an elephant as he prepared to get at the little white thing. It almost appeared that the thing was quaking as it sailed through the air towards the Bookman Junior, and Allen frowned at Lavi, his shoulders drooping.

"Lavi, that's cheating!"

"No it's not! You said Innocence, and that's what I'm using!" The birdie was hit so hard, it seemed to disappear. Well, I say seem to disappear because they couldn't find it afterwards.

"Maybe you hit it all the way to China," Sebastian suggested, shrugging as he said so, completely serious. Erastus snickered and said, "Yeah, some old lady in China's probably getting hit with a little birdie _right no-_" As if from the hand of God, the birdie hit Erastus on the top of his noggin dead center, and he blinked as he realized that he'd been struck.

"OOOOOH, YOU'RE OUT!" Violet pointed her finger at him and laughed. She kicked it back into the air hacky-sack style, and she nearly came close to getting Sebastian with it. The other twin let out a loud shout of surprise, and he hit it back. They went back and forth at a lightning fast pace, and Allen shouted, "That's what I'm talking abo- WHOA!" He hit the 'bullet' back at them, and they were at it again, a friendly sibling war.

Or not so friendly. Violet finally won, but only because she bounced the birdie high into the air and tripped Sebastian, causing it to land on his stomach. He groaned as he lay on the ground in defeat, Violet putting one foot on his chest Captain Morgan style as she flashed a victory sign.

"Oh yeah. Don't mess with the V," she said, and Sebastian rolled his eyes.

"Ham."

"Hey, you don't have any room to talk! I've got you underneath my foot!" She deactivated her Innocence, and she shoved her foot down, causing Sebastian to cough. Allen groaned inwardly to himself as they bickered. He'd have to get used to it. He himself had never had siblings to argue with, so he wasn't in the habit of debating over nonsensical things. Lavi trotted over and said, "Well, so much for that game. What now?" Allen sighed to himself. They'd passed a good half hour or so. There really wasn't much else to do but turn them loose. Allen knew that he'd have to keep these guys entertained if he wanted to train them at all. Traditional methods probably wouldn't work.

Allen suddenly blanched completely white and shivered, sweating bullets as he remembered his own training. Cross... could be vicious... he didn't even bother to teach him! He just threw him into battle and ordered him to stay alive! "Ne, Allen? You okay?" Lavi asked, seeing the stricken look on his face. Violet approached the two Exorcists and asked, "So, what now? Do we get to go out on the beach, or what?" Allen snapped out of his little personal nightmare before blinking at her in response. He finally said, "O-oh! Um, I was thinking we could try some trust exercises." Violet's smile grew wide as she copied, "Trust exercises?"

"Sounds like fun!" Erastus shouted.

* * *

"Allen, this doesn't sound like fun!" Erastus shouted. He was facing towards a high cliff, and he could hear waves crashing underneath him against the rocks. He gulped as he realized that he probably wasn't too far away from the sea... and, invariably, several pointy, sharp, horribly painful-looking rocks. He didn't really know, considering he was actually blindfolded. He put his hands out in front of him, and he grabbed the nearest thing. Of course, the nearest thing happened to be Violet's-

"PERVERT!"

SLAP.

Erastus was now turned back around towards a path that led down a slope that ran its course out towards a small finger of the island. His twin, Sebastian, was also blindfolded next to him. Both looked ridiculously concerned as Allen explained this next training 'game.'

"Okay, you guys have to learn how to trust each other without thinking about what the other person says. If you take too long in following another person's directions, there's a good likelihood that you could be shot or worse. So, what I'm going to do is tell you where to go. Lavi and Violet will be right behind you, and if either of you end up falling over the edge, they'll pull you back over. I can do the same with Crown Clown, okay?" Allen asked. His white hair ruffled from the sea wind, and he winced as spray got into his eyes. Looking at Lavi and Violet, both rambunctious teenagers were ready with a cocky salute each. Allen sighed to himself, hoping to the Good Lord that this actually worked. He'd hate to have to explain to Magnolia that her twin brothers were both somewhere out to sea with a couple of broken bones while swimming out into water that was notorious for having sharks. The big type.

"Now, we're going to see who can get to the checkpoint first. There's a flag down there, and the first to get it wins. You can't take off your blindfolds. Violet, you're with Sebastian. Lavi, you take Erastus. When I say 'go-'" Both twins were off like a rocket down the path. Allen slapped his forehead. He hadn't actually said 'go' yet, but at least they'd gone. As they raced down the path, he could hear them stumbling and cursing. He followed close behind.

"Go left! Now right! Watch out for that branch!" Suddenly, Erastus went head over heels, slamming into a tree. He groaned as he went to lift up his blindfold and see what he'd hit, but Lavi gave him a knock over the head with his hammer.

"Hey! No peeking." Sebastian had a good lead, but he kept tripping over his feet. Violet was already shouting at him for going in the wrong direction.

"Go back! You dope, you were supposed to turn _left, _not _right._"

"Like I don't know that!" Sebastian suddenly stopped, realizing that Allen hadn't said anything in a while. He wondered what was taking the white-haired fella so long. Violet asked, "What are you waiting for? Keep going!" Sebastian shook his head, his black shaggy mop of hair swinging as he did so. He held up a finger and said, "Shhhh! I'm listening!" Violet rolled her eyes. Of course, she was more the type to run into something and to hell with the consequences, so she didn't much care for directions. She got enough of them from Mag. There was another moment of silence when Allen suddenly choked out, "Whatever. You. Do. Don't. ...Move." He'd gotten very quiet for some reason. Violet frowned, and she asked, "Um... why?"

Allen swallowed hard as he said, "Don't panic, but there's a tarantula on your-" Sebastian immediately screamed girlishly as he tried to get the aforementioned arachnid off of his person. Violet deadpanned as she watched her sibling run through the brush and rocks before tripping and face-planting. Well, where ever the spider was now, it was gone.

_"Kraaaawk, _Erastus fell over. _Kraaaawk, _the twins're idiots." From above, Allen could hear Parley squawking insults about both twins, some of which seemed too imaginative to be mere repitition. Violet looked down the island, and saw that Erastus had recovered and was now making his way to the checkpoint with Lavi's instructions. She grabbed Sebastian and put him on his feet, shouting, "GET YOUR ASS MOVING, IDIOT! HE'S GOING TO BEAT US!" As both of them disappeared amid the brush and the rocks, Allen realized that he was no longer the one giving directions. Lavi and Violet were. Well, at least he didn't have to follow both of them everywhere.

In a photo finish, both boys collided with the flag. They scrambled for it blindfolded until finally, Erastus took hold of the little triangle of cloth. He ripped off his blindfold to let out a loud 'haha!' only to scream and drop the 'flag' as he realized that he'd, instead, grabbed one of Mag's panties. Sebastian took off his own blindfold and stared at the pair of undershorts before laughing.

"How'd those get there?"

"Well, it helps that you guys are really slow." All five teenagers looked up to see Mag leaning against a tree with the flag in hand. Her own blindfold was hung around her neck, and Kanda wasn't far off behind her in the shadows, looking very ominous and creepy as he looked off towards the ocean. Mag came out from underneath the shade of the tree to wave the flag and say, "Beat'cha." Violet and the twins groaned as they realized that she was probably going to gloat for a few days about this. They didn't even know they were competing with her!

"How did you even manage to get here in the first place?" Mag pursed her lips and rolled her eyes heavenward as if to find the answer there. She 'hmmmed' before saying, "Well, let's just say that if I didn't run fast enough, I'd probably end up with a sword in my back." All eyes suddenly turned to Kanda, looking wide and horrified. Even Lavi let out a low whistle. Kanda only muttered 'tch' before returning to watching the sea.

"So...how'd we do?" Violet asked regardless. Allen scratched the back of his head as he sheepishly vacillated, "Well, Sebastian kinda did disobey me... and Erastus tried to cheat..."

_"Kraawwwk, _and Lavi carried him half way. _Kraaawk._" Allen blinked as he looked up at the parrot, who looked at Allen with a cocked head. "_Kraaaawk, _swab the deck." Allen turned to the redhead, who currently was trying to sneak off unnoticed... and failing.

"Lavi, did you seriously carry Erastus?" Allen asked. Mag lifted an eyebrow at both boys. They looked at each other with guilty looks before disappearing into the underbrush. Violet shouted, "YOU LITTLE SHITE, I'M GOING TO GET YOU!" She disappeared as well, and Sebastian sighed as he muttered, "I'll go and make sure she doesn't kill him." By now, the only people left were Allen, Mag, and Kanda. Allen turned sharply to both Exorcists and asked, "All right, how did you actually do it?" Mag grinned wide as she walked over to the edge of the rocks, showing a little dinghy with paddles. She had actually been surprised when Kanda agreed to the little prank, seeing as she hadn't pegged him for the type to actually do something quite that... mischievous. Still, he said that if she was going to do it, she was the one paddling. He was just along for the ride.

"So, you wanna head back to the hotel, get a bite to eat, something like that?" Mag asked nonchalantly. Allen cast a glance at the boat. He asked hesitantly, "But, what about the-"

"We'll take the boat there. It's a lot faster, especially if Kanda's helping with the rowing. Am I _right?" _She cast a twitchy-eyed glance at the samurai, who let out a burst of annoyed air, causing part of his bangs to fly up for a moment. He looked off and grumbled, "Yeah, yeah, I'll row." Mag smiled triumphantly. Allen frowned as he let his gaze flicker between the two. Behind him, the sounds of conflict got a little louder as Violet suddenly ran across an open patch of rocks after a screaming Erastus.

"I'M GOING TO TEAR YOU LIMB FROM LIMB! YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE YOU WISH YOU WERE NEVER BORN!"

"I didn't mean it, I swear! Your feet are beautiful, I was kidding! Don't hurt me!"

Allen turned his attention away from the chase and back to Mag.

"How did you-"

Kanda answered before he could finish his question. "She bet me. She won. I row. Enough said." He got into the boat, impatiently staring at the other two. Allen quickly hopped in. It wasn't every day someone got to make Kanda do their bidding. He guessed it must have something to do with a woman's charm as Mag sat across from him and picked up the other paddle.

* * *

Ava swung her feet behind as she lay on her stomach, overlooking a good view of the fishing boats out at sea. Suddenly, she heard footsteps, and she looked behind her. The little brunette was suddenly aware that there was a crown of flowers on her head, and she strained to see who had put them there. Lily towered over her, though that wasn't very surprising considering Lily was a lot taller. There was a smile on Lily's face as she leaned forwards, and Ava gave a small, clumsy wave with one pudgy hand. Lily sat in the grass next to her, folding her legs underneath her as she looked out over the sea.

"So. What do you think about going to training?" Lily asked. She always talked plainly with Ava, same as with Mag. Ava had above-average intelligence for such a little young person. It was a shame she didn't ever speak. Still, she managed communication by roundabout means as she cocked her head to the side, her face never changing in expression. She looked out to sea, and she moved her hands in a sort of weighing motion. Lily nodded and said, "So-so? Yeah, me too. I mean, I love Mag, but..." Ava made the motion of putting on thing here, and another thing over there. Lily nodded. Both of them were quiet as they listened to the wind before Lily asked, "Are you going to miss Mag? Or the Twins? Violet?" Ava thought about it for a little while...

And then she held up her first finger, meaning Mag. First finger always meant Mag. She hesitantly nodded before stopping and holding still, signifying indecision. She held up the two fingers on her other hand, meaning the twins. She shook her head enthusiastically, and Lily laughed. Even though Ava could understand what they said very well, it didn't mean that she also thought that way, either. Her picture of the future was very two dimensional. She didn't take into account anything she may miss about the Twins, or the fact that she _may _miss them. She only saw the shallowest layer of paint. As she grew up, Lily had no doubt she'd probably understand the other layers much better. Lily's serious train of thought vanished, though, as if by magic when Ava lifted her fourth finger, signifying Violet. Ava nodded very, very slowly, showing she was hesitant to answer, but she was pretty sure that was what she meant.

Lily wasn't surprised. Ava looked up to Violet after all, considering she was brash and bold. Ava trailed after Vi a lot, merely for the fact that Ava figured that was where all the action was. Ava turned back to the ocean, ending the 'conversation.' Lily knew that she'd ignore her for a little while, just like she always did after a long period of answering. Though she didn't show it, Ava was very easy to be irritable, but it may have just been her three-year-old's nature to be so. Lily pulled out her flute, and she played a small tune before trilling between two notes. A bird flew through the trees to come to a hover over them before landing in front of Lily. She smiled as she played another series of notes, and the bird hopped one way, and then hopped the other. Several more birds joined, and several more after that. Lily soon saw that she had a veritable flock in front of her, and her eyebrows flew upwards as she realized she wasn't sure what to do now. She played another tune, ascending a scale. All of the birds flapped their wings, and feathers flew. Ava winced as she waved her hands in the air to bat away the feathers, and she turned her eyes towards Lily, showing discontent. Her little hands balled up into fists, and Lily quickly played a very low, very quiet trill, and the birds stopped.

"Sorry," she said, and the birds suddenly flew away all at once in a raucous. Some of them stayed behind to peck at Lily's hair and clothes in annoyance for being controlled, however briefly, and Lily swatted them away with girlish sounds of fright. She huffed as they flew off, and she started to head back towards the resort. Ava continued to look out at sea, and her eyes narrowed for a moment as she looked out.

Suddenly, her eyes turned gold, her pupils elongating to slits as she invoked her Innocence. Mag had told her to quit doing this, but... she enjoyed both eavesdropping and spying. Ava could see that there were lights somewhere in the distance, on another part of the island far from their own. She frowned to herself as she realized that the bursts of light looked awfully familiar, but she could place it.

"Ava! It's time to go! Come on, it's going to get dark! WHOA!" There was the sound of crashing brush, and Ava looked back dully. She could guess what had happened. Ava got up unsteadily before toddling off after the sounds of a crying Lily. Had she listened hard, the lights would've flashed again along with the high, small sounds of people screaming from far away.


	4. A Storm Approaches

I lounged on the couch in my room with sweet bliss. I'd partially enjoyed the boat ride back to the hotel, seeing as it was the first time that day that I'd gotten to do absolutely nothing, but after that Kanda had me work like a poor pack mule. Lunges, jumping jacks, even jump rope exercises – if there was a physical activity to be had, he made me do that and ten times more. Every time one of my siblings passed by, I received one of two different sorts of glances – pity or hilarity. It wasn't fair, but, as I like to remind my siblings, life isn't fair.

Because they were lucky. They had Allen and Lavi for teachers, which meant fun games like tag and hide-and-seek. Their idea of a trust exercise was falling backwards off a three foot tall platform in to the waiting arms of five fellow Exorcists.

Kanda's idea of a trust exercise was blindfolding me and dropping me off a cliff. Literally.

Of course, there was a boat waiting to catch me, but that boat happened to be full of garbage. Garbage is never a good substitute for a softer, less realistic medium. Not only is it smelly, it's not comfortable either. I grumbled all the way back to the hotel. Kanda was unfazed by my less-than-pleased glare, and then it was right back to work for me.

It finally hit five o' clock, and Kanda released me from the torture called 'ten laps around the pool'. I knew how to doggy paddle, and that was about it. It took me nearly half an hour to do one lap.

Of course, Kanda told me to quit whining and get to swimming. I had to admit, after I got focused, I definitely didn't notice how long it took me to do the other nine. I guess there is some method to his madness, but that didn't mean I had to like it.

Thankfully, the swimming happened after the garbage diving, which meant I was fairly clean by the time I got back to my hut. Tip nosed his way up to me with his clay-ball nose, and I smiled, actually smiled, for the first time that day. Of course, nothing could beat Erastus and his look after grabbing my panties off that pole, but a dog is man's best friend, after all…

The pets had been split up accordingly; I had Tip, Ava had Parley, and Vi had Mr. Fluffikins. I didn't mind having Tip with me, seeing as it made me feel a little better about sleeping by myself, but he sure as hell did absolutely _nothing _when Kanda came to drag me out of bed this morning. True to his useless nature, he'd slept through the entire encounter, only barking _after_ Kanda brought me back around five. He wasn't going to be much use to me against that samurai anyhow, considering he'd whacked him on the nose the minute Tip had gone for a good sniff to the crotch. For a guy I hadn't pegged as an animal person, he certainly could predict dogs. Then again, it takes a dog to know a dog.

I sighed to myself, enjoying the relaxing feeling of letting my muscles flop. I wasn't exactly a bodybuilder, so I had lots of 'muscle' with which to droop. I entertained the idea of reading one of my Swedish novels, chewing over the idea in my head for a while, and I decided it wasn't worth the headache. I wanted to wake up tomorrow with at least _one _organ that didn't feel like it'd been tenderized using a croquet mallet studded with nails.

And, just as luck would have it, there was a knock on the door. I groaned to myself. I could almost bet that it was Kanda coming to torture me with more exercise. The word even tastes bad in my head. I was sick of physical activity. I slid off the couch and lay on the floor for a few moments, groaning. I honestly considered staying on the floor and letting him break down the door, but I knew that if I got up this would go a lot smoother. Well, at least as smooth as things can go with Mr. Grouchface.

"What?" I barked irritably as I yanked the door open. When he'd broken it down, he had pulverized the door knob and the lock. Someone had it fixed, luckily.

I stared, transfixed, as I came to the very slow realization that I wasn't looking up at a dour-faced Japanese Exorcist. Lavi blinked a single, glass-green eye at me, and my mouth went dry. Crap, crap, _crap, crap, crap, think, think, think Mag!_

"I, uh, I apologize, I-I-I-I've had-"

"A training day from hell? Don't worry about it. I'm just here as a relay from your siblings. Geez, I send them on a quick trip to the market, and they come back like they were stranded in the desert. They're really lazy, do you know that?" Lavi said, his tone good-natured. I sighed to myself, and I nodded as I rubbed my face wearily. Vi could probably sleep for fourteen hours straight, if you let her, and the twins had a habit of napping throughout the day. I've wondered if the two were narcoleptic, but I never had the money or the patience to take them to a doctor to get it checked out. Luckily they didn't just drop like flies in the middle of a battle. As if I didn't have enough to worry about.

"O-oh, sure, sure, um, what did you want to tell me?" I asked, trying to ignore the bad feeling that was burning a hole into my stomach. I'd been fighting it all day, that feeling of abject panic. Around men, even my own brothers, I tended to get sick with this strange feeling of fear, but it was bearable around the presence of others. When alone, the feeling was more akin to having an elephant dragging me into the ground rather than a large weasel.

"There's a Thai play going on somewhere down the road at a local theater, and they wanted to know if you'd come and… well, to quote them, 'foot the bill for them'," Lavi stated frankly. He snickered, and he said, "They're not too subtle about things, are they?" I rolled my eyes.

"Tell them that that's fine. I'll go ahead and pay for them," I answered in a rather distracted tone. I didn't like leaving the three of them there, though I was sure that Ava and Lily were going to tag along for the ride, but I was antsy enough as it was, considering I felt like someone had stuck me in a room full of eggshells all over the floor. I realized that I was staring at the ground, and I jerked my eyes to meet Lavi's, and in that instance I saw something in his face.

He'd looked… detached. It hadn't been a look of distraction – I knew those too well. My siblings tended to exhibit them more often than not, especially if I was trying to teach them some life lesson about fighting, functioning in society, or bathroom habits. His face, for a moment, was far away and disconnected. It wasn't like he wasn't in tune with the things going on around him, but it was close. He had reminded me of a lithograph for all of a moment, blank and completely cleaned of any sort of expression.

And then, just like that, he was his regular self. He shrugged with a slight smile the second he met my eyes, but I was warier now. His eye had looked like a little glass ball, and now they seemed more… concealed than before. It didn't seem sinister, but it did seem suspicious to me. And if there's anything that paranoid little me knows, it's suspicion. My gut was telling me something wasn't quite right here.

"Sure, sure. I'll report back to the kiddos in the next hut," Lavi chuckled, jerking a thumb over his shoulder in their direction. I felt a stab in my gut, and I realized I didn't want this guy around my family, but I had a feeling that was my paranoia getting to me. He wasn't dangerous. He was an Exorcist, a trusted man of God and a member of the Black Order. I shouldn't have to be worried…

And yet I was. Curse my paranoia. He could be perfectly normal, and this was just all in my head. Still, years of guarding my younger brothers and sisters from creepy people, most of who ended up being monsters straight out of the Devil's mind, had taught me a thing or two about listening to my gut. Still, I couldn't shake the feeling that perhaps I was wrong, and that I just needed to forget about the whole thing before I let it spiral out of control. I had a habit of doing that, much to Violet's annoyance, especially if it's hunch about somebody or a particular dislike for a color or noise I keep seeing or hearing.

"Okay. Thank you," I stated rather tersely, though I tried to be polite. I tried to summon a smile, but my smile was apparently out for lunch today. Lavi seemed to catch my sudden anxiety, and he gave a small finger wave. I was about to close the door when he said, "Wait, wait, wait, hang on a minute." I stopped it, peering through the crack with a pained expression. I barely managed to keep a groan from making its escape out my esophagus and into his ear.

"Are you going to be walking back?" Lavi asked, blinking. His face was carefully composed into a cheerful expression. I noted that his smile didn't really reach his eyes, but there was some genuine happiness there. It was buried, but it was there, and that eased me a little.

I realized I was staring, and I just about slammed my head in the doorframe. You'd think I'd never interacted with another human being before. I sighed, and I nodded.

"I probably will be, though I've been debating that in all honesty. I don't like… to leave them for long," I admitted. Boy howdy. My mind starts to take me down different avenues, which usually involves very outlandish deaths that implement various building collapses, animal attacks, accidents with kitchen supplies, etcetera. He chuckled to himself. He was humoring me, more than anything else. I did my best to keep from blurting out something I'd probably want to stab myself for saying later. Still, it had a note of genuine mirth, but it was… restrained. I found it odd that I was suddenly noticing all of this now. I would've figured that I'd notice all of this on the boat or while I was at dinner or something like that…

But then again, I've been trying to keep from having a sword stuck in me. I've been more than a little preoccupied with losing as much bodily fluid as possible under the Thai sun.

"Well… do you mind if I walk back with you? I keep hearing from some of the locals that a storm's coming, and I'd hate to let a student-to-be suddenly get lost in the downpour," Lavi suggested, and I was taken aback. I hadn't really taken him for the chivalrous type, but I hadn't exactly expected to be worked half to death either. I know I'm whining more than I should, but do I care? I consider it my chosen method of venting. It's better than what Lily does. She collects toenails, though she'd swallow live frogs wholesale before admitting it.

"Uh…Uh… I, uh…" I hated the fact that my vocabulary tends to contain lots of 'ums' and 'uhs' when my brain practically self-destructs during an encounter with a situation it doesn't really grasp. Luckily, my dog broke the self-destruct countdown by shoving past my leg and digging his nose straight into Lavi's crotch.

"_Tip_," I growled as I glared at the curious dog. He looked back at me with a pleading look, and Lavi laughed. This was a much, much more realistic laugh than that sad excuse for a chuckle he'd given me moments before. I felt the edges of my lips twitch into something like a smile, and Tip seemed to grin as his tongue lolled out of his mouth like a long, pink yoyo.

"Suck your tongue back in, Tip, you'll catch a bird if you keep your mouth open like that," I grumbled to Tip with a good rub to the head, and Tip fawned over my attention. He sidled up to me as I scratched behind his ears. His tail thumped, practically shaking the floor boards. Lavi walked nearer, probably to give Tip a good scratch and shake loose the nails in the floor, and I backed up instinctually, my eyes immediately flicking back up to him. He hesitated, noting my obvious wariness, and I looked away.

"I think it'd be a good idea if I walked back with you. Knowing me and my absolutely wonderful sense of direction, I'll probably end up somewhere in the jungle and never know how I got there," I quipped with a wry twist of the mouth, and the tension eased a little bit. At the least, I didn't feel like I was about to perform surgery using a rusted knife while blindfolded and on five different narcotics.

Lavi smiled, his uncovered eye crinkling. I suddenly felt a strange urge overpass me, and I have a habit of following my urges.

"Um, if you don't mind me asking, what's with the eyepatch? Is there something wrong?" After the words left my mouth, I felt a different urge – the one that entailed sewing my mouth shut. I was an idiot! He probably got it in a fight with an Akuma, or managed to acquire it after a nasty accident. That was something he didn't want to remember, much less talk about.

It was apparent from his face, anyhow. He immediately shut down. I could see a kind of rigidity in his calm facial expression, like he was slamming a steel door in my face. This was a subject he didn't want discussed.

"Um, actually, I do mind you asking, and I'm afraid I can't answer that. It's a bit of a private matter," he said, in that polite way that was meant to be rude without the lack of tact. The look on his face, the absolute _falseness _of his expression, actually chilled me. My sudden paranoia came back, and I nodded with all the stiffness of a rusted hinge.

"I'll, um, I'll see you later, then," I said coolly… or at least, what I thought was coolly but was probably more along the lines of 'scared out of her mind for absolutely no reason.' Lavi turned tail and left, and I observed him as he walked away. Somehow, he scared me more than Kanda did. At least with Kanda, he's honest as a fence post. He is what he is, and that's all there is to it. He may be a jerk, but he wasn't going to hide it.

Lavi was a wild card, and I wasn't fond of wild cards. He was too closed off. There had been something about his demeanor that had set off every alarm bell and red flag I had mentally on hand. The fact that his friendliness could be an act unnerved me in ways I couldn't understand. I closed the door to my hut, and I sat down on the couch. As luck would have it, I had no desire to sit still after my encounter with Lavi. I cursed my bad luck and my body's changeable wants, and I got up for a walk on the beach. It'd probably clear my mind and calm the rest of me down.

I'd just arrived to the beach when the twins ran up to me with anxious looks.

"Ava wants to talk to you about something, but we're not sure what. You're the only one who knows her hand signs well enough to figure out what she's saying," Erastus said slowly, his usually calm and unfazed face showing traces of anxiety. Interpreting languages had a lot to do with body language, more than most people realized. It didn't take me long to figure out that Erastus knew the gist of what Ava was trying to tell him, but he didn't trust his knowledge of her 'hand talk' to decipher it himself. Sebastian was uncharacteristically silent, and I stared at him.

"What, cat got your tongue?" I asked with a nervous smile, and he grimaced. He stuck out his tongue, and my eyes widened. I let out a small sound of distress as I stared at his decimated tongue. He gave a sheepish smile as he retracted the damaged appendage, and I choked out, "What happened? How the hell did you mangle your tongue like that? What did you do, stick a sea urchin in your mouth and start chewing?" He rolled his eyes.

"He had an accident on the way back from the market. He, uh, tripped, fell, got his tongue trapped between his teeth, the usual stuff, y'know?" Erastus said with a bright-eyed smile. I was less than convinced that it was 'the usual stuff'. I rubbed the bridge of my nose as I groaned, "Lavi didn't _tell _me that when he stopped by."

"We, uh, kind of told him not to tell you, actually," Erastus stated guiltily, and Sebastian looked away with an equally chagrined stared. I could practically feel my blood pressure rising to dangerous levels. The veins in my neck probably looked like wire cords. Part of my eyelid was twitching. If this kept up, I was going to be admitted to a hospital before long.

I let out a slow breath, and I said, "All right. I'll go and talk to Ava. Where is she, in her hut?" I asked wearily, rubbing my face. The two nodded in unison, both pointing two different directions (I glared at them – it was a trick of theirs that they found funny and I not at all) before pointing in the same direction, towards Ava and Lily's humble, no doubt newly flowery, abode. I headed in that direction, keeping in mind that I'd have to kidnap my brother and take him to a doctor, because heaven knew I'd practically have to drug him in order to get him to see any man of the medical profession. Giving them yearly check-ups were a nightmare…

It didn't take me long to get to the hut. As I'd predicted, there were flowers everywhere. Lily was like magic with flowers, both finding them and growing them. She had the magic touch when it came to anything that required sunlight and water to grow (a few that don't need either). I, on the other hand, had a brown thumb. I could probably kill a plant just by being in the same room. My presence was detrimental to plant life. I guess we evened each other out, because that meant there wasn't an overabundance of plants around where ever we went.

I knocked on the door, brushing past a magnolia tree that probably hadn't sprouted flowers until the night Lily'd arrived. There was the sound of stumbling and yelping before the door opened. Lily looked out with wide eyes, blinking her dark, nutmeg brown eyes before sweeping back a strand of dark, black hair behind one ear. She grinned at me in that vague way of hers and said, "Oh, hello Mag. I thought I just saw you at your hut." She put on a puzzled air for a moment, and I wasn't surprised. Lily could be… kind of slow sometimes.

"Yeah, I was. Hey, do you have Ava? Erastus and Sebastian - well, Erastus really - told me that she'd been hand-talking pretty fervently," I asked. Lily cocked her head to the side, her wavy black hair falling in a drifting sheet over her shoulder. She thought for a moment, looking somewhere over my shoulder, and for a second I thought she might've actually gotten lost within her own mind. I wouldn't put it past her.

"You know, Sebastian really screwed up his tongue. It's horrible. I wonder how he did that," she said suddenly, smiling at me. My shoulders drooped as if I was a deflating balloon, and I stared up at the sky. Some days I wonder whether God messed with her ears or her brain.

"Lily. _Ava._" The two words seemed to click in her mind, and her face brightened.

"Oh! Oh, right! I'm sorry, she's right in here. She was taking a nap, but… she woke up…" Lily wandered aimlessly into the hut, and I ducked underneath the magnolia growing outside her door. One of them fell on my head, and I brushed it off. Suddenly, I felt panicky as I noticed just how small this room was, not to mention all of the clutter. Every nerve within me screamed for me to pick up as much of the clothes off the floor and arrange everything back into some semblance of order, but I'd long quit trying to clean up after Lily. She had a system of her own, and it made her just as distressed for me to clean it as it distressed me to watch her make the mess.

I heard footsteps, and I looked over my shoulder. The glimpse of clean, blue sky eased my anxiety for a moment as I forgot the claustrophobic setting I occupied. Allen's white hair caught the light for all of a moment, and I frowned.

"They tell you too?" I shouted, and Allen nodded as he ran up to the hut.

"They told me what they knew, but they said that you'd have a better idea of what she was trying to say. They said that she talks with her hands?" Allen asked, questions practically flitting around him like hummingbirds with question marks for wings.

"Yeah, she, uh, she doesn't talk. She's voluntarily mute," I said, walking towards her room. I could tell it was hers because the door was scratched in a dozen different places around the bottom. She'd come to the habit of marking her rooms, and it'd cost me more money in property damages than I'd like to think about. She was… a handful. Keeping a half-dragon sister wasn't easy. I still wasn't sure how she managed to set things on fire when she was still so terrified of it, but perhaps instinct is stronger than fear.

I sighed. I wish my instinct were stronger, if that was the case. I practically lived by fear, most days.

I opened the door to find her staring out her window on her bed. The smaller pieces of furniture were turned over, and the bigger pieces had her telltale scratch marks. They looked like a massive cat had taken its claws to them, and I winced as I habitually racked up the property damages in my head. Luckily, Thai baht had less value than a British pound, so it shouldn't be hard to pay off.

"Why doesn't she talk?" Allen asked quietly as I stopped to look at her still, quiet form.

"A fire in Seville, where we lived when I was seventeen. A candle fell over, and she was trapped for a while. I got her out, but she's never spoken since. I don't even remember what her voice sounds like anymore," I explained quickly and softly. The very mention of Seville could send her into agitation, and when she's agitated she tends to emulate dragons more than humans. Singe marks are not fun to clean.

"Oh…" Allen breathed. He walked around me towards Ava, and I followed. Discreetly, I lifted pieces of furniture into their upright positions, sighing to myself. My neurotic mind rebelled against such disorder. It irked me to see so much destruction, and being an Exorcist practically drives me to my wit's end some days whenever I see shelled buildings from Akuma attacks. I looked up at Allen, who was crouched down watching Ava 'talk'.

My brain instantly narrowed to a single point as I watched her hands. It was an odd sensation – I only ever had this sort of focus whenever Ava was trying to tell me something serious. I gripped the whip at my side, almost unconsciously. What she was saying wasn't exactly pleasant.

_Lights. Two. Sounds. Voices. Much. Big water. Across. Fire. Much. Loud. Much. Smell bad. Smell red. Smoke gray. High. _

"Ava, can you tell me where you were when you saw all this?" I asked her, approaching with my arms crossed. She stared at me with wide eyes before talking with her hands again, rapidly signing words.

_Long. High. Sky much. Tree much. Down far. Down road much. Lily. Big water. Far. Bird much. Man much and net. Sun high. Sun in eyes. _

"What did she say?" Allen asked quietly, looking at me with dove-gray eyes. His face was slightly anxious. He had no idea what was going on, and I bit my finger, a habit I had broken for a while. I thought about all of this for a moment.

"She says that she saw lots of light, lots of voices across a large bay or body of water. She said there was a lot of fire there, and it smelled like blood," I said, but Allen asked, "She can smell blood that well? Where was she?" I felt slightly peeved that he'd interrupted me, but there was no use to being annoyed. I continued.

"Yes, she can. She managed to catch a whiff of me and my half torn arm about three miles away last year. She was somewhere up high towards either the east or the west side of the island. I think she's talking about an Akuma attack on a shore town where there are a lot of fishermen." Allen looked perplexed and worried.

"That could be anywhere, Mag. There are hundreds of fishing villages. Do you think either of them could tell us where the town was? Maybe I can investigate tonight," Allen asked, rubbing his chin in contemplation. I shrugged.

"Lily doesn't have the best memory, and I don't know if she could tell you. Ava here is pretty good about her directions, but I don't feel comfortable letting you take her with you for a nighttime excursion. Maybe tomorrow I'll go with you, see if we can find anything," I sighed, running a hand nervously through my already frazzled hair. I probably looked like I'd grabbed hold of an electric eel and refused to let go. Ava hopped down from her perch on the window sill, and she grabbed hold of my leg. I looked down at her with a questioning, wearied expression, and she began signing again.

_Ready. Like much Allen. Can. Can go. Problem no. Problem no. Be here middle night. Ready. Ready much. Go. Fight. Much fight dead-no-dead. Hurt. _

I gave her a harsh look, and I said slowly, "No, Ava. You're not going." Ava put a peeved look on her face, and she stamped a single foot. I was scared for a moment that she'd snort fire out of her nose. The only thing I needed to top off my day is to find that half my hair's been burned off by a stray spurt of flame. Still, I stood my ground, feet firmly planted as she clung to my leg, looking up at me with that angry face.

"_Krawk. Made her mad. Kraaaawk. In for it now. Kraaaawk, tail feathers singed."_ I broke my staring contest, which I hate to say I was probably _losing, _to shoo off Parley. He landed on Ava's shoulder, the heavy parrot practically slipping off her little dress with his weight. He chewed on a piece of her hair, and I stared at the both of them. Now they _both _were giving me looks, and I couldn't exactly hold a glare on both at the same time without going cross-eyed.

Allen snickered, and I finally gave up.

"_Fine! _Go ahead. Go after the big scary monster, beat it with the ugly stick, and come back as soon as you can. I don't care if you have to hire fifteen elephants to get back, you come back before midnight or else I _will _come after you. Do you hear me?" I said, waving my finger in her face. Parley followed it with his eyes as well as Ava, and he took a snap at it, but I was too used to his habits not to notice his head inching forwards. He almost fell off of Ava's shoulder straight on to the floor with a spray of feathers, and I 'hmphed' with a bit of self-satisfaction.

Now I know I lead a sad life. Fooling a bird with a brain the size of a peanut was one of the highlights of my day.

I left for my hut again as Allen headed towards his own lodgings, probably to prepare for the impromptu mission. Ava wasn't going to need much, seeing as her half-dragon nature tends to make her more self-sufficient than any of my other siblings, but Allen was probably a little bit different. I shuddered as I thought about how she'd tackled a poor little rabbit like a lion on a gazelle. There are times that I forget that my little sister is part predator.

I looked up at the sky as I changed into a different outfit. I sighed to myself. Lavi was right about the storm. I could already see dark gray clouds hanging over the horizon. For some reason, they reminded me of my grandmother. Then again, my grandmother had a habit of hovering and glowering, though I don't remember her spitting lightning and thunder. From far back here, though, I could see the rain coming down in sheets. I wasn't sure when it would hit the hotel, but I could tell it wouldn't take long.

"Mag!" I was startled out of my reverie as I heard footsteps into my room, and I scrambled to put on the rest of my clothes. I recognized the voice, and I cursed. Somehow, he always managed to bring some sort of bad luck with him like he was a walking cloud of malignant providence, because nothing good ever happened around him.

"Yes?" I shouted back, scrambling out of my room. I'd thrown on pants and a shirt, not exactly womanly wear, but it was better than meeting Kanda in my underwear. Even his stolid expression probably would've embarked in a very unexpected direction seeing me in only a corset and a pair of underwear. Not to say I was good looking – it was closer to seeing Grandma naked rather than a model.

"There's an Akuma infestation to the north. You're coming with me," Kanda said, his tone brooking no argument, and I suppressed the urge to groan. I should've figured he'd catch wind of this.

"Well, you see, I kind of have-"

"Doesn't matter." I should've guessed his answer would be as short as his patience. I took a deep breath, and I muttered, "All right, all right. Allen and Ava are already on it, though, so I don't see any reason to go and add to the party." I walked into the main living area, and Kanda stood there, as nasty and stormy as the massive cumulonimbus cloud outside. He looked like he wanted to break the furniture, burn down the hut, and shave my dog. Then again, I've come to learn that his face just looks angry… and his mood generally reflects his face, so that's not really any consolation.

I grabbed my weapon off the kitchen table, and I nearly squealed as a hand grabbed my wrist. I looked up, mere inches away from Kanda's nose, and I gulped loudly. His eyes were black ink pools, and I fought the urge to fight. The usual panic I felt around men had turned into a mix of terror and the instinctive urge to flee. I could do nothing but shake, though. Deer in the headlights – now people understand why I'm such a horrible fighter.

"Never leave your weapon. Have it with you at all times," Kanda growled. I nodded, tight lipped. I'm brave, but I'm not _that _brave. Talking back to a swordsman who could disembowel me without blinking goes against my instinct of self-preservation. Kanda let go of my wrist, and he straightened up into his near six foot frame. I practically have to look up to see him.

I rubbed my wrist as I stared at his back. I was suddenly reconsidering who was scarier: Kanda or Lavi. Lavi's friendship may be an act, but at least I knew he meant no harm. Kanda's black aura of 'I hate the world' didn't exactly give me any good vibes about my physical safety. My heart finally decided that hammering at a hundred miles per minute was not healthy and began to slow down. I rubbed the back of my neck.

"I'll escort my siblings. Is that fine?" I asked, my tone probably giving the Arctic winds a run for its money. Kanda didn't answer, only giving a grunt. Luckily, I knew how to speak Teenager-Guy-anese, so I understood. I began to leave.

This was going to be a long night.

* * *

I rubbed my temples, a well-worn action my family knew too well as Mag getting very irritated and cranky. The theater was little more than a small warehouse packed to the gills with people, food, horrible smells, and not enough space. I'd never thought of a place being packed with too little space, but if ever there was a place, this was it. Thais milled around, yelling to one another and eating all sorts of unidentifiable foods. Several passed me by, and I felt my stomach voice its opinion rather loudly. Vi was having the time of her life, speaking with the locals using the little Thai that she knew while flouncing in a dress that'd make a nun faint. The twins were exploring, as was their wont, and Lavi was fetching me a drink before we headed back to the hotel. Kanda had actually set a curfew for me, but he could stand to have me a minute (or thirty) late.

"Ready to go?" Lavi asked, and I nodded wearily. I was beginning to get a headache. The sounds, the smells, the crush of people - it was doing a number on my head. I'd skipped dinner to make the trip with the Terrible Trio plus Lily to the theater, and I was feeling its effects. I made a mental note; skipping dinner was _not _worth the migraine, quite literally. Vi caught my pained look, and concern flitted across her face. I looked away from her with a listless movement of my head, and the world tilted for all of a moment.

"Y-yeah, I am. If we don't hurry up, dinner's going to be gone, and I'm going to be a _very _unhappy woman. My stomach doesn't do well as an empty sac," I muttered. We began to head out as Lavi handed me a coconut, and I stared at it. What the hell was I supposed to do with this?

"It's a coconut," Lavi stated with exaggeratedly slowness and a teasing smile. I looked up at him with a sardonic look, and I said, "Yeah, I got that, numb nut, but I thought you said you were going to get me a drink." He took it out of my hands, and he looked it over with over-the-top deliberation, going so far as pursing his lips. I raised my eyebrows, my mouth a flat line, and he made a motion as if he was going to open the thing with his teeth. I stared at him incredulously, and he laughed.

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Here." He pulled open a flap, and I saw that it'd been pre-cut. I took a tentative drink, and I decided it wasn't too bad. We walked for nearly three miles, practically half the way, when I heard sounds. They were soft, the pitter-patter of footsteps. I tensed, my hands hovering over my waist where my whip was wrapped tight. I noticed on a sidelong glance that Lavi was just as tense as I was, though he showed it less than I did. He was more... casual about it.

"Akuma?" I asked. He shrugged.

"Can't tell yet, but it sounds human," he stated, crossing his arms. "We'll keep going." I groaned at the prospect of heading towards the noises. I wasn't exactly all that enthusiastic about going towards mysterious footsteps, but I guess that's normal because I don't know anyone else who's chipmunk-cheery to go towards mysterious footfalls.

It wasn't long before we saw the owner of said creepy footsteps. It was a Frenchman, and I sighed. I should've guessed, from the fairy light sounds of his dainty feet hitting pavement. No wonder I'd felt like the footsteps sounded creepy.

_"What's the matter?"_ I called out in fair French. I'd lived in Paris a month or two, and I was proud that the language hadn't left me completely. The Frenchman looked at us wearily, slowing his pace as he neared.

_"Nothing. I'm here to deliver a message to a young, redhaired man by the name of Lavi and a thin, sickly looking __woman with bad taste named Mag. It is from a Japanese man."_ I groaned. He'd called me thin and sickly looking. My teacher was such a sweetheart. At least he didn't immediately peg us for the two recipients. Perhaps he wanted directions.

_"I believe you two must be the receivers. I was concerned for a moment, because I only saw the man's red hair and not the sickly woman, but now that I am closer I can see what he was talking about."_ I made a mental note to attempt to strangle Kanda in his sleep. This was getting ridiculous.

_"Speak your message already. I've had enough abuse for one day," _I grumbled as Lavi tried (and failed) to hide a snicker. The Frenchman vacillated before reciting in English, " 'Both went missing. Neither have come back by the deadline. I am leaving without you. Headed to the jungles to the north.' All that I have, I am sorry."

"You speak English?" Lavi asked. I had the feeling he'd understood everything, if the horrible attempts to hide his mirth were anything to go by, but he still sounded surprised by the English. _I _was surprised by the English, and I was none too happy about it either. I'd just dredged up all my French-language for nothing. I didn't like expending brain effort on an unnecessary task. It was a waste of energy best spent napping and playing crosswords.

"_Oui._ And you understand French. Mademoiselle, your diction is excellent,"he commented, and I felt a blush of pride.

"Thank you. I pride myself in keeping my nasal tones." The Frenchman bowed in deference before heading on his merry way down the road, fairy-feet giving light smacks to the road.

"I guess Allen and Ava were delayed," Lavi mumbled, digesting this new information. I tried to keep my stomach in its proper place, but gravity seemed insistent to have it around my ankles. I could already feel the panic welling up inside of me like blood out of a wound. My youngest sister, possibly dead or wounded.

"Well, I guess that just means we've got more work cut out for us," I mumbled. The storm rumbled overhead, and I continued down the road. No use standing here doing nothing. Lavi followed suit within seconds.

Here we go again, off into certain danger. Oh, how I reek of anticipation.


	5. A Battle Awaits

"Um, Mag, you know we can slow down," Lavi said somewhere behind me. I tuned him out as I continued to abuse the local flora with a machete. We'd been cutting through the forests for nearly two hours since Kanda had sent his little message. At that point, we'd packed up what supplies we had and grabbed what dinner was left. I'd been going nonstop since then. It was going to take a mountain, several wild animals, a horde of Akuma, and a storm to stop me from getting to my sister.

Unfortunately, so far we'd already had to contend with the animals and the storm and the mountain, so my courage was already beginning to wear gossamer thin before we'd even gotten to the fight.

"Magnolia. MAG." I stopped, spinning around and nearly slipping on a fern leaf. Exasperating, I finally asked, "What?" I blinked as I realized that Lavi was staring at me with a strange look on his face. I'd seen that look before, too. Usually, I was staring into a mirror when I saw that look. I wiped sweat off my forehead, and suddenly a downpour started out of nowhere. My frazzled, poofy hair matted to my face as I was showered immediately with water. I sighed heavily as brown strands hung over my eyes. Lavi moved the strands out of my face, his red hair already plastered to his skin.

"You need to slow down a little, ne? You're going to end up burning yourself out. You've been hiking like a wild woman for the past two hours, and we've still got another three miles before we're even in range enough to ask for a reference point," Lavi stated. I bit my lip, chewing on it. I couldn't stand the thought that one of my siblings might be in danger. My neurotic brain suddenly began to turn down alleys that should not be tread, and I kept envisioning all sorts of outlandish deaths, each one more fantastical and gruesome than the last.

Finally I sat down on a rotting log, and I put my head in my hands.

"I can't stop. Ava could be in danger or dying or hurt or... or-" I threw up my hands, running out of words. Lavi hummed sympathetically, and he helped me to my feet. Now that I'd finally sat down, my legs were like jelly. He held me steady as I got my land legs back.

"Worrying's not going to change that, and burning yourself out isn't either. Once the weather clears, I can use Little Hammer to fly over the island and see if we can't find a place to get a good signal. Right now, all we can do is wait for it to clear, because at this rate you're going to make yourself sick," Lavi stated. Taking a shuddering breath, I nodded. I bound back my hair with an elastic tie, one of which I'd kinda... 'borrowed' from Kanda and hoped he wouldn't mind missing. Lavi glanced at it with a raised eyebrow, and I shrugged with a sheepish grimace.

"I really needed the hair tie," I muttered as we began to walk again. Lavi said, "I hope you're prepared for a fire storm when he decides he wants it back. He practically protects those hair ties with his life. I'm surprised you managed to even get it off of him." I winced. I'd kinda... well, it was just sitting there in the open near his hut. I'd thought nothing of it.

And, of course, speak of the devil, we heard loud noises from our golem, which was fluttering right next to Lavi's head. It crackled before a low voice ground out, _"Which one of you took my hair tie?" _I winced.

"Hi, Kanda."

_"Mag, I'm going to make you run until you puke." _

"Nice to hearing you too."

Lavi rolled his one good eye. Taking the golem in his long fingers, he asked, "Hey, you got a lock on either Allen or Ava?" It was quiet for a minute, and the golem crackled. Maybe all the water was messing with the circuitry, though Komui had told me when I'd gotten mine that it was nigh indestructible and waterproof to boot... Finally, Kanda's tinny voice filtered through, _"I've found the town, but I don't see either. I know I saw Allen's Innocence fire off Cross Grave, but other than that all I'm seeing is a lot of running and screaming. How far away are you two?" _

"I don't know. We're kind of stuck in the middle of the rain forest right now. I might be able to triangulate with your golem, and when the weather clears we'll hitch a ride over on Little Hammer," Lavi answered. Meanwhile, I surveyed the rain forest, rain falling massive sheets through the canopy. The storms were dark, and without the flashlight on Lavi's golem, we'd probably be stuck in darkness deeper than a whale's stomach. From what I could see of my surroundings, it was green, wet, and decaying. I didn't like to think about might be squishing under my feet. Beyond my immediate vicinity, however, I couldn't see too much other than dark, dark, and more dark. I could definitely _hear _well enough, though, because I swore that every time I turned around, there was a growl, a hiss, or a rattle. Rain forest wild life obviously didn't have public noise edicts.

Suddenly, two eyes glowed at me from somewhere in the dark, and I screamed as I flung out my whip, the razor-sharp metal practically cleaving all the unfortunate plant matter in front of me in a swath as I scared off whatever had been staring at me. A tree suddenly fell somewhere ahead of me, and I winced as it crashed to the ground, sending animals scattering. Lavi stared out with an almost impressed look.

"I forget how sharp this thing is," I muttered, reeling in my whip.

_"What was that?" _Kanda asked in a rather deadpan voice, and Lavi shrugged before answering, "Mag's getting the hang of deforestation. Nothing big. I'll catch up with you here in a minute. I think the storm's clear enough that I can risk using a Seal."_  
_There was a grunt on the other end, and the sour-sounding Exorcist hung up. I was going to take a gander and say he meant 'affirmative.'

"Use a Seal...?" I asked, emphasizing the capitalization. Lavi winked, and I rolled my eyes. He removed his Innocence from his leg holster (which I desperately wanted, seeing as carrying this whip around my waist is like having razor-floss cut into my hips) and stated, "You may want to stand back. It can get pretty loud." I didn't need to be told twice. I moved as far back as the golem's light would let me, and Little Hammer suddenly became very _un_little. I swallowed at the sheer immensity of the thing as Lavi invoked his second level of seals, smashing the face of the hammer into one with a Japanese kanji on it that I couldn't read. A massive bolt suddenly hit the sky, and I looked away as I was momentarily blinded. After blinking away the little spots in front of my eyes, it abruptly stopped raining.

I stared.

"Why didn't you do this two hours ago!" I drawled out, and Lavi rubbed the back of his head with all the sheepishness of an apologetic.

"I, uh, didn't think of doing it, actually. I just remembered now that I could," he explained, and I rubbed my temples. I'd just tramped through miles of rain forest for no good reason other than to get knee deep in decaying plant and animal matter, have the crap nearly literally scared out of me, and to waste time getting to my sister. Never the less, I calmed down enough to notice that he was prepping his hammer for take off. It suddenly occurred to me we were going to be flying.

Flying entailed being high above the ground.

Flying entailed not being strapped into anything.

Flying entailed going very, very fast without nothing to catch me if I fell off.

I decided I didn't like the idea of flying.

"Um... Lavi... I, uh... I kind of -" Before I could protest, he took my hand and grasped it firmly with his hammer's handle in my palm. I stared for a minute, not comprehending that in just a minute I was about to acquire a fear of heights. Without warning, we suddenly shot into the sky, and I screamed as I was whacked by several branches on our way out.

After two minutes of gut-wrenching terror and acceleration, I finally realized that we'd leveled out. Now, it was as if I were a witch sitting on a broomstick, except instead of a broomstick I had a handle about the size of a dowel rod separating me from _thousands of feet of air. _I was speechless with fear as I clung to the itty-bitty handle with arms and lengths, my stomach violently trying to evict all occupants. Below me I could see a panorama of the rain forest, an entire swath of green directly beneath me. My body shook as I began to come to terms with just how high I was, and Lavi shouted over the wind, "Isn't this fun!" We barely missed the side of a tall vegetation-covered limestone mountain, and I screamed, "I HATE YOUR GUTS, LAVI! HATE THEM, DO YOU HEAR ME?"

He laughed over the roar of the storm. This guy was beginning to get on my nerves. How could he be so calm when we were flying higher than birds?

Suddenly, a bird passed us by with a very, very confused look on its birdy face. I stand corrected. Flying higher than _most _birds.

"You get used to it!" Lavi shouted. "Scared me the first time I figure it out! Kinda hard to put the brakes on it, too!" I blinked at this realization, and for the first time since being up in the air, I sat up and squeaked, "What? You're telling me you don't know how to land?" I turned back to look at him, but a bump of air sent me back to clinging the handle. Lavi cheerily reported back, "No, I'm saying that it's just a little hard to stop! Hey! There's the village, I think!" He pointed over my shoulder, the hammer slowing down ever so slightly. The village actually jutted out into the water quite a ways. Most of it was on stilts, and quite a bit of it was on _fire. _

Let's see: flaming destruction? Check. Screams of agony and fear? Check. Gatling guns? Check. Sinking feeling in my stomach? Check and check. I'm going to buy a vowel and say that this was the right spot. Against the backdrop of the burning village, which was barely the size of a postage stamp at our vantage point, I could see something fluttering in the air on wings. Anticipation ran through me as I got my hopes up. If Ava was flying, that meant she was fine - she could fly away from whatever dangers assailed the little stilt-town.

Unfortunately, as we came in ever closer to the village, I saw that the flying thing was much too small to be Ava. Instead, I saw Parley frantically flying towards us, flapping his singed wings as fast as he could. We were probably half a mile away when the parrot landed on my shoulder, exhausted, and began to squawk, "_Craaaawk, danger, danger. Craaawk, fire, lots of fire. Craaaawk, clipped wings, clipped wings, craaawk!" _I winced at the noise in my ear, but I paid careful attention to what was being said. Parley actually had a lot to say, and I'd long since realized that he didn't just spit out words. Somehow, Lily had managed to teach him to count from ten back to _zero. _I didn't even think parrots could understand the concept of zero, much less remember what the word...

"What's with the bird?" Lavi asked as we descended. I slowly sat up, feeling slightly more secure now that we were within twenty feet of the tin roofs below us. I explained, "He's trying to tell us about what's going on down there. I think he's saying that Ava broke a wing. He keeps telling me 'clipped wing, clipped wing'. She's done it more than once." She liked to perch in trees, and she'd fallen more than once. Luckily, most of her 'broken wings' tended to be dislocations, which were about the equivalent of a Nurse's Elbow and didn't take long to fix. However, to someone inexperienced with children (and dislocations for that matter), a dislocated wing looked awfully gruesome. Suddenly, I noticed that our speed wasn't decelerating. If anything, it felt like we might actually be going faster rather than slower, and I glared at Lavi.

"You are so dead when we land," I growled as Parley cashed in his chips and flew off for safer ground. Lavi winced as the back end of the hammer skidded over tin roofs. I think I screamed as we headed towards a rather large, empty area of wooden floorboards that I take was their version of a town square. Two arms wrapped around my waist and tightened, creating a brace, as we finally hit the ground. The both of us rolled several times, eventually splitting apart when we hit a wall. I gasped and moaned in pain, feeling my new assortment of bruises and cuts. Wood was not kind to skin.

"Are you alright?" Lavi asked, and I sat up slowly. Nothing _felt _broken, though that could change at a moment's notice. Breathing in and out, I figured that I wasn't injured anywhere on my torso. My head hurt, mainly because I'd smashed into Lavi's forehead. I looked over to him and took in his small showcase of blue splotches. He had a corresponding contusion to my goose egg, but other than that he looked fine. I nodded, and I stated, "Yeah, I, uh, I'm good, though I think you shaved off about fifty years of my lifespan. You practically gave me a heart attacks. Wait, scratch that - three heart attacks." Lavi laughed, getting to his feet with a bounce.

"Hey, you only live once, right? Might as well make the most of it." After the both of us had checked to see if we had all our supplies and Parley mustered the guts to come back after bailing on me, we started off through the small town on stilts. It was odd, seeing as I'd never been to one before, though I'd definitely heard of them.

"Odd to think some of the people who'd lived here had never stepped foot on land, ne?" Lavi asked quietly as we watched a band of burqa'd women and their threadbare children ran from the fighting going on nearly fifteen blocks south. The golem, which had somehow miraculously managed to keep up with us, indignantly beeped with an incoming call, and Lavi tapped the face of it with a rather impatient rap of the finger. It crackled, and suddenly a familiar British tenor asked, "Hello? Hello, is there anyone here? Hello?" My eyes widened, and I snatched the golem straight out of the air. It fluttered in my hand with a panic, but I ignored its obvious fear of my enthusiasm. It can live with being manhandled for a few minutes.

"Allen? Is that you?" A sigh went over the airways, whether of relief or disappointment, I'm not sure. I was betting on the latter rather than the former.

"Miss Magnolia, it's good to hear from you. Are you in the town?" he asked, trying to keep up a rather cheery voice despite the sounds of screams in the background. I began walking at a brisk pace, following the glowing dot on the golem's face that was giving me Allen's position.

"Yeah, I am. Is Ava alright?" I asked, trying to keep hysteria out of my voice. That's difficult, though, when you're imagining your little sister being dismembered in a variety of ways. Lavi sped up to follow me, Parley taking perch on his shoulder and making him look like a bona fide pirate with his eye patch and saucy bandanna (which had wondrously managed to stay firm around his head - I'm beginning to think all of his belongings are enchanted to keep up with him).

"Ava is perfectly fine. She had her hair singed a bit, and she's got a cut on one of her wings, but other than that she seems right as rain. I apologize for not bringing her back on curfew. We became quite caught up here, if you couldn't tell," Allen said, a sudden explosion going off in the background. A corresponding burst appeared somewhere along the horizon of the town, and I chuckled darkly. Lavi gently pried the golem from my fingers, letting it freely flutter in the air. I could've sworn that it glared at me...

"Allen, we're headed towards you. Keep a weather-eye out for anything out of the ordinary or danger. Have you gotten word from Kanda yet?" Lavi asked, and Allen's answer was prompt.

"No, I haven't. That idiot's been tramping through the forest, I bet, instead of taking the main road like I told him to," Allen sighed rather belligerently, and despite the grim environment I chuckled at his annoyed tone. For some reason, I found annoyed British people oddly amusing. Perhaps it's that stuffy aspect, I guess, though Allen was anything but stuffy. Maybe that's what made it so funny.

Lavi smiled at my sudden break from dark countenance, and he said to Allen, "Well, keep us posted on changes. Give me a report on how many we've got."

"A hundred or so Level Ones. About twenty five to thirty Level Twos. There are two Level Threes around, but I already sent one off. I didn't get a clear shot as to whether it's still alive or not, though, so you'll have to keep an eye out for it." Lavi contemplated this, and he adjusted his headband.

"Got it. Over and out," Lavi said, and Allen echoed the same before clicking out of the transmission. We were almost at a jog now, turning down alleys as the golem took the lead.

"Feel better now?" Lavi asked suddenly, and I panted tersely, "Yeah. Lots." Geez, I hadn't had to run this much since... well, since Kanda had me go on that ten kilometer 'jaunt'. My heart was already beating fast enough to put hummingbirds to shame, and the added exercise was going to put it out of commission if this went on any longer. I was seriously out of shape. We continued at a heightened jog for nearly twenty minutes, weaving through side streets, jumping over gaps in the boards that served as the 'streets' themselves, and taking shortcuts through people's homes. We had yet to encounter Akuma, and I was kind of hoping it would stay that way.

And of course as luck would have it the minute the thought entered my head, two Level Twos and about fifty Level Ones careened around a corner to stare at us like a deer in the middle of a road. Training took over, and I barreled for cover. The Level Twos took turns picking us off, but they were about as dumb as a two sacks of hammers. The Level Ones were basically mindless eggs with gun attachments, and it didn't take me long to get rid of them either, though I ended up with a bad case of road rash (or splinter rash, in this case) and a few close calls. I wasn't in uniform, so unfortunately I was immune to flying debris. Sad to say, at one point I ended up screaming because I got hit with a piece of wood and I thought I'd been shot. Lavi laughed so hard, I thought he was going to die of cardiac arrest, not Akuma-poisoned bullets.

"Pay attention!" I squeaked, my voice cracking. I think it made him laugh harder. I deflated in response to his show of mirth at my ineptitude, and I grumbled under my breath.

Suddenly, I felt a lancing pain in my side, and it was as if the wind had been knocked out of me. Before I knew it, I'd crashed through an entire house, lucky to land on some newly installed boards, seeing as quite a few had proven themselves rotten and had nearly been the end of us. I lay there for several minutes, coughing and flailing, before I realized I had an Akuma lording over me. It grinned with oversized teeth and a metal-plated skull made of bronze, obviously shaped to be a dog. My eyes widened as it pointed two massive, stovepipe sized cannons at my face, point blank. They began to whir, and I could feel the blood promptly leave my face for safer climes.

"Hehehehe, easy picki -"

A sword suddenly shoved straight through its face, the tip hardly two inches from my nose. All I could was lay there and hope that I didn't wet myself. Blood dripped on my face, stinging, and the massive hulk of the Akuma was dragged away, chucked somewhere in the alley. I could hear it fall through the floor boards as it crashed into the water underneath. Breathing in slowly, trying to keep my heart from vacating its intended space, I stared at Kanda with something probably close to wonder and closer to fear. The samurai looked massive from my angle on the ground, wiping off his sword on his pants. I winced as I realized that the blood was eating my skin, and I wiped it off. Kanda began to leave, and I felt indignant anger well up within the very recesses of my core. I'd just been shoved over, thrown through a building, tramped through a rain forest, and nearly _shot in the face, _and he wasn't going to even help me stand up?

"Hey! Downed woman over here! Could use some attention!" I griped from my personal bed of debris, and Kanda glanced back with a sour look. He gave a short 'tch', and for a minute I thought he might actually walk away. At the last second, he seemed to think about it for a minute.

And then he really _did _walk away. I sniffed as I stiffly stood up.

"Butt head," I muttered under my breath, and a voice asked, "Butt head? Is that really the best you can come up with?" I nearly jumped out of my skin as Lavi poked his head out of the hole I'd created when I'd flown through the house. I was lucky these boards were already wet and loose as they were - had it been concrete, I'd probably be lying in a pool of my own blood when I'd been thrown up against the wall. I rolled my eyes.

"Years of being a good influence has cleansed my tongue -"

"MAG WATCH OUT!" I was suddenly thrown for the _second _time in five minutes, and as I flew through the air I idly thought, _y'know,_ _I'm really beginning to get sick of this crap. _I hit yet another wall, not falling through this one, and a massive force tore through the center of the street where I'd been standing not two minutes before. I stared in awe as the waters below broiled, coming to the conclusion that maybe being thrown wasn't such a bad thing after all. Lavi leaned scootched up against the opposite wall of the alley, wincing as a piece of tin roof hit him on the head. I gulped as I looked up, wondering just _what _had sneaked up on us and put a massive rift in the alley. It had been completely silent, not even making a single sound as it attacked.

I think it's safe to say it was probably a Level Three, but I could be wrong. After all, how many other things have the ability to make the street disappear in two seconds? I'm sure there are two or three, at the least.

Lavi risked peeking out from under the eaves, and the look on his face was all I needed to see. He bit his lip as he leaned against the wall of the house, taking a deep breath. He looked at me, and he pointed down the main street that was at right angles with the alley, or what used to be the alley. I stared at him in disbelief. He wanted _me _to go out _there? _I was an Exorcist, not a suicide case. I flicked my whip back and forth rather hesitantly, thinking about our options. We were separated at the moment, and that street didn't start until it reached the house I was at. The gulf was too wide to jump across without becoming a sitting duck in mid air.

In all senses of the words, I was plain out of luck. This was a lose-lose situation. Without Lavi, I was going to die. If I left, I was going to die. If I _stayed, _it was very likely I'd still die. If Lavi tried to get to me, he'd die and then _I'd _die without his help.

Suddenly, I heard the _ching _of a sword somewhere out in the distance, and a faint kernel of hope flared like the traitorous little thing it was. I hated my dependence, but I was a translator, and an eighteen year old translator at that, not a fighter. War was not my thing. I had to stay with someone whose thing _was _war, and Kanda was the posterchild for 'fighter with a penchant for blood and destruction.' If I had to settle for Mr. Grouchface, I'd settle with Mr. Grouchface, as long as it kept me alive.

If anything, I was a survivor. If nothing, I was a wimp. There are benefits to both. It meant I'd sacrifice dignity and glory for living. I'm not sure if that made me a coward or just intelligent.

I groaned to myself, walked into the house by scrabbling through the window, and I looked out the door into the main street. The coast was clear, but Kanda was nowhere in sight, which made me a little bit nervous. I looked back to Lavi, and I waved to him with a quick salute. The redhead had an apologetically sad smile on his face as he returned the favor, and he headed off. I sighed as I shook out my hands, trying to prep myself for the run down the street. I sincerely hoped that I could manage to just cross the street in one piece, much less _alive. _

"Okay, Mag, you've got this. It's just a street. Kanda's somewhere down there, kicking butt, and you're going to go down there and kick butt with him, and you're going to get Ava and go home, take a nice warm bath, go to sleep, and wake up tomorrow ready for the day. You're gonna be fine, absolutely fine. You're an Exorcists, and Exorcists aren't af-"

An explosion rocked the entire town on its stilts, and I ducked and screamed. Boards rained down from the ceiling, and I heard a loud scream that was tellingly masculine. My eyes widened as I realized that whatever had tried to kill me before was probably distracted now. I felt a pang of guilt as I realized that I was thinking of Lavi as bait, and I quashed the feeling as I emptied my brain and flung myself down the street.

I managed to run down three different alleyways before I encountered Akuma. Luckily, they were the Eggs-With-Guns variety, and it wasn't hard to get rid of them. Keeping from being _shot _is a totally different story, but I don't think I'll go on about that. On the way, I managed to pick up Ava, who was cowering behind a barrel, and I soon realized why the tyke was scared out of her mind when I saw the wall of flame that had sprung up in the street. I sighed, suddenly becoming serious. I couldn't keep running. Kanda's position was becoming less and less clear, and it occurred to me that he wasn't a stationary object. Quite the contrary, really, I noticed when at long last I couldn't hear the sounds of fighting any more.

"You alright, Ava?" I asked panting. I was pretty sure there were only Level Twos and Ones about right now. Kanda probably took care of one of the Level Threes and I had confidence that Lavi took care of the other one while I'd, well... hightailed it, for lack of a better word. Suddenly, I felt a constricting feeling around my throat as I was rudely yanked backwards by the neck. I made a gagging noise as I dropped Ava, my eyes bugging out of my head as she spread her wings to try and control her short descent.

Cold arms suddenly wrapped around my neck and torso, and I felt myself lifted off my feet and into the air. Below my feet, I could just barely make out rooftops as I fought and squirmed to try and get out of the choking grip that was slowly suffocating me.

"Why hello, Exorcist. I believe you were trying to get away from me?" something whispered squalidly in my ear with a wet diction. I winced as I continued to wriggle and fight, but I was being held tighter and tighter. I suddenly felt a hot pain in my side as I realized that a rib had cracked. I let out a pained scream, and air suddenly became less of a commodity and more of a luxury.

"Oh, so sad. I can tell you were going to be so promising. I saw you kill some of my brethren out there. Were you hoping to save that little one?" it asked, about as sweet as an overripe melon and just as sickeningly squishy. Looking down, I noticed that Ava (good girl!) had disappeared. The Level Three seemed momentarily confused about this, and I took that small window of time to wrap my whip around its waist.

"What's thi - AH!" It suddenly let go of me, and the whip tightened as I fell. I gritted my teeth as I was yanked to a stop. The whip, sharp as a razor and twice as thin, began to work a rut in its waspish waist. From this angle, I could finally see my attacker, a silver-plated humanoid with a horned helmet and lots of teeth. My stomach dropped upon sight of it, and I was suddenly very sorry to have caught a glimpse. I didn't have to worry about that for long before it started to fly over the rooftops, attempting to shake me off of my own weapon. Good for me, I had the tenacity of a bulldog once I got down to it, and I wasn't letting go for anything short of having my arms hacked off.

The Akuma must've come to the same conclusion, because it started through knives back at me along with trying to smash me into the roofs. I managed to dodge, mostly by sheer luck, but I noticed with a quick glimpse back behind me that Ava was following us, Parley somehow not far behind. I stared in utter horror as Ava came closer, and I waved with one hand for her to go back. She fluttered, confused, until I finally managed to yank with a yell on the whip wrapped around the Level Three's waist.

It screeched, metal on metal, as I accidentally unraveled the deadly belt of wire. I had all of two seconds to say, "Uh-oh".

Momentum brought the both of us forwards, crashing us through an open air restaurant. Lucky for me, I landed in the trash. _Unluckily _for me, I landed in the trash_. _

I got up out of the pile of disgusting food bits and who knew what with a gag, picking bits of noodle out of my hair. The Akuma hadn't been so lucky. It was half-sheared at the waist, and it had crashed into several pillars and had been buried under a piece of tin roof. I flicked my whip, suddenly becoming all business. I approached the pile of tin and wood cautiously, knowing at any moment that Akuma could burst out like a bat from -

Suddenly, I was clocked on the back of the head by something large, and I staggered. I looked behind me in incredulity. A glint of silver caught my eye before it disappeared, and I realized that the Akuma must've moved without disturbing the pile. This realization came too late as I cursed under my breath, and I ran into the kitchens as fast as I could manage. Knives flashed past me, one of them coming close enough to actually cut a chunk of my hair off, and I dove into the kitchen, ignoring the _fire _burning in my ribs. It must've broken more than one, because breathing was like sticking burning rods into my sides along with a some salt just to add insult to injury. I had several scrapes from hitting rooftops, too, and I probably had a sprained wrist.

Something crashed through a hole in the roof, and I nearly lashed at it until I realized it was Ava. I didn't have the necessary time to chew her out, so I picked her up as best I could and bundled her into a closet.

"Stay," I breathed with a worrying rasp, and I hobbled back to the kitchen. There was a wok about big enough to fry a baby that was filled with oil, and I looked around nervously as I tried to get my Innocence to cooperate. It suddenly came alive with a great _fwoop, _and, not expecting it, I yelped, quickly covering my mouth to stifle the noise. I stood completely still, sweat pouring down my ribs and back. Now that I had time to think, fear was distilling in my mind, creating an infection that was spreading to every part of my psyche. Every shadow was a gun, every glint of moonlight was a knife, and every squeak of the boards was a footstep. I boiled the oil using my whip, keeping a watch out for the Level Three.

A telltale flash of metal tipped me off, and I flung the now-bubbling oil straight into the Akuma's face as it came at me, claws outstretched. It screamed as it came in contact with the boiling oil, and I used the whip to set it on fire. The Akuma screamed as it began to go up in flames, and I slowly smiled.

So maybe I _wasn't _too bad at thi-

I was suddenly socked in the face with a flaming fist, and I didn't even have time to think. I flew straight through another wall, this one a little less rotten and a lot more painful, and the landing literally took my breath away. I wheezed as I rolled over onto my side, looking up at the Akuma advancing towards me from about fifty feet away. Heh, I had to remember that, if I got out of this alive. Fifty feet had to be a new record.

"Clever, clever little Exorcist, trying to live by her wits? Why, because you're too much of a _weakling_? Oh, I'll believe that," it drawled, and a jet of blue flame suddenly bathed it. It screamed in rage as I tried to sit up, wondering 'where the heck was blue flame coming from?' I stared, uncomprehending, before reaching the realization that Ava was blasting the thing.

"Ava... AVA!" I croaked, fighting to get to my feet. Fear lanced straight into my bones, cutting a line straight into my heart, as I realized that Ava was putting herself in danger. This wasn't like 'fighting Level Ones' type danger, either. This was the 'she's going to die no matter what' type of danger. The Akuma turned around to stare straight at Ava, and it threw a knife at the little girl, pinning a single wing to the floor. For the first time in nearly four years, I heard Ava's voice.

She screamed.

* * *

**A/N: **Sheesh, it's been a while since I've even bothered updating. I guess writer's block will do that to you.

Also, there is such a town in Thailand where it is built on stilts above water. I've actually been there, believe it or not. Also, parrots can also understand the concept of 'zero', though in general it's only African Greys that can understand zero so I stretched the truth there a little, seeing as Parley's actually a macaw...

I'm sorry for the inactivity. I should be back every now and again to update. I'm finally getting my steam built back up for this story.

Big thanks to all the reviews I've gotten so far! Though I dunno if I should count 'Banana-nana' counts seeing as she's my cousin -sticks out tongue-. Muchas gracias to quillop and Vicare. Honest, rereading your reviews actually got me to try this story over again.

I have a surprising amount of alerts, too. I was shocked to find eight! This is probably the most 'OC-ish' story I've written, and definitely the one that's the most 'fangirlish', I guess.

And of course, the favorites. Two so far, but I wasn't expecting many people to go for a story with so many OCs in it. I'm just glad I have this many.

Well, toodle-loo. I should be spitting out more chapters again in a bit.

God bless, and happy reading!


	6. A Departure That Will Suck

I'm pretty sure something in me snapped, because out of nowhere I was suddenly ten foot tall, bulletproof, and dangerous to boot.

My whip crackled with new energy, and the fire that had wreathed it suddenly became blue, the same gas-blue as Ava's own flame. My eye twitched as I slung the whip almost carelessly at the Akuma, scraping it against my cheek in the process and probably gaining yet another new cut. I didn't care - I was practically immune to pain at this point. The Akuma, obviously surprised, scrabbled to get out of the flaming enclosure, but there was little chance of that happening.

_You screwed with my sister. You are going TO DIE._

I yanked backwards, something in my arm tearing, and the entire demon raced backwards, crashing through chairs, tables, and support beams. I waited, time going by in milliseconds, before the Akuma reached the end of the whip, before I yanked again, sending it crashing in another direction. It dug its claws into the floorboards, the knife-spewing devices around its wrists whirring into action. I frowned as I suddenly pulled upwards, then down. The Akuma crashed into the ceiling, then hit the floor with a resounding crash, sending it straight into the water below the wooden beams. My whip slackened in my hand, and I reeled it back in. The Akuma was no longer wrapped up in the end of it, so I figured that meant it had either been cut straight through or the whip had unraveled again. Either way, I didn't think it was likely the Akuma was coming back.

Bone tired, I shuffled towards Ava, who was softly crying. She'd been singed and burn on the wings before, and she'd been shot before too (imagine my horror - they tranquilized me at the hospital to calm me down), but I guess being trapped scared her more than anything. I flopped down on my knees, studying the wound with clinical numbness. My brain fought to work through the cloud of exhaustion, and I realized that the knife wound was nothing more than a flesh injury. It hadn't hit any of Ava's major arteries in her wings. If anything, it had done almost minimal damage other than put a small hole in the webbing.

I held the wing down gently, Ava fluttering frantically as Parley watched silently from the rafters, and I yanked the knife out. She let out a small whimper, but that was all. I looked up at Ava, her tear-streaked face dirty and spotted with ash with her pigtails practically out of their hair ties, and I sighed with relief. Tears began to prick at my eyes, and Ava walked up to me, hugging me as she buried her face in my chest. I held her tight, realizing just how close I could've come to losing her, and I started to sob.

I can't help that I'm a sentimentalist. It's not very pretty on a woman, I know. Tear-stains are never in vogue, but I've never been in vogue to begin with, so it doesn't really matter.

I was so distracted by Ava I must've missed the sounds of water moving and footsteps. I heard a massive click behind me like the sound a gun makes as its being cocked back, and I closed my eyes tight, suddenly too tired to even move. Knives could only go so far. Ava knew how to play dead.

I heard the familiar _ching _of a sword cutting through metal, and a body dropped behind me. I shook, practically half-dead, not even bothering to look behind me. A rough hand suddenly took a hold of the hair-tie just barely keeping my hair in a ponytail and gently removed it. Brown, dirty strands fell around my face as I sat, my head bowed down into Ava's hair, tears dripping down my nose and off my face.

"That's two you owe me."

There was a great commotion as people began to arrive, but I didn't bother to look up. I felt shell-shocked and confused. My brain refused to plod forwards. It had gone on a shield alert, putting up barriers to protect me. People were asking me things, but I couldn't answer because I had no idea what was going on. I could tell I was looking at faces, but whose faces, I didn't know. I think at one point they tried to separate Ava and I, but she practically clawed through my arms with her talons trying to stay with me. That finally woke me up.

"I-it's fine, she's... she's fine," I breathed out finally, everything snapping into clarity like the breaking of an elastic band. I saw plenty of Thai faces, and through the crowd I could see Allen's white head journeying towards us. He was clad in his uniform, looking awfully sharp, if a little ruffled, in his black-and-white Exorcist coat. Worry was practically plastered on his face with a paintbrush, and I gave a weary smile.

"Hey, Allen. Imagine finding you here," I joked weakly, and he didn't say a word. The younger Exorcist bent down to my level, and he began to examine Ava carefully. At first, she threatened to bite him (and if her teeth weren't like little knives), but I held her and gave a warning glare. She calmed down when she realized that Allen's hands were gentler than anticipated, and eventually she fell asleep in my lap.

"And you?" Allen asked, quietly concerned. The Thais had begun repairs already, putting up replacement boards where the floor had fallen in or righting cooking equipment. Somewhere at the back, I could see Lavi shifting from one foot to the other in a fidgety dance, like he had to pee or something. For all I knew, maybe that _was _the reason for his fidgeting, though it was unlikely. No one ever tells you that you might have to pee in the middle of a battle. It's actually really inconvenient.

"Uh, I'm fine, I think. I've got a broken rib or two, a scrape here and there, nothin' much," I said, trying to stay optimistic. My little half-dragon of a sister woke up blearily at the sound of my voice. Ava looked up at me with soulful eyes, and I could tell that she could tell that I could tell that Allen could tell that I could tell that I was a really, really bad liar. Never the less, he didn't say anything towards it, and he got a few of the Thai men to help me to my feet. Ava clung to my legs before Allen leaned down to pick her up.

I studied the younger Exorcist. He actually didn't look too exhausted, and I wondered how he could manage to stay so fresh after fighting for hours on end. Allen began to limp out of the restaurant, chattering to Lavi as he went with Ava in his arms. My sister looked over his shoulder and extended one clawed hand out to me, and I felt my heart constrict. I wasn't in any shape to be carrying her, though. Allen would take much better care of her than I could at the moment.

As I myself began to head out the door after the other Exorcists, I noticed a presence looming behind me. Considering my innards attempted to tie itself into a knot, I'm going to guess that I was standing next to Kanda. He's the only one who knew how to put wasps in my stomach.

"Let's go outside," he stated in a low growl, and bullets began dripping down my back. I wordlessly followed him out the door. We continued to walk behind the other Exorcists, albeit at a much slower pace, probably a deliberate thing on Kanda's part considering his continental stride.

Suddenly, I was hit up the back of the head, and I winced. That hurt more than I thought it would. I wrapped my arms around my sore skull, and I muttered, "What was that for?" Kanda didn't even look at me. In profile, he looked cruelly proud, like some sort of jungle cat that was too haughty to even consider eating a lowlife like me. He sniffed.

"You gave up. That's a disappointment. I thought you had more guts," he growled, and I felt a pang of hurt. I let my arms fall to my sides, and my legs seemed to move on their own. We'd almost caught up with the others at this point.

"You don't ever give up. Do you hear me?" His tone was gruff, but awkward. I frowned as I cast a wary glance out of the corner of my eye. Kanda wasn't exactly the 'friendly advice' type of guy. His advice came in the form of beatings and pain. Maybe that was what the slap up the side of my head was for. He wanted to smash the information into my brain.

"I'm serious," he added, looking at me. I practically felt his eyes bore holes straight through my face. I sighed before suddenly stumbling to my knees over a piece of debris. Instinctively, he caught my arm, and I screamed as some invisible sadist punched a poker through my humerus. Kanda visibly cringed, whether at my three-octaves-too-high voice or the wound in my arm I wasn't sure. He set me down, examining the marks in my flesh, and I realized that Ava must've stabbed me a little harder than intended.

"They're... cat scratches?" I tried lamely with a forced smile. He raised a single sardonic eyebrow at me. Yeah, I was still a terrible liar.

I attempted to stand up, but my legs refused to lift me. I looked away, slightly embarrassed. I hadn't been _that _injured. Kanda sighed long-sufferingly, and for once I couldn't blame him. I was pretty fed up with me, too.

It took us twenty minutes to get to land, at which point I was hammered out. They already had elephants waiting for us, and I had to be lifted into the seat because of my legs' sudden decision to take the night off. The Thais were awfully gracious about it, seeing as I'm less than a featherweight. While high up in the air, Lavi looked me over.

"Sheesh, what did you do, get in a fight with a-?"

"Yes," I sighed in answer before he could finish. He was at a loss for words for all of about a second before continuing, "Well, you have -"

"What about my sister?" I asked, turning the subject around. I was tired of being taken care of. Most usually I'm not against being waited on hand and foot, but I felt too manhandled to really care at the moment what, exactly, was the matter with me. Lavi changed gears faster than a well-oiled bike.

"She's got two burn marks, a scrape on her knee which was healed by a good ol' kiss from Uncle Allen, and a single puncture wound in one of her wings. Once she converts out of her invoked Innocence, she should still be fine even with the wounded wing. Knowing how fast Parasitics heal, she'll be right as rain in a few hours," he listed off, keeping a cheery outlook. All this happiness was going to make me diabetic. I didn't understand how they could keep it up.

Within minutes, I fell asleep. There's something about an elephant's shifting walk that's comforting.

* * *

I swore I was asleep for a total of five minutes before I was woken up again.

I shouted and flailed in the sheets, dazed and confused. The last thing I remembered was dreaming about a cotton-candy pink elephant goring a gingerbread man with tusks made out of peppermint while Lavi floated around in a tutu singing 'Tiptoe Through The Tulips' and playing a ukelele among my family of munchkins with a very pregnant, apron-wearing, barefoot me. I don't know what it was about that, but it terrified me. I think it was Lavi singing that did the trick. The pregnant part didn't help matters.

When I finally calmed down enough to actually realized I was _not _in Candyland being subjected to musical-based torture (or about to give birth to a soccer ball), I stared straight at a deadpan pair of older Exorcists, both whom I recognized and both whom I would rather not see again in the near future. From the looks on their faces, I'm going to guess that they were talking about something pretty darn serious before I'd interrupted.

"Good morning, Magnolia," Lavi stated rather simply, though he looked slightly dumbfounded with half a smile on his face. My face colored as Kanda glared at me, like it was my fault I'd chosen to wake up just then, and I blurted out, "I can go back to sleep if you want. I'm good at pretending that I'm asleep." The Japanese Exorcist rolled his eyes and walked out, slamming the door.

"Somebody _always _wakes up on the wrong side of the bed, apparently," I sighed. Parley squawked a rather rude word above me, and for once I had to agree with the bird.

"Don't mind him. He's pretty ticked about last night. He hadn't expected you to be able to take out a Level Three on your own, even if he did bat it around a bit first," Lavi said, almost fondly looking out the door. I raised an eyebrow. If I didn't know any better, I'd say the man was smitten, but so far he'd shown way too much interest in women to be infatuated with the same gender... I think.

"What, Grouchface's mad that I'm alive? Ouch. My feelings," I joked, though I was being slightly serious. That did sort of cause my heart to twinge in slight agony. No one's ever wanted me dead before. Well, anyone human, though I had my doubts about Kanda being a man at all. His comments last night still stung, too, so this wasn't a balm to my ears. I was beginning to get some conflicting signals from this guy - one second he's helpful and trying to give advice, the next he's disappointed I didn't get shafted with a spray of poisoned bullets.

"You call him Grouchface?" Lavi asked with a laugh, and my face drained of color. Oh crap, I'd said that out loud. I needed to stop doing that.

"So, uh, how is everything? How long was I out for?" I asked, steering the conversation topic into less shark-infested waters. Lavi seemed to take this sudden change quite in stride, and he said, "Things have settled down. You've been out for about a week -"

"A week!" I stared at him in disbelief. I frowned as I noticed a small smile slowly creep on his face, and I gave him my 'mother' face.

"You're pulling my leg, aren't you?" Lavi dissolved into laughter, and I rolled my eyes. I should've guessed. He and my Terrible Trio were birds of a feather.

"S-sorry, it was just... just too good an opportunity to pass up. It's been a couple of hours. The sun just came up," Lavi stated after he recovered from his sudden laugh spasm. I sighed as I looked out the window, watching the pine trees sway in the breeze. I honestly never thought I'd see pine trees on a beach, but I guess I had to forfeit my case.

"And Ava? How's she? Traumatized for life?" I asked, half-serious. I wouldn't blame my little sister if she never wanted to come out of her hut. A battlefield is no place for a four year old. Heck, a battlefield is no place for an eighteen-year-old translator, either, but I didn't have the 'hide' option, especially with that _man _as a teacher. Well, _men, _I should say, but the point still stands.

"Ava's doing pretty peachy keen, actually. Bookman just arrived about two hours ago, and they've been at each other like dogs over a bone. She keeps trying to set fire to his ponytail," Lavi stated, leaning back in his chair with a creak. I drew my legs up to my chest, wincing, and Lavi suddenly stood up.

"I wouldn't do that," Lavi suggested quietly, pulling on one of my legs back into its stretched out position. I frowned at him, confused, before I noticed that I had blood leaking out of my shirt.

"Oh. That's not good," I muttered. Before I could protest, Lavi lifted up the side of my shirt, and instinct sort of took over.

My hand stopped inches from his face, his other hand grabbing my wrist in an iron hold. My eyes widened as, first, I realized I'd just about smacked him and, second, he was practically crushing my wrist into a mess of bone powder and fleshy gelatin.

"H-hey, warn me before you try and take my clothes off!" I sassed, trying hard to keep my voice from sounding girlishly whiny and ultimately failing all together. Lavi rolled his good eye, and he pulled up my entire shirt tail. My face flushed as he noticed that there was a corset in the way (a girl should always wear a corset, no matter the occasion - I'd rather not let gravity have dominion over how much I sag when I'm older), and he said, "Flip over, would you? I need to get this off."

"How about... no?" I stated drily, with pursed lips. Lavi tilted his head to the side with a raised eyebrow.

"Do you want an infection?"

"Do you want a hand to surgically remove from your face?"

"I could catch it once. I think I can do it again." I pulled my wrist out of his grip, and I rubbed the sorely offended joint. Finally, I acquiesced and started to pick apart the strings in the back, but it was already a mass of tangles. Not to mention my arms were bandaged and hard to move with any dexterity, especially my right, dominant hand. Finally becoming impatient Lavi lightly slapped my hands away and started undoing the strings himself. Whistling low, he muttered, "Sheesh, were you in the navy or something? These knots are really tight." I winced as he pulled back the strings to get some more slack, and the whale-bone cage began shrinking my waist to straw-size.

"Easy, easy! Hippocratic oath and all, do more good than harm, ring any bells?" I coughed, and Lavi laughed hollowly. The sound grated on my ears. It was like a cat viciously clawing up a black board like it had done it personal injury. Something I'd said apparently _had _rung bells - big, obnoxious, painful bells that were best left to dust and ruin. It was quiet for quite a while before I asked, "So, what's all wrong with me, Doc? Any ideas?" Lavi pushed me to the bed gently, and I flopped down on my stomach so he could get a better look at the strings in the back.

"Oh, now you wanna hear my prognosis? Last night you were a little hesitant. Finally got the guts?" he asked in mock surprise, and I rolled my eyes. That was practically becoming habit. If I didn't quit, they might get stuck up there at the top of my eye sockets.

"Just tell me. I'm practically dying of anticipation," I grumbled, slinging one of my arms off the bed to dangle at the floor. I was surprised to find something furry under my hand, and I screamed, arching back into Lavi, and practically fell off the bed. He stiffened, trying to keep us from hitting the floor, and I flailed as I regained my balance.

"Mag, the more you flail the harder it's going to be -"

"AYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYI!" A fist suddenly flew past my face into a very surprised redhead as my sister burst in like some sort of 'knight in blinding armor.' That time, Lavi really _did _fall off the bed, bleeding from what I'm going to guess was a broken nose. I stared between the two of them, my mouth open in disbelief, as my brain picked up the pace.

"That's what you get, you creep! Trying to take off her clothes, pff..." Violet sniffed, crossing her arms in front of her chest. Lavi, dazed as he was, probably couldn't even hear at this point, and I gave Violet sarcastic applause.

"Good job, Vi. Good job. You beat off the big, bad scary monster," I muttered. Vi, unaffected as always, merely said a cheery, "Thank you! I like my work being appreciated."

"You realize he was trying to _help _me, not _rape _me, right?" Vi's happy look hardened into plaster on her face. Her eye twitched as she asked, "He was taking off your clothes, his nose is bleeding, and you screamed." Tip suddenly stuck his nose over the bed, snuffling so hard I'd thought he'd suck the sheets into both nostrils.

"Actually, she's bleeding and I'm trying to figure out if her wound opened. My nose was bleeding only after you socked me," Lavi grumbled nasally, sitting up with his hair practically a haystack. Violet's mask finally cracked into pieces, and she slumped with a dejected look.

"Aw, crap. Sorry, I thought you were trying to deflower my sister, though why you would want to is kind of beyond me -"

"_My feelings. Does no one care about them?_"

"- but then again, if you had that's your choice, not mine. But seeing as you didn't, that's fine. Do you need any help?" Violet was suddenly cheery again, and I slapped a hand on my face in mortification. Lavi, awestruck for the moment, finally found his tongue on the floor somewhere and stuck it back in his mouth.

"No, uh, I think I'm good. Though if you could get me some bandages, that would be good," Lavi said, and Violet, short hair and shorter _skirt_ and all, skipped off to find the aforementioned item.

"You can stop staring. Her butt's not at eye level anymore," I quipped, and Lavi wiped his nose. He looked at the blood with an annoyed grimace, and I suddenly felt bad. I knew she was being protective, but I still couldn't help but feel horrible that she'd gone and snapped his nose. I dabbed at it with one clumsy hand, and he winced as I jabbed too hard.

"Mag, I think _you're _breaking the Hippocratic oath. Besides, it's not that bad. It's just going to swell that's all. As long as I don't get scars..." Lavi muttered, going cross-eyed (I think) in an attempt to see his nose. I laughed, and I grabbed my ribs in pain.

"Ooooh, bad idea, bad idea," I moaned. Lavi, remembering the task at hand, finally cut off the strings with some surgical scissors rather than mess with them any longer. I was about to bemoan the loss of some really high-quality string before realizing just how geeky that sounded. Only I would whine about losing string.

Lavi sucked in a breath. I waited apprehensively.

"You'd already broken three ribs in the fight as well as got some burns on your face and arms. Luckily, the broken ribs didn't puncture anything and didn't have to be set. You had a couple other superficial wounds, but Bookman can get to those whenever he decides to get his lazy, old keister over here. Apparently we missed a rather large scrape. It was dark last night when we came back, and the lamp oil was almost gone so we didn't see it. It scabbed over a little bit, but when you began moving it crumbled and now blood's going everywhere. I'm glad I sent for those bandages," Lavi muttered, moving me to get a better look. I held tightly to the front of my corset, trying to keep some modesty, and I started to piece together what he'd said through the haze of 'I'm injured, what do I do, I'm injured, I'm going to die.'

"Wait. You didn't send those bandages for me?"

"What? No! Those were for me! I'm the one with the broken nose."

"I'm the one with the broken _ribs!__"_

"Ribs fix themselves, and you can't see them anyways. A broken nose looks absolutely horrible if you don't fix it right away, and it makes you look like a troll for the rest of your life unless you want it re-broken." He was worse than a woman, I swear. I groaned indignantly. After about thirty minutes of fussing with Violet and me, Lavi had me fixed up completely. All of my scrapes were covered with some sort of clear goo and a bandage, so one side of my cheek was covered completely in gauze and tape. Looking just as ridiculous, I'd fixed Lavi's nose and stuffed it with gauze as well as covered it with a long strip to hold my binding in place.

"You two look like you got into fights with elephants and lost," Violet snickered, and I rolled my eyes. My head was beginning to hurt. Two hours later, Bookman came in with Parley on his shoulder, and the old man fed him a small wafer.

"Aw, don't feed the bird. Then he's never going to leave me alone," I whined. Not like he didn't do that anyways, but now he had a legitimate reason to be a nuisance. Bookman only smiled mischievously and handed over another wafer to the bird while Ava trailed behind. He examined me closely, this time shooing off Lavi so he could look at me _very _thoroughly (an experience I will be loathe to repeat - there's nothing quite like handing over your modesty for the sake of medicine) and concluded that I would be fine in the next few months. Apparently I was still 'useful' by all accounts seeing as I could still run away if I was ever chased, though the state of my lungs screamed otherwise. As he walked out, the old man with the question-mark ponytail and eyeliner looked up at Lavi, shook his head, and walked off while Lavi sheepishly stood by the door.

"What now? Do I stay in bed like a lump, or are we actually going to do something today?" I asked. Lavi suddenly cracked a smile.

"I thought you'd never ask."

* * *

"Lavi, this isn't a good idea."

"Oh, come on, you'll be perfectly fine! It'll be fun, really."

"No, I'm serious. This is a _really _bad idea."

"What, you don't trust me?"

"No."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence."

"I try."

I scuffled my feet, feeling naked. I'd asked Bookman if it was okay for me to be doing rigorous activity, and he'd given me an odd look before stating that it was fine. Lavi had been standing next to me, looking awfully mischievous while I stood there and looked awfully _awkward_. And now, I was standing here, half-naked, being waited on. I hated being waited on. It made me feel rude. This, _however, _I wasn't sure about. _This _was going into dangerous territory. Literally.

The waterfall loomed, and Lavi's outline shimmered behind it. The waterfall pounded loudly, practically drowning all of my words.

"What's so important in there, anyways?" I asked. I'd taken off most of my layers so that I wouldn't end up bogged down. I was getting used to the idea of wearing less and less clothes, but I still felt awfully exposed. Water splashed over my feet, and spray practically bathed me. My layers were beginning to turn sheer, and I shifted my feet uncomfortably. I was starting to slip on this wet rock here in the middle of the river.

The waterfall was a good twenty feet tall, spilling off of an overly vegetated ridge. Above, there was blue, clean sky poking between fronds from the trees. This river ran down quite a ways, and it took Lavi and I about an hour to reach this spot by horse. On either side, I was practically swallowed by water, most of which was luckily only about neck deep. The water was a slightly murky greenish blue, and I was tentative of stepping on algae, though the waterfall beat most of the stubborn stuff off the rocks around the water fall. The rock spur I stood on was completely free of the green slime, but the end went directly behind the waterfall, and I had nowhere to go. Going back meant staying with the horses, of whom I'm already wary, and the monkeys that were probably sniffing and stealing my clothes.

"Just the most amazing thing on the planet!" Lavi shouted back through the waterfall, and I rolled my eyes at his exaggerated impatience. The guy was hammier than most swine. Through the sheet of water I could see a faint touch of red where his outline stood, one hip cocked with bouncing anticipation. I stepped back, shifting from foot to foot. My stomach filled with dread, and I groaned inwardly. That waterfall was putting out a lot of water... What happened if I ended up breaking a leg along with my ribs? Kanda would probably make me run with a broken leg. He told me to run with a cracked ribcage, after all. Finally making up my mind I shut my eyes and ran headlong through the waterfall.

Roaring filled my ears for all of about a minute, and I was completely soaked from head to toe, but once I emerged on the other side I stared. I think my eyes achieved the size of dinner plates along with several different tea plates and a dessert bowl for good measure.

"Uh... wow," I whispered, the roar of the waterfall echoing with my voice. Ahead of me, a massive cave presented itself with such magnificence as to leave me dumbfounded. The cave wasn't the most amazing part, however - it was the hundreds of miniature Buddha statues raised on natural steps throughout the entire cave that practically deprived my lungs of air. Lavi stuck an arm over my shoulder and stated nasally through his plugged nose, "See? What'd I tell ya?" I walked forwards, careful of the algae. The rock suddenly ended, leaving a massive pool of dark water. I stood there, neurotic mind going over all the sorts of creepy, blind cave fish and crabs down at the bottom as Lavi suddenly vaulted past me and pulled off a cannonball, soaking me with another dose of river water. My hair straggled in my face, and I dripped like a faucet.

"Thanks," I muttered, wiping hair out of my immediate line of sight. Lavi laughed, the sound reverberating around the cave. It was probably fifty feet tall with a domed top, stepped on the inside with cracks and fissures. Bats seemed absent, probably because of the blocked entrance, and everything was eerily quiet save for the sound of the waterfall pounding not five feet behind me. I stared up at the faces of a hundred Buddhas, all sitting in a lotus position with their hands serenely placed in their laps or with a single hand up as if they were a student waiting to be called on by some absent teacher. Most of them were worn by water, and a few of them were crumbling to nothing. All of them sat in rows around us, seeming for the all world like tiny, little people staring in at the person standing on the rock spur leading in from the waterfall.

"Why don't you come in? The water's fine," Lavi suggested with a wave of his hand, and I looked dubiously into the water. There were about a thousand and one diseases people could contract from just stepping foot into _clean-_looking water. I was a little bit skeptical of this sort, and I sat down on the edge of the rock, dipping my toe in reluctantly. Out near the 'shore', for lack of a better word, Lavi sat on a natural rock shelf. His feet dangled in the water, and the light reflected in strange diamond patterns on his stark-white legs. After much yelping, complaining, and all around fussing, I managed to make my way over to him without taking on any unwanted passengers. If he hadn't had the plugs in his nose, he would've looked downright contemplative and dark, but I couldn't exactly take him seriously with two pieces of gauze sticking out of his nostrils. Bookman had set his nose for him, and already he was getting the telltale bruises underneath his eyes from the pooling blood of a broken proboscis.

"Why so serious?" I asked, shaking off a piece of algae that stuck to my toe. "You look like someone just shot your dog." I'd had that happen to me before - luckily the dog survived, but I was less than pleased with the vet bill. That was enough to make anybody fall over dead.

"Just... thinking. I, uh, I have something to tell you, actually. I didn't take you here so you could just gawk," Lavi said, slightly chuckling, still very nasally but clearly uncomfortable. I frowned at him. He'd wanted to get me alone. Getting me alone was never good. I felt my gut respond accordingly, and it sucked itself back into black hole mode. Lavi must've seen it in my face. He shook his head with what he probably thought was a reassuring smile and what _I _thought was an awkward grimace.

"It may, uh... it may take us longer than expected to train you. It will be probably twelve to thirteen months before you'll end up with your family again," Lavi said, scratching the back of his head. I stared at him in disbelief. He... He wasn't serious. I'd spoken to him on the boat to Phuket about this. They'd said five months! An entire year... My lungs suddenly seemed to cease functioning, or at the least the air quit offering oxygen, and Lavi put a hand on my shoulder as I started to hyperventilate.

"T-twelve... twelve months?" I squeaked, my voice ringing around the cave. All the Buddhas seemed to laugh at my exponentially growing worries as they stared at us, and I leaned back against the rock.

"No... no, no, no, I can't do more than a couple of months. I mean... am I really that horrible? What do I need to do? Run more, swim more, eat less, actually _listen _when Kanda talks to me - Ow! Stop doing that!" I protested as I was given a swift slap to the leg. I was getting tired of being hit. It seemed like I was everyone's punching bag these days.

"Sorry. You were starting to freak out. I was afraid you might accidentally shove me off. You were talking with your hands," Lavi stated. Guiltily, I looked away. That was true - I had Italian in me somewhere, I think. I put my head in my hands, suddenly overwhelmed. A _year... _A year without Lily, without Bastian and Erastus, without Ava, without _Violet. _My mind couldn't comprehend it. My siblings were like my legs and arms. The one mission I'd done away from them had practically torn me apart. How was I supposed to survive an entire year without my family closer than a street or a town?

"Hey, hey, hey, you're going to be fine. Look, it's nothing to do with you or your performance. We've just got a lot of byways to go through right now - there are some... some things Kanda and I were talking about this morning. There have been some complications, and we especially will be gone for quite a while," Lavi said, a strange look crossing his face. I took a deep, shuddering breath.

"I can always call them, right? With the golems?" I asked, and Lavi nodded.

"Any time of day, they can connect you with them, though of course if they don't _want _to be connected they can shut them off." That would probably be 'most of the time' because I'll nag them every day. It's force of habit, and you know what they say about habits. Rubbing the bridge of my nose, I tries to keep off the feeling of abject panic . I couldn't help but feel that just about everybody I knew or loved was walking away from me. It's a selfish thought, but it was what happened to be clinging to my mind like an ever-growing tick, leaching off my worry.

Suddenly, something flew straight through the curtain of water and hovered in the middle of the spacious cave. I looked up in surprise as a golem fluttered right in front of our faces. Talk about 'speak of the devil.' The golem seemed frantic, practically smacking us in the face as it tried to get our attention. Lavi waved at it and asked, "What do you want, you overgrown mechanical insect?" The golem seemed to take offense at that, turning around and hovering irately. I rolled my eyes, and I poked it. Surprised, it fluttered back to facing us, and a recorded message began to play.

"Hello? Hello? Is this thing recording? Oh! Okay!" I frowned, and Lavi looked grim.

"That's Allen. And there's a lot of background noise," he muttered, suddenly becoming very serious. It was true - I could hear sounds of destruction, and Allen was speaking softly as if he was trying to hide.

"The resort's been attacked. I think the Akuma from last night have come back. I'm not sure - I didn't seem much last night, so I don't know. Either way, we need you guys, pronto. I'm trying to evacuate as many of the villagers as possible, but we're running out of fighters. Violet's been injured, and Ava can't fight with her punctured wing. Please hurry." My face drained of blood, and I felt lightheaded. Lavi's hand steadied me with a firm grip on my shoulder as I began to sway.

"It looks like our departure's going to be a lot sooner than anticipated. Here - we'll use Tensui. It'll be a lot faster," Lavi said, simultaneously whipping out his Innocence and commanding it to extend. I managed to get my brain back into my cranium long enough to realize we were flying... _again. _I _hated _flying. Twice in the same twenty-four hour period might be more than my heart could take.

"Come on, they need us," Lavi said, standing on top of it with unbelievable dexterity. I sighed deeply as I reluctantly swung a leg over the handle and gripped it.

"Alright. Ready," I stated glumly. Lavi looked down at me and smirked.

"Aww, don't be like that. It'll be fun!"

Liar.

Suddenly, we shot off, and I gritted my teeth as I was soaked. Within fifteen minutes of gut-wrenching terror, we were back at the resort-turned-battlefield. I momentarily wondered what we were going to do about the horses when something suddenly whizzed past my head and I shouted, "WHOA!" A cannon ball the size of a baby started its downward journey into the jungle beyond, and I realized we were being targeted.

"Lavi... I think it'd be a good time to put down now," I said, a note of worry edging my voice. Lavi said, "Good idea!"

I was suddenly lifted off and thrown into the open air. I was so stunned, I didn't even realize what was happening until I started falling. I contorted my face into one of anger as I shouted, "NOT WHAT I -"

* * *

**A/N: **Yet another chapter. I'm actually pretty happy how this turned out (though it's very Mag-centric).

Thanks to sammi117 and Yananinja for their input on the story!

Thanks also to sammi117 for subscribing.

Ah... that's all I've got for the Recognition section. Crud.

So, in that case, let's just skip straight to the discussion: _Mag is an OC, obviously - do you think there should be some sort of switch to a different character? Would a character shift in point of view would be confusing? Should there be a larger percentage of canon characters? Is the concept well-conceived? Are there any other things that would make this story definitely better? __Are the battle sequences done well? What do you think the atmosphere of the story is?_

God bless and happy reading!


	7. A Crash Course In Bad Luck

It took me a few moments to reorient myself. Being dropped from twenty feet tends to cause some minor difficulties in the mental department.

I'd crashed through several layers of reed, landing in a hut. The broken ribs in my side grated, and it might have been my imagination, but I think they were emitting small screams. Of course, that could've been me. I wasn't exactly in my happy place.

He'd dropped me off at my hut. I could tell from just how neat it was - at least, from the parts I could see. The undamaged portions of the hut were orderly, but the trashed part was, well, obviously, trashed. I'd hit a wicker couch, and it had broken in half on impact. I winced as I rolled off of it, hitting the floor and sending up a puff of wood dust. I coughed in pain, curling up before getting to my knees. The sounds of battle echoed outside, and I realized that at this moment I was on a battlefield alone.

My heart started a marathon race it wasn't going to finish. Sweat drenched me like rain, and I had the urge to crawl underneath the ruins of the couch and stay there until the fight was over. I wanted to hide like the little coward I was. I didn't want to die. I also didn't want to be injured any further. I just wanted to be out of here. I was hardly cut out for a job as a fighter in God's Army. I had nerves of wet noodle, muscles like jam, and bones as brittle as stale bread. It was a feat that I wasn't dead yet.

That wasn't an option, though. My family was somewhere out here. My selfish little mind contemplated staying put all the same and letting them go off on their own, but the maternal monster within ate that part of me wholesale. I shuddered and stood up, brushing off bits of shrapnel stiffly. I was covered in a ton of scratches, but otherwise I was fine besides the wounds I'd already had. After checking myself over, I walked to a window and looked out into the mayhem.

Smoke wafted over most everything, and I frowned. Akuma roamed, most of them Level Ones, and fires had broken out. It looked like all of the inhabitants of the resort were gone, so that left just us.

This time I wasn't going to have Kanda save me at the last minute. Lavi wasn't going to pop around some corner to bash an Akuma's head in. Violet was nowhere in sight to speed me to safety if I got hurt. I was completely on my own. There was a good chance I'd die. If I didn't die, I'd be injured. If I didn't get injured, I'd be the luckiest civilian/soldier on the planet. I rubbed my temples, trying to ease my raging mind, but it only seemed to make my head sore.

I realized that Lavi had dropped me into my hut for a reason. I hadn't taken my Innocence with me. What a clever little git. I winced as Kanda's words rung around in my head. Maybe if I'd taken it with me, I wouldn't be in so much pain. That stupid redhead wouldn't have had to drop me off in the most literal way possible. I searched through the rubble as quietly as I could manage, keeping an ear out for the telltale 'whoosh' of a passing Akuma. Level Ones were easy - they tended to stay still whenever they fired, unless the target was moving. Otherwise, it was like smashing eggs with a giant mallet. Level Twos were craftier, and I needed help trying to take those down and not end up horribly maimed. My scrapes were exhibit A of that occurrence.

I found my Innocence near what was left of my baggage. I sighed, glad that I only took a couple of days' worth of clothes with me. It wasn't a great loss, though my Swedish romance novels were demolished. I picked up a few more things, mostly trinkets, before standing in front of the door of my hut. Here was the moment of truth. Was I in or was I out?

I didn't get a chance to decide. An Akuma decided to come crashing through the house for no apparent reason other than for the joy of tearing something apart. Just my luck that it was _my _hut, but I needed to get out of here anyways. I considered it a good reason to turn tail and run.

"Don't kill me, don't kill me, don't kill me," I muttered as I ducked out of the collapsing hut, the Level One silently firing at the small structure with what I thought was probably quiet glee. Level Ones didn't make too much noise, thank goodness, besides their Gatling gun _ratatatatatata. _As I ran, it seemed like the distance between me and my destination, a crumbling wall, was getting longer and longer.

After what seemed like an eternity and a day, I managed to skid behind it, uncoiling my whip and wondering if I'd forgotten anything. Oddly enough, it nagged on me more that I might forget something in that hut than finding sufficient cover. My brain has odd priorities. I looked around carefully, taking in surroundings. I could see the main building was nothing but a pile of pebbles, most of the huts were either Swiss cheese or a stack of pick-up sticks, and the shoreline was behind a long stand of trees. I had no idea where the rest of my teammates were, and I started to panic again.

I stuck my head between my knees, trying to calm down. I couldn't just crumble apart like bad mortar every time I ended up alone on the battlefield. I needed a goal to keep me oriented, or else I was going to kill myself with sheer nervousness. And my family being out here, possibly by themselves... My stomach immediately returned to black hole mode, and I felt the urge to throw up. It was too easy to get killed out here.

"Fee, fi, fo, fum, hahahahahahahaaa." I went stiff. That was most definitely not human. In fact, that sounded downright demonic. Sweat dripped off my nose and onto the ground, and I started to shake. I'd never fought something by myself. I'd never even _tried _to fight something by myself. I bit my lip, attempting control. Blood dribbled down my chin as my teeth cut through the skin, and it fell on my leg, mingling with more blood from some wound I'd reopened. My eyes pricked with tears as I curled up into a ball.

"Where oh where you be, little Exorcist? I remember seeing you fall from the sky like an angel. A little angel, hmhmhm. You know, I hear angels taste delicious. You just rip them apart piece by piece until you get to the really juicy parts..." I could feel fetid breath at my arm, and I almost whimpered. I covered my mouth with my hand, gripping my whip with the other. I couldn't hit it at close range. All that would do is give me a gash on my face from flailing it against myself instead of my target.

"Come out, come out, where ever you are..."

Everything happened like lightning running through molasses. I knew it must be going by in seconds, but everything moved so slowly in my head that it was like someone had stuck us in some sort of syrupy medium. I ran, putting space between me and the Level Two, a massive hunk of metal with a pair of metal jaws the size of an automobile. I swung back my whip, getting in a ready stance, and I jerked it forwards. Instinct did the rest as my brain fought to keep up with my adrenaline-drunk body, and the whip circled around the muzzle of the Akuma before I yanked backwards, snapping it shut.

After that, the syrupy medium we were in abruptly decided to cease to exist, and everything went back to normal. I felt oddly empowered as well as terrified. I'd actually done something. That was a first.

Sweat dripped down my back and my sides as my ribs screamed in pain, and my other assorted cuts and bruises shouted protests in the form of overloading nerves. I tried to keep a hold on the Akuma trying to break my hold on its mouth, and it whipped its muzzle back and forth, trying to shake the whip loose like a dog getting off a leash. I yanked backwards, feeling my arm suddenly give out, and I screamed as my remaining arm was almost jerked out of its socket.

"Oh no you don't," I grumbled. "I'm not dying today."

"I bet you aren't." My eyes widened as several somethings whizzed past me. Smoke bombs went off, and I coughed, unable to wave it away with my other arm while the one holding the whip was occupied. My eyes stung, and I felt like I was breathing in glass. Suddenly, I was knocked off my feet, and my head spun as I tried to put together what had happened.

I blacked out from the pain for all of a second, a blissful second I will admit, but I came back just as fast and immediately started screaming as my ribs clashed. My brown hair dangled in my face as an Akuma that looked like a demonic version of a tapeworm crawled up to me, the jawed Akuma sauntering over. I tried to get up, but it slammed itself down on the ground like a hammer, raising up dust and debris. I coughed as I scrambled to get away, knowing I was going to be crushed to death if I didn't, and the jawed Akuma tried to clamp its massive mandibles around my ankle. I whipped it in the face from my position on the ground, and it yelped. The Demonic Tapeworm merely swayed as it considered its next move.

I didn't give it a chance to think. I got up and ran. I had no reason to stay. My mother had told me that running away was always an option.

That should've been telling to me, but I didn't have time to dwell on it as my feet abused the ground.

I slid behind a tree, leaning against it as I wheezed. I hadn't run so much in my life. Wait... that was a lie. Kanda made me run that 10 kilometers. I _had _run this much in my life. I just hadn't ever had to run this fast. I peered around the tree. The Akuma were seconds away from my hiding place, and I cursed. I started running again, dodging through the trees as the Akuma crashed through them instead. Their size made it harder for them to get through the forest of pines, and for that I was grateful. In the distance, I could see a person, and my heart jumped.

I'd know that white hair anywhere.

Suddenly invigorated with hope, I sprinted as fast as my body would allow, and Allen caught sight of me. He suddenly started to wave his hands, and I waved back in reply. Funnily enough, he started waving them even harder, and he was trying to say something to me, but I had no idea what it was. The breakers behind him were amazingly loud. Perhaps he was glad to see me -?

Just as I got past the tree line, I was blindsided by somebody, and I groaned in pain. The Akuma that had been trailing me suddenly burst through the trees, and their inertia must have kept them going. They headed straight for the white-haired Exorcist trying to meet them head on as fast as he could, and -

A massive roar filled the air. I was suddenly showered with sand, body parts, and blood. I shook like a leaf as I realized what had just happened. Allen looked just as shocked, thrown back several feet by the wave of energy emitted by the landmine. Everything seemed to be running on mute before I realized that I couldn't hear a single thing. I was deaf as a post. Erastus swam into my line of sight, and he tried to talk to me. I frowned, shaking my head as I pointed to my ears. He stopped, and I guess he realized that, even if I had spoken, he was deaf, too. We both tried to stand, but the world kept tilting and dumping us on our posteriors. Allen didn't seem nearly as bad, searching the sand for more mines as he headed towards us.

Eventually, my hearing came back, and I stood up with Allen's help. Erastus used me as his crutch, and he said, "Are you stupid or something? Didn't you see Allen waving his arms like a maniac? Geez, Mag, you're thick." I shook my head, hardly having time to be annoyed.

"Sorry. I was preoccupied with saving my life," I grumbled. I checked myself over mentally. Head? Check. Legs? Check. Arms? Uh, half-check. Torso? Check. I was all in one piece. That was always something to celebrate about.

"You couldn't have fought the Akuma behind you?" Allen asked irately, and I snapped my head to look at him, suddenly a bit miffed. However, the look on his face suddenly brought back a rather important tidbit of info.

_"I see the souls of the Akuma. It's what allows me to distinguish who's human and who isn't. It's actually quite handy, but... at times it is very inconvenient." _My sour reaction dulled down as I started to realize what had happened. Akuma who were killed by anything other than Innocence had their souls destroyed with the body. The two that had just died from the landmine...

"Oh... I, uh, I pulled something in this arm. I couldn't move it and I panicked," I said, quickly trying to recover. I pointed to the injured arm. I tried to raise it, but all it did was jerk and spasm before I gave up on it. Allen turned it over quickly in his hands, the monocle over his cursed eye spinning as it started recalibrating. I'd seen it in action, and once I'd come too near. I just about lost my lunch. The world had suddenly turned black and white, and my head started spinning after a while. Allen's world was a freakshow of monsters, and I was already paranoid as it was. That hadn't helped me any.

"You must've pulled or overworked a muscle. Seeing as you're not crying, I don't think you pulled anything. It should be fine in a little while," Allen said, obviously distracted. His young face looked drawn, and pity ate away at my heart. Someone so young shouldn't have to know about all this.

"We'd better get to the docks. We're supposed to be meeting everyone down there," Erastus said, working his jaw with a single hand. He cricked his neck, and I winced at the popping noises.

"Stop that. That's disgusting," I whined. Erastus stuck out his tongue as he followed behind Allen. I rolled my eyes in response, and I brought up the rear.

We hit a few hot spots for activity on our way to the docks. Several were just pockets of Level Ones harassing the surviving refugees, and they were easy to take out. A few were Level Twos, but Allen had a handle on that. He was so good at what he did, I could've sworn that he had a brain inside of that arm of his. The eye probably made it a lot easier to attack with certainty. Midway through our trek, we caught up with Lavi, who was carrying a rather dazed Lily.

"Oh Lord," I gasped as I skidded to a stop in front of the redhead. I managed to be so worried, I'd completely forgotten that he'd practically killed me. That was probably a good thing for him, seeing as I'd been entertaining thoughts of his demise while we were walking.

"Don't worry. She just got a bump on the head about ten minutes ago. She's completely fine; she just has some balance issues," Lavi said, chuckling. I sighed in relief, and the aforementioned thoughts of torture sprang back to the front of the priority line. I stared at Lavi with narrowed eyes, and he smiled, guilty as a thief with his hand in the cookie jar.

"She has balance issues when her head is _un-_bumped_._ She's used to it," I growled as I watched Lily crack open an eye to look at me before closing it and trying to feign sleep. I poked her under the armpit, and she squealed before laughing.

"Maggie, that's not fair! I'm ticklish!" Lily burst out. She gasped as she realized that she'd blown her cover, and she drooped suddenly. I stared at her blankly before I commanded in a flat tone, "Drop her." _That _got her moving. Miraculously, she was able to walk again, quickly going towards Allen and making chit-chat. I shook my head and looked heavenward, probably to ask God how he managed to make such a trying girl.

We'd only gone a couple hundred feet when Lavi glanced at me surreptitiously. I barely caught it out of the corner of my eye, but I decided to ignore it for now. I'd let him stew for a bit longer. In the meantime, I'd act like he didn't exist. That was a better alternative than gripping him by the neck and trying to throttle the daylight out of him.

"Erastus, where's Bastian?" I asked, suddenly realizing that his twin was nowhere in sight. My stomach cramped at the look on Erastus' face. Rusty tended to get that look whenever someone asked a question he didn't really have an answer for, and I squeaked, "You lost him!" He grimaced.

"N-not exactly. We split up, because, uh... because Vi snapped her wrist," Erastus said, speeding through the latter part of his sentence. Luckily, I had a tape recorder locked away in my brain, and I played it back at half-speed. Usually when Erastus speaks like a chipmunk, it's because something bad's happe -

Snapped... her... wrist...

Blood drained out of my face, and everything started to go fuzzy. Nightmare scenarios, each one more unrealistic and gory than the last, sped through my mind on a camera reel. Hands clamped around my arms, and I was slowly shaken out of my thoughts. Erastus looked at me with a concerned stare.

"Hey, hey, hey, she's fine, I swear. She just went to get fixed up at the docks. It might only be sprained, anyways. Allen said that we should gather there, and he can just poof us back to Bangkok. He didn't open a Ark gate before because he'd never been here, but he can go back now," Erastus explained, and I felt my stomach start to release dominion of the rest of my organs. Okay... okay, good. That meant she was probably safe, and that we were going to make it out of here alive.

"Mr. Fluffins... oh, Mr. Fluffins! Meow, meow! Where are you, Mr. Snuffi-Luffi-Fluffins? Meow, meow, meow! Come on, Mama's right here. Oh no... oh no, I can't find him! Where is he? What if we leave him behind? OHMIGOSH. " I palmed my forehead as Lily suddenly started cooing in search of her cat. The little mangy ball of irate fur was probably hiding in the jungle. No doubt, he'd been following us for the past half-mile, and he refused to come out until he was absolutely sure that the smoke had blown over. Dogs and cats had a unique ability to sense when danger was coming or going. If Tip and Fluffers head for the hills, you can almost bet that I'm right on their tails behind them.

"Lily, it's no use. You might as well be calling for a log to come up to you," I shouted in response to her meowing for her cat. Erastus snickered as Lily just about tripped over a piece of driftwood. I elbowed him with a slight grin, and he shrugged.

"Take humor where you can find it. That stuff's not cheap," he said. I scoffed in agreement. If that wasn't the truth. These days, humor was scarce as hen's teeth hidden in gold hair stuck in an ivory tower unless it came in the gallows version.

"Guys, heads up! Akuma at ten o' clock!" Allen shouted, and my brain was a bit on the slow side with a response. Hold the phone, ten o' clock - where was my ten o' clock? I mean, noon was in front of me, so that meant that ten o' clock was to my right.

Oh.

A gun pointed in my face before a hammer smashed straight through it. I snapped out of it as I flung my whip with a scream. The wire sliced through the gun attachment on the Level Two's shoulder, and the gun spray went wide. Erastus, calm as a beach on a sunny day, slammed Censer on its head, and a dent appeared as a foul, green smoke enveloped the thing. It screamed as it writhed inside the green fog, and Erastus shouted, "Keep back! It's acidic!" Everyone immediately dodged the cloud of gas. I hastily backpedaled as a breeze gusted some of the foul concoction towards me, and I tripped over the same driftwood branch that Lily had just avoided, and I went down. I covered my mouth with my good hand as I rolled over, already knowing it'd be too late to try and scramble away.

"Mag! Wait, what- ? Aw, really? You have to be kidding me," I heard Allen grumble before footsteps crunched the ground towards me.

"Keep your hand over your mouth, please, Mag. I don't think it would be fun for you to breathe in this stuff. It already tastes foul as it is. Blech! Sour," Allen complained as he picked me up. I could already feel the acid stinging my nose and my eyes, though not enough that it felt like it was eating my skin. I could feel a peculiar tingling on my scalp, though, and that was starting to worry me. Momentarily, I was amazed at just how strong Allen was for being so young - I was probably a good twenty pounds heavier than he was. He seemed to carry me without too much effort, and I suddenly felt disheartened. How the heck was _I _supposed to shape up?

The air turned clear, and I opened my eyes. All of our assorted tagalongs stared at the two of us with raised eyebrows, and I suddenly wondered if the acid _had _eaten our skin.

Suddenly, they burst out into laughter. I frowned as I looked at Allen, and immediately, I squeaked.

Our hair was a frazzled, burned mess. His, at least, was already short as it was - it wasn't so drastic on his part. Allen grimaced as he looked down at me, and I knew it was bad.

"Well... it'll always grow back, right?" Allen said, and I squirmed out of his grasp. I felt my hair with my good hand, and my fingers did not bode good news. A good chunk of my hair was gone, most of it a crumbled, black dust, and it was uneven in a lot of places.

"Y-you can t-t-try out for the p-part of a clown! Ahahaha! You'd be a shoo-in!" Erastus guffawed, and I narrowed my eyes.

Magically, Erastus somehow ended up on the ground curled into a ball. I wonder how he could've ended up like that. Huh.

The boys inched away from me as I stomped off towards the docks. I'd had enough abuse for one day. First my arm, now my hair, next the rest of my dignity. My day wasn't going to get much worse at this point. We continued towards the dock, and I took the lead for once. I was determined to leave as soon as possible. I didn't want to stay here for longer than necessary. Phuket hadn't given me good memories.

At the dock Kanda, Violet, Ava, and Sebastian were already at the dock. I sagged with relief upon seeing three of my siblings. Erastus immediately ran for his brother, and the two did a complicated man-handshake. Kanda scoffed as I walked up to Violet, who was looking guilty. I ignored the sheepish look and hugged her tight. She hugged back and then gagged.

"Ugh, gross! Mag, you smell disgusting! And... what happened to your hair? It looks like you took a weed whacker to it. Look at that! Did someone get you with a flamethrower or something?" I deadpanned, staring over her shoulder with a twitching eye. I held her out at arm's length. She looked none the worse for wear. Her hair was in disarray, though that wasn't anything new, and she had a few splotches of ash on her face. I licked a finger and started rubbing at them almost unconsciously, and she reacted accordingly (meaning, she screamed and protested like a cat in the tub). Her clothes were damaged, but there wasn't anything that Erastus couldn't fix with a needle and thread.

That was Erastus' dirty little secret. He was a seamstress. It's the only reason we could still use thirteen year old hand-me-downs.

"Maaaaaaaaaag! Stop it! That's so nasty when you do that! Spit is not a good cleaning fluid!" Violet complained as I wiped off the last smudge.

"How'd you snap your wrist?" I asked, looking back to Allen and the twins, who were talking among themselves. Violet glanced off towards the ocean over my shoulder, and she looked hesitant. Oh boy. This was going to be good.

"Um... Well, you see... I was fighting, you know? And I was doin' my whole... whole skating thing..." She lifted her skates with her good hand, and I nodded.

"And... there was this _smokin' hot _guy, and -" I rolled my eyes, already knowing where this was going. Violet could be a little bit man-crazy. Of all the times to be cataloging potential dates... Violet threw up her hands at my reaction.

"See! This is why I didn't want to tell you! Besides, I think it's just sprained. I didn't hurt it that bad," she said, holding up the damaged wrist. I turned it over in my own hands, pressing and prodding. I frowned as she winced, biting my lip. It was most definitely swollen, but I'd have to take her to a doctor to make sure that it was truly sprained rather than broken. Joint breaks were very difficult to recover from, and untreated breaks could get messy. More than one Finder found that out the hard way.

"Hey, Mag, it's time to go!" Allen shouted, and I looked down towards the end of the dock. He had an Ark gate open, and I felt the little hairs on my arms raise in apprehension. I hated these things. They always gave me this bad feeling in my gut, but then again, the Ark was Noah technology. I wasn't exactly fond of the Noah to begin with, and my paranoia didn't help matters. Already, several of my family members went through the gate, and I sighed to myself as I began to follow behind. As if out of thin air, my dog, my cat, and my parrot zoomed past me as fast as they could run, flap, or lope towards the gate. Well, _they _had the right idea. I was dragging my feet. After actually _stopping _I wasn't too keen on shuffling my feet. I was already sore as it was.

"KANDA, HEADS UP!" I turned in surprise as Lavi shouted from the gate. Kanda was all the way back near the tree line, probably checking something out, when something distinctly leonine burst out of the forest and straight into him. The sound they made hitting each other reminded me of a body smacking into a boulder. I grimaced at the noise, shivers running up my spine.

Kanda, however, seemed perfectly fine as he calmly stood up and dusted himself off. He removed his sword, activated it, and began the fight with the Level Two. I groaned as I unclipped Wire from my belt, and I shuffled over.

"Mag, go back home. You'll just be in the way," Kanda said off-handedly as he drew a slash at the Akuma. It leaped out of reach, and it chuckled.

"Yes, little Exorcist. Run home with your tail between your legs." My eye twitched. I was beginning to get annoyed with the fact everyone thought I was incompetent. Even this stupid dead cat-thing was telling me I wasn't worth fighting. It was getting old. I'd already taken out several Akuma by myself in the past few days - I think I had the ability to take just one more.

"Oh, whatever," I grumbled as I slung Wire over the Akuma's head and snapped it. The resounding noise broke its concentration on Kanda, and he charged into the opening with sword at the ready. He stabbed it in the shoulder, but the Akuma was faster than anticipated. It somehow managed to get _behind _me, and I was standing a good fifteen yards away on the pier. I shrieked as I dodged a paw swipe to the waist, and I gave it a strike to the hip - and accidentally caught a running Kanda in the leg. I winced at my mistake as he suddenly stumbled on the pier, a little bit shocked.

"Sorry," I said as I backed away from the Akuma that was swiping at me with its paws. Every now and again, it seemed to teleport to a new location around us, and we were having difficulty pinning it down.

"This is getting annoying. And I'm getting sand in my cut. You idiot, I told you to go home!" Kanda griped from behind me, and I glared at him.

"Hey! That was an honest mistake - WHOA!" Claws snapped the air just in front of my face before the Akuma disappeared again. It was slowly corralling us onto the pier, and I sighed. I hated being cornered. At least we had a getaway on the other end. Abruptly, I noticed that the Ark gate was gone, and Allen was nowhere in sight. Even _Lavi _had left us. My eye twitched.

"Those little - they abandoned us!" I grumbled under my breath as I took on my frustration on the nuisance plaguing us. I knew that Akuma were supposed to be big, scary, fearmongering machines, but this one was just getting on my nerves. It seemed no matter what we did, we couldn't get a bead on it, and I was getting pretty tired as it was. I swung my whip again, and I hit a tree. It fell over as Wire passed through it like a, well, wire through cheese.

"Yeah. They were probably scared off by your impromptu hair cut. You do that yourself?" Kanda jabbed, and I elbowed him from behind.

Unfortunately, the Akuma took that exact moment to take a bite at Kanda, and he almost didn't have time to block it with his sword. I screamed as I reached around and tried to whip it in the face, but all I did was put a cut in the boards of the pier.

"Kanda! Careful!" a voice called, and I looked around, distracted, as Allen's voice resounded somewhere. The Akuma teleported again, and this time he _did _hit something. I said some rather choice, very not-family-friendly words as claws raked my thigh. I whipped it across the back before it could disappear, and Kanda stabbed it in the foot with his sword. Ha! It yanked at the sword pinning it to the pier, and I didn't lose time whipping it to death. It took me a good three or four minutes, but I managed to cut straight through it.

Kanda looked at me with a rather blank stare.

"You're pathetic." I took a deep breath and tried to replace all those thoughts of strangling the man next to me with images of puppies, flowers, and cute grannies. It wasn't worth it to get into a fight with him. He yanked his sword out of the pier, and suddenly there was a groaning noise. I frowned as the noise got louder, and I realized it was coming from underneath us. I looked over to Kanda's feet, and my eyes widened.

"Uh oh." When I'd whipped the Akuma to death, I'd missed plenty of times, and it had... sort of... eaten through the wide board we were standing on. That creaking noise must be the wood beneath our feet snapping.

Oh.

_SPLASH._

"Have I mentioned that _you're pathetic?_" Kanda struggled as he floundered in the water. I spat out sea water, and I tried to tread, but my arms and legs were already tired as it was.

"Not my fault! You never taught me to aim!" I said, trying to pin the blame on someone else. Okay, so maybe I am a bit pathetic. It wasn't my intention to send us into the water! Kanda suddenly went under, and I let out a sharp scream as I grabbed for him. He clung to me like a wet cat and spluttered. I made a face as seawater got into my face, and I complained, "Quit that! I don't need your spit all over me." He flailed as I let go, and I realized something.

He'd never gone swimming with me in the pool. He'd never once stepped foot in water while we were at the beach. Heck, I don't even know if he took baths. He couldn't swim. He must have the buoyancy of a lead cube. He must've realized I'd figured that little tidbit out, because he managed to scoff and flail at the same time.

"You have _got _to be kidding me," I groaned as I gripped his clothes. Keep me afloat was one thing. Keeping me and a two hundred pound samurai afloat was a completely different animal. Above, I could hear footsteps. It was cold underneath the dock, and I was beginning to shiver. Allen's head poked over the hole where we'd fallen through.

"You guys alright?" he shouted, and I answered, "Sort of! Can you get us out of here?" Allen nodded and disappeared again. I felt panic begin to settle in my chest, and the general 'bad vibe' feeling I got around guys began to spike as Kanda clung to me. I was beginning to feel very uncomfortable about being this close. Then again, it was either suck it up and let him cling or protect my dignity and let him drown.

I have to admit, letting him drown was looking mighty attractive.

We tread water for probably another thirty minutes before a rope was slung down to us. Allen shouted the all-clear, and Kanda started up the rope first. He didn't even ask. Then again, I was the thing keeping him afloat, so there was probably a practical aspect, but he could at least go through the motions of being polite. I grumbled on my way back up the rope, but I was having lots of difficulties seeing as I could only climb with one arm.

"Alleeeen. I need help!" I shouted piteously. I was close to tears. My leg could've passed for a candy cane. My hair looked like a blind man with a machete had taken a whack at it. I smelled like sea water, blood, and nauseating acid. I had sand in places I didn't even want to think about. I wanted to go _home. _Allen ended up climbing down and lifting me out on his back, and I was again surprised at just how strong the little guy was. He was no slouch, that was for sure.

It only took us another five minutes to end up at our hotel, much to the surprise of the poor bystanders. It's not every day you get to see a multi-dimensional portal pull up in the hotel to drop off three Exorcists, one dry and the other two running like faucets.

"You did good today, Mag," Allen said, patting my shoulder with a bright smile, and I raised my eyebrows in genuine astonishment.

"Really?" I breathed, stumbling every now and again as I limped, holding my injured arm to me with my good arm. I had two limbs down. That was a record.

"Yeah. I think you're going to do well, especially with Lavi and Kanda teaching you. And don't take anything Kanda says to heart - he's like that to everyone," Allen said, smiling kindly. I smiled back, his grin a bit infectious. Allen had this way about him that seemed to cling like a happy cloud of optimism, touching people as he passed by and making their day just a bit brighter. That was a pretty dark contrast to my storm cloud of paranoid pessimism, which, luckily, wasn't as contagious.

"Yeah. He's a real grouchface," I muttered, and Allen's grin grew just a bit wider.

"Grouchface?" Crap, I did it _again. _I bit my lip to keep me from saying anything else incriminating.

Allen only laughed as we walked into the hotel, following behind a very irate, very wet, very _tired _Grou-... Kanda.

* * *

**A/N: **Hey, it's moi. I'm sure those who actually read this are wanting to draw-and-quarter me. I have to apologize for my inactivity. I've been rather busy with an assortment of things grabbing my attention like little puppies dragging a poor rag doll. Still, those who _are _reading - thank you, thank you, thank you! I understand that fics with OCs can be very overbearing and awfully tiring, but maybe this will change your mind a little bit and hopefully be one of the few good OC-centric stories out there. As a hint, I plan on Mag being more of the Ishmael for this story, rather than a true main. That might relieve some of the OC-centricism.

Big thanks to sammi117 for reviewing! I absolutely love input, any sort of input. I especially enjoy input that's constructive as well as critical, so don't be afraid to point out mistakes, note irregularities, and in general nitpick the thing to pieces, but only so long as you add what's good as well. The best gift to a writer is a well-rounded review after all.

I don't have any new subscribers or favoriteers. Well, poo.

Now, I do include discussion questions, and I hope that they give you an idea of what to review on or if you just want to answer them anyways. _Do you like the OCs? Are the canon characters truly in character? Out of the entire cast thus far, which are your favorites? Is the prose for the story interesting? Do you have to skip over paragraphs because they're too detailed? Are things not detailed enough? Are you getting confused? Have you noticed any holes in the story? Most importantly, are you enjoying yourself as you read? _

Hopefully, you'll enjoy the rest of this story. If not, I do hope you do find a story you enjoy elsewhere on the site. Keep those reading eyes sharp!

God bless, and happy reading.


	8. A Day I Dread

"Maaaag. Maaaaaaaaag~ ... **MAG!"** I jolted out of sleep at the sound of my name. Violet loomed over me, and it took me a few seconds to realize that she was sitting on top of me. She had her cheery, "good morning" face on... which wasn't good. Violet didn't _do _mornings. In fact, she _slammed _mornings into the ground and crushed them beneath her heel until they begged for mercy. I would rather poke a hibernating bear with a stick than wake up Violet early in the morning.

"What?" I groaned, zombie-fied from catching about an hour's worth of rest. After taking a shower, getting dressed for bed, and flopping down on my mattress, Kanda had kicked in the door and said we were going for another late night run. The guy wasn't human. I'd never seen him sleep. I'd never seen him eat. I'd never seen him do anything normal. This was just adding on to the evidence I was piling up on the fact he must be some man from Mars bent on taking over the world using nothing but a sword and a sour attitude.

"Guess what today is," Violet gushed. She was a fountain of enthusiasm. I think it was going to make me throw up. Then again, that may just be Violet bouncing on my stomach with anticipation. She didn't have the word 'restraint' anywhere in her personal dictionary. She put chipmunks to shame. Suddenly, she was literally nose to nose with me, and she whispered conspiratorially, "It's _Saturday._" Oh. Saturday. Yeah, that was great. Wait, what was up with Saturday?

"And...?" I asked, giving her a grimace. Did I want to hear this?

Violet rolled her eyes exasperatingly. Quite obviously, I must be a clodhead for not knowing what Saturday meant. She took a deep breath and sat up.

"We're _leaving? _Like... _in the next ten hours? To AMERICA?_" My stomach searched for my ankles. My vision started to go in and out. I opened my mouth and snapped it shut again after realizing I had nothing to say to that.

They were leaving me. The birds were flying the nest. The chickens were leaving the coop. The kits were leaving the den. At this rate, I'm never going to be a mother, because the heartbreak's just not worth it. I shoved my pillow over my face and moaned. I could almost hear Violet's eyeballs rattle in her head as she rolled them towards the ceiling.

"Oh, you big baby. It's only for six months." They didn't know about our specific predicament, obviously. I wasn't going to be the one to enlighten them, either. Violet clambered off of me, but not without kneeing my stomach in the process. I rolled over, coughing before I sprawled out and shoved my face into the sheets. From what Lavi would tell me, there'd been a change of plans. Rather than going overseas, we were going up to the mountains instead, meaning I didn't have to take a boat. However, we were using elephants, and if there was anything that I hated more than traveling on boats, it was traveling on an elephant. At the least, I would get to actually enjoy the scenery and have the chance to stretch my legs. On a boat, I practically went nuts staring at all that water.

And I had to constantly pee because of it, too.

Speaking of which, I had to do that now. I rolled out of bed blearily, pushing back my mass of frizzy, wavy-curly hair into a bun and tying it with a band around my wrist. I stretched out and yawned as I opened the door -

-and just about tripped over the small man smoking next to my door. I squeaked as I stared at him. He hardly came up to my chest, though his ponytail... question mark... hair... thing made him several inches taller. And he was wearing eyeliner. And he looked like something out of a Japanese kabuki theater. He looked up at me, and he merely said, "Tch. Never seen an old man spoke before? Teenagers..." He shuffled off to find another place to puff his tobacco, and I realized that my hotel room was _full _of people.

There had to be at least six Exorcists in here along with my five family members. To say the least, it was crowded. They were popping up like mushrooms after rain - I leave for an hour to sleep, and they suddenly amass like some sort of swarm. Lenalee and Noise were on my couch, the older man stroking my cat (who was enjoying the attention). There was another guy in the kitchen, but I couldn't see him for all the smoke that was billowing off the stove as the twins made one of their... concoctions. Lily must not be up yet. Allen was digging in the icebox - good luck to him, because I hadn't bought anything new for the past week. Kanda was somewhere around here. My stomach was in knots, so he had to be around. I headed to the bathroom, trying not to trip over anybody's feet, and I opened the door.

Lavi girlishly screamed and flung on a towel as I slammed the door closed again. I winced and shouted through the door, "Sorry!" I had a habit of not knocking on the door. I'd seen all there was to see of my siblings, so I didn't much care. Other people... there were definitely some things I didn't want to see of other people.

"It's okay!" Lavi shouted back, though he sounded startled. I turned around, and I came nose to nose with Lily. I flailed backwards in surprise as she smiled cheerily.

"Lils! Don't... _do _that!" Her bad habit was popping up in the most random places, usually within the proximity of your space bubble.

"Hey, Mag, breakfast is ready!" one of the twins yelled from the kitchen, and I could smell a burning amalgam from the stove. I deflated. I looked at Lily, who was being rather patient.

"What did you want?" Lily rocked on her heels innocently as she smiled sweetly. Oh dear. She was going to ask for something that I wasn't going to like. She always put on that face when she wanted something I wasn't going to like. Pursing her lips, she gave me a puppy dog face as she asked, "Could I... pretty pretty please go shopping with Crowley? He's never seen the city before, and I wanted to get some new clothes before the trip." I blinked as I tried to catch up. Lily was naive, airheaded, vague... and sometimes ornery. If I told her no, she'd find a loophole. If she wanted it bad enough, she'd find a way to get it. The only one who could top her was Violet.

"CAN I GO TOO?" I should've counted on Violet joining in. She could smell trouble from a mile away.

"Is Crowley here?" I asked with a sigh. He was the vampire. Lavi had told me he wouldn't hurt a fly, but - Suddenly, I saw a large man with a skunk streak through his black hair that was a good ten years older than both my sisters loom behind Lily from the kitchen, and my stomach twisted. I put on my Mom face as he looked at me with surprise. That was him. My gut was never wrong.

"No." Lily's expression fell on the floor and shattered.

"Why not!" she whined, looking like she was about to come to tears. Oh, that dirty little - she was going to turn on the water works. She was going to guilt me into it.

"He's an Exorcist! He ain't gonna do nothin'!" Violet shouted from her room.

"Mag, should this be black and sticky?" one of the twins yelled from the kitchen.

"It's sausage! Or at least, we think it's sausage!" the other one yelled. I couldn't think with all this going on.

"No is no is no. You're not going with him. Not unless _I _am going with, and _I _do not plan on going to the market the day we leave," I growled, gritting my teeth. I was adamant. Nothing was going to change my mind.

I felt a massive, black wall of gloom press behind me. I didn't have to turn around to know that Kanda was glowering behind me.

"I want my hair tie back," a deep voice seethed. I flinched, and I looked up at him. I did a little finger wave, and suddenly the door opened and smacked me in the back. I slightly crumpled as the doorknob smashed into my back, hissing in pain.

"Hey, anyone seen my shirt?" Lavi asked, walking out half naked. I was seriously getting annoyed. All of this activity was beginning to make me frazzled, especially with how much _mess _there was everywhere. Too many people in one space, too much stuff in one area, all this going on at the same time...

"Mag? Market? Yes?" Violet asked from her bedroom, clad in tank top and shorts. Growling, I pointed to her and said, "Get back in there and put on real clothes."

"But... this is -!"

"NO BUTS. REAL CLOTHES." She grumbled as she went back into her room, and Lily grabbed my attention again. I could feel my patience coming to an end. I was going to _kill _patience in the next five minutes if I didn't get a chance to actually breathe.

"Please, please, please?" I took one look at Crowley, giving him the once over. My paranoia was practically shooting through the top of my head. He was tall, dark, _untrustworthy._ Well, at least, that's what my instincts were telling me. He began to walk towards me, and I backed up until I hit Kanda behind me.

_"I'm not going to ask again. Where is my hair tie?"_ Fed up, I took the one out of my hair, and I slapped it into his hand irately as my head became a ball of brown frizz.

"Happy?" I mumbled.

That seemed to appease him, despite the fact he still resembled a storm cloud on the horizon. Then again, he was _always _like that, but nevertheless... He went to glower off in a corner, and Crowley came up for his dose of Mag-attention. Beyond him I could see Violet harassing the twins about her hair brush (they must've used it to brush Tip), and Lily was distracted by a story that Allen was telling to Lenalee while his mouth was full of food. Ava must be in the kitchen hanging on to one of the twins.

"M-m-ms. V-valdis?" I raised an eyebrow. He was a lot more nervous than I'd expected. In fact, he was practically shaking. He wasn't exactly a block of immobile stone. If anything, he looked like I could walk all over him. That was saying something. Obviously, that was an act. No man was that timid.

"Yes?" I asked, hands on hips. He twiddled his thumbs, and he looked at the ground. He looked like a shy kid trying to ask his mother for candy.

"C-could we go to... to the market? Just this once?" he asked in a quiet voice. His type knew how to act, apparently. If I didn't know better, I would've thought he was actually scared of me. I gave a slight 'pf' at his answer. Not in a million years. I had tact, though. I could be polite.

"Like I said. No. Is no. Is no. No one is going anywhere with Lily and Violet, especially you," I said, tacking on the ending without even thinking about it. He winced, and for a minute I thought that he was going to cry.

Allen must've noticed the current commotion, because he popped up over his shoulder.

"Crowley, what's the problem?" he asked, and I flickered my gaze between the two of them. I wouldn't have put these two together as the best of pals on first glance... Crowley hesitated before whispering in Allen's ear, and Allen's eyes widened.

"Oh, Ms. Magnolia... he's perfectly fine. I understand your reluctance -" I waved a hand, frowning.

"I don't care. I don't let _any _of my siblings go anywhere by themselves with someone I don't know," I said in a sharp tone, and Allen looked surprised. I winced internally. I may have been a little more stern than I'd intended. By now, the others had noticed, and I could feel eyes begin to burn holes in me. Still, I stood by my decision.

Men were menaces. Lavi pushed the limit. Kanda was proving the fact to me. Allen was the only one I could say actually might subvert the usual stereotype, but the stereotype existed for a reason. I wasn't willing to put my siblings in that situation, even the twins. It didn't help that I was as irritable as I could be without flying into a rage.

"...Mag, you're going to have to because he's the one teaching your sisters. Crowley is one of the best and most trustworthy Exorcists on the team. There's nothing to worry about from him. They'll be fine," Allen said, smiling in that way that wasn't _quite _smiling. Realizing I was letting my paranoia get in the way of my judgment, I backtracked. Crowley looked up demurely with pleading eyes, and I suddenly felt a pang. What if... it _wasn't _an act?

I was an idiot. He'd been so quiet because he _had _been nervous. I was bullying the guy out of protectiveness towards my family. If they trust him, I could trust him.

I took a deep, shuddering breath and rubbed my face.

"I'm so sorry. I... I beg your pardon, I'm just -" Crowley cut me off with a pat to the arm and a small smile. I bit my lip and hurried off to my room. I left in a dead silence.

* * *

"You must be the slowest out of your group because you're injured twice as much as the rest of your family," Bookman muttered as he looked me over. I winced as he poked and prodded my rib cage. I'd opted to wear a brassiere instead of a corset as well as actual underpants instead of petticoats because it gave me more range of movement, and Bookman could take a look at my torso wounds without ruining all my good whalebone and cloth. They'd put bandages over all the small stuff, and they were working their way down from head to toes. So far, Bookman was working on my ribs while Lavi inspected my arms as I sat on my bed.

"What are all these?" Lavi asked, pointing to wayward stripes that looked more like big paper cuts than shrapnel wounds. I bit my lip sheepishly.

"Uh... cat... scratches?" Like Kanda, Lavi didn't look like he bought that either. I sighed, muttering, "I don't have very good aim." Lavi stopped for a moment before guffawing. He took a deep breath and resumed his work. After another ten minutes, they finally got to the part I was dreading the most - my leg. It had four long gashes across the thigh. Luckily they weren't very deep, but they were bleeding a lot. I'd had to put on an impromptu dressing and bandage to keep it clean and allow it to scab over.

"These are gonna make for some awesome battle scars," Lavi muttered under his breath as he readied a needle and spool of thread, and I blanched.

"I don't want battle scars on my thighs! What am I going to tell my husband when I get married? I had a scuffle with a lovestruck tiger?" I squeaked, mortified. Scars were ugly! On a man, they looked like badges of courage. On a woman, it just looked like she was a disaster waiting to happen. Bookman held my leg still, and I immediately began to tense up as I watched Lavi pull out a syringe of something from a medicine bag.

"Don't worry, it won't even hurt. Just lay back, and think of England. Or Spain. Or where ever it is you're from," Lavi said as he flicked the syringe with a finger, and I could feel adrenaline pump through my system as fear of pain overshadowed everything else. I gulped audibly, and my palms and back were beginning to feel slick. Bookman stood up and walked over to Lavi for a moment as I tried to gather my thoughts into a coherent group rather than a scattered bunch of willy-nillying mental screams. It was just a needle. That's all. Just a couple of pinpricks through the skin and out, and then my leg would be closed up and fine. They'll even give me anesthetic! I won't feel a thing. I'll just get to see that needle pass _straight through my flesh over and over -_

I started to realize I might be hyperventilating, and I attempted to remain calm for the umpteenth time. Lavi and Bookman walked back over, Lavi looking bouncy as ever while Bookman still had that stern look to him.

"Lavi is going to have you lie down, and he'll hold your hand while I anesthetize your leg. Once it's done its work I can start stitching. You may feel an uncomfortable pulling sensation, but that should be all," Bookman explained, and Lavi circumnavigated the bed, probably nearly killing himself in the process from the amount of stuff on the floor. He sat down on the bed behind me, and he said, "Alright, lie back." I flopped down, feeling exposed and vulnerable. Above me, Lavi smiled big enough to practically blind me. Remembering that odd, blank look I'd caught on him in Phuket, the smile was made creepier. It became more genuine, though, as he noticed me tense as I felt a needle go into my leg.

"You're going to be fine. It's honestly not as bad as it sounds," Lavi said, leaning over me. I bit my lip, not entirely convinced. Slowly, I could feel a coldness spread through my leg, numbing the aching gash to nothing. Bookman asked, "Can you feel this?" I frowned for a moment as I waited, and I answered hesitantly, "Feel... what?" Lavi looked up at Bookman with a nod, and I realized that he must've been testing if my leg was drugged up enough. My stomach, ornery as ever, began to complain and bid for secession again, and I just barely managed to keep it under control.

I suddenly felt a tug in my leg, and it surprised me enough that I grabbed Lavi out of surprise. It _was _uncomfortable, but not painful. Realizing I was practically crushing Lavi's wrist, I let go and grimaced.

"Sorry," I stage-whispered, and he shrugged.

"Hey, at least you didn't grab my hair." He looked up mischievously at Bookman, and the old man only grumbled something under his breath about 'stupid seven year olds'. Deciding it wasn't worth it to pry, I lay back and, as Lavi had so aptly put it, thought about... where ever it was that I was from. After about five minutes of that, though, I started to get a little bored, and Lavi looked just as bored as I felt.

"Lavi, where are you from?" I asked, for lack of anything better to do. He contemplated this question, and he answered, "Everywhere, actually." I chuckled. Yeah, I know how that feels. My whole life I'd been traveling, and I guessed being a Bookie or whatever it is had him trotting all over God's green Earth, too. I crossed my arms behind my head, trying to ignore the fact that a needle and thread were probably going through my flesh as I spoke.

"Well, where _have _you been, then? This is my first time in Asia," I said, closing my eyes. The world momentarily disappeared, and I realized this was the first time I'd actually sat and relaxed in I don't know how long. It's sort of sad to know that the only time I get to actually sit is while I have my legs sutured.

"Mmmm, well, let's see. I've been to Greece, Italy, France, England, Switzerland, Hungary, Norway, Denmark, Finland -" I cracked open an eye and muttered, "You really _have _been everywhere." His single eye glittered with that spark I'd seen in the eyes of my twin brothers all too often. It usually heralded an attempted prank. He shrugged, merely saying, "I get around." He wiggled his eyebrows, and I rolled my eyes. He'd been like that in Phuket, too. He liked to think of himself as a Casanova, I think, but I beg to differ. He was more like Casanova's unfortunate younger cousin who couldn't get a girl if he waltzed around stark naked with a ring in one hand and a bouquet in the other. Of course, anyone who wants to marry an exhibitionist who's desperate needs to go to a psychiatrist, because there's bound to be something wrong with _both _of them.

"I'm almost finished," Bookman said in gravelly tones, and I refrained from looking at his progress. I'd need to wear blinders in the bathroom. I think I'd throw up if I looked at the wounds on my legs threaded like some sort of gruesome patchwork quilt. I took another shuddering breath, and Lavi was merciful enough to distract me.

He propped himself up on the bed with an elbow, and he asked me, "Mag, why don't you have parents?" I sat up suddenly, surprised, and I frowned.

"How did you know that?" I asked, and he suddenly looked guilty. He scratched the back of his head, and he looked off.

"Uh, I took a look at your dossier information. I got curious," he admitted. I had to say, I felt oddly miffed that he'd looked into my private history. I'd thought that part of the dossier was for generals and high-ranking Vatican officials only, not for every single redheaded idiot that decided to take a peek. Then again, he probably had his fingers in all the pies (if those pies had anything to do with information) so it wasn't so far-fetched, but that still made me angry. I took a deep breath as I prayed, hoping that it would calm me down. I could say some stupid stuff when I was angry. I was determined not to make a fool out of myself.

"My father died when I was very young, probably three. My mother ended up a little loony after Ava was born, and she walked out of the house and never came back one day," I said quickly, feeling slightly ashamed. It sounded like a bad sob story, but it was true. My life was so full of cliches that if I had a fivepence for every single one that had happened, I'd be filthy, stinkin' rich. I stared at the ceiling, feeling uncomfortable with Lavi on a bed next to me, even if it was under supervision and it was to keep me from going insane.

"I don't think I knew my parents. At least, not well. This old geezer's the closest thing to parent I've got," Lavi said, jerking a thumb at Bookman childishly. Suddenly Lavi was hit in the face with a large medical text, and he fell over, groaning.

"Not the face! How many times do I have to say it, not the face!" he moaned, curling up into a ball. Bookman only answered back, "Overdramatic twit." I sighed, used to theatrics by now. Suddenly, the door was thrown open, and I quickly threw a blanket over my legs on instinct. Kanda looked on at us with a blank look, and I could almost see the hamster running circles in his brain. Finally processing that he was staring at a half-naked girl in a room with a man on the bed and an older guy sitting at her legs, he slapped a hand over his eyes and sighed deeply.

"Am I... interrupting something?" Kanda asked. I sat up with a bit of difficulty, and Bookman said, "I just finished. You should be fine now." I nodded, feeling awkward as a three-legged giraffe. Lavi bounced off the bed, and I tried to stand up.

"What did you want to tell us, Yuu-chan?" Lavi asked, and Kanda didn't even bother to remove his hand from his eyes as he pointed his sword at Lavi's face. Lavi stared at the sword with a small sound of resignation, and that made me wonder just how many times a day Lavi and Kanda went through this routine. Lavi pushed the sword away from his face with a single, long finger, and he said, "Now, now, no need to be hasty, just... uh, put that down." Kanda didn't deign to comply (as expected), and he said, "They're leaving. Now. Allen wants to catch a specific train in America at a specific time, which would be now. Get dressed and hurry it up if you want to say goodbye." Dread pooled in my stomach, and I nodded numbly. I could see Lavi flicking his eyes between me and Kanda, and I pushed back my hair from my face.

"Go on. I'm fine," I said, shooing them off. Kanda left with a swift turn, and I took my first look at Bookman's handiwork. I stared for a moment, in total disbelief. Bookman was also frowning at his obvious mistake, and he muttered, "Oops. Perhaps I should've done this with my glasses on rather than off." I think I would've cried right there on the spot. I couldn't believe this. Lavi looked over, and he looked like he couldn't believe it either.

Bookman had sewed the blanket to my leg. My _leg _was _attached _to the _blanket. _How the heck was I supposed to get downstairs with a blanket sewed to me!

"Tell me you can fix this," I pleaded. Bookman sighed, and he answered, "It will... take me another ten minutes to cut the stitch, restring the needle, and start the last three stitches..." That would take too much time. They'd be gone by then!

"Aw, screw it, I'll just wear pants over it. They won't notice, right?" I asked, trying to stand up. My leg gave out, still numbed to the bone, and I pinwheeled as I tried to keep my balance. Lavi caught me in time for me to regain my position, and I started to shove pants over my legs, blanket and all.

"Mag, is this really a -"

"I'll do it later! Come on, help me with these!"

Five minutes later, I was downstairs, trying to make the bulge in my pants less noticeable. My sisters and twin brothers had their bags packed, and I looked them over for a final check up while Allen fixed the portal. Luckily we were right next to the chapel where the portal was housed for use, so Allen wouldn't get chewed out for using an unauthorized entrance. Tch, Central must be the bane of all trees on the planet, because they used mountains of paper for the littlest things. I think you had to put in time, date, and location in triplicate just to get a cup of coffee from the cafeteria.

"Alright, washed behind the ears, hair's washed, all your clothes, didn't forget anything?" I said, going through my mental checklist. My siblings groaned, and I said, "Hey, you'll thank me when you realized you still have your toothpaste, your dog, and your underwear." Tip whined next to me, and I rolled my eyes. Lily was already starting to cry, and my lip quivered. I hugged her as she started to sob into my shoulder.

"I-I-I'll w-w-write e-e-ever-ery-d-day!" Lily gasped, as she picked up Ava, her nose prettily running while her eyes practically gushed tears. Ava looked sad, though obviously less than her more theatrical sister, and I kissed her cheek. She hugged my neck and nuzzled me back, and I almost lost it. Mr. Fluffins meowed in what I guess was the cat version of 'farewell' while Parley screeched, "_Kraaawk, _she's gone away, _kraaaawk, _cross the Missouri, _kraaawk, _watch out for the lemurs." Lily continued to try and speak through her sobs, but she was getting less and less coherent.

"You won't have to write, dear. I'll just bug you with my golem, how's that?" I said, trying to smile. I sent them off with Crowley and Noise, the latter having already bid au revoir to Kanda in a quiet, very manly fashion, and the two larger, older Exorcists kindly comforted the two as they passed through the portal. The twins came up for their goodbye, stepping on the tail end of my blanket. I spluttered for a moment, trying to keep my composure, and Sebastian asked, unabashedly, "What's with the blanket in your pants? Mag, you're not going through a phase, are you?"

"Are you trying to act pregnant? Or seem fat? Or trying to get attention? You know that's really unhealthy, right?" Erastus asked, and I slapped them both.

"Shut up. That's not important. Now, give me a hug, and go get out of here," I stated, motioning for them come hug me. They practically lifted me up in a bear hug, and they simultaneously whispered, "We'll miss you, Maggie. Stay safe." I ruffled their hair, their boyish faces happy despite the fact that I could see they were close to tears, too. I kissed each on the forehead, despite their complaining, and they picked up their bags. Violet was last, reluctantly coming up to me. She'd had the decency to wear a shirt and skirt this time, both of them uniform black and white. She shuffled her feet, sighing as she stared at the ceiling.

"I'm... gonna miss you," she admitted, not willing to look at me. By now, I was aware that the remaining Exorcists were staring. I sniffed, and she sniffed, and I sniffed some more, and she sniffed some more...

... and before long we were both hugging each other and speaking in gibberish. I felt better being able to hold her, just this once, and she grasped me tight. I held her face in my hands as she let go of me, and I said, "If you come up against anything dangerous, anything you can't face alone, I want you to run, okay? Run away as fast as you can, and don't you look back." I kissed her forehead, and I sniffled.

"Stay safe for me. Come back, okay? I need someone to turn my hair gray for me," I joked through fat, rolling tears, and she nodded. Finally, she picked up her bags and started for the portal. Before stepping through, she looked back at me, and she said, "Mag... that blanket is really tacky. I don't know why you have it in your pants, but you should take it out before someone realizes I'm related to you. And... I love you." She slipped into the portal, disappearing in a glow of white, and Lenalee waved at me politely as she went after. Allen walked up to me, already having said goodbye to Lavi and gave a piece of his mind to Kanda, and he extended a hand.

"I guess this is farewell until we meet again, am I correct?" he asked, and I wiped tears and snot off my face. I used my clean hand to shake, and I said, "I guess. You keep them in good shape. Don't let them go to bed too late, don't let them have any candy after eight, and make sure -" Allen waved a hand to stop me.

"They are in the best hands capable, I assure you," he said with a bright smile, and I sighed, nodding. With that he left, leaving on Lavi, Kanda, Bookman, and I. There was quiet silence as we contemplated the departure of our fellow comrades.

And Kanda had to break the silence. "Mag, what is with the blanket in your pants?"

* * *

**A/N:** So, this chapter was a bum to write. For some reason, I've had massive writer's block, and I kind of wish they'd created something called 'writer's laxative' to get rid of it. Anywho, hopefully you enjoyed this chapter.

Big thanks to my reviewer, sammi117, for faithfully reporting on each chapter thus far. I appreciate the enthusiasm.

_Do you like the OCs? Are the canon characters truly in character? Out of the entire cast thus far, which are your favorites? Is the prose for the story interesting? Do you have to skip over paragraphs because they're too detailed? Are things not detailed enough? Are you getting confused? Have you noticed any holes in the story? Most importantly, are you enjoying yourself as you read?_

__These are the same questions from the last story, and I'll keep them for the next couple of chapters. Remember that reviews don't have to be constrained to these questions.

God bless you, and happy reading!


	9. A Mountain Debacle

After my siblings had left, we started our journey towards the Himalayas. Lavi had explained everything to me in as simple terms as he could put it (I was operating on about two hours of sleep at the time), and I had to say that it was a stinkin' simple mission.

Apparently, a very large light was shining like a beacon off the top of a mountain right next to Mount Everest. There was also a vicious storm that had whipped up out of nowhere, shrouding the entire mountain. Not surprisingly, it was called Savage Mountain because it'd killed more people than the man-eating tiger of India. We were supposed to brave the storm, fight Akuma on the way, dodge Abominable Snowmen, get to the top, figure out what was turning the mountain into a lighthouse, and then come all the way back down.

"The locals say the light is from all the dead spirits of the village coalescing at the top of the mountain, but I honestly think it's the Innocence making the thing shine like Times Square on New Year's," Lavi said, and I stared blankly. The words 'coalesce' and 'Times Square' had flown through my brain like a bird.

"What's Times Square?"

"Uh… Never mind. Anyhow, once we get the Innocence, the storm will stop, we fight off the Akuma that we'll finally be able to actually seeand presto! We're done. Easy, right?"

If he meant that drilling a hole in a wall with a toothpick was easy, then this would be a piece of cake. Otherwise, it sounded like a suicide mission. Kanda wasn't helping matters either. He was just as dour and mean and nasty as he usually was, and the farther inland we went, the dourer, meaner, and nastier he became. The humidity frizzing his perfect hair probably had something to do with it. The amount of poof in his ponytail seemed to correlate exactly with his mood.

Speaking of him, our journey through India hadn't been totally wasted on riding elephants the entire way. I got to participate in fun-loaded activities like balancing on poles fifty feet off the ground, running ten kilometers in ninety nine percent humidity, and learning how to catalogue just how old my bruises were from hand-to-hand combat training. Luckily, Lavi's regimen was a lot easier on me and had less to do with being painfully stretched, pulled, and prodded in a variety of potentially lethal ways. That wasn't to say that they were any less strenuous – they just seemed a lot safer. Even I can't break a toe playing chess. He had me on strategy games, breathing control, and meditation. Unfortunately, he liked to test my concentration by waving feathers in my face, wearing ridiculous costumes or, worse yet, wearing nothing at all. It didn't help that Lavi could beat me in three moves flat no matter what strategy game we were playing. The odds were definitely not stacked in my favor.

We were now in Tibet. My ribs were healed up, and most of my gashes were closed. I'd had the stitches cut off two weeks before, and the travel had switched from elephants to Hammer Travel, as I liked to call it. I was getting a lot better about riding the stupid thing, seeing as I'd had no choice but to cling for four hours straight every day. Even Bookman couldn't take riding the thing for longer than a few hours at a time, considering he was so arthritic, and I couldn't blame him. Now and again we'd flown at night, and we had to take turns holding on to each other. The time taken to get to our destination had been cut completely in half.

Still, despite the little time I had to myself, that didn't stop me missing my family. Every day that we landed, I'd try to call. I was always ecstatic to hear their voices, even if it was just a few minutes a day telling me that they were fine and they were washing behind their ears like I'd told them too. Even Tip answered back now and again, barking like the fool canine he was. I was looking forward to calling them today. Unfortunately, that was one of the very few things I could look forward to.

That was mostly because, seeing as it was Torture Tuesday, the minute we'd landed, Kanda had me take my stance and start on hand-to-hand. Already, I sported three fresh bruises, a few cuts, and a scrape up the back of one leg. The harsh, gravelly soil was not too kind to skin. Heaven knows I'd fallen at least fifteen times over.

"Take your stance again," Kanda commanded, tapping a sheathed Mugen against his leg, and I struggled to stand up. Being clocked in the clavicle will do a number on the body. My legs shook like jello, and my vision kept tilting like a drunken viewfinder. I managed to stand up, stretching out and popping joints that had been out of place. Taking a deep breath, I tried to take my stance.

The little hairs on my arms stood up as a cold breeze passed by, and I once again noticed just how weird it was to wear pants. Kanda refused to have me wear a skirt or a corset, requiring me to get new accoutrements for training. I now had brassieres instead of corsets, and cotton pants rather than skirts. It wasn't that I was a girly-girl, but I most certainly wasn't a Tom. My bra strained at my back, and the unusual feeling of straps on my shoulders bit heavily as I tried to take my stance. My legs were spread with one leg ahead of the other, the back foot tilted forty-five degrees counter to the front foot. My arms were close to my chest, chin tucked in with fists at mouth height. I stared ahead, looking at a point over Kanda's shoulder at the plains beyond trying to forget about all the parts of me that I didn't know could ache.

Suddenly, Kanda rapped against my leg with Mugen's sheath, and he said, "Too far. You'll fall over. Move it back." I scooted it across the ground, and he suddenly slammed Mugen into my backside.

"Stop sticking that out. This isn't a beauty pageant. No one cares about your back end." I tried not to sigh. I slightly readjusted my posture. He suddenly whacked me over the shoulders.

"You're too tense. Loosen up already," he growled at me from behind, and my eye twitched. It was no wonder that I was tense. I was getting smacked every other second with that stupid sword sheath, and I was getting very, very annoyed. I'd learned to hold my tongue and not snark about just how much it peeved me, but I was running low on patience.

"Ever thought that maybe if you didn't hit me so much, I wouldn't be so tense?" I muttered. The sheath connected with my head, and I gasped as pain spread like paint over the spot on top of my ear. I lashed out on instinct, and Kanda already had a hand blocking my flailing attack. His other hand smashed me at the shoulder where the arm connected with my torso, and I stepped back, momentarily unbalanced. Kanda took that moment to sweep an ankle under my knee, and I fell over backwards, landing on my back.

The sky spread out over me, and it swirled. I wondered just how many times I was going to end up in the position flat on my back. Heaven knew I'd ended up down here more times than I'd like. Kanda stood over me, and he spit, a glob of saliva smacking the ground six inches from my ear. He began to walk away, and I stood up in a scramble.

"Hey! HEY! THAT WASN'T FAIR!" I shouted, finally losing it. I was sick and tired of being treated like a weakling. I knew that I _was _a weakling, but at the least he could start me on the elementary stuff instead of just tossing me in hot water like a crab in a Southern boil party. This had been our usual routine for the past _six weeks. _It was always the same motions - straighten up, stop sticking out your back end, and move your feet before going straight into the spar, like he expected me to fight like I was a martial artist straight from a stage production. Did he think I was superhuman or something? I wasn't sure if I should be flattered or insulted.

Kanda looked back at me, and I could see Lavi stirring from his placid power nap like a cat sensing danger. I wiped my face of dirt as Kanda turned around, cracking his knuckles. That... didn't bode well. This was definitely different from our usual run-through. He never actually came _back._

He suddenly walked towards me, and I felt a thrill of fear. I hadn't actually expected him to come back. I'd thought he'd just… well, walk away. Apparently, that wasn't the case, and I could already tell I was going to hurt tomorrow.

It happened faster than I expected. One hand made a pass for my face, and I knocked it away with the flat of my hand, backing up. The other hand dug into my stomach, and I tightened up in response, trying not to double over and leave my face vulnerable. I answered back with a dig to the foot, and he stepped over the attempted stomp before giving me one of his own.

"Guess what," he said casually, as I hopped backwards, adding a bruised, possibly broken toe to my injury count. A foot aimed for my knee went through air as I pivoted to the side, making myself a smaller target. That didn't deter him much as I managed to walk right into a smack to the face, and pain bloomed in my mouth and cheek. In the interim, I shoved his shoulder to give me breathing room. I faltered as I slipped a bit on the gravel, and he edged in.

"Life-" This time, a new bruise materialized on my collarbone. Pain flowered again.

"-isn't-" I dodged a punch to the abdomen and delivered a failed kidney shot of my own. I couldn't even get a hit in edgewise while he was talking.

"-fair." I somehow twisted my leg between his, and I smashed my pitifully tiny fist into his neck. He grabbed my wrist, yanking backwards, and I slipped again on the gravel, the both of us going down. He was on top of me, hands pinning my wrists, and my breath caught in my throat as white hot fear traced lines into my veins, panic causing me to kick and flail like a trapped animal. He had no problems holding me down, seeing as he was practically the Great Dane sitting on my chihuahua equivalent.

"You really think that someone's going to wait for you to get ready in the middle of a fight? You think an Akuma cares whether or not you've got your weapon activated? You have to be ready all the time_. _So don't you give the 'it's not fair' rail, because that's the truth, and you'd better toughen up or die. I'm sick and tired of you doing things half-baked and complaining about it. Put some actual effort into it, and maybe you'll get results," he growled in my face, not two inches away. He was close enough for me to smell the sweat and sword polish on him, skin overly warm and dry. He radiated domination, and I cringed underneath the weight of his disapproval.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, like some ugly fat woman's dead body in a river, a memory surfaced, bloated and disgusting. Funnily enough, I had been in a different position completely, but the general idea was still the same. Weird what you'll think about while being pinned. Stinking fear, pain, inadequacy, homesickness, shame, a 'You Suck Like A Whirlpool' speech, frustration, soreness – all present and accounted for. The rocks digging into my back were new, though. At least I hadn't had that before. This optimism thing tasted a little sour, though. Something tells me it might've gone bad over time.

My stomach, always a good indicator of just how I was feeling when my brain wasn't so sure, continued to show its discontent, blaring out just how sick it felt and how badly it wanted to throw out all contents. I was literally shaking like a leaf. If I shivered any more, I would probably break apart into pieces.

"Do you hear me?" Kanda demanded, staring down at me from his crouched position over my poor, mistreated shell. I was struck dumb for a moment as Kanda's face actually swam into view instead of being superimposed over a memory, and I nodded.

"Answer me, don't nod. Do you hear me?" he reiterated, his hands like iron and his skin too close. I couldn't look into his face, and I turned my head away. I wasn't sure I could even speak. I felt numbed, my initial self-preservation instinct kicking in as the part of me that was actually _me _was stuffed into a small, tiny box away from whatever was going on outside of me. This wasn't exactly the right _time _for that, though, and I forced myself back out.

"Yes sir," I finally answered, trying not to cry. I was angry, frustrated, and felt sick to my stomach, and for some reason all those things were hard-wired to my tear glands. Kanda let go of me, standing up in a single, quick motion, and I curled up on my side. I stared after him from the ground, dark hair and taut body heading off. Today, he'd been moodier than usual. I'd noticed that as of late, even when he'd been doing nothing but sitting there staring out at the sky with nothing better to do. I continued to wallow in self-pity until I felt someone come near.

"You want to go and attack my character, too? I can sell you rotten tomatoes for it. Twenty cents a pop," I joked weakly, and Lavi sat down next to me. Out of the entire group, Lavi had been the kindest and friendliest if a bit distant, though in comparison to the rest of the bunch he was practically Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny rolled together in terms of congeniality. I didn't look at him as I stared out over the ground, realizing that he must've put up my tent alongside his seeing as there were four brown humps rather than three. He'd taught me how to pop the rawhide tent into place, and I'd been doing it myself ever since, though there'd been a misfortunate accident where I'd stuck the poles in wrong and ended up flooded out.

"No, I'm not going to attack your character," Lavi said quietly, and I could hear him shift his body as the gravel crunched. I lay there for several more minutes, the both of us in silence, before I finally sat up. Lavi handed me a hankie, and I started to wipe the dirt off my face. As per usual for the aftermath of all our sparring, Lavi checked me over to make sure I hadn't cracked, gashed, or reopened anything. I held out my hands, and he checked my fingers first. Finally, I had to take my hands out of his as unease roiled in my stomach.

"Maybe you can check me later," I said, tucking my knees under my chin. I really wasn't in the mood to be looked over, especially after that debacle. If I was honest, I was kind of angry that Bookman and Lavi hadn't helped me. The wind blew a strand of brown, wavy frizz across my face, and I tucked it back in place.

"He means well," Lavi said, and I scoffed. Heh, because 'means well' obviously denotes slamming a novice into the dirt about fifty times a day. I was less than fond of Kanda, obviously.

"He has a funny way of showing it," I muttered, suddenly feeling childish. I picked up a rock and threw it, watching it disappear in a thicket of knee-high, brown grass. Everything here was a varying shade of brown, gray, or white. Even the animals followed the same color scheme. Lavi sighed, and I looked at him. He adjusted his head band, an uncharacteristically somber look on his usually cheerful face. He picked up his own rock, and he chucked it as far as it would go. It arced about twenty feet into the air before descending.

"How did you guys get to be so strong?" I asked suddenly. I'd always been anything but. Neurotic, yeah; frustrated, yeah; determined, eh; strong… well, no. Lavi shrugged, assuming the same position I was in. He wrapped his arms around his legs, holding on to the tip of his shoes with the ends of his spindly fingers. To me, Lavi was like a spider. Every part of him was thin and fragile-looking, yet he managed to display surprising strength.

"We've trained literally our whole lives to be the way we are now. It's absurd that anyone can think that you can accomplish what we've managed in just a few months," Lavi said almost absent-mindedly. I stared at him, and asked, "I thought you were trying to make me feel better." For a minute I could see Lavi backtracking mentally, before he scrambled, "N-no, I didn't mean anything by that! I just meant that… um, well… they set the bar a little too high for you, that's all. Kanda's just frustrated that he can't get you up to snuff on his own, among other things." I rolled my eyes. At this point, I could care less what Kanda was frustrated about. I was sore, I was tired, I was sweaty, and I wanted to go home. I wanted to curl up on a couch with my brothers and sisters, and do nothing but watch the dog chase his tail and let Parley squawk to his heart's content.

Thinking about my family suddenly sent me straight back to Waterworks Central because my eyes just about started to leak. Lavi must've noticed because he started to hand me his hankie again. I took it and rubbed my eyes before handing it back.

"I need chocolate. And a bed. And my dog," I mumbled into my knees, suddenly sinking into worry and depression. I'd been pretty good about staying optimistic, but this seemed to shatter all my hard won cheerfulness. There was a moment where I thought Lavi might actually hug me, but a dejected glance from me probably backed him off. He'd learned quickly that flirting with me was the equivalent of toying with a very paranoid dog, and touching was strictly off-limits. Kanda… hadn't learned that lesson, but luckily he didn't do either of those. Lavi readjusted his eye patch, and he said, "Well, on the bright side, we're only a day's fly from our destination. After that, it's all uphill."

"Again – are you trying to cheer me up?" Lavi deadpanned as he stared out across the plain. We sat in silence for quite a while longer before he said, "And Kanda doesn't understand. About the touching thing." I stared at him. I didn't think he'd noticed the entirety of my aversion. It wasn't just hugs I had problems with. It was… well, skin contact in general. Kanda hadn't learned that either, and he wasn't shy about slapping an arm or a leg into position whenever my stance was wrong or I was positioned incorrectly for a fight sequence or if my balance was off. I gave him a perplexed expression.

"Kanda… is really very young in a lot of ways," Lavi suddenly added, sitting up straight. He leaned back on his arms, stretching long legs. He cocked his head to the side, staring at the sky, and he continued, "His mind hasn't caught up with his body. He may be experienced with the atrocities of war, human cruelty, and other things related to destruction, but when it comes to people and the little social nuances we all live by, he's really underdeveloped. He's never had much of a chance to talk to a girl, much less work with one. Lenalee is the closest thing he has to a female figure to gauge reactions with, and he doesn't see her very much. You're the second closest, as well as the most constant for now. He doesn't know how to read you like he would a guy. You're… confusing to him."

I suddenly laughed. I responded, "You act like he's some sort of preteen boy. He's not remotely awkward around me." Lavi was quiet for a moment before chuckling darkly.

"Well, you're partly right. He doesn't do awkward. He does violent," Lavi said, pulling up a shirt sleeve to show a yellowing bruise.

"Oh, that's nothing. Take a gander at this," I said, pulling up a pant leg. A massive, blue and purple bruise covered the area beneath my knee. _That _was from falling off of a fifty foot pole, and he caught me a little late. My leg hit a piece of wood, and I just about sobbed the entire time Bookman fixed up my leg. Lavi waved at it nonchalantly, and he said, "I've got something even better." He peeled off his white shirt, revealing a long, white scar down one side of his stomach, and my own clenched in sympathy. That looked like it must've hurt.

"Where did you get that?" I asked. Lavi traced a finger along it, and he looked up with a bit of a mischievous smile.

"An Akuma thought he could take a piece of my hide, and I ended up having to scratch and claw my way out of a sticky situation," he stated proudly, puffing out his chest. I rolled my eyes. He was such a drama queen. Violet had nothing on his ability to exhibit theatrics. She had even less against his rack up of napping hours. He could sleep longer than my cat, dog, and parrot combined.

"That is what I call a scratch," I snarked. Lavi put his shirt back on, and he said, "Oh really? You have anything better?" I opened my mouth and realized that there wasn't anything I could show him and still keep my dignity. I chuckled sheepishly, scratching the side of my face in embarrassment.

"Haha, that's what I thought!" Lavi said. Suddenly, a boot hit him in the back of his head, and Kanda shouted, "Hey, idiot! Get over here and help hunt. You're the only one who knows how to use the stupid gun!" Lavi shut down at the mention of 'gun', and I felt a moment of curiosity as well as a gut-wrenching feeling of paranoia as I watched that strange, empty, glass-like expression cross his face.

"Hey… I'll talk to him, okay?" Lavi said, slowly reverting back to his usual expression. "He's not as bad as he looks. You just have to get to know him. Deep down… deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, really really deep down, he's a softie. All you have to do is get through all the layers of angry, annoyed swordsman to get to the soft part," Lavi said. For some reason, that brought to mind a turtle, and I imagined Kanda with a shell on his back wielding his sword while wearing a purple band around his eyes like a ninja. I had no idea where that came from, but it was weird enough to actually make me stop and think.

He got up and left, while I sat there on the plain. Finally, I got up and began to clean up camp, neurotic mind not letting me rest until everything was clean, everything was in its place, and I felt that I was prepared for every eventuality. In the distance, I could hear a flintlock go off.

* * *

I curled up in my tent. Light filtered through the hide, creating a soft glow on the inside from the fire blazing in the middle of camp. My fur-lined sleeping sack was nice and warm, and I was glad to finally have some down time. After sparring (or, more like, 'falling'), I'd been tasked with finding water and cleaning all the cooking equipment before the boys came back with the food for the week. We had bought a lot of preserved stuff from the last town we'd stopped at almost five days ago, but it was running out. Not to mention I think I spoke for everyone when I say that eating dried poultry for longer than a few days is an experience best not repeated.

I stared at the wall of my tent, and I thought about where everyone was. Like Violet had let slip, she was in America. They were chasing a lead on some infestation out in the middle of New York City, and no one had been injured as of yet. Lily and Ava were supposedly down south in Africa, working with the French on the Barbary Coast. They sounded like they were doing fine, as well. I'd even talked to Crowley for a bit on a status report regarding Ava, and he sounded congenial enough.

"Kanda?" I stopped breathing as I listened to Lavi walk in front of my tent, probably looking for Grouchface. I resisted the urge to press my ear to the side of my tent just in case they could still see my outline.

"What do you want, idiot?" If I had a nickel for every time Kanda called Lavi an idiot, I'd never have to work a day in my life. Kanda had to be sitting next to the fire. I turned over, staring at the wall of my tent that was facing the fire pit, and I could see their outlines against the hide.

"Have the Order rung in yet on anything?" That was Lavi. He sounded tired. Then again, if his complaining meant anything, he was always tired. Still, he sounded overly weary now. Kanda gave his usual answer: "Tch." For a while the two of them talked about mundane things, like supplies, with Lavi going on and on while Kanda just sat there without answering (or at the least answering in grunts or terse, one word answers). I decided that it was probably time for me to sleep, and I drew a blanket inside of my bag as I began to drift off.

"Hey, Yuu, I need to talk to you about something." I cracked open an eye. The shadows on my tent shifted, one of the seeming to turn its head.

"What did I say -"

"Yuu, I'm not kidding. This is serious," Lavi said. "You need to take it easy."

"Is this about the civilian?" There was a pause.

"Half and half. The Order was supposed to have tests come out about last week, and that's why I wanted to know if they called. Even if the tests are inconclusive, I still think you should really slow it down a bit, be a little more cautious. You can't take hits like you used to," Lavi said. There was another pause, silence stretching out. Something howled. Something hooted. Wind brushed the ground.

"I thought you were supposed to be neutral? Aren't you supposed to be keeping this stuff secret?" Kanda asked. Besides this morning's speech, I think that's the most I've heard him talk all week.

"My life possibly depends on yours, too. You're the one _protecting _me. Therefore, if I help you, you'll keep me alive, hypothetically. Just go with it. Anyhow, once we're done with this trip, we should go back to the Order to get you checked out. For all we know, you could die in the next week if you take a big hit like you did back in Phuket," Lavi whispered, and my eyes widened. There was another silence, and I could practically hear the hamster on its wheel inside of Kanda's brain.

"Everyone dies, _baka usagi. _You should know that. It would've been fitting if I had today. It would've come nine years too late." His tone was one I'd never heard before. It sounded almost regretful, but I hadn't thought that Kanda's emotional palette ranged beyond shades of angry.

"And, about Mag..." There was another pause, but this one was more awkward, probably because it had to do with, oh, _me. _I was the odd one out of this group. Girls were a minority in the Exorcist ranks, and I could tell that as much as they tried to hide it, they weren't pleased that I was with them. Of course, Kanda didn't even attempt to hide it, but Lavi and Bookman were generally congenial, Lavi hiding his disappointment the best. That may just be my paranoid speaking, though...

"Pf. Weakling."

"Kanda, she's not weak, she just... has strength in different areas than we do. Give her something to fight for, and she'll go after it like a dog for a bone. She managed to fight off a Level Three to save her sister, even if you dented it a little first. _I _can't beat a Level Three."

"That's because you suck at fighting."

"...Thanks." I could hear the fire pop and crackle, and they were silent again. I shifted in my sleeping bag, almost asleep again, when Lavi continued, "And don't... don't touch her. Not bare skin, at least. It makes her very uncomfortable." I shifted in my bag, feeling squeamish all of a sudden. I also felt a little guilty for eavesdropping on them this entire time, but hey, a girl has to get information somehow. They were in the open air. It wasn't my fault that this was a free-for-all session.

"Why would I care about that?" That didn't surprise me in the least.

"Because she's your student."

"You just said I'm about to die." ...Wait, what? Where did that come from?

"I said _might _die, and you should still try to treat her better as it is." Lavi knows about it too? Why wasn't anyone willing to tell me I was working with a walking dead man? Sheesh, that makes me feel bad about all the times I pictured him hung up by his toenails and beating him with a tennis racket...

"Why do you care so much?"

"Because... I can... empathize a little bit. She's had things happen. So have I. Call it kinship." My eyes widened. Lavi was an awfully good liar. He'd never told me anything about that.

"What, she's your new best friend now and tells you everything?" Kanda joked sarcastically (ah, he _does _know sarcasm), and Lavi chuckled like he had a blade in his throat.

"Actually, I took a peek at the detailed part of her dossier. It's a lot easier to manipulate her that way than asking and manipulating later. There are some things people don't want to talk about," Lavi admitted, and I dimly remembered something about him looking at my dossier sheet. I hadn't thought they'd put that much detail in my information packet. What, was the Order suddenly giving away my life's story or something? I curled up in my bag as I thought about the implications. He'd said 'manipulate'... Paranoia suddenly set in, and all sorts of theories popped up in my head., that I was just being used, that they were meant to train me, and they'd do it anyway possible, including screw with my head, that I was just another mission to them, that I was some sort of sick joke.

And yet, he'd also talked to Kanda on my behalf, a rather risky venture that could've ended painfully given Kanda's volatile nature. Though, from the looks of it, Lavi was used to handling these sorts of moods from him. Then again, that bruise he'd shown me today looked pretty painful...

There was silence again, and the light from the fire died as they sat there. They began to talk again, albeit quieter. I finally fell asleep, listening to them murmuring things, and darkness seemed to shroud everything like being stuck up against a buxom woman's bosom. Not that I'd know what that's like of course.

* * *

"You're not serious. We're climbing _that?" _I stared up at the mountain. Actually, I was staring at a _hunk _of the mountain because it was so huge I couldn't even see all of it from where I was standing at the base. It also didn't help that there was a massive Cloud of Death hovering around the entire thing, obscuring it from view. Kanda passed by me and muttered, "Tch. It's a hill. Get over it." I wasn't sure whether I was supposed to take that literally or figuratively...

"Come on, Mag! It only looks bad!" Lavi shouted from his position nearer the front of the line of Sherpas taking us up the mountains. From Lavi's estimate, he'd said we'd need a good month to get to the top where the beacon was.

We'd finally arrived after another two days of flying, and the trek here had been treacherous. At one point, Bookman fell off of Lavi's hammer because of a wind gust, and if Kanda hadn't caught him by his ponytail he would've fallen to his death. Sure, he'd been pretty sore for a few days, but a couple of ripped follicles was better than being splatted against the earth from two thousand feet.

"Liar!" I shouted belligerently as I stuck my hiking poles into the ice. We were taking a route that began with a glacier. After we got past the glacier, we took a path up the mountain, but pretty soon that eroded into nothing. We were on our own after that, trail-blazing with the guides who'd either been crazy or stupid enough to come with us and help.

The mountain was tough. We'd had to buy actual climbing equipment, and we'd circumvented the harder stretches of rock to spare Bookman the trouble of getting up the sheer walls. We were going all out against nature by the time we hit the five thousand foot marking, and I was ready to bail by then. It was rocky and snowy, and it wasn't long before I was finding it hard to breathe. Kanda had let up on the sparring for now, opting to just let me climb seeing as that was a work out in itself. Kanda himself was being tested a bit. Even Macho Man was wearing a thick, heavy coat and long, cotton pants. I myself had bundled up against the cold. I could feel the snot in my nostrils beginning to freeze. The going had been especially tough on Bookman. Old guys and cold weather didn't mix well. Still, he was holding up pretty well all things considered. I, on the other hand...

"AH!" I slipped, only saved by the rope in front of me connecting me with the person ahead as well as a quick grab at the rock. I looked down for all of a moment to find somewhere to put my feet, and I gasped at just how high up I happened to be. This particular cliff face was hardly sloped at all, and it'd taken all of what little courage I still possessed to making it up this far. Kanda, in front of me, grunted as he took my weight, the rope pulling on him as I tried to lift myself back up. A lot of our climb was almost vertical, and this was probably the fifteenth time I'd slipped. Kanda grabbed me by the scruff of my coat, and he set me on a ledge like a rag doll.

"Uh... thanks?" I breathed. Kanda didn't even bother to look at me. He just kept going up. I felt my arms burn, and my hands shook. The pack on my back was a good fifty pounds, almost half my weight. I started wondering if I should probably _lose _some weight so I didn't have to carry so much, and shakily helped the Sherpa who'd been hiking behind me. The storm suddenly started in earnest without warning, and the two of us almost fell off the ledge. I clung to him as he held the rock, and I looked up.

Lavi, at the front of the group with Bookman, were over the massive shelf of rock we were climbing already. The other Sherpas and Kanda weren't too far behind, and we were running out of slack. If we stayed here, we'd have to make them stop. I shook off my jitters, and the Sherpa on the ledge with me nodded as we began climbing again.

The wind was biting cold, and it only got worse as we overtook the rock shelf. The tip of my nose felt like it'd break off, and as we took a rest, I looked out over the mountain range on the precipe of the cliff.

I was astounded. The air here was clear, and the wind may gust, but the main storm was about a thousand feet above us. I let my lungs take in as much air as needed, staring out over the great expanse. The mountains rose as if they were sheets of cloth that had been rumpled, covered in snow and interrupted by passes. They were so stark, black against white, and the sky was an immense blue, like God had made the entire firmament a massive robin's egg. I pushed back my hood, my hair flying in my face as I watched the billows of snow fly off over the hill, and the glacier we'd taken spread out like a white bed sheet. I let out a long breath, wishing I had a camera.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" I was startled into tripping by Lavi, and he managed to grab my coat before I sent myself over the cliff.

"Don't... _do _that!" I grumbled, brushing off his grab peevishly. I still hadn't forgotten his comments from over two weeks ago, and I was still a little miffed that he'd taken liberties with my privacy before he'd even begun to know me. My paranoia didn't help matters. My stomach, however, stayed strangely non-indicative of my current emotional state. Maybe it was finally learning its place.

"Sorry," Lavi chuckled, before pulling down his own hood. I glanced at him, fierce profile against a solid blue, black, and white background. His hair ruffled, and the blue contrasted with the bright red like a splash of paint against a canvas.

"Right now we're in China, believe it or not. I managed to get my maps confused. Out here, though, it's hard to imagine anyone being very concerned with borders," Lavi stated, looking at me with a curiously bright green eye. Exercise had made him tired, but he also looked exhilarated. Well, that was good for him, because _I _was anything but exhilarated. I was pretty tired.

"I wish I'd brought my lithograph with me. This place _is _beautiful," I answered back, almost having to shout over the whistling wind. He offered me a canteen, and I reluctantly took it, chugging down water.

"Well, enjoy it while you can. We're taking another bout up the mountain. The guides say there's a small camp up there on that ridge," Lavi said, pointing up. I followed his line of sight, and I winced as I realized just how high we'd have to climb. Luckily, it appeared there was a natural path. I sighed as I noticed that everyone was packing up their gear. The storm began to bluster even further, and I saw that the camping site and the path were slowly being covered by cloud and snow. I groaned, and Lavi merely laughed. He patted my shoulder, padded by a thick layer of clothes, and we continued.

We hadn't gone up farther than a few hundred feet on that path when I noticed something weird. We'd taken off our safety ropes to rest, and we'd put them back on when we'd started again. My rope felt strange, like it was dragging on the snow. I stopped and yanked on the rope. The storm was so heavy now that I couldn't hardly see Kanda ahead of me, much less anyone else. There was no response to the rope tug, though, and I pulled it. Effortlessly, several feet slid up beyond me, and I knew something was wrong. My stomach had a better idea of that than I did.

"Kanda!" My shout went largely unheeded, and I kept reeling in rope at a frantic pace. The snow was literally blinding me, now, completely hiding Kanda from view save for the glint of his sheath. The rope was too light. If it was this light, that meant there was nothing on the end. _There was nothing on the end of the rope. _

"KANDA!" I shouted again, coming towards the end of the rope behind me. I suddenly came up with a dead end, the Sherpa behind me obviously not connected to it. My eyes widened as I realized that something was terribly wrong. The rope wasn't frayed - it was cut cleanly as if something had sliced straight through the rope with a knife. Unless that Sherpa had a death wish, I honestly didn't believe that this was an accident. This time, I think Kanda turned to look at me.

I ran as fast as I could towards the samurai in front of me, my heart hammering in my chest as I heard sharp, plodding steps behind me. Something was _after us._ I would bet my last piece of yak meat that I knew what it was.

I picked up the pace, flat out running on the snow, screaming Kanda's name before I felt claws pierce through my leg as a large body knocked me off the edge of the path and into the abyss beyond.

* * *

**A/N: **Another chapter. Just as a note, K2 really is the second tallest mountain on the planet, and is also the 'holy grail' for mountaineers, considering it's difficulty. That is obviously downplayed in this chapter, as novice climbers such as Mag are able to actually brave the mountain. In reality, this is a very dangerous, risky proposition, and it would not have been taken so lightly.

Thank you, dear sammi117 and quillop, for leaving behind yet another review! Reviews are always helpful and keep me from strawing too far into the land of terrible fiction - or, at least, they should, haha! Big thanks as well to quillop for favoriting (oh, you brave soul), and I have no new subscribers as of yet.

Discussion: _What do you speculate happened in Mag's past? How would you describe the relationship between the canon characters and the original character tagging along with them? Was this a good choice for a mission? Was there too much description? Too little? Was the chapter at all enjoyable to read? What sorts of emotions did this chapter invoke? Were any of the character particularly out of character? Bookman hasn't made much of an appearance yet ; would you like to see more of him? _

That's all I have for now. God bless you, and happy reading!


	10. A Disaster Reveals Hidden Depths

I screamed as I went over the edge of the path, slung into open air as something dug claws and teeth into my leg. From this vantage point, hanging off the side of a cliff, I could see it was an Akuma trying to gnaw off my leg. I screamed in pain as I felt the claws rip through my pants and into flesh. Doggonit, I'd just had my legs stitched up, and I was going to keep them from getting stitched again! I kicked the Akuma, a panther-look-a-like, in the face as I tried to unbuckle my Innocence from my hip. Not only was I scared, I was frustrated and angry as it was. Screw with me, why don't you...

Above me I could hear the Sherpas and Exorcists shouting in surprise as my sudden weight dragged them all back. I looked up as I tried to unbuckle my whip, noting that Kanda was unsheathing his sword. My eyes widened as I watched him brandish it, swinging it in the air. Even with the visibility practically down to nil, I could tell what was on his mind.

"No... no no no no no, oh no you don't you little -" I muttered under my breath, finally removing my whip and snapping it down at my leg. The wire slammed into the Akuma, and I suddenly had a clear view of the ground below.

I was almost five thousand feet above the ground... Yep, I was going to die.

I started to laugh as I realized that I was being used as a literal chew toy for an Akuma, and I hung on to my rope tenaciously as I used my other hand to punish the thing trying to take off my leg. The Akuma itself was in danger of dying seeing as a fall from this height would probably crush it. I could hear the sounds of cutting, and I looked up at Kanda with a glare.

"HEY! I'M NOT DEAD YET! STOP SAWING THE ROPE!" I shouted, having had enough. I wasn't expendable! Kanda looked down, and he suddenly shouted back, "It's not you I'm trying to saw off! IT'S ME!" I had to do a double take. Despite the Akuma's best efforts it couldn't seem to get past the padding, and it was hardly hanging on, so that wasn't my main focus.

"WHAT?" I shouted, looking back up, scrunching my face as wind blew off my hood and left me freezing. The Sherpas were trying desperately to reel us both in, digging their heels into the snow, and I saw that the rope connecting Kanda and I had tangled around his legs and pinned him against a rock outcropping, essentially cutting off blood to his legs. My eyes widened as I watched him saw the rope with one hand while holding on to my end with gritted teeth.

"KILL THE BLOODY AKUMA ALREADY SO WE CAN PULL YOU UP! I CAN'T JUST GROW BACK A PAIR OF LEGS!" he shouted in frustration, and I proceeded to do just that. The Akuma, however, had managed to point a gun at my face, finally, probably after realizing it _had _a gun on its shoulders, and I screamed girlishly as I began to swing on the rope in a frantic attempt to subvert a gunshot to the face. Several bullets flew around smacking into my surroundings, and I was lucky enough to dodge all of them.

I suddenly smashed my head into the rock, and stars exploded in front of my eyes. The Akuma suddenly clawed its way up my body, probably thinking I was dead, and it began to scootch up the rope. Its tail smacked me in the face, bringing me back to the world of the living despite having a _massive _headache. A hammer suddenly swung like a pendulum over my head and smacked the Akuma off of my rope, probably sending it all the way to Timbuktu. Relieved, I tried to spin around and grab the rock when, very suddenly, I was dropped.

"AAAGH!" I was abruptly stopped, and my back almost snapped in half. I grunted as I took those G-forces and stuffed them in places they should not go. Dazed, I looked above me. Kanda was dangling precariously as another Akuma, probably the counterpart of the one Lavi'd just smacked into next Tuesday, attacked from ahead rather than behind.

"Mag, climb up here!" Kanda ordered, and I clung to my rope. I looked up, and I immediately shook my head. I was too scared to try and climb up this thing. All my anger had fizzled out, and I was a good couple thousand feet off the ground. That wasn't happening. The storm lessened enough for me to see Kanda's face, and he looked weary. I didn't blame him. I could sleep for a good decade or so if I ever got out of here alive.

"Look, there's a ledge we can climb up on and try to get back on the main trail! I have to cut our rope, though, to reach it! If you don't get over here, I'm going to cut this rope, and I'm going without you! Do you hear me!" Realizing he was actually suggesting to _kill _me in order to save his own hide, my anger came back in full force. Grumbling all the way, trying to maintain that angry flame, I climbed up the rope with shaking arms, my leg oddly numb. After inching my way up, I grabbed on to Kanda's belt, and he lifted me with his arms until he was holding me around my waist.

"We're sitting ducks hanging here. Eventually Bozo Number Two up there is going to notice that we're dangling here like target practice. The rope is stuck in between those two rocks, and there's no getting it out without digging. I'm going to swing us over to _that _ledge -" He pointed to a ledge on the opposite side of the trail, almost three hundred feet below. That would put us on a completely different trail!

" - and I'll cut the rope, and we'll land in the snow," he finished, sounding oddly calm for a guy suggesting we fall to our deaths_. _I stared at him incredulously before gasping, "You made me climb all the way up that rope just to tell me how we were going to _die? _What is wrong with you? You could've at least shouted it to me down there, and I could've kept from wasting the effort!" Kanda stared at me, completely deadpan, and he suddenly put his legs on the rock wall and began to push. I clung to him, realizing he was actually serious. A part of me had been hoping there'd been a Plan B. Or a Plan C. Or a Plan 'This Is How I'm Not Going To Kill Us'.

"Kanda... Kanda, this is a really bad idea." Of course, he ignored me. The sounds of fighting suddenly became more intense, and we were swinging in a wider and wider arc.

"Kanda, I'm serious, let's not do this!" I was clinging pretty tight now. I really didn't want to splat against the rocks. I'd always imagined I'd die as an old woman with a ton of cats in my house and my siblings along with about twenty nieces and nephews, fifty great-nieces and -nephews, several dogs, and Parley's descendants. Being turned into a Mag-Omelet... not so much. It was hard to stuff all those pieces into a coffin.

"KANDA, HAVE I MENTIONED I DON'T WANT TO DIE?"

We were at the pinnacle of our arc, now, and at this point, I had my face pressed into his neck so I could avoid seeing my death rush up to meet me. I tried to take what little comfort there was in the fact I at least had something to hang on to, and that _maybe _I'd black out before we hit the ground. I was also frantically searching for my Happy Place.

I couldn't seem to find it. I shouldn't be surprised.

"If you live, tell them I love them," I whispered, scrunching my eyes shut, half-hoping that Kanda couldn't hear me out of embarrassment, half-hoping he _could _on the off-chance he survived. It was almost a good bet that I wouldn't. If anything, my last thought was going to be about my family. And I was pretty darn well sure this was going to be my last thought.

"Tell them yourself." I blinked suddenly, looking up at him upon hearing the surprising response. Wait, what?

Suddenly he cut the rope, and we went sailing through the air. Most people, during great moments of fear, completely separate the screaming from the screamer, usually themselves, whenever experiencing something very frightening, as there was this blissful disconnect from reality. I didn't get the disconnect. I could _tell _I was screaming the entire way.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" I felt him curl around me suddenly, and he pressed my face into his neck deliberately, muffling my scream as we seemed to drift through the air for what seemed like forever.

We hit the ground so hard, I think all of my bones popped out of place before putting themselves back together again. He rolled to lessen the impact, and I realized why he'd curled around me pretty soon as I heard the crunch of our packs hitting rocks. I myself ended up rolling and smacking a couple patches of rocks, and I was almost certain that I'd have those bruises for the rest of my life. After another eternity, we stopped, the air whipping around us. I was laying on top of him, tense as a bowstring. I shivered, adrenaline practically drugging me, and I risked looking up. It sure didn't _look _like heaven, and I was hurting, so I was going to guess that we survived. Our packs had saved us from most of the force from the landing, I think.

Shaken, I lay my head back down against Kanda's neck, not even bothering to go with my gut as it rebelled against me. I was so tired that I didn't care I was hanging on to my least favorite mentor like a monkey. For now, I wasn't Mag, the obsessively ordered Worry Queen who couldn't tolerate touch. I was just Magnolia, tired, beaten, but alive. Suddenly, I stared to giggle, and I felt Kanda shift.

"What are you laughing about?" His voice practically hummed in my throat considering I was _that _close, and I was suddenly brought back to the present. Magnolia The Tired reverted back to Mag The Prudish Anxiety Champ, and I tacked on propriety to the list of things I should uphold now that I was no longer in danger. I rolled off of him quickly, immediately realizing that this was a bad idea as just about every part of my body threw in its two cents to my brain. Nevertheless, I continued to laugh, finally laying down in the snow and guffawing.

"I'm alive! Hahahaha, I'm still alive. Oh my God, I am still in one piece. Ah, I think I'm just going to lay here for a little bit and just... enjoy aliveness," I sighed, finally done with my laughing fit. I was sore all over, and I was sweating like a pig inside of my snow suit, but I wasn't scattered across the mountain side. I just felt this amazing feeling of appreciation for being able to just _breathe. _

"Is this how you feel every time you nearly die?" I asked breathlessly, craning my neck up to look up at Kanda. He turned his head slowly, and he almost smiled. I was surprised, to say the least.

"Just about. This was nothing. I've jumped from higher without breaking a sweat," he grumbled, heaving himself up into a sitting position. He dusted off the snow that caked his jacket, and I tried to sit up myself.

"What now?" I asked, slowly getting up. He looked down at the snow, and I realized that it had red splattered over a good portion from where I'd been sitting. Considering I hadn't been holding any red dye in my bag, I was going to say that was my blood all over the place.

"Get that checked out. We'll hike a bit higher and set up there. Taking off your pants here would freeze off your legs," Kanda told me, and at the mention of 'taking off pants' I felt like someone had stuck my face in a heater. Did he have to put it like that? It was sad to say that it was becoming a rather unfortunate habit of mine to have to get my legs checked out. I don't remember getting this many leg injuries _before _starting off with these three. Sheesh.

After a hundred feet up the new trail, I realized that we'd lost a visual of the others, and I groaned. We were separated. That was just perfect. I took another step, and suddenly I toppled into the snow. Hands gripped the back of my jacket and hauled me to my feet again, and I tried to find my balance. Kanda leaned down to take a look at my leg, his hair whipping everywhere in the fierce wind, and I wondered how he could see anything with the snow this thick. He shook his head, and he shouted, "No good! We set up over there!" He pointed to a small formation in the lee of the wind, and I nodded wearily. I couldn't feel my other leg, but I could tell that it was getting worse by how it refused to cooperate with me.

It took us about an hour to set up our tent. We both were carrying tents that could hold two people on the off chance that someone lost their gear on the mountain, and it was coming in handy. We only had to unpack one tent rather than two, and it would keep us together. I hated the idea of sharing living space, though. I was loathe to say it, but I enjoyed my space now that I was away from my family. I was so used to being surrounded by clutter that it had been a freeing experience to finally live somewhere that didn't have clothes, toys, books, and food spread everywhere like some sort of tornado had ripped through.

We lit a lantern inside of the tent after sealing it from the inside, and the wind threatened to shove everything over. It was dark, and the sun must have already set by now. I shivered in the tent, sitting on my sleeping bag, as I watched the tent's hide exterior buck and strain. Kanda suddenly moved next to me, and he said, "Take 'em off." I blinked in perplexity before realizing what he was talking about. It dawned on me that if I didn't, he'd never be able to see how bad the wounds on my legs were. After a moment's deliberation I sucked it up with a grumble, and I started to slip them off. Halfway through, I looked up at him and asked irately, "Do you mind? Can't you, like, face the wall or something first? I'd like to keep some of my decency." Kanda sniffed, but nevertheless he turned around.

Keeping an eye on him, I shrugged the rest of them off, exposing the wounds to open air. I sighed as I noticed that these were definitely not as large as the others I'd had nearly two months ago. There were minor scratches from the Akuma clawing away at the fabric and just barely nicking the skin, but the other, deeper punctures were from it initially grabbing my leg in the first attack. They were mostly lodged in my lower thigh and upper calf.

We ended up slapping bandages on it from the first aid kit Kanda had packed in his bag after cleaning it with some water that was almost frozen. Afterwards, we set our sleeping bags as far apart as possible and immediately tried to forget that the other person existed.

And then it got very, very cold. And then it got very, very dark. And then I got very, very uncomfortable. I didn't like the dark, and I didn't like the cold, and I didn't like being in a tent with Mr. Grouchface. I wasn't going to be able to sleep well.

* * *

"How much farther?" I groaned. I had been hiking for the past seven hours since the sun had come up. My lungs hurt from breathing the freezing air, and I was beginning to cough. Even Kanda wasn't immune - he was hacking away about fifty feet ahead of me, rope the only thing separating me from him. After he was finished spewing a lung, he answered over his shoulder, "Another two hundred feet. We'll stop at that ledge." The storm had slowly grown fiercer the higher we'd gone, and the golem packed in Kanda's bag continued to malfunction, giving us only half the transmissions and then sending half the transmissions back out. From what we'd heard, Bookman had opted that we both go down K2, but from what I could tell off of Kanda's expression, that wasn't happening any time soon.

Much to my chagrin. I could do with going back to base camp.

The storm suddenly gusted a blast of snow in my face, and I shouted in surprise as a jagged piece of ice hit me in the eye. I tripped over a rock and fell over, yanking my rope. I slowly sat up in the snow, facing back down the mountain, and I could feel Kanda tugging the rope, his way of telling me to get my fat, lazy bum off the ground and start moving again. I slowly got up -

And I was subsequently attacked for the second time in less than forty-eight hours. My only thought happened to be _Oh dear God, not again. _

The thing I wrestled with had six legs, all of which had sharp hooves, and a horse's face full of long, needle sharp teeth. I screamed as I tried to kick it off of me, and it suddenly revealed two canons in its midsection as it reared on its hind legs. I scrambled to my feet, dodging the hit by inches as I was showered with snow and bits of rock, and I slid on the snow as I raced upwards.

"Kanda! I'm being attacked again! I think Lavi didn't kill that other Akuma very well considering it's _coming after me!_ A LITTLE HELP WOULD BE NICE!" I shouted as I finally got my fingers to cooperate with my whip. I snapped it back behind me, not even bothering to look, and the horse-insect-thing whinnied in pain.

"YOU WILL PAY, EXORCIST, FOR THE DEATH OF IMOGEN!" it screamed after me, and I tried to just keep my legs pumping. Kanda noticed my predicament, _finally, _and he stood at the top of the slope as if he didn't have a single care in the world. He very well may not have. I skidded behind him as the thing behind me raced up the slope, and I gave it another whack, in the hopes it might slow it down. It reared up, and I moaned, "Not again."

Kanda looked a little perplexed, and I dropped to the ground and said, "You might want to duck." No sooner had I said that, a cannonball with teeth screeched, and Kanda hit the deck to avoid it. However, it seemed to have a mind of its own considering it came back.

"I'll take care of the cannonball! You take out the Akuma! Bigger target - more to hit!" Kanda ordered, and I was only too happy to oblige. Fear sank into my skin, making me stink of fright as I begged my Innocence to work with me today. Some days it was more gracious than others. I was hoping today was one of the gracious days.

It seemed that was the case, seeing as it suddenly burst into flame at my beckoning, and I momentarily forgot my fear to do a little cheer. I was brought back down to Earth when the Akuma that had chased me whinnied twenty feet away. I shouted in surprise, whipping it across the torso.

After a good thirty minutes of fighting, I'd managed to whittle off three of the Akuma's legs, put a nice looking gash in its horsey face, and get rid of its tail (which I learned had spikes the hard way). Kanda was still busy dispatching the cannonball with teeth, and the Akuma had released about four more. He looked like he was holding up well, though.

We were pushed over the ledge on to a large, flat shelf. The Akuma followed us, and the storm was not helping me too much considering I could see about as well as a bat in broad daylight. Blindly, I whipped out, and Kanda cried out. I turned to him, and with my guard down the Akuma bowled me over, covered in demonic insects. I screamed as the ghostly prawns chewed away at the whinnying Akuma, and it took me a minute to realize that was Kanda's doing. I tripped it with a swift flick of the wrist (though it took me three tries), and the Akuma died. I sighed in relief, glad that I had a chance to finally rest.

A cannonball latched on to my shoulder and neck the second after, and Kanda speared it, nearly taking off my arm. It had happened so fast that I registered Kanda's sword before realizing that the cannonball had bit me. I gasped at just how badly it hurt. The teeth must've gone deep.

"Great. One more thing I'm going to have to undress for," I muttered under my breath as Kanda yanked me along with the rope. The pain was so great that I started to tear up. It was cold, though, and the open wound eventually began to dull into an ache. Later in the tent, I'd probably sob my heart out, though. Adrenaline kept me from making a turning on the waterworks.

I ran to catch up to Kanda, and I told him, "Where to now? Do we continue to the top, or do we wait for a reception?" He shrugged, and I rolled my eyes. He _never _had a plan, it seemed. It was just 'hack, cut, slash'. I decided to walk ahead of him instead, taking the lead and letting him rest. We'd gone on and off so far, though he'd had to walk next to me in the rougher parts of the track because of my injured leg.

Speaking of which, he'd caught up to me, and we began a game of leap frog, trying to get ahead of the other.

Until I smashed into the rock face, that is. I wasn't kidding when I said visibility was bad.

"Crap. This is where the shelf ends," I muttered, looking up and rubbing my nose. Kanda didn't deign to answer, and I sighed. I didn't know why I'd thought he'd do anything different. He got ahead of me, walking farther away from the rock wall. I followed faithfully behind, and then suddenly, as always, we were hit with another disaster.

A large part of the sheer rock face above broke off, and I could only stare as it came down.

"Aw, for the love of..." I breathed, and I ran for the safety of the wall, hoping not to get crushed. Kanda disappeared from my line of sight, but then again I was preoccupied with trying not to die. The rocks continued to fall for nearly ten minutes, raining down out of nowhere. I could guess where all those came from, seeing as there was the sound of gunshots and explosions farther above. Well, it looked like we found the other group...

The storm seemed to clear near the wall, and I could actually _see _farther than my nose. I slowly came out of the crouch that I was in, and I stared out at the aftermath. Rocks were everywhere, yes, and it had broken the shelf. The shelf, well, wasn't actually a shelf - it was a massive, frozen lake. Ice chunks floated amid new monoliths while dark water reflected the sky. I shook in shock as I realized that the spot I'd been standing at was now replaced by a massive hunk of stone bigger than an automobile, and I took a deep breath. I looked up and mouthed 'thank you' before picking my way through the debris, looking for my mentor. Luckily the rope I had around my waist led me directly to him, but I don't know if that was a good thing or not.

He was in the lake, half-in, half-out. One leg was trapped under a huge hunk of rock that poked out of the ice, almost trapping him underneath the water. I gasped as I realized that it was drowning him, and I raced to get to him, careful not to send myself plummeting into the freezing water.

"Aw, crap..." I muttered as I put my arms under his armpits and tried to haul him out. He shouted in pain, and the rock seemed to sink farther into the lake. He wrapped his arms around my neck, hanging on for dear life. His face was plastered with his hair, and he was icy cold to the touch. His lips had quickly turned blue, and he was shivering.

"Don't let go," he said, and for a moment I could've sworn that a touch of desperation crept into his voice. His breathing was labored, and I continued to hold him up. He was losing strength quick. The water was so cold that just the moisture seeping out of his clothes was enough to freeze my hands. I shifted my grip around him, and I said, "I won't, don't worry. You're my ticket out of here." He seemed to chuckle, and he leaned his head on my shoulder. I leaned my face away, feeling awkward.

"All right. Try to move me," Kanda ordered, and I attempted to haul him back out. The wound in my shoulder and my leg screamed, and I whimpered as I gave up. Kanda sighed in disappointment. For several moments, we just stayed there, his arms locked around my neck, and my arms linked around his chest. I realized that night was slowly falling. If we stayed for too long, the both of us would freeze to death.

"Mag?" Kanda's voice sounded pretty far away, and his body was becoming cold. He wasn't even shivering anymore. I was so cold that I was practically numbed all over, my wounds failing to get any reaction from me.

"Yeah?" I breathed, coughing into my shoulder. The snow got into my eyes, making it hard to see. The ice was beginning to refreeze, and Kanda squirmed, trying to free his trapped leg. He finally leaned his head back against my shoulder again, staring at the sky. He was breathing in gasps now, tired out from trying to free himself.

"I don't want to die," he whispered. His face scrunched with pain, and I heaved up again. He hissed in pain, but he worked his leg back and forth. Blood colored the water darker than black, and it was getting colder. His grip was strong, a telling sign. If I hadn't known better, I would've thought he was scared. And... who knew, maybe he was. I was, too. Night was going to fall, and I couldn't just leave him here. As much as he was a pain in the back end, he wasn't worth leaving.

"Hey... I won't let you die. I promise," I murmured, pulling back on him. We worked back and forth, me pulling and him squirming out from underneath. As we did, he chuckled darkly and said, "You know, of all the ways to kick the can, this is the suckiest I can think of. Killed by a falling rock - tch. Freaking depressing." He coughed, hacking so hard I almost thought he'd spew blood. Painfully I smiled, my lips cracking.

"I have to admit, that is a pretty sorry way to go out," I stated, and suddenly he screamed. Startled, I almost dropped him, but I managed to keep a hold on him as his grip around my neck nearly choked me. The rock shifted, and his leg came free. I took the chance to scuttle backwards with him, dragging him out of the water. He tried to stand, but his legs were two hunks of iced-over flesh. It was like trying to stand him up on crooked wooden planks. Quickly, I set up camp as fast as I could manage, hoping to deter frostbite and the storm. Twice the tent nearly blew away, but I managed to keep a hold of it.

At last, we both got in.

"Alright, now your turn. Take 'em off," I said, motioning to his legs, breathless with exhaustion. Kanda hesitated before rolling his eyes at the irony, and he worked his way out of his pants with my help. From his upper thigh to his ankle, the entire thing looked pulped. He wasn't going anywhere like that. I nearly gagged at the sight of it. Kanda's skin was still cold to the touch, and it was apparently that we were both going to have to take... drastic measures. I covered him with my jacket, the inside lining warm and dry, and I rubbed his shoulders hoping to get some warmth back into his skin.

After he was at a suitable temperature, I splinted and bound up his leg despite his cursing and spitting. I myself was beginning to shiver as the cold set into my skin, the water doing its work. I still hadn't had my shoulder looked at, and I just about cried as Kanda helped me peel off the shirt. It seemed like the both of us were getting injured left and right. We might as well walk around in our underwear with a massive sign over our heads saying 'TARGET PRACTICE: 25 CENTS'. I had my shoulder bound, much to my embarrassment, and the two of us finally faced the one thing we were trying to avoid.

His sleeping bag was soaked. Mine was still dry. Things were about to take on a whole new level of awkward.

"Just get it over with. Touch me at all, and I'll slice off your hand," Kanda grumbled, his teeth chattering, looking angry and crossing his arms belligerently. I sighed as I hesitantly began to help him into my sleeping bag. The fur-trimmed insides didn't really stretch well, unfortunately, so that meant it was going to be a bit of a tight squeeze.

"You know, I think I'll just sleep out here," I said, shivering and chickening out. Kanda stared at me, and he beckoned me with a finger. I didn't like the look on his face. My stomach didn't either, and it made sure that I knew it. I inched over, and he yanked down the collar of my shirt. He pointed to the injury there, and he said, "If you don't get into this bag, you'll never sleep, _that _will never heal up, your leg will fall off, and we'll be stuck here." I winced. He had a point, but I hated to abandon propriety for practicality.

Of course, I wasn't an idiot. I wasn't about to sacrifice sleep for modesty. Not to mention, I was so exhausted that I couldn't hardly think straight. I finally crawled into the sleeping bag, chewing on a piece of jerky as I did so, that being the only dinner we could scrape together from my pack. At least, we were back to back, and my face probably glowed in the dark. We were almost right on top of each other in this one-person sleeping bag, and I was getting very, very warm. Luckily, Kanda had extra clothes that had managed not to get wet, so we weren't literally going to sleep skin to skin.

"Hey, idiot student." I felt my eye twitch. Sighing, I shifted to show I'd heard, staring at the only light source, a lantern, and I felt a certain amount of paranoia. What if Akuma attacked us in our sleep? What if they could see the light from outside? What if Kanda decided to kill me in the middle of the night? What if a Yeti came out of nowhere and just wrecked the place? What if, what if, what if, what if...

"You... uh, you're... well...I, uh, just... I'm holding you to that promise you made," Kanda suddenly spat out, obviously just as awkward as I felt. I turned to look at him over my shoulder in surprise.

"What promise?" I asked blearily. Kanda looked back as well, but he quickly turned to stare out the other way as he realized he was looking straight at me, and he muttered, "About not letting me die." I backtracked in my head, trying to remember when I said that, and it finally hit me. I plucked up the courage to turn over, propping my head up on my uninjured arm. My curiosity got the better of me as I asked, "Are you afraid to die?" Kanda was quiet, and he turned over as well. I was startled at just how much _younger _he looked, and I shifted to give him room. He winced as he probably landed on his leg, and he said, "Never thought much of it."

"You're oddly chatty now," I quipped, and he glared.

"Enjoy it while it lasts," he muttered, crossing his arms. I sighed, ruffling my hair.

"I heard you and Lavi talking about something earlier. About... something about you -" He cut me off with a look, and I immediately shut up.

"I don't want to talk about it," Kanda said quietly, but rather than opt to turn back over, he looked down. He toyed with a stray piece of fur, and suddenly he asked, "How much did you hear?" I sighed, wondering how much I could give away. If I told him too much, he'd know I heard the rest of that conversation, too.

"Enough of it to understand that something's going on... with you and... well, dying," I answered, hoping that was vague enough to discourage suspicion. Kanda looked oddly contemplative before telling me, "I am afraid to die. I don't want to - I've still got things to do down here. I'm still looking for- ... Never mind." He gruffly looked off again, becoming his usual, grouchy self. Well, there went that window of opportunity.

"Are _you_ afraid to die?" he asked hesitantly, and I looked at him incredulously.

"Don't you see me running like the devil's after me whenever I'm chased? Yes, I'm afraid to die," I stated plainly, and he answered back with his usual response: "Tch."

"Well... I'm glad, then. Some idiots don't understand the concept of fear. It's not always a bad thing. You just can't let it overrule you," Kanda muttered, looking up briefly. We locked eyes for a moment, and I couldn't help wondering if maybe the cold had addled his brain. He'd never said more than a few words to me, usually half in grunt form. Now he was actually _talking._

"So you can be... afraid?" I asked, stumbling for the right words. Kanda stopped for a moment. Looking oddly pensive again, he muttered, "Yeah. I can be afraid. It doesn't happen often. But it happens." It suddenly occurred to me that I'd kind of considered Kanda nothing more than a dumb brute, and now that I was realizing he actually had a _brain _in that thick skull I was beginning to feel a little boggled and maybe a touch guilty.

"What are you afraid of? Besides dying?" I inquired quietly, as if by speaking too loud I'd shatter his sudden streak of good-naturedness. He glanced at me, frowning darkly, and it took me a moment. I pointed at myself in surprise, raising my eyebrows, and he rolled his eyes.

"Why would you be afraid of _me?_" I whispered, oddly flattered and dismayed at the same time. What, was I ugly? Or so annoying he was afraid of killing himself out of sheer frustration? I wasn't exactly a fearsome young lady. The most 'fearsome' I could put up on my own was when Mother Nature called on me once a month. That's about as scary as I can get.

"Not _you _in particular. I never wanted a student. Students entail... attachment," Kanda grumbled, turning over to look away from me. Aaah, there's the problem. He didn't want to get attached to me. What was I, a puppy? That was almost downright insulting. Besides, he was doing an awfully good job of staying at arm's length as it was. Forget arm's length, he had me at rugby-court-length. I hadn't met a more disassociated person in my life.

"What's so bad about attachment?" I asked, becoming bolder. I raised myself higher so I could see his face over his shoulder. He didn't even bother to look back as he said, "When you outlast everyone around you, attachment gets to be pretty meaningless." I bit my lip, thinking on that for a bit. That was probably very true in his case. From what I'd heard, he could go through Finders like popcorn at a movie theater. I could see how getting attached to _anyone _would be a bit of a problem. Still, as I thought back, I noticed that those people who'd risked attachment had been better off for it, even if that person... died. Or left. Or disappeared one day out of the blue, just on a whim.

"Some people are worth it, I think. Sometimes it's better to have known that person and watched them leave or die rather than never having known them at all," I rebutted quietly. Kanda looked at me over his shoulder, and he only scoffed. He didn't say anything, and I figured that Happy Heart-To-Heart Time was over. I lay back down, turning around again so I was resting on my injured shoulder. I was halfway asleep when he suddenly said, "You'd better be worth it, then. I'm stuck with you for nearly a year."

"If I make it that long," I muttered. He jabbed me with his elbow, albeit softly, and he growled, "You'd better not die, either. I'm not going to put all that work into someone who's just going to up and kick the bucket." I smiled, thinking about all the ways that I was likely to take a one way ticket to Heaven. It was easier to list how I _wouldn't _die than how I would.

"I guess you're just going to have to keep me alive," I quipped back.

"Knowing you, that's going to take an act of God. You attract danger like dead meat to flies," he grumbled, and he turned over. At this point I didn't care that I was practically butted up right next to him. I was so tired I could take on Rip Van Winkle in a napping contest. Personal space was becoming the least of my worries.

"Take it... as... a challenge, then, Mr. Swordsman..." I sighed, the warmth sending me off to sleep. I didn't hear his comment back on that because as soon as I'd finished that sentence I disappeared into Slumberland.


	11. A Dumb Decision To Make

We stayed in our tent for nearly five days. The storm that blew in was so strong snow kept piling in and crushing the tent. I had to go out and clear it almost every three hours or so. Kanda's leg healed at a phenomenally fast rate, going from 'piece of meat' to 'almost human' to 'looking like a leg' in about three days. I'd looked at him a little funny, but it only took him a single glare to dissuade me from asking questions.

He'd been largely silent after our first conversation the night we'd come to the ice lake, and I think I was about to go nuts. I wasn't one to keep my mouth shut for long periods of time, and I wasn't used to being without at least three or four people with me every minute of the day. Being alone with him was driving me up the _wall. _Luckily, I had plenty to do so I didn't beat my head against the rock wall outside. I'd cataloged our food about three times over, divided it up into rations seven times, counted the amount of silverware I had in the side pockets of my bag ten times, and folded all my clothes into my pack so neatly that I actually had extra room. Kanda, meanwhile, just sat there and meditated. For a while, I thought he might be dead considering he was sitting so still, but the rise and fall of his chest said otherwise.

I think he was about ready to crack on the fifth day, though, because he suddenly started to teach me about strategy using rocks and his sword's sheath. That somehow devolved into us talking about rabbits and how they _must _be liquids, and it eventually dropped on top of the subject of my family.

"Don't get me started on Lily. Lily... dear Lord in Heaven above help me, but if she isn't the very thing that turns my hair gray," I said, holding a very one-sided conversation. Kanda tended to just grunt in affirmation that he'd heard me, though he did manage to keep me in sight rather than falling asleep. I toyed with a rock, looking back over my shoulder at the door to the tent. The snow was piling up again. I hated having to go out and clear it away. I already had bandages all over my hands from cutting fingers on sharp bits of rock.

"What's it like to have family?" Kanda suddenly asked. I looked at him, surprised. Of all the questions I would've expected him to ask... that definitely wasn't one of them. I licked my chapped lips before suddenly entering a coughing fit, and after I recovered, I said, "One word: crazy." Kanda raised a single, sarcastic eyebrow. Yeah, he probably already knew that. I scooted so that my back was to the wall of the tent, and I told him, "It's... chaotic and comforting all at the same time. You have this support group that won't ever leave you."

"Unless someone dies," Kanda muttered under his breath, and I chuckled morbidly.

"Or leaves. That, too. Families aren't perfect," I added. Each of my siblings had a different father, besides the obvious. I suddenly grabbed my bag, and I dug around for my pocket watch. Mom had left each of us a little token - or, more like, we'd grabbed a token of hers and kept it. Violet had a hankie. The twins each had an earring with her silhouette. Lily kept a harmonica. Ava had a worn out fan. Other people had other things, too, to remember Zelda by.

I popped open the pocketwatch, and he held out a hand for it. I looked at him like he was crazy.

"Are you joking? I'm not handing it to you," I stated bluntly. This was one of my few, earthly prized possessions. It wasn't leaving my hands. He deadpanned at me and made a half-hearted grab for it, but I evaded it.

"You can look, but you can't touch," I said seriously in my 'Mommy' voice, almost doing it out of habit. How many times had I told that to my siblings the minute they walked into a china shop? More times than I could count. Reluctantly I turned the pocket watch towards him.

"This is all of them. Before Ava," I explained.

From a small photograph, my family stared. I was only fourteen when we'd taken the picture, so Ava hadn't been born yet. As I stared at the picture, I almost forgot where I was, and I brought the pocket watch closer to me, contemplating each and every face. The photograph was worn and scuffed on the edges, but each face was still clear. Violet had been so chubby as a child, and she actually wore decent clothes back then. The twins had looked so much more mischievous, too. Their hair was a mess, as always. Lily stood behind them, so much taller than the rest of us, pretty black hair in ringlets. My mother stood in the middle with a hand on my shoulder and the other hand on...

The picture had a hole in it where another person was standing. My hands shook as I felt tears prick my eyes, suddenly feeling very lonely despite the person sitting next to me. I hadn't realized just how badly I wanted to go back home. Though my family no longer worried about starving and everyone was clothed and mostly happy, I almost wished we could go back to those beggar days with my mother when we used hand-me-downs and lived in a two room tenement. Everyone was together. Everyone was fairly stable. Everything was normal.

I really missed normal.

A drop appeared on the clock face, and I stared in surprise. I wiped my face quickly, snapping the pocket watch shut. I sat there, staring into my lap at the burnished cover of the watch, running my thumb over it. I took a deep breath, clearing out my mind. I was going to depress myself at this rate.

"Family hurts too, huh?" I looked up in surprise, realizing I still had company. Kanda's face was blank as ever, stoic and unchanging, and I looked away, suddenly ashamed. Sometimes I was prone to emotional outbursts, especially if I bottled things up for too long. I coughed into my elbow, using that as an excuse not to answer.

We were silent for the rest of the day, and we took turns sleeping as night fell.

My dreams were restless and uneasy, as always, but that night I dreamed of my family, one by one, going down trapdoors I knew led to nowhere. Each one looked oddly serene as I tried to scream at them, but they just disappeared down the holes in the ground without a care. It took me a long while to realize I was standing on a trapdoor, and before I vanished I sucked in a huge breath to scream.

I woke up at that moment, coughing in spasms. It felt like my lungs were taking a page out of my rebellious stomach's book and trying to secede from the rest of my body. I finally stopped, breathing deeply. Behind me, Kanda was muttering in his sleep, and he didn't sound like he was having such a good time of it, either. I wiggled my way out without waking him to catch my breath, and I was surprised to find his face under a sheen of sweat, his face contorted into a look of blatant pain and struggle. I rolled over on to my hip, and I started to shake him awake.

"Kanda... Kanda, wake up... Kanda -" He moved so fast I didn't even have time to react. His sword was pressed against the bare skin of my throat, the metal so chillingly cold that the skin underneath immediately fell numb, and I stared in horror. I could feel just how sharp the blade was against my neck, and I tried to suppress the urge to swallow just in case I accidentally cut myself. Kanda was breathing heavily, and after he realized who he was pointing the blade at, he put it down as he began to cough as well.

"Don't... _do_ that..." I chattered, so stunned I didn't have room to be angry. He sat up and rubbed his face with a single hand. For several awkward moments, we just sat there, both of us half in, half out of my sleeping bag. His own sleeping bag refused to dry out, and it was annoying me (though I couldn't deny that having my own personal space heater wasn't enjoyable).

"What was all that about?" I asked. Kanda shook his head, and he threw himself back down, obviously angry.

"Nothing. Go back to sleep," he demanded, and I felt indignant. He wouldn't talk to me, wouldn't hardly acknowledge my presence, and when he did it was usually done derisively. Sure, we'd had a few moments where we were actually civil, but the vast majority of the time he pretended that I didn't exist. More than anything, I'd put up with it for six days.

"No. I'm not going back to sleep. You just about killed me. I think I deserve to know what's going on," I stated, sounding whiny to my own ears. Okay, so maybe I could've put that better. He hadn't meant to nearly decapitate me after all. Nevertheless, if he was a danger to me in his sleep he could at least warn me first.

"Mag, I'm serious. Go back to sleep," he grumbled. I threw my hands up, and I said, "Why do I even bother? For all I know, it was about your terrible childhood or something! But do I care? Noooo." Suddenly, Kanda became very stiff, and he curled on his side, hanging on to his sword tightly, sheath and all, as if it were the only thing in his world. It took me another moment to realize that I'd touched a rather raw nerve. My eyes widened as I thought about how touchy he was concerning family and attachment...

"Oh..." I breathed. What if... what if his family was dead? I'd never heard anyone talk about Kanda's family or friends or... anyone. All I knew was that he'd joined the Order young and that was where he'd stayed. Feeling like a heel, I hesitantly extended a hand to touch his shoulder, but then I thought better of it.

"I-I didn't... mean -" I began, realizing that the invincible Mr. Grouchface... wasn't as invincible as I'd like to think.

"Forget it," Kanda mumbled, sounding very tired all of a sudden. At a loss, I bit my lip, and I touched his arm. He didn't respond. Sighing and closing my eyes, I rubbed a thumb over the fabric of his shirt.

"I shouldn't have said anything, _shifu,_" I apologized, tacking on the Chinese word for master. At the beginning of our training he'd demanded that I treat him with the proper respect and refer to him as such, but I'd never taken him up on it. Usually I just called him by his last name or as Grouchface (though never right in front of him). He stirred slightly, and I lay back down.

"Mag, who's Rose?" My eyes popped back open. In my dream, she'd been there. Some part of me still counted her as... as family. I shivered, thinking about the dream, and the more I thought about it the more upset I became.

"No one," I answered back, my voice quavering. I guess one blow deserved another. There were a lot of things neither of us wanted to talk about, and we kept poking at those things with big sticks in the hopes that we'd get something out of it. Thinking back on where he must've heard it, I suddenly realized he must not be the only one who mutters in their sleep.

Kanda suddenly flipped over on to his back, and he stated, "We're two screwed up people."

"You can say that again," I muttered.

* * *

I woke up dazed. My head hurt, and I felt like my trachea had shrunk to the size of a straw. I was curiously warm, and to my horror I found an arm flung over me. The arm was connected to a shoulder which connected to a man I now know as my teacher. Talk about uncomfortable. Despite the odd position, I really didn't want to move. Not only was I warm, I was comfy. I'd taken painkillers from the first aid kit, and they'd done wonders for me so far. As silently and carefully as possible, I slipped out of my sleeping bag, wondering what just woke me up out of nowhere. It had to be five in the morning. One glance at my pocket watch told me otherwise - it was _four _in the morning. That was just fantastic.

I found out what had woke me up. Kanda's golem fluttered against his bag strap, trying to free itself while beeping frantically. I picked it up, and it immediately began to buzz around my head.

"Accept transmission," I yawned, stretching out.

"Hello? Hey, anyone there? Kanda, Mag?" I just about fell over as Lavi spoke. Of course, I don't know who else would've called us, but it was still a bit of a shocker.

"Y-yeah, this is Mag. Lavi, where are you?" I asked. It was quiet as the transmission crackled, and he answered, "On the far north side of the mountain. What about you guys. Any idea?" I tried to think of where exactly we must be, but I couldn't even figure out where we were in accordance with the sun. The storm was so thick that the sun was completely blotted out. I'd have to ask Kanda, which meant... waking him up.

"Hang on a second, let me get the Fire Breathing Dragon to wake up and tell you," I muttered irritably. Last night's little chat had been less than uplifting, and I still hated to think about the dream that I'd had. Despite this, I started to shake Kanda awake. It was a pity, really, seeing as he looked so much nicer asleep, but that was probably because he wasn't capable of glaring while unconscious.

"What? Get off of me," he grumbled, pulling a blanket over his head. I yanked on his ponytail, and he shoved me over with a single hand. I sat up with a look that would do an Akuma proud, and I dumped part of my bottle of water over his head. _That _got him up.

"What is WRONG with you?" he roared, finally in a sitting position. As an answer, I shoved the golem towards him. It was less than happy to be pushed around, and it slapped my fingers with its wings. All of us had woken up on the wrong side of the bed, or, rather, sleeping bag.

"I see you two have cohabitated nicely," Lavi sniggered, and if I could've I would've punched him through the air waves. Sighing, I said, "He wants to know where we are. I honestly have no idea, other than 'up'." Kanda scoffed, his usual response, and he wiped the water off his face. He was very much his old self by now, though his hair was a mess. He retied his ponytail, and he said, "We're on the northeast side. Can you meet us?"

"If I can _find _you first. How high up are you?" Kanda pulled out a little compass thing from his backpack, and he answered back, "Almost 7500 meters. What about you?"

"The same, give or take a few. Either way, there's a point where both our paths converge, I think. I've been following your progress, but I haven't been able to get any transmissions out. It looks like I'm not far from you. We can meet at a flat slope at 7900 meters. You can't miss it," Lavi answered, his voice tinny through the golem's speakers. I looked up at Kanda, glancing at his leg. Kanda noticed, and he answered back, "Alright. We'll be there." We disconnected, and I stared at Kanda.

"Can you go with that leg?" I asked. Kanda sniffed at me, and I decided to take that as a yes.

Within an hour, we were climbing up a ridge we'd found. Kanda was making much more progress than I was, sad to say. Though _he _could heal up a leg that looked like someone'd put it through a wood chipper, my arm and my leg were still sore as the day they'd been chomped on. I was finding it difficult to climb, and at times Kanda had to just lift me with the rope. He suddenly scrambled up and over the ridge, and I groaned. I still had a good fifty feet of rock to climb. From my vantage point, fifty feet was beginning to look like five hundred.

"Slow poke!" Kanda shouted down, and I looked up at him. He was leaning over the rock face, fearless as usual. Or, rather than lacking fear, controlling it very, very well. I scrambled up several more rocks, barely finding anywhere to put my feet. Suddenly, Kanda cursed above me, and something clattered twenty feet below on a rock outcropping. I looked down, and I laughed.

He'd dropped his sword. Somehow it'd come free of the sheath, and it was glistening down there, winking away. The wind swayed it slightly, but it looked like it was pretty well stuck. I was about to stick my tongue out at Kanda for being such a clumsy oaf (which he most certainly was not for the most part; a girl takes what she can get), but I noticed his almost distraught look. My heartstrings tugged, and it occurred to me that he _might _be a little attached to that piece of metal with a handle. Against my better judgment, I shouted, "Hang on, I'll go and get it!"

As I back-climbed, I wondered at the sudden burst of charity. This was the guy who'd poked, pulled, stretched, and nearly obliterated what patience I had. Even so, he still had his redeeming moments, and I guess that was what had me climbing down a rock wall for his stupid sword. He was a person, and I could at least be nice.

Unfortunately, it was quite a ways to the left of me, and I had to scoot to the ledge. I realized, suddenly, that there was nothing between me and the ledge that I could climb or hang on to. I looked up at Kanda, who was still connected to me via rope, and I shouted, "Can you swing me over to the other side? I can grab it and come back!"

"Too dangerous! I'll just go down and get it!" he shouted back, and I raised my eyebrows.

"Nah, it's fine! I trust you!" He'd swung me and saved my life once, so I guess I could count on him to do it again. It was quiet, and he finally shouted back, "Fine! Your funeral, not mine!" I rolled my eyes, and I gripped the rope tight. I tried desperately to remember not to look down. Fear was something I could apparently control. All I had to do was turn off the portion of my brain labeled Self-Preservation and hope that it worked.

"Ready!" I pushed off my section of ledge, and I started the slow swing over to the sword. It winked at me in the little sunlight there was, and my fingers brushed it. It scrabbled down a bit, and I gritted my teeth.

"You knock that down, and I'll drop you!" Kanda shouted, and I sighed. No good deed goes unpunished. I swung again, and this time I got a better grip. It came free, and I held the blade carefully as I drifted backwards. I smiled as I realized that a plan of mine had actually worked, and I held up the sword to show him.

Suddenly, the rope twisted, and I was sent careening in a circle. I put out a hand to stop me, and I ended up pushing myself away from the wall. I suddenly headed back towards the rock face, and I had all of a second to realize that I was about to smash into it before I felt a slicing sensation in my stomach. My face smashed into the rock, and I screamed as my face scraped against it.

I hung there for a few moments, breathing raggedly, before coughing. I yelped in pain, though, as a sharp, cutting agony went through my side, and I noticed that Kanda's sword was... somehow sticking out of me. Panicking, I shakily removed the sword with a short yelp, and I whimpered as tears began to dribble down my face, almost freezing instantly in the cold wind. My arms started to quiver, and I could feel hot, dripping blood stain my jacket as it gushed from some unseen wound.

"Mag? Mag!" I couldn't answer back. Breathing was so painful that I had to suck in a breath and hold it for as long as possible before taking another breath. I was trying not to sob from pain, and I cradled the sword in my arms. I reached up to tug on the rope, but doing that stretched my wound, and I let a pained cry escape before bringing my arm back down. I didn't know how far the sword had gone, but I could tell I was losing blood fast from how cold I felt.

"Mag! What's going on down there? MAG!" I bit my lip as I reached up and tugged the rope, and Kanda seemed to take a year and a day to haul me back up. When I didn't crawl over the ledge, he grabbed the back of my belt and pack, and he hauled me over, both of us landing in the snow. I shivered, not even willing to move. My breathing was wet, and every single breath was absolute agony. I couldn't think through the pain, so I didn't even notice Kanda carrying me up the slope. All I could do was cling and try to breathe, no matter how bad it hurt.

"What did you _do?_" he seethed, and I answered haltingly, "Did... did some... thing... stu...pid..." In hindsight, I should've just let Kanda, the more experienced and stronger climber, gauge just how easy it would be to get the sword and what was the best way. Instead, I had to butt in thinking that I was doing good, only to cause more trouble. He limped to a cave-like shelter, and he set me down. Immediately, he lit the lantern, and I felt him undo my jacket. The wound was revealed to open air, and I openly cried.

"You've sliced open your entire side... how did you _do _that?" Kanda muttered, and his voice went in and out. I thought he sounded awed and disgusted, but that could've just been me. I grabbed his hand suddenly as a spike of pain shot through me, and I suddenly realized that I was bleeding out so much that I was going to die. This wasn't the funny sort of way to die, either. This was painful, messy, and shameful, and Death was looming on me. It took all my will just to breath. My vision was beginning to fade in and out, and I was suddenly very, very scared.

"You must've pierced your stomach and cut up your liver. It looks like you've just about disemboweled yourself. A samurai would've been proud," Kanda muttered to himself as he busied himself with opening a bottle of water from his pack. He poured it over, and I vaguely realized I was screaming. When I came back, I was practically delirious. Kanda looked grim, and suddenly the pain started to dull. I knew better than to think that was some sort of medical magic - adrenaline was acting as a pain reliever. At one point in time, I'd worked as a hospice nurse, and I'd watched enough people die there to know how it worked.

As I lay there the realization that I was going to die hit me full force. I'd never see my family again. I'd never see my pets. All my friends, my colleagues, would disappear from me. There were so many things I'd wanted to actually do, and some of them were kind of stupid. I wanted to know what it was like to eat waffles with chocolate. I wanted to know what it was like to swim in a river without fear. Most of all, I wanted to know what it was like to finally live normally, in an actual house without worrying about rent, about where I'd go next, about where my family was at all times, about what we'd eat or wear, or about who was lurking around the next corner. The fact that I was going to miss so much sent me shivering, and the fear of the massive void waiting beyond whatever point death was bringing me to slammed my mind to a halt.

"Kanda?"

"Hm."

"...I'm scared." My voice sounded pitifully tiny. I refused to close my eyes on the off-chance I couldn't open them again. I could hear the blood rush in my ears. I'd already lost quite a bit of blood. There wasn't much left in me. I started to think about Violet, about how she'd witnessed one of our first pets, Snatches, die. He was a cat who'd been run over, and he laid there in her arms for nearly two hours before gasping his last. Violet tried to tell me that he was asleep, and I had to explain that he was dead. Violet was so freaking optimistic... I wondered if she would do the same with me. Try to say that I was only sleeping.

Suddenly, I was hoisted into his lap, and he was taking off a glove with his teeth while he cradled me with his other arm. I hissed in pain, and Kanda grabbed his sword with his free hand.

"Don't be scared. You're not going to die," Kanda muttered against my head as he put his sword in his other hand. I clung to his jacket, desperate to hold on to _something. _I didn't care that I was bleeding all over him. He suddenly felt my hand, and he muttered, "You're freezing."

"We're on a mountain and I'm losing blood. Thanks Captain Obvious," I stuttered, trying to keep some semblance of dignity despite gushing tears and snot. I buried my face into his jacket, shivering. It was incredibly cold. I didn't remember being this cold in my life. It felt like I was frozen solid.

"Stop wasting your breath," Kanda said, slicing open his free hand with the blade of his sword. Blood gushed out of the wound as he cut it twice in an 'X'. I stared in fascination, and he told me, "You tell _anyone _I did this, and I'm going to tell them you were delirious." He suddenly stuck his entire hand into my wound. I bucked and screamed, him holding me as tight as he could to keep me from flailing. After a few moments, he removed his hand from the wound, and I felt a peculiar itching sensation in my side. Pretty soon the pain began to disappear, and I lay there against him, utterly exhausted.

"Next time you decide to do something nice, don't," he grumbled as he started to bind his hand up with a spare kerchief, still holding me. I took several deep breaths, realizing that my side felt as if someone were stitching it up. I tried to look, but he ordered, "Just lay there and wait. Don't move - I don't want you accidentally tearing something. It's still doing its work." I gladly just lay there, waiting as the agony slowly dissipated. I vaguely wondered if he'd only alleviated the pain with some magic voodoo thing, but then I realized that I was actually beginning to feel _better. _I blinked, frowning as I noticed that I was breathing easier.

"Here, stand up," Kanda said, hauling me up. Curiously, I stood on my feet without hardly a twinge, and I examined the tear in my shirt. There was no wound. There was just clear, new skin stretched over it, good as new. I looked up at him, incredulous and light headed, and I demanded with a cracking voice, "What did you just do to me?" That wasn't normal. In fact, that was the farthest thing from normal I could think of. His blood had freaking _healing properties?_

"Tch. Obviously, you're perfectly fine," Kanda grumbled. He started to leave, and I stomped after him in the snow.

"You could do that before? How the heck... Why did you... KANDA!"

* * *

We hiked in silence to the check point Lavi had designated. We hadn't bothered to ask how many were with him. We'd kind of guessed that it was just him, himself, and... well, him. Lavi may be the friendliest of us, but that didn't mean he played well with others. It didn't take long for us to find him, seeing as we tripped over him.

"Holy - what is wrong with you!" I screeched at Lavi. Kanda and I had gone one after the other over Lavi. I was pretty irate at this point, what with Kanda declining to tell me he was some sort of walking magic medic as well as the vast list of other things that currently displeased me. Landing face down in the snow on Mount Qogori was not what I'd call my lifelong dream.

Lavi stirred from the snow, having obviously somehow managed to fall asleep. The storm was clearing up now, and the sky was visible. Lavi's hair stood out a mile against the landscape, and he blearily asked, "Say wha...? OH! You guys are here!" He brushed himself off and smiled that goofy grin as he trotted over to us. Kanda and I brushed ourselves off as he came over, and I wondered for a minute if Lavi was narcoleptic. That was the only explanation for why he'd be napping underneath half a foot of snowfall.

"The light is up there, another thousand meters," Lavi stated, pointing to the very top. I groaned. At this rate, we'd probably make it by nightfall, and I didn't fancy going up at night.

"Where's Bookman?" Kanda asked, and Lavi pointed farther down the mountain with one gloved hand.

"He's waiting at the six thousand meter marker. We had some difficulties, especially with his breathing. He's decided to wait down there with the other guides, seeing as they're getting altitude sickness, too," Lavi said, and I noted that he looked a little sickly. Something wasn't quite right about how he was talking either. It was a little slurred. Kanda must have noticed as well, because he said, "How fast did you go up? We stayed at seven thousand five hundred meters for nearly seven days." Lavi thought back, rubbing his good eye, and he stated, "Uh, went up about two thousand meters a day. There were a few problems, though, and I had to backtrack when I lost the trail I was using."

"Lavi, are you feeling okay?" I asked, coughing as I said so. The mountain air was chilling me to the bone, and my previous brush with death had not helped in with that situation. I knew that I'd start freaking out once we finally stopped, but for now I was holding together pretty well. Lavi nodded, and he frowned.

"Why do you ask?" Kanda and I looked at each other, and for a moment I was surprised at how well we'd managed to gauge each other's reactions. I could almost tell immediately what he was thinking - something was definitely wrong with the redhead, probably from going up the mountain too fast. It looked like he'd gone up on his own.

"We'll spend the night down here. My sleeping bag's mostly dry by now, so you can have yours back," Kanda stated, aiming the last bit to me. Lavi raised his eyebrows at us, smiling mischievously, and I glared. The wind whipped my hair around, and I jabbed a finger.

"No funny business. If you say anything, we'll deny it," I warned, and Lavi put up his hands in an innocent gesture. Kanda drove the point home with a swift point of his sword, not even bothering to say anything. We were both irate, and we were both taking it out on him, but man if it didn't feel good. We set up camp, but I found out my tent had a massive hole in it from Kanda's sword shearing straight through my side and into my backpack. It was a wonder that the contents hadn't just spilled out. My tight packing had kept the sword from damaging anything else, and for that I was thankful.

"Alright, who do I sleep with now?" I asked, throwing my hands in the air. This was becoming very tiring. I wanted to sleep in my own tent, dang it! I was tempted to sleep in the ruined one regardless of the hole. Sure I'd freeze to death, but I'd get to keep some of my dignity! Lavi poked his head out of his brightly colored tent to tell me, "You can sleep in mine! In fact, we can share a sleeping bag if you want! I make for a great heater!" I chucked a snow ball at his head, but he ducked before it could make impact. Sheesh, he was fast.

"Funny, har dee freaking har," I grumbled. It would take me quite a while to fix my tent, but I would manage. There was no way I was going to spend another day in someone else's living space.

The rest of the day was been spent planning our ascent to the top of the mountain. The plan was fairly simple. We'd take it at about a couple hundred feet every hour to try an ease us into that dangerous level. The air here was exceptionally thin, and breathing was subsequently getting more and more difficult. Lavi had said that if we tried to go up too fast, we'd develop pulmonary edema. In much simpler words, we'd choke to death on fluid in our lungs. That didn't sound like the most dignified way to die. Lavi himself said that we should probably stay at our current location for another few days, more for himself than anything else. Both Kanda and I agreed on that, perhaps the only thing we'd both agreed on this entire trip.

Night fell swiftly, and I tried to keep my thoughts from wandering back to my close call. Nevertheless, I remembered the fear all too well, and I was suddenly paralyzed. What would have happened if I'd been with anyone else besides Kanda? In that moment, I would have died and gone on to the next big thing. I believed in Heaven, but I also believed that it was a good thing to have a healthy dose of fear for whatever lay in wait behind the veil. I shivered, holding myself as I buried my face into the fur of my sleeping bag. I'd patched up my tent with a bit of ingenuity involving some sutures and a bit of clear nail varnish which had no business being in my bag, and now I felt exceedingly lonely. It was especially cold in my sleeping bag by myself. I'd grown accustomed to Kanda's odd, unnatural warmth, and now it felt oddly cool.

Suddenly, there was a rapping sound on the door of my tent, and I sat up. For a moment, I thought there was a Yeti outside my door from the looming shadow, but after a moment's inspection I realized it was a human figure. I sighed to myself as I unhooked the flap of my tent, and Lavi poked his head inside, hood and all.

"Can I come in? I'm getting buried out here," Lavi asked. His teeth were chattering so hard I thought he'd need to go down the mountain to see a dentist about the worn off nubs. I gestured for him to come in, ignoring my very vocal stomach and instant paranoia. Lavi sat down, sprinkling a ton of snow everywhere, and I made a face as he sprayed me with it while trying to get it off of him. He smiled and said, "Sorry. I didn't mean to get all your stuff wet." I sighed in a long-suffering manner, and I closed up my tent as fast as I could before the snow could pile up on the inside.

"What did you want to talk about?" I asked, knowing he was curious about something. He was always curious about something. He liked to shove his nose where it didn't belong. And one day, that nose was going to get chopped off for it, too. More than likely, Mugen will be doing the chopping.

"Well, I talked with Kanda, and he told me about your little, uh, mishap. I just wanted to make sure you were okay," Lavi stated. I narrowed my eyes at him suspiciously. What did he mean by 'make sure I was okay'? Was that some sort of excuse or something? I crossed my arms and gave him a sharp look. He threw up his hands, and he sighed, "I don't have an ulterior motive. I know what it's like to almost die. It's not exactly a fun mental walk in the park." Shifting on my sleeping bag, I bit my lip and considered his offer. I still had my doubts.

"What do you really want? Do you have a hole in your tent too?" I asked bluntly. Lavi looked sheepish.

"Uh, actually, two of the poles broke, and now I'm sleeping inside of a flat sack instead of a tent," he admitted. Ah, there was the problem. I knew it wasn't just to check up on me. My gut was never wrong. And the times where it is wrong don't count, because those times are flukes. That was my argument, and I was sticking to it.

"I knew it was more than just sentiment," I muttered wearily. Lavi suddenly looked vaguely concerned, and he leaned forwards, asking, "Look, I'm serious, though. Are you really okay? Coming that close to death is a scary thing. Especially after being treated by a guy like Kanda. I love him and all, but he has all the therapeutic effects of a heart attack." I snickered. I had to agree with that. Kanda was not exactly counselor material. I took a deep breath, and I answered, "I'm... shaken. It kind of hit home that I, uh... I've done a lot of things I'm not proud of and that I have a lot of things I'm not done with yet, either." Lavi put his chin on his knee, and he asked, "Like what?" I looked down at my hands, thinking about it.

"I still have six kids to raise," I mumbled, looking up. "I... can't die yet, not to leave them. Lily is nowhere near ready to take care of them all, not mentally and emotionally. She's just not..." I suddenly noticed that Lavi was staring at me rather intently, and I blinked.

"What?" He straightened up, and he shrugged. I motioned for him to go on, and he hesitantly said, "You think a lot about your family." I rolled my eyes. Why was it that everyone around here seemed to find it some sort of miracle that I hadn't abandoned or neglected the six balls of energy that were my flesh and blood?

"No, you don't say?" I stated sarcastically, and Lavi laughed. He lay back against his pack, and he crossed his arms behind his head.

"Honestly, though, you... you and your family fascinate me. I've never had a family, so I don't understand how you keep together so well. I've seen so many of them torn apart over the littlest of things," Lavi stated, looking at the ceiling of my two-person tent, and I drew my knees to my chest, looking away. Families weren't perfect. A lot of them were dysfunctional. Mine, despite the stability we seemed to have, was still incredibly off-balance, and it was only Lily's calming and vague influence that kept us from truly falling apart and ripping each other to pieces.

Unfortunately, Lily's influence didn't always extend to everyone.

The both of us talked for a good portion of the night, and I felt myself slowly relax. Finally, Lavi asked, "Eh, Mag...do you mind if I sleep in your tent?" I blinked in surprise.

"Uh... why?" I asked, suddenly skeptical. Lavi didn't look like his usual, lecherous self, though. He seemed almost pensive as he stated, "I think there may be something wrong with me, up here. Kanda might be right - I've been hiking too far up too fast. I know you're used to taking care of people..."

He could say that again. I was _everybody's _mother. I could hear a kid cough through three doors, a hallway, and several walls. I had super hearing by this point.

"Alright. I'll wake you up. Was there anything in particular you wanted me to watch for?" I asked, scootching to the very end of my tent, the farthest I could get from him. Even though I'd gotten used to sleeping next to someone, I was about to get cozy again. I tended to roll around in my sleep, too.

"Um, like, if I stop breathing? I'd like to know when my lungs quit," Lavi stated, and I smiled at his deadpan response. That wouldn't be a problem. I was going to be up for a while.

* * *

**A/N:** I've decided that every fifth chapter or so I'm going to put discussion and recognition on each, seeing as I'm a lazy bum (and not as many people read this story, so it seems a bit pointless to put it on each one). However, I do very much enjoy reviews and subscriptions! Please, please, please, review, subscribe, and favorite.

God bless, and happy reading!


	12. A Summit Showdown

The top of the mountain gleamed bright. We had hiked for nearly the entire day, edging closer and closer to the shining beacon. Near the middle of the day, the storm had finally ceased, much to our surprise, and I no longer felt like I was seeing perpetual static. I took a deep breath, suddenly going into a fit of coughing. The air was so bright and cold that I couldn't hardly keep my throat wet. No matter how much water I drank, it seemed like I was forever breathing in a desert.

It didn't seem we were that much farther, though. The snow gleamed white under the moon, and I stopped to marvel at just how smooth it looked. The beacon threw light off of it, and I sighed in amazement. My breath pooled into a white cloud of mist in front of my face. Ahead of me, I could see two other figures, Kanda and Lavi, making their way up the mountainside. I was lagging behind (like always), but I was managing to keep up.

It suddenly occurred to me that I was actually going to make it. I would have climbed one of the tallest mountains in the world and survived. As I thought about it, I suddenly smiled, feeling a bright spark of accomplishment.

Heh, maybe I wasn't such a wimp after all! Sure, I managed to nearly kill myself five different times, but I was pretty darn lucky.

"Come on, Mag! We're almost there! Don't lag on us, now!" Lavi shouted back. His words blurred together, and I narrowed my eyes. He'd gotten better after a good night's sleep, but he was slowly getting more and more irritable and stubborn. He'd refused to put on a second coat after I'd told him to. Even Kanda wasn't risking his fingers and toes. He was wearing two pairs of gloves and an extra pair of socks.

"Yeah, yeah, don't get your boxers in a twist, I'm comin'! Sheesh, a girl can't even stop to smell the roses," I grumbled, hiking faster. It was a steep slope, but for the most part it was flat. For that matter, I had walked backwards a good part of the way just so I didn't have to worry about things sneaking up on me. I was _sick _and _tired _of being chased and surprised by Boogie monsters. I glanced over my shoulder just in case, and I was relieved to see nothing trailing me. Suddenly, I heard a commotion ahead, and I stared as something massive rose out from the snow.

"OH, COME ON!" I shouted, stamping my foot as an Akuma the size of an elephant spread out large, furry arms and grinned at Kanda. My teacher didn't seem so concerned. If anything, he was just plain out angry. I wasn't surprised - I was angry, too. Not only was I sick and tired of being jumped by Akuma, I was sick and tired of _fighting _them as well as Mother Nature.

The fighting started before I could even get there. Within five minutes, Kanda was beating it down the mountainside towards me, and at one point I had to dodge being stepped on. He didn't even bother with instructions; he just shoved me up towards the beacon. I didn't need to be told twice. I don't mind letting him do all the heavy lifting.

"Mag, hurry it up! We need to get to the summit! They must've been waiting for us!" Lavi shouted irately, and I felt my eye lid twitch. This trip was going to drive me insane. I was already short of breath as it was, and Lavi had to half-haul, half-lope up the rest of the way with me. The beacon was within sight now, and another two Akuma were prowling along the slope. I groaned under the handkerchief I'd placed over my mouth, and the both of us stood there, deliberating.

"I'll go for the one on the right, and you go for the one on the left," I suggested, panting. Those two didn't look so tough. They were, what, the size of horses? I mean, yeah, they had claws and... and teeth and... guns... poison... other sharp nasty things... I suck at giving myself pep talks.

Suddenly, as if to make it as dramatic as possible, about forty Level Ones shot out from behind the mountain, blotting out the moon with their numbers. I stumbled backwards as I muttered under my breath, "Mother Mary on fry bread." They hovered, guns cocked in our direction, and I wondered why they hadn't taken the Innocence yet...

"Mag, do you see that massive ring around the Innocence?" Lavi whispered to me, flicking a single eye in the direction of our target. I nodded, never taking my eyes off of the Akuma.

"Uh-huh?" I squeaked.

"There must be a shield around it that's keeping the Akuma out. And we need to get _in. _If you can dodge everything they throw at you, you just get inside of that ring, and you should be fine," Lavi stated, and I realized what he was telling me. I stared at him with a sassy look, and I asked, "Are you telling me to chicken out? Oh my gosh!" Lavi threw up his hands, and in that moment the Akuma decided to finally fire while we were distracted.

The snow was suddenly pocked with hissing holes as bullets ate through the mountain. I screamed as I covered my head and tried to run. My pack was pelted with bullets, and I cursed the fact that all my good furs were in this bag. Now I'd have to burn them! I spent a good hundred bucks on those! I swung my whip out, hoping to deflect some of it, and, to my surprise, it actually worked.

Well, it worked until I got my legs tangled in it, and then it stopped working because I tripped and landed on my face. I was suddenly launched to my feet, and I stumbled forwards, untangling as I went. My eyes were fixated on the beacon that was practically blinding me, throwing the Akuma into confusing reliefs of black and white. I couldn't hardly tell what was going on. All I knew was that I couldn't breathe, my legs weren't working fast enough for my liking, and I was about to be killed.

I realized I was at the top of the mountain when there was nowhere left to run. I scrambled back as rocks fell down the side of the mountain, and I looked above me. The beacon shone so bright I had to shield my eyes. A smile spread on my face as I jumped high in the air with a whoop, but I was quickly brought back to earth by a shouted, "MAGGIE!" I jerked out of my little personal cheer as Lavi scrambled to the side away from an Akuma. Dead Level Ones littered the ground around him, some of them dented in several places from, no doubt, his Hammer.

"Oh. Right," I muttered as I reached for the beacon. Its light stuttered for a moment before flashing so bright that I was brought to the ground. I was ejected from the ring of safety I'd just occupied, and I blinked away the spots in front of my eyes.

"EXORCIST! NOT SO SAFE NOW, HUH?" I quickly reoriented myself, casting out my whip as fast as I could manage with a surprised yell. The razor-thin wire cut straight into the face of the clawed, disjointed Akuma headed towards me, and it snarled as it circled around me. Something backed up into me, and I screamed in surprise.

"Calm... calmdown. 'Sjust... just me'verhere," Lavi panted, blood dripping over one eye as I retaliated to another lunge. I was already slow as it was from previous wounds, and my luck was running out. It was a miracle I'd managed to get close to the Innocence in the first place. Touching it must've activated some defense mechanism.

For the next twenty minutes, we slowly worked our way back towards the Innocence crystal, slashing, hacking, denting, and swatting away at the opposition. I was completely covered in blood by the time we'd gotten within ten feet.

"It's gotta hava... another field around it!" Lavi stated, his form quickly growing sloppier and sloppier. Now I _knew _he wasn't 'just fine'. He needed to sit and take a breather, but in the middle of battle we had no choice but to keep going. It was fight or die. I felt myself begin to shake as fear set in, staring at the amount of Akuma that were beginning to advance again. It was like every one we cut down, four took their place. My whip gleamed dully underneath its sheen of blood, and I lashed out again with a cry, desperate for some breathing room. Akuma bullets drilled into the snow, and I screamed as one of them went through the tip of my shoe, just barely missing my toe.

"We need to run!" I shouted, fear making my voice crack.

"Run _WHERE?_" Lavi shouted back, pointing to the edge of the mountain. We were against a rock and a hard place, almost literally. The Innocence shield wasn't allowing us any further, and I stared, knowing I wasn't going to be able to go much longer.

"There's got to be some way to retrieve that thing," I muttered, glancing at the Innocence shard. Lavi bit his lip, and he stated, "I've got an idea. I need some room. Can you give me that?" I gave a shaky grin. Room... yeah, I could do room. I slowly inched out away from him, feeling like a child letting go of a security blanket. I had no defensive strategy whatsoever. I'd been using Lavi's massive hammer as cover. I was running out of places to hide.

I cast my whip forward again, using my hip to lead. Several Level Ones went down, and they started firing on me again. I scattered snow into the air, making it harder to see, as Lavi cast a summons for his Seals. My arms shook from exhaustion as I tried to beat back the horde that wouldn't seem to fall back. I was going to be turned into Swiss cheese at this rate. Heck, Swiss cheese would have less holes than I would when they were finished with me.

"Lavi, now would be a good time to start with your plan!" I shouted as a Level Two suddenly pounced for me. I screamed as it tore into my left arm, throwing me down. I fell down the mountainside, trying to get away from it, and I had half a mind to keep rolling until I became a giant snowball. I got to my feet and began to run, skidding on the rocks. Kanda was still fighting the massive Level 2.5, and I groaned. I wasn't getting any help with this.

"Come on, Exorcist. Give me a good fight. HAH!" I screamed as it launched out a long stinger from its tail, and I felt something rip into my calf. My whip curled around the tail, and I pulled backwards, dragging it down. It snarled as it suddenly became a whirlwind of fur and claws. Level Ones were too dumb to help, thankfully, because they were continuing to shoot at Lavi. I wrestled with the Level Two, feeling my injured leg slowly grow numb.

And then, out of nowhere, a massive pillar of fire erupted from the top of the mountain. I threw off the Akuma and lay in the snow, so tired I didn't think I could pick myself back up. I felt like a cosmic rag doll. The Akuma was trapped between two rocks as it was, and I finally managed to get to my feet upon hearing gunfire.

Bullets are a _great _motivator.

Kanda suddenly flew past me, and he snagged me on the fly. I was dragged up the mountain, my feet hardly managing to keep up with the speed at which he was dragging me, and I was afraid I'd end up with pretzels for legs. My injured calf wasn't helping matters, either. I watched as the Level Ones were turned to ash, and several of the Level Twos that had come to help fled down the mountains, several of them unlucky enough to get caught in the pillar of flame.

"How close is the idiot to getting the shard?" he asked, and I gave him my most deadpanned look.

"What does it look like?" I gasped, throwing a hand in Lavi's direction. The pillar of fire was now a snake eating up the mountainside, and I realized he was trying to _melt _the field.

"He's going to kill himself," I muttered in horror.

"Forget him, he's going to kill _us!"_ Kanda growled, and he suddenly dragged me back the other way.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING? HE'LL DIE!" I shouted, watching as the snake consumed everything in its path as it closed tighter and tighter. The heat was radiating off of it so much that the rocks almost seemed to boil. Each coil added another layer of width, coming closer and closer.

"What for, so he can martyr the rest of us along with himself? If he's got a deathwish, that's his problem, not mine. Let him die," Kanda stated callously, and I suddenly let go of his hand. I tumbled as my feet caught up with the rest of me, and Kanda looked back at me.

"What are you _doing?_" he yelled, and I stood up, suddenly incensed. I shook as I realized what I was planning.

Basically, my death.

_"I can't die yet. I still have six kids to raise."_

"That is practically the best friend you've got right now, and you're just going to _abandon him?" _I asked. Kanda just stood there, and for the first time since I'd known him he looked uncertain. He was breathing hard, and he stated, "I trust him enough not to kill himself." I threw my hands in the air, frustrated.

"He's not in his right mind! Didn't you even notice? He's practically dead on his feet!" I shouted, coming close to tears. I didn't have time for this! The reality that Lavi could very well kill himself was beginning to dawn on me like a train full of pennies smashing into a bunny rabbit. Kanda and I stared at each other for a few moments, and his lips in a firm line. I bit my lip, knowing I was about to do something stupid.

"You told me to never give up. Well, guess what; I'm not going to give up. Not on anybody," I said. His eyes widened a fraction as it dawned on him what I was about to do, and I think I even surprised myself.

I went back.

The heat coming off the inferno was so intense that I could feel my skin turn from ice cold marble to chewy, brown leather. I rolled in the snow, amazed that there was only water and rocks, and covered my face with my handkerchief and my arms as I neared the main body. I took a deep breath, and I plunged in as I felt a hand brush my coat. I could feel the snake burning my clothes, decimating it and turning it to ash as I continued to run, feeling gaps where the coils stopped and started.

Suddenly, everything was too hot, and I couldn't continue. It was as if every single bit of flesh was being cooked. I stumbled and tripped, realizing I was burning to death.

Well, it wasn't the first time that I'd done something stupid to try and help another person. Suddenly, something picked me up, and I was momentarily shielded from the fire.

"Keep moving," a voice rasped in my ear, and I obeyed. Another fifteen steps and then -

Air. Pure, clean air filled my lungs, and I realized that we had reached the center. I yelled in surprise as I batted away flames from my jacket and pants before turning my attention to the object of my dumb, stupid charity. Lavi stood in the middle, staring at the Innocence shard above him, and it took me a moment to realize he had no idea what he was doing.

"Lavi! Reach for the shard!" I shouted, stumbling as I coughed, waving smoke out of my face. Lavi looked at me in confusion, not realizing that his own spell was about to kill everything, and I do mean _everything, _on the mountain.

"THE SHARD, YOU IDIOT!" Kanda shouted next to me, his voice scratched by smoke and heat, and I was momentarily surprised. He'd followed me? Lavi seemed to jolt out of his reverie, and he touched the shard, the force field probably already completely destroyed by the immense heat and pressure of Lavi's attack.

But even though he grabbed the shard, the snake continued to coil. It was raging hot, and I felt like someone had stuck me in an oven. I soon realized I had several deep burns along my hands and knees as they met open air, and I ran towards Lavi, standing on the summit. Kanda followed suit, probably more out of a need to stay away from the massive hell waiting behind rather than any need to watch me.

"Lavi! Stop!" I screamed, my voice minuscule against the roar of the flames. He looked straight through me, holding the shard.

"They're everywhere. They're still everywhere. I have to get rid of them or else it won't be safe. I have to protect all of our knowledge. I can't stop until they're gone," Lavi said calmly, looking out to the sky. Above us the night sky was serene, a dissonant sight compared to the _imminent death _waiting if we didn't get him to quit.

"Lavi, they _are _gone. Whatever you're seeing... they're not there," I reasoned, waving a hand out. I shrieked as the tip was eaten by flame, and I realized that I was running out of room. Pretty soon, there'd be nowhere to go. Kanda suddenly walked up to Lavi and slapped him as hard as he could. Lavi stumbled, and I yanked him backwards away from the edge of the summit. That seemed to bring him back as he muttered, "Kanda?"

"Tch." I took the opportunity to grab Lavi and plead, "Stop this! YOU'RE GOING TO FRY US LIKE CHICKEN AT A BAPTIST DINNER!" I could feel my hair crisp already. That is one smell that I would rather not revisit.

Lavi shook under my fingers, and he suddenly exhaled softly.

And just like that, the flames dissipated. I was shocked by the sudden cold, and I wrapped my arms around myself. I looked back out across the mountain. Most of the snow had melted leaving just the bare, glowing rock. We weren't going back down any time soon. Kanda suddenly grunted, and I looked back to see him holding Lavi up.

"Uh-oh," I stated, probably unnecessarily. "Altitude sickness?" Kanda nodded. He hoisted him on his back in a fireman's carry. He immediately started to run down the mountain, and I raced to catch up, feeling the rubber in my boots immediately turn to goo the minute I touched rock.

"Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow," I muttered as I felt the heat seeping straight into my feet, burning my toes. The burns on my fingers and knees were no better, and I hissed with each step. Sheesh, it was like walking on top of a grill!

"Here," Kanda said as soon as we reached the snow layer, handing Lavi back over to me. I struggled to put him on my back, though going downhill was definitely more preferable to uphill. Kanda put the Innocence shard in his jacket pocket, almost carelessly, and I shook under the strain of carrying Lavi.

"Maggie? Can I call you that?" Lavi asked, and I turned my head towards him.

"Yeah. Uh-huh?" I asked. His breathing was ragged and shallow, definitely not a good sign. He was in bad shape. He'd been complaining of a headache yesterday, too, and he hadn't eaten anything.

"Where am I?" he asked, sounding truly confused, and I groaned. If he was asking that, he really was in for trouble. I shivered, realizing there were holes in my jacket. Kanda himself had patches burned through, and I bit my lip. I didn't understand why he'd decided to come after me. Maybe he just didn't want the mountain of paperwork that came with my death, not to mention Lavi's.

Still, Kanda kept glancing back every now and again to make sure we were still in sight. Perhaps he felt more than he let on. I grunted, "On a mountain. You were injured." Lavi nodded, and he tried to get off of my back.

"I can... walk," Lavi stated, but his legs obviously didn't agree because he fell over into the snow. I hauled him back up, swinging an arm over my shoulder. I ignored my gut instinct, knowing that seeing as Lavi was male, those bad vibes didn't count.

"Okay, hold up, bucko, let's get your land legs back first," I murmured, knowing he would probably be difficult if I tried to get him back on Kanda's back or on mine (and to be honest, he was heavy). Suddenly, I was aware of a shift in my hearing. There was... another set of footsteps, not just one of ours.

And, just like I knew when Violet was coughing or Sebastian was having a bad dream, I knew that something was sneaking up on me, and it was going to kill me if I didn't move. It wasn't a hunter or warrior's instinct - it was more like a mother's self-preservation for her and her young. By extension, Lavi had saved my life by fulfilling the 'young' role, but I wasn't going to think on that too hard, because if I did I might squick myself out.

I threw us to the side as soon as the Akuma I'd failed to kill earlier launched itself at us. Kanda was already there, two steps ahead of the game, with Insects swarming the thing as I tried to unravel my whip with my left hand. However, it seemed to be having a conference among its fingers because I couldn't get them to work together at all.

"Oh, for the love of..." I muttered as Lavi used his hammer as a shield while I was still trying to ready my weapon.

"Hehehehe, Exorcists, I didn't get to show you my grand power... I wish I'd have used it earlier," the Akuma snarled with a grin on its toothy face. It looked like a massive toad with a work out regimen and claws. Kanda didn't waste time with words, merely slicing and dicing at the Akuma as it batted away his Hell Insects. I unfurled my whip, and I snapped the air over its head.

"Well, shoulda, woulda, coulda, isn't that right?" I asked, and Lavi chuckled like he had knives in his throat. The Akuma suddenly let out a blast of noise so loud that I dropped to the ground. Even Kanda bent to one knee, a hand over his ear. I felt blood leak out as I crawled away from the stream of unrelenting noise, towing Lavi along.

The noise abruptly stopped, and Kanda stood with his sword poised on a dead body. He kicked the body to make sure it was good and dead before giving a sharp, "Hmph." He stowed his sword, and I lay back in the snow with exhaustion. That was it. I wasn't taking another step. I was going to lay here and fall asleep, whatever happened, and nothing was going to move -

KKKKKKKKRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSHHHH.

I raised my head up with a look of disbelief as I saw a massive cloud of snow begin to race down the mountain. Nothing like a wall of snowy death to get you moving.

"HOLY-" My words were drowned out by the roar of snow, and I threw myself into action despite my body's very loud protests, dragging Lavi to his feet.

"Haha, look at that. Surf's up," Lavi laughed, pointing back to the avalanche like it was a wave in the surf pool.

"Less talking MORE RUNNING!" I shouted, dragging him as Kanda climbed a tall outcropping. I shoved Lavi ahead of me, letting Kanda grab a hold of him and drag him up.

"Come on come on come on come on," I muttered as I climbed up behind him. Suddenly something dropped past me, and I breathed, "Can't catch a break." The Innocence shard gleamed at the bottom, and I glared at Kanda. He didn't even bother to offer a 'tch'.

"Just put it in your pocket, why don'tcha? Totally safe!" I shouted as he leaped down the rocks like a goat after a piece of tin, and I suddenly realized with a spurt of adrenaline that he wasn't going to make it.

"He's not going to make it," Lavi fretted, and I rolled my eyes. Great minds think alike. I unraveled my whip as Kanda neared the bottom, and by now the massive run of snow was thirty seconds away from burying him. I knew he could climb faster than that! Why was he slipping? What wrong with him! Why was he taking his sweet time? I was dangling the darn whip right in front of his face for Pete's sake! Why wasn't he taking it?

"Grab the whip!" I shouted, slinging it in front of him. He looked up, and deliberated the wire. Just then I realized what might be going on in his head. Lavi had said he was going to die, and knowing him he wanted to go out in a blaze of glory. I was about to shout something about the preciousness of life and how he shouldn't throw his life away as well as whatever other cheesy, anti-suicidal lines I could thing of when just as the wall of snow barreled over him, he grabbed the end. Unexpectedly, my arm bones were ejected rather rudely from my shoulder sockets, and I shouted in pain as I was dragged off the rock spur. Two arms grabbed my boots as I was hauled away by the force of the snow and the one-hundred and forty pound man on the end of my whip.

Lavi started to drag me backwards, and Kanda hung on with enough tenacity to give a bulldog a run for its money. Maybe Kanda was part bulldog for all I knew. My arms ached like crazy, and my torn shoulder screamed as I grunted in an effort to reel my mentor back towards us. The avalanche finally abated, and everything was eerily still. I realized that I was hanging straight down off the rock spur with only Lavi's hands clamped around my ankles to hold me up.

Needless to say, I wanted to throw up and hide under a rock for the next decade.

Kanda was in no better shape. He climbed hand over hand towards me as Lavi tried to haul my fat butt over the spur, and we all flopped down like we'd averted a major disaster. Which, of course, was exactly what we just did.

"Let's... never do that again," Lavi breathed, his words still slurred. I nodded, panting.

"Tch," Kanda panted. I lifted my head up a little to look at him, and I patted his shoulder.

"See? I promised you that I wouldn't let you die," I croaked. He put a hand over his eyes, and he said, "I wouldn't have died, idiot. I'd just be buried."

"I don't know about you, but I classify buried as dead."

* * *

"Man. I didn't get to see a single Yeti," Lavi bemoaned. He'd recovered quickly from his head trauma and altitude sickness_. _A little too quickly, if you asked me, considering he was all _over _me on our second day at the Nepalese hotel we were staying at.

"Lavi, I honestly don't want to see a Yeti. Yetis don't sound friendly," I said, watching Lavi pout. I spooned some more porridge in my mouth, wincing as my fingers stung. The burns hadn't healed yet, and I was still working out all my other health issues. Kanda had had a sharp remark about my penchant for getting hurt, and for once I'd actually thrown something at him.

Only for him to throw it right back and nail me in the eye.

I looked around our hotel, trying to ignore the fact that I was achey all over. It was a nice, humble little place. I shared a room with Kanda and Lavi was with Bookman, as always. There were only five rooms available, and, just our luck, three were occupied. I sighed more with resignation than anything else. I knew having my own room was for so long was too good to be true.

Suddenly my stomach seized up into a massive knot. No brownie points for guessing who was behind me.

"Good morning, Kanda," I groaned into my bowl, trying to shrink. Despite the fact I'd gotten closer to him than I'd ever thought was manageable (at least, without having a sword stuck in me), he kind of disregarded everything that had happened in the past two weeks and had gone straight back to being the grumpy, belligerent, cold man he usually is.

"Tch." He sat down next to me and tried to grab a bowl of food from across me. My eye twitched, and my Mommy instinct took over. I slapped his hand, and, I guess in surprise, he jerked it back with a perplexed look.

"Ask someone to pass it to you. Don't just reach for it. What are you, a heathen?" The words came out of my mouth completely unfiltered. The minute they left my mouth I felt my brain completely quit working. Did... I just say that? Did _I _just say that? Nevertheless, I continued to stare him down, and he more than returned the favor. Finally, he gritted his teeth and muttered, "Pass the porridge."

"Pass the porridge, _what?" _It looked almost physically painful for him to say the next sentence.

"Pass the porridge, _please._" Lavi watched the entire exchange like his eyes were glued to the most interesting tennis match he'd ever seen in his life. He whistled low across from me and stated with an impish smile, "Sheesh, Mag, are you trying to domesticate him or something? I've never seen him - OWOWOWOW!" Kanda twisted Lavi's nose, and I rolled my eyes. I wasn't _that _much a believer in miracles to try and get between them.

Boys will be boys will be boys...

"Meet me in the courtyard after breakfast," Kanda stated, throwing down his bowl when he was finished. I nearly spit in my porridge. Crap, today was Torture Tuesday. I thought about my assortment of aches and pains and actually _considered _skipping out. I was in so much agony as of right now. Painkillers had managed to stave off the worst of the discomfort, but I felt like one of Ava's poor toys when she'd been teething. After Kanda had left, Lavi rubbed his nose, and he whispered, "You don't have to go if you don't want to. I can cover for you if you need me to." My eyes widened.

"Do I look that terrible?" I asked. I'd had to go and get a hair cut because it'd been burned so bad. I hadn't even had it fixed after the last debacle on Phuket. It had looked especially unruly after this particular journey.

"Yes," Bookman said as he passed by Lavi. "And he'll know if you skip." I stared after the old man as he sat down next to Lavi.

"Good morning, Idiot Apprentice."

"Mornin', Gramps."

"Will he really know if I skip?" I asked with a groan, practically collapsing across the table. Bookman raised a non-existent eyebrow, the only sort of expression I ever saw on his face. He scooped some porridge into his bowl out of the big pot on the table, and he stated, "Yes, he will. Lavi is a good liar, but Kanda knows you too well now. I heard that you two got very... comfortable with each other over the past two weeks." My face reddened.

"The only thing that happened was his sleeping bag got wet!" I protested in a whisper-hiss. Bookman shook his head, and he continued to eat as Lavi snickered into his own food. I played with mine, trying to beat off the inevitable. I really didn't feel like eating dirt right now. More than anything, I wanted to take another long, hot soak in the tub upstairs, but seeing as I shared a room with somebody else I wasn't exactly allowed to. I wasn't about to risk being walked in on. Heaven knew that my family had already been scarred one too many times. Kanda wasn't the type to knock, either.

"You're going to have to face him one way or another. Either you voluntarily get beat into the dirt with some dignity, or you run away, he drags you back, and you get beat into the dirt without your dignity," Bookman stated rather succinctly, and I finally pushed back my chair with a squeak, trudging out to my imminent pain.

The courtyard was fairly large, and the blue, Nepal sky shone down, belying the utter agony I was going to be in. Kanda was already practicing moves with his sword, and I lingered by a pillar holding up the overhang, stalling for time. As I watched him practice with Mugen, though, I couldn't help but notice the craftsmanship and work that went into sword wielding. No one could deny that Kanda was very, very good at what he did. He made it seem almost easy. My weapon work tended to look like a seizure patient got a hold of some wire and went crazy with it.

"Are you just going to stare at me practice, or are we actually going to get something done today?" Kanda suddenly said, his back to me. I almost fell over. How did he -? Never mind, I didn't want to know. I tried to hide my embarrassment by tucking my face down, my hair obscuring my face. I undid the whip from the holster Bookman had made me. I was about to throw it aside, knowing he'd want to do hand to hand, when he suddenly said, "Keep it. Show me how you use it."

I looked up, surprised.

"How... I use it?" I asked, confused. He stood off, arms crossed over his chest, giving me a dark glare. I put up my hands in an 'okay, whatever you want, bud' gesture, and I took my usual stance. I had one leg forward, the other just behind, turned myself sideways, and I cast it out in front of me, cracking it. I hissed as the whip sliced my arm on its way out. Kanda gave a 'tch', and I rubbed my arm with a dark glare at the ground.

"Whose decision was it to give you a metal whip?" Kanda asked, and I bit my lip.

"I did it on the suggestion of my sister. Violet always has funny ideas," I stated, scratching the back of my head, acutely aware of how my face was quickly emulating a tomato. Kanda took the whip from my hands, and he said, "We're getting you a different weapon when we get back." I blinked.

"Wait, what?" I asked. He held up the whip, and he stated, "Whips are terrible weapons. They're made to inflict pain - not damage. Not to mention it's too unruly for you to use with any precision. We'll have it reforged into something that's more useful."

"Uh... thanks?" I said, for lack of anything better to spit out. He put the whip down on a chair, and he stated, "Take your hand to hand stance, now." I internally groaned, and I settled myself into that uncomfortable position. I waited for first blow or criticism, my muscles tensed in anticipation. Suddenly, Kanda walked around behind me, not even bothering with a stance. I almost stepped out of mine, just out of sheer surprise. This wasn't our routine. He didn't just walk around and _look _at me.

"Any minute now..." I muttered under my breath, rolling my eyes.

"We're getting you a different stance. Besides, I don't think I want to work on that today. We're going to start on dodging," he suddenly stated, and I flopped in disbelief. What the heck?

"Are you... sick... today?" I asked lamely. I stared at him, my mouth almost falling open. His facial expression didn't change, other than a quirked eyebrow.

"No," he answered tersely. He motioned for me to just stand there. I pressed my lips together, and I decided to just go with it.

There wasn't exactly anything else I could do. After about thirty minutes of him teaching me how to fall over without hurting myself, as well as dodging, I finally asked, "What's with the sudden change? What happened to 'smash Mag into small pieces'?" I sidestepped a fairly slow(er) punch, already dripping sweat. Kanda looked like he was taking a stroll on the beach in comparison.

"We could go back to that," he stated, and I laughed nervously.

"Let's not. This is, uh, fine." I definitely noticed that there was a distinctly different tone to my lessons, something a little more conducive to teaching me how to keep myself alive. I was glad to say I wasn't half-bad at what I was currently doing.

BAM!

And then I walked right into a kidney shot.

"Tch. Retard." I lay on the ground in a daze, watching Kanda walk away. I couldn't say I was half-good at what I did either, though. I still had quite a bit of work cut out for me.


	13. A Vacation That's Not Really A Vacation

_Heavy breathing..._

_Worthless..._

_Hands grabbing skin..._

_Disgust..._

_Pain, remembered agony..._

_Fear..._

_Mouth at my ear..._

_"Little girl, you sure do care about your family."_

My eyes opened slowly, and I sat up in my bed. It took me another few minutes to realize that my hands were shaking, and a sob began to build in my throat. I looked around, reorienting myself. I'd been placed in my own room, and moonlight filtered through the single window into the sparse furnishings of my new dorm. I picked up a glass of water, and my heart raced inside of my rib cage like a terrified, trapped bird. All my usual humor was gone - I was assailed by a sudden drop into animal terror. I already had adrenaline racing through my system as the nightmare took full effect.

I had to get out of here. I couldn't just sit. To stay here and do nothing was to sink even deeper into despair. I'd won my optimism the hard way, and I was determined to keep it.

I climbed out of bed, my feet touching a cold stone floor. Shakily, I walked out the door, looking down the corridor. My sister Violet was back from her mission in America, and her door was shut fast. The twins were in their own rooms, as well, having opted to room separately, much to my surprise. I thought I'd have to surgically remove them from each other when I'd told them. Kanda, Lavi, and Bookman's rooms were on the floor above me. Allen and Lenalee were on the floor below. For some reason, knowing where everyone was supposed to be gave me a little comfort. My footsteps were quiet, and I found myself walking past the training room as if my feet had a better idea of my intentions than I did.

Memories assailed me as I stared at the ornate, wooden doors. Since our last mission almost a month ago, Kanda, Lavi, and I had logged countless hours beyond these doors as they taught me the tricks of the trade (or at least tried to). Just thinking about it had me aching, but that sort of aching was better than the... other sort that was abruptly invading my trip down Memory Lane. I shivered as I pushed against the doors, pushing the thoughts out of mind in much the same fashion. The nightmare had had a lot more to it than just senseless fear.

For all intents and purposes, it hadn't been a memory. It was a true dream with all its nonsensical elements. A gruesome clown had been present, along with several self-playing drums, and a bed of candy roses. There was an elephant that had trampled a paper house, and a man wearing a papier mache mask had asked me questions that I couldn't remember. The nightmare really started when the clown and the man with the mask had suddenly started to back me into the bed of roses, shoving me into them. Even so, nothing had correlated, and yet it still managed to nearly bring me to my knees with terror. I tried to ward it off, shrugging my shoulders as I looked around the training room.

There were mirrors along the walls in the two-storey-tall facility. Racks of weaponry lined the walls where mirrors weren't present, and there were plenty of targets to choose from throughout the football-field-long room. The floor here was cold, and mats littered different portions of the floor. I recognized mine from just how many puncture marks there were. I'd spent nearly three days learning how to fall away from a blade. Mugen had been helpful, instilling a sufficient amount of fear so practice felt a little more real. Kanda's stony expression definitely helped in that regard.

I looked around, peering into the other, smaller rooms that branched off the main hall, wondering if there was anyone around. I took a shuddering breath. Part of it was to make sure I didn't embarrass myself. The other part was paranoia. I really,_ really _didn't want anyone sneaking up on me. As I was right now, I might grab the nearest weapon and try to hack off their head like a maniac.

_You are not a victim._

I picked a target, trying to reach for that emotional part of me that would allow me the best focus. Lavi had taught me that there were certain emotions I could control and magnify in order to stay alive in a particularly heavy fight, as well as prep myself before a skirmish. There were stages to my emotions, from a dose of resolve straight to controlled panic. Lavi had told me that controlled panic was probably the strongest and most useful, but it was also the easiest to lose a grip on.

"I see that more often than not on you, and it looks like you've already mastered it. Still, better safe than sorry, ne?" I still wasn't sure whether that was a compliment or an insult.

I stared at my reflection in the wall next to me, eyeing the wavy frizz of brown hair piled on my head. My eyes were still puffy from just waking up, and I noticed that my freckles stood out more than ever from being out in the sun so much. I still looked pitifully skinny. I didn't even have the luck to get some sort of inherited muscle. My hips weren't exceptionally wide, and I wasn't well-endowed, either. I had the body of a ten-year-old geek. It was amazing that I'd managed to make any money off this poor shell of a thing at one time.

And, out of nowhere, the panic came back as I thought on the other circumstances of my dream. I rubbed my face and turned away from the reflection, very suddenly disgusted.

_You are not a victim._

I shook my hands out, reciting my mantra in my head. It was true. I wasn't a victim. Victim meant that something unspeakable had happened and there was nothing that could've been done for it, that it was an event that had happened without provocation. It also meant that it was alright for others to feel pity or sympathy for the one victimized. None of those things applied to me. Therefore, I wasn't a victim. I just had to keep those things in mind.

I rubbed the metal bands around my wrists, bidding them to take on their invoked form. Two large, dinner-platter sized rings took their place, each with a strand of bright blue light embedded on the edge. There was a hand grip on each one, designed to help me catch them when they were thrown, but I could honestly say that I was too chicken to attempt something like that. When I threw them, they buzzed like saws and cut through most anything they hit besides stone and wood. I'd managed to stick one of them in a pillar about twenty yards above the ground, and Lavi had had to climb up and get it with quite a bit of help from most of the Science Department. Embarrassment didn't even cover my feelings on the matter.

Still, the best I could do was try and practice aim. Kanda had told me that my whipping stance had been... well...

"Tch."

That pretty much summed it up. However, he did suggest the discus idea. He'd said my stance was better suited for someone who was going to chuck a piece of round metal. I was apparently good at bracing myself for hits, and that gave me a good foundation. Now I just had to learn not to fear my weapon. Two weeks later he still couldn't get me to try and catch them on a rebound. Don't even get me started on the ricochets.

I weighed them each in hand. Both were fairly light, but not light enough that I had trouble controlling them. I was still terrified of slicing my hand open every time I chucked them. I stared at my target, zeroing in. Another tip Lavi had given me: focus on the target and be aware of everything. Take deep breaths. Only throw when ready. That was easier said than done. I was still antsy about working with my new weapons. It took me months to get used to my whip, and I injured myself on a daily basis with that thing. I cocked my arm back, curling my arm around the metal ring, able to feel the blade nestled flush to the edge of the disc. I readied myself and -

The door opened with a creak, and I nearly peed myself. I dropped my disc and danced backwards away from the door, holding up my remaining disc in front of me like a shield, despite the big hole in the middle of the ring. I peeked over the metal edge to see Kanda staring at me, distinctly not amused.

"What are you doing here?" I asked shakily, catching my breath. I'm glad I didn't scream. I could at least keep some semblance of dignity.

"Tch," was the only answer I got as he walked off into one of the side rooms, clad in loose pants and a sleeveless shirt. Apparently I wasn't the only one who couldn't sleep... I let go of a breath I hadn't realized I was holding when I heard the familiar _swish _of a blade through air. I settled back into my discus throwing stance, and I wound up like a spring, aware of just how tense I was. Another thing Lavi had tried to teach me: relax. He was definitely better at instructing me on that than Kanda. His idea of getting me to relax was repeatedly smacking me with a sword sheath until I stopped tensing up.

I let go of all muscles, feeling them loosen. I took a deep breath, and I let loose the disc. It spiraled away, going almost a foot above the target. I let my shoulders slump in frustration as I let out a spluttering breath. I'd managed to hit it yesterday! Suddenly, I was aware that my disc was coming back, and I ducked. It hit the ground, bounced, and flipped over before stopping. They always came back to me, but that didn't mean I wanted them to.

I repeated the process nearly sixteen times, and every time, it seemed like I was getting progressively worse. With every throw, all I could do was picture the target as someone I knew, someone I either hated or had hated, someone I'd been betrayed by, someone who'd -

_"Little girl, you sure do care about your family." _

I abandoned trying to chuck my weapon, and I went straight to hacking away at the wooden target, feeling rage and frustration boil over as panic began to flood me again, the nightmare getting to me. I _couldn't_ let it get to me, though. I wasn't a victim. I wasn't about to _become _a victim.

_"Should I ask how old you are?"_

_"What do you think?" _

It had been a stupid idea to even consider coming to the training room. I couldn't get anything done here. Even as I tried to get a grip on the discs in my hand, I could feel myself lose my grip on my frustration, and I found myself messily trying to slash away at the dummy, hardly making a rent in the wood surface because my arm strength was so weak.

_"What else can you do?"_

_"Uh... well... I..."_

I backed away from the target, feigning a dodge, and I tried to throw the discs, one chipping the wood and the other one flying far too wide.

_"I'll pay this much..."_

_"No... No, I... I won't... I mean, I don't..."_

I picked up both weapons, panting as I glared at the target. I wouldn't let myself dwell on it. All I had to do was just hit that target again. I'd come pretty close. It just needed a little refining. After all, I hadn't done so bad -

_"Wasn't so bad, was it?" _

I watched as the two discs were sent off one by one like they had minds of their own, both coming back. It occurred to me that I was crying, and I was suddenly furious. I cried so much. Some days I wished that I could get rid of my tear glands, so I could spend less time crying and more time fixing things. Feeling inordinately brave (or stupid - not sure which), I tried to snatch one of the discs out of the air as it came back -

"AH!" I gripped my hand as the disc cut through the skin, the razor embedded in the disc so sharp that blood didn't flow for several seconds. I fell to my knees, ducking as the other disc went around me and smacked a wall with a sharp _thok. _I shook as I curled up around my injured hand, and I couldn't hold back the flood any longer. I was suddenly frightened, and I couldn't make it go away. Every corner held the same face in the shadows, the face of a man I didn't even know the name of, much less what he'd actually looked like. There had been others, but...

I sat there for several minutes, sobbing as I listened to the gentle _swish swish _of sword-metal hacking at imaginary enemies.

_You are not a victim. You are not a victim. You are not _-

I was aware that the sounds of sword practice had ended, and I was gripped with an unexplained bout of terror. I abruptly looked up, staring at Kanda's face as he stood a few feet from me. He had his eyes narrowed in suspicion, and I was almost glad for it. I scrambled to my feet, and I started to leave. A hand wrapped around my wrist, and I let out a high-pitched scream of outright fear that would've put ice in the blood of a serial killer. I yanked my wrist away, covering my mouth with both hands to hold off the hysterical giggling that followed. Kanda stared at me with an unreadable expression.

"S-stay away from m-me. Please, just-t... stay away f-from me," I stated as calmly as I could manage, aware that my hand was bleeding all over my pajamas. Realizing I'd forgotten both discs, I walked resolutely past him, trying to suppress the sobs that seemed to evade my attempts at capturing them. I changed them to metal bands and snapped them around my wrists with fumbling fingers.

"Mag -"

"I d-don't want-t to talk a-about it," I tried to say, though for the most part the words were pretty incomprehensible from my sobbing. The fear was still there, gripping me. I couldn't even look at him as I tried to hurry out the door.

"Retard, stop being melodramatic and -"

"I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT!" I shrieked to the doors, holding on to myself as I tried not to shatter. My forehead bumped the doors as I stood there, unable to do anything other than cry and hate myself for it. I was being so depressive, and I couldn't stand depressive. It was... counterproductive. I had always been the type to keep moving forward no matter the circumstances. No rent money? Pick up and move. No school system will take you? Teach yourself. No roof over your head? Make one with what you can. Penniless and starving? Get a job. Any job. Any at all. Get two, get three jobs. I'd never had the time to sit and sob to myself 'woe is me'. I never let any of my siblings lament, either. The minute they could work, they were working. Thank God for that.

_I can't stop. I have six kids to raise._

_Five kids. I have five kids. I don't count as a kid anymore. Tch, you can't raise yourself, can you...?_

"Mag. Sit," was his simple command. I'd gotten so used to obeying him that I did it almost automatically. He had me trained like a dog, minus the doggie treats and the belly rubs when I did something right. I sat there, shivering as he walked towards me, and the panic flared again. This time, I pushed it down. When he'd reached me, he sat just out of my line of sight with something in hand, and I almost bolted out the door.

_"What else can you do?"_

"Hand," he tersely demanded, and I shakily extended my hand. He took it roughly, and I tried to yank it back on instinct, but his grip was firm. I was hyper-aware of how calloused and dry his skin was, how warm he happened to be. It scared me how much I noticed just that one detail. I was shaking so hard he could probably feel it in his bones. He poured something over the wound, and I bit back a whimper as it stung. He began to wrap it up in gauze, pulling so tight that I could feel more tears prick my eyes as I sniffled. He tucked the end into my palm, and he got up and walked away. Surprised, I looked up at him, his ponytail swaying with each step he took. He walked back into the little side room he'd been using, and the sounds of practice resumed.

No questions. No glances. No other words. Just a bandage around the hand.

Confused and still frightened, I left. I knew that I wouldn't sleep for the rest of the night. Silently, though... I was grateful, that he didn't ask me any questions. He'd given me what I wanted - silence. He was good at that, though. I bit my lip as I trotted down the hall, hoping that I wouldn't make too much racket. No use waking anyone else up.

* * *

"Ah, Magnolia! It's a pleasure to finally see you up and about!" Komui stated, too cheery for this hour of the morning. I violently yanked back a chair and threw myself into it, feeling incredibly irritable. I'd changed the bandage on my hand twice, and it had just stopped bleeding. My hair was refusing to cooperate. My mind was in a state of disrepair. I couldn't get _anything _clean enough for my tastes, and Komui's office was about to send me to the looney bin with just how disorganized everything was. Papers, everywhere, in no particular order, strewn about like leaves in a forest, and all I could do was _sit here and stare at them. _It was like they were taunting me.

"Uh... Maggie? You don't look too good," Lavi stated hesitantly, and I snapped my head towards him.

"I don't. Want. To talk. About it," I drawled between my teeth, slapping on the most polite smile I could manage without breaking my face. I hadn't slept at all last night. Luckily, I'd dealt with nightmares before, and I knew that eventually the fear would go away. That didn't mean I could actually get some shut-eye, though. Right now, I could scare the Boogey Man just by glaring at him. My face alone would frighten the pants off of an invading army. Lavi skittered to the very end of his couch with a terrified look and for good reason.

I simmered in my chair, playing with a pencil I'd found on the end table nearest me. Komui was looking a bit nervous - I could guess why.

"Um, well, now that you're both here, I'd like to give you your mission information! There have been an unusual bout of regular disappearances in New England for the past few years -"

"Little late there, don't ya think?" I grumbled to myself, my eyelid twitching.

"- and we thought that you two could go and investigate. The Finders do confirm that they know where the problems might originate, but unfortunately they can't get inside. That is why there is a special caveat for this mission, and specifically why we chose you two in particular," Komui stated, and my ears perked up at the word 'caveat'. I didn't like that word. That word meant something bizarre was going to be involved. That word meant I might have to do something I didn't particularly like. I gripped my fists, and I tried to keep from flying across the table so I could strangle it out of Komui.

"You'll both be going to a sort of couple's retreat run by two old women on the New England seaside. We can't get any of our Finders in there because the ladies have ironclad property documents and they only allow legitimate customers into their resort. You two are about the same age, differing gender, get along fairly well, soooo..." I think I may have accidentally ruined his end table by digging my nails into it. I could feel my ire rising to epic proportions. I... had to act... like I was _married to that redhead..._? The two of us shared a glance, and we realized that the feelings were mutual.

"No. Not in a million years. Not in a _billion _years," I rumbled.

"Nope nope nope, not doin' it. I refuse," Lavi stolidly professed. Komui deflated against his desk, and he whined, "Why nooooot? I need two Exorcists who can at least act congenial towards each other! The ladies are incredibly suspicious of the church. Any attempts we make at getting inside are met with a line of lawyers. I would send Miranda and Noise, but Miranda is so shy and open that she puts windows to shame! Kanda's got all the acting ability of a type writer, and Allen's too young!"

"Pff, and I'm any better? Have you seen me lie?" I asked, pointing to myself. Lavi winced. He knew firsthand just how bad a liar I was. Little white lies were my specialty. I had no problems lying to small children. Adults... lying to adults made me nervous. And _acting? _Sheesh, I hadn't had to act since -

_"Should I ask how old you are?"_

- I'd done a school play when I was thirteen. That was the last time I'd acted. Of course, I hadn't done half-bad, but...

"Please please please please, I'm begging you!" I rolled my eyes and threw my hands in Lavi's direction.

"Why don't you send him with Lenalee, then? They're both about the same age! Guys like him marry younger women! Totally feasible!" I suggested in a voice that was quickly climbing octaves. Komui looked like he'd just been frozen solid. He stared at me in utter disbelief.

"Oh no. You did it now," Lavi muttered to me, and I hissed incredulously, "What? What did I do?"

"Lenalee will NEVER PARTICIPATE IN A DUPLICITOUS MARRIAGE. YOU'RE GOING AND THAT'S FINAL!" Komui suddenly shouted, stamping the papers. I felt my jaw hit the floor. What was all that about! Lavi buried his face in his hands and groaned while I slumped in my chair, breaking my pencil spitefully. As we left, I could hear Komui frantically calling Lenalee to his office, using coffee as an excuse to get her up there.

That man scares me.

* * *

The road to New England wasn't too terrible. We'd been dropped off in Boston, and we were now in a little carriage, both of us wearing our civilian clothes. I was wearing a skirt again, and I had to say that it was odd to feel the swish of so much fabric after wearing pants for so long. Lavi looked sharp in a bottle green waist coat and high-collared, starched shirt tied with a cravat.

"Okay, so this is our story. You're Margaret. I'm Louie. We're from a wealthy couple from Baton Rouge. You were a debutante, and I snatched you up inside of six months. I'm the heir to a fleet of merchant ships, and you're the socialite. Sound simple enough?" Lavi asked, staring out the window. He looked uncomfortable wearing civilian clothes. I didn't like it either - I missed my uniform, weirdly enough. Violet had even remarked on it when I'd left. Komui had given us about half a day to pack, and I'd grabbed the chance to catch up with my siblings while I stuffed all my belongings into a bag.

"You look stupid wearing a skirt again. I liked you in pants. You were more adventurous. I could actually see you doing something interesting."

"Maggie? Hey, you listening there? Helloooo~?" I snapped back to the present, and I stuttered, "Y-yeah, yeah, sure, I'm here. What did you say?" He ruffled his red hair, quickly demolishing the neat 'do that Bookman had made of it. Now it was back to sticking out like a haystack. He wasn't wearing a bandanna this time, and it was odd to see him without it. I guess we both looked out of sorts without our usual get-up.

"I was just saying that we're almost there. You okay? You've been pretty grouchy. I haven't seen you like this before. Tired and snarky, yeah, but not on attack mode," Lavi stated, something glinting in his one eye, and I looked out the window in what I hoped was a nonchalant manner. I shrugged, and I said, "I've been feeling off, that's all. I don't feel good. I was hoping that I could get another week in without having to tramp over half the Earth looking for monsters that want to kill me." That answer didn't seem to satisfy him at all, but he let the subject drop. Suddenly, the carriage stopped, and we got out. Lavi paid the man with a few American bills out of his wallet, we got our bags, and we walked up to the gate.

"Wow." My eyes glanced up and down at the old, wrought-iron fortress that passed for a mere gate to the retreat. It looked like this thing was used to keep out demons and zombies, not vandals and thieves. _Touching_ it seemed dangerous. There was so much... _pointy_ everywhere.

"Well, we better get going, _Madame,_" Lavi said with a mischievous glint, and I punched him in the arm. He winced playfully as he rubbed his offended limb, and I pushed open the gate. The thickly wooded road wound on for quite some time before reaching a beautiful cottage towards the end.

I'd read the mission dossier on the place, and it was almost a hundred acres. It extended to the cliffs that led into the sea. Every year for the past five years at exactly this time of year, a single couple would mysteriously leave for no reason at all, and no one ever heard from them again, family or otherwise. Rumor had it that there was some sort of buried treasure out beyond the cliffs where a galleon had shipwrecked after being blown off course, and local legend stated that it was cursed by a haunting of mysterious, ghostly creatures with mystical powers.

"Is this where we check in? It's kind of... quiet," I muttered under my breath, leaning towards him. He shrugged, and he knocked on the door to the cottage.

"Yeeeees?" We both jumped around, my hair standing on end as two voices creaked just behind us. Two old, wizened women smiled at us, their hair pulled painfully tight into buns, both wearing identical clothing. The only difference was that one of them was missing a tooth, and the other wore three earrings in one ear. Otherwise I wouldn't have been able to tell them apart, and I was good at differentiating twins.

"Uh... we're the, uh, Caston couple? We made reservations, and we were wondering where we could check in," Lavi stated, pulling at his collar as the two of us relaxed. Despite the fact we were so far up north, it was unseasonably warm. I did my best to keep from wincing at the word 'couple'. It seemed too weird to call the two of us that. It was like saying that Tip and Mr. Fluffins were married.

The two old ladies bobbed their heads, and the one missing a tooth stated, "I am Suzanna, and this is Agatha. We're the proprietors." I'd guessed. The dossier hadn't said how old they were, and I could see why. Methuselah had nothing on these wrinkles.

"If you'd like to check in, just follow us here," Agatha warbled, and the two tottered up the stairs rather quickly for old women. She gave Lavi a little eyebrow wave, and I watched his Adam's apple bob up and down in apprehension. I held in a laugh. We both went into their cottage. After a few minutes' deliberation and signing, the two of us were led to our cabin by the cliffs, which was a refurbished little one-room cottage with a bathroom, a bed, two wicker chairs, and a table as well as a small kitchenette in the corner.

It also smelled like old people and dead flowers. I was going to have to do something about that. And the clutter was going to drive me _mad. _What was it with old ladies and collecting everything they set their eyes on? If it had to do with love, flowers, or lace, they tacked it on a wall, or stuck in a jar, or put it on a shelf. I felt like I was being suffocated. None of it had been dusted either. Ugh, and that terrible print on the bedspread -

"Uh, Margaret. Margaret. _Margaret._" I snapped out of my daydreams of burning the horrific, dusty coverlet on the bed and looked at Lavi. He raised both eyebrows.

"Why are you looking at the bed with murderous intent?" he asked, and I scratched my head. I coughed, feigning an allergy to the dust.

"No reason."

The two old ladies had left us for the afternoon, saying that it was too late for us to meet the other four or five couples that were currently here. That was fine with me. I'd traveled a thousand miles, it seemed, and I needed to kick the dust off my feet. I sat in a wicker chair, and Lavi collapsed on the bed with a _thump. _He winced. Ha, it must be firmer than he'd thought. I knew better than to flop down on old mattresses. My grandmother's had been terrible. I'd slept on quite a few stiff mattresses -

_Smell of must, mildew, sweat, and hard springs digging into skin -_

- most of which had been in old lady's houses, those that were kind enough to let a room to a poor girl and her five siblings. If I ever had the chance, I'd pay them all back. Most of the time I'd left before rent came up.

"So, what's on the agenda tomorrow?" I asked, trying to distract myself. I rubbed the bridge of my nose between two fingers, hoping to alleviate the headache that was slowly claiming ground. Lavi was quiet for a minute as he thought, and he told me, "More than likely, we'll just have a look around, meet the folks, go down to the little town by the way, that sort of thing. We've got eight days, after all. No need to rush." I scoffed. Most missions took me a good month to do. I was going to need a miracle to finish one in eight days.

"Hey, you never know. A lot of the time, these sorts of things aren't even Akuma. They're just disappearances," Lavi said, sitting up. I stretched and yawned, "Yeah, but it's odd when it happens on the same lunar phase every year, isn't it?" He shrugged at that one. Ha! Point one for me. Of course, I wasn't exactly sure what I was arguing for. I'd be more than happy to learn that the disappearances were just couples out on a lark coincidentally at around the same time every year rather than being gruesomely murdered.

"Either way, I say we take this as a well-earned vacation, ne? We get an entire week off!" Lavi said, bouncing off the bed towards the full length mirror standing next to the window. He tried to undo the cravat that Bookman had tied around his neck (you would've thought the guy didn't know how to dress himself), but it looked like his fingers had all the mobility of a house. He started to mutter to himself after about five minutes of trying to undo the stupid thing, and I rolled my eyes and got out of my chair. This was a woman's job, obviously.

"Turn around and let me see," I said, and Lavi pouted in the mirror.

"I can do it myself!" he whined, until he realized that he'd gotten absolutely nowhere. Begrudgingly, he stomped around in a circle until he was facing me. I tucked my finger underneath the cravat, looking at it from both sides. There were some knots that were harder to undo than others, but in general the harder they were to undo, the prettier they tended to be. The twins had gone to school for a short period of time -

_"Should I ask how old you are?"_

- and they'd worn uniforms. The cravats had been part of it, and I'd done who knew how many knots every day because they couldn't seem to ever get it exactly right. This one looked exceptionally tough...

"Stop moving around. I can't untie it if you keep wiggling," I muttered as I picked it apart. I looked up at Lavi, and he shifted awkwardly, hands behind his back. Suddenly, he had that 'naughty little boy' look in his eye, and he learned forward as he stated, "So you're good at taking off clothes?" I glared at him, _very _not in the mood for flirting. I yanked on the cravat, which was now in a slip-knot loop, and he coughed as it closed around his neck.

"Easy, easy," Lavi laughed as he eased his fingers in between the cravat and his neck -

-and for a second our fingers were caught together. I yanked them back, and I said with a nervous chuckle, "Looks like you can get the rest yourself." I walked over to the bed, sitting down into a mushroom cloud of dust, and Lavi looked at me with a strange expression.

"Maggie, are you -?"

Thankfully, God intervened with a well-timed knock on the door. The both of us turned our heads, and I rubbed the metal bands around my wrists in apprehension. The two old ladies hadn't said they'd be back...

I opened the door with a creak, and a man and a woman stood there expectantly. They were both dark-skinned Hispanics, with black hair, large liquid-brown eyes, and long, straight noses. The woman was drop-dead gorgeous, and the man looked like he'd just walked out of a spa. I swallowed, feeling very plain in my travelling skirt and road-rumpled hair.

"Hello. We're the Reyes from down the way, and we'd thought we would say hello," Mr. Reyes said with a warm smile, extending a hand. Lavi popped up over my shoulder, and his brain automatically switched off at the sight of Mrs. Reyes. He was starting to ogle, and I elbowed him in the stomach with a plastered smile. He coughed and croaked, "Good afternoon." We both shook hands and made small talk for a little while as they asked us where we were from, what our names were, how long we were saying, the works.

"If you're planning on staying so long, you should come to our soiree. It'll be on the pavilion in the next five days. We're inviting everybody," Mrs. Reyes said. I thought Lavi was about to drool on my shoulder.

"Sure, sure," I said with a polite smile. "That sounds like fun! We'll keep it in mind. We really don't know what to do around here - being from the Deep South, we're a little lost in this nick of the woods." The two of them laughed at my little country colloquialism, and Mr. Reyes said, "Well, in that case, we're having a bit of a party down near the river as well." That piqued my interest. What was this about a river?

"Huh, definitely sounds like something we should look into. Right, _honey?" _Lavi asked, milking the last word for all he could get. He hooked an arm around my waist and pulled me in, bumping me against his hip. I was going to kill him. It was taking all my will power to keep my eye from twitching, my stomach from screeching, and my hand from slapping.

"Oh, yes, _shmoopsie pie__. _It seems wonderful," I shot back. His expression went from mischievous to 'dear lord, what have I done'.

"Then we can go to town, _dearest."_

"And I've heard there's a beach, too, _honey bunch." _

"So, _mon amour, _I guess we could go."

"Hmmm, yes, indeed, _bunny boo, _I guess we could."_  
_

The Reyes left as things slowly devolved into a pit of awkward. I glared at him with unabashed annoyance.

"_Honey?" _I asked, walking back into the cottage. Lavi laughed and asked, "What? Not like yours was any better. _Schmoopsie pie. _I haven't heard that one before." I grumbled as I threw myself into the bed, fully clothed.

"You're sleeping in a chair."

"Wait, what? Ne, Maggie, that's not fair! My poor spine! Come on, lemme sleep on the bed! I promise I won't bother you!"

"I already shared sleeping space with a guy for a week. You're sleeping in a chair. No buts."

"Awww, please please please please?"

_"No is no is no!"_


	14. A Telltale Bug

"For someone who couldn't do more than a doggie paddle, you catch on pretty quick," Lavi said. I kicked my legs clumsily, trying not to get them tangled in my shift. I hadn't wanted to go swimming in just my swimsuit – I was pretty paranoid as it was today. My last jaunt swimming had been less than enjoyable, and I wasn't about to have a repeat performance.

"Thanks. It helps that you don't try and drown me when I get things wrong," I panted as I put my feet on solid rock, thinking about a certain someone who would do just that if he could actually swim. On the bank, the couples we hadn't been able to meet yesterday were chatting it up. So far, Lavi and I were the only ones who'd ventured for a swim. It seemed that the river picnic was more for the social aspect than the water.

The river was set on the very western edge of the resort underneath a canopy of trees. It ran underground eventually, but we were on the upstream leg. Seeing as we had quite a bit of time to kill, I'd asked Lavi to teach me how to swim, and he'd obliged. It was more taxing than I'd anticipated, but it wasn't overly difficult. So far, I'd learned how to do a backstroke and a breaststroke. I was still working on swimming underwater. Besides, the current was strong enough to drag quite a ways, and he didn't want to risk having to swim after me if I ended up too far downriver.

"Margaret! Louis! Why don't you come up for some lunch? You guys must be starving!" Maria shouted from the shore. Mr. and Mrs. Reyes had planned the entire river party, and they'd asked the two old ladies who ran the resort for some food for lunch. I got up stiffly and looked to Lavi with raised eyebrows.

"Yeah, let's take a break. While we're at it, we might as well ask some questions, too," Lavi said, helping me up the steep bank. I could already feel how sore I was going to be in the morning. Still, my soreness had nothing on how Lavi had to be feeling. I'd made him sleep in a chair all night. After my little episode the night before, I wasn't keen on sharing a bed with anybody.

He didn't look the worse for wear, though. He was bright and cheery as ever. He'd been up hours before me, and he'd already been dressed and drinking coffee by the time I was dragging myself out of bed. In comparison, I looked like I'd spent all night counting grains of sand while he'd slept the sleep of champions. Even with his hair mussed and wet, he looked like something out of a novel with that roguish eye patch and mischievous smile.

"Hey, Louis, we were planning on having a badminton game. Want to join?" one of the husbands, I couldn't remember which, asked, and Lavi's smile split his face. He nodded and ruffled my hair before leaving, and I rolled my eyes as I rearranged my hair. The ladies giggled amongst themselves, and I tried to be gracious as I sat down on the little blanket they'd put down.

In all, there were five. Maria Reyes, the one who'd invited us, looked as splendid as ever. Macy, the quiet one, was toying with her blonde hair while Josie, a social gal, chattered to Nora. Claire was the standoffish one, keeping mostly to herself. I couldn't really follow what was going on. This was completely out of my depth. I groaned inwardly as I realized just how removed I was from regular, female society. The most 'girl time' I'd had was talking to my sister about the various stupid things the twins had done that day while doing laundry or washing dishes.

"So, what brings you so far, Margaret? Baton Rouge isn't exactly a hop and a skip away," Maria said, brushing back a strand of black hair. The sun was bright through the massive array of trees, and I drew my knees to my chest, aware of just how dirty and wet I was compared to the rest of the ladies who'd come in their best summer wear.

"Well, uh… I'm, um, a writer. Or I want to be, at least. My… husband is inheriting a fleet of merchant ships soon, and I'd thought we'd head up north. I was hoping for some inspiration on a novel, so I suggested we go somewhere to just relax," I said, hesitating on the word 'husband' and coming up with a cover story on the fly. I hadn't really thought about our back story in detail. The ladies looked at me with knowing looks, and I felt left out of the loop in my own story.

"What?" I asked. Josie tittered behind a gloved hand while Claire asked, "So you're _that _persuasive?"

"Persuasive?"

Nora drawled, "I had to kick and fuss to get James to even consider going anywhere other than New York. And then after that, I had to work on him for a while before he started making preparations." Josie, Claire, and Maria made noises of sympathy. Macy had yet to say anything, merely looking down at her lap while glancing up at us every now and again. From behind, I could hear the boys shouting as they played their game of badminton.

"I ended up resorting to womanly wiles, let's just put it that way," Claire said, putting up her hands, and I blushed as the other girls laughed at the straightforward answer. So that's what they'd meant by 'persuasive'. Yeesh, talk about innuendo.

"Yeah. It took a bit of work for me to get Santi to think about coming, too, but he's a sweetheart and he thought about it right off," Maria sighed. I could feel my optimism start to wane as I realized just how inadequate my knowledge of actual married life was.

"What did you have to do to get him over here? Make some special promises? Get an edict? Buy a pair of handcuffs?" Claire asked, and Nora shoved her. I scratched the back of my head and admitted sheepishly, "Uh, we haven't even gotten that far yet."

Five simultaneous voices asked, "What?" I lifted both eyebrows in surprise. Okay, so I hadn't really expected _that _either. Hoping to change the subject, I asked, "So, what sorts of things do you guys do out here? I mean, like I said, I'm looking for inspiration, and I was wondering if you guys had any idea about the local legends and things." The women looked to each other, and Macy piped up in a fragile voice, "You'd have to go into town for that sort of thing. We're all as new to this place as you are. This is my first time."

"Same here. I've never been here before, and neither has Claire or Maria," Nora said. I heard cheering and groaning all at once, and I looked back at the boys who'd put up a couple of branches as a make shift net. Maria sighed and stated, "Men. Can't live with them… no, that's about it." All the women laughed, and I asked, "Is it really that bad?"

"Honey, how long have you been married?" Nora asked, kindly leaning towards me. I bit my lip, trying to remember the date we'd set for our supposed 'marriage'.

"Four months…?" I said, my stomach abruptly trying to suck itself into nothing. I was having very bad vibes. We _really _needed to get our cover story straightened out. Apparently what we had going wasn't exactly realistic.

"Ah, see, that's the problem. Usually all those nasty little things show up around six months in. You know, leaving underwear on the floor, never flushing, the drinking and gambling, the women. That sort of thing," Claire said nonchalantly as she picked up a sandwich. Feeling slightly sick to my stomach, I put down the sandwich I'd picked up. At this rate, I was never getting married. It didn't sound all that appealing. Not only that, but I had a feeling that if the old ladies got a whiff of this, they might start getting suspicious. We really needed to work on this whole 'marriage' thing.

"Hey! Margaret, I was thinking about going into town with the boys. Wanna come with?" Lavi suddenly asked, and I could already feel the women staring at me.

"What sort of promises _did _you make?" Claire whispered to me, and I groaned.

"Nothing you'd want to hear," I sighed as I stood up and brushed myself off. The girls laughed as I walked over to Lavi, whispering among themselves… save for Macy. She struck me as slightly strange. She'd hardly said a word, besides the tidbit about going into town, and she wasn't standoffish in the same sense Claire was. She almost seemed like an empty shell. I glanced back, watching her stare at me the entire way.

"What's up?" Lavi asked as the river picnic disbanded for their respective cabins. That had been short-lived. I sighed and muttered in French, "_My God, this is difficult._"

"_Tell me about it_," Lavi answered back, also in French, chuckling. "_Some of the things they talk about…"_

"_Like_?" I asked, again in French.

"_Mistresses. Debts. Business. None of which I know about_," Lavi laughed, scratching the back of his head. The path back to our cabin was the longest, giving us time to talk. The other couples were grouping up again, from the sound of it.

"_Even Santi_?" I asked. Lavi scratched his head. He shrugged, and he said, "_I don't think so. He definitely has a smoking problem, though. Practically went through an entire pack while we were there. Other than that, he seems like a good guy_."

"_And the others? Anything seem off about them?_" I asked, thinking of Macy. There was a good chance she may be Akuma. She'd been awfully withdrawn. Lavi thought about it, his eye going glassy. I'd noticed the transition more often than not nowadays, recognizing it as him going through his massive store of memory. He'd explained all of it to me during training one day, and I had to say that it sounded like an amazing, if incredibly hasslesome, ability. I'd have so much mental clutter, I wouldn't know what to do with it all.

"_Zachary seemed a little too overly friendly for my tastes. Almost fake, you know? He was definitely competitive, and he's got a very strong arm,"_ Lavi recounted, his French diction practically perfect. Sheesh, what else could this guy do? He could memorize an entire text after one run-through, beat the snot out of Akuma, and now he spoke French?

"_Macy seems kind of odd, too. Very subdued, a little too quiet. I don't like it,"_ I said, looking over my shoulder. There wasn't anyone following us, from what I could tell. The forest gave way to tall grasses, and our cottage loomed fifty meters from the cliffs. It practically gave me vertigo just sitting next to the window. These cliffs weren't little stair steps, after all.

We got dressed in our respective attires, and I stated in English, "I probably shouldn't go with you. If anything, I'll stay here and scout out the rest of the resort, see if I can find anything out of the ordinary. Our behavior as a married couple is apparently not typical." I straightened a sunhat on my flounce of brown frizz, and Lavi ruffled his red hair behind me as we used the single bathroom mirror.

"Yeah, I noticed that, too, when the guys just about dropped dead after I told them that I'd never heard you complain about anything," Lavi said, straightening his collar. I rolled my eyes. He was such a liar. He'd heard me complain plenty. I walked out of the bathroom and straightened the bow at my back.

"The girls almost dislocated their jaws after hearing I hadn't had to do any _persuading _to get us here," I grumbled. Lavi stuck his head out of the bathroom.

"Persuading?" he asked, sounding genuinely confused. For such a lecherous little git, he definitely didn't understand innuendo. I deadpanned and said, "Never mind." Lavi left it at that, and we went our separate ways, me to the forests and him to town. I rubbed the metal bands around my wrists, feeling distinctly unsettled without having Lavi practically attached to my hip.

Let's see what big bad Maggie can find in the dark, scary forests, huh?

* * *

Suzanne peered into the cottage.

"I can't believe you forgot to put a bug in there the first night," Suzanna grumbled. Agatha scoffed, muttering, "You're the one who accepted the last minute check-in. It's not my fault they got here earlier than planned." Suzanna scratched her head, hardly moving the wire-tight bun strapped to her head.

"Well, looks like they're gone. The wife must've left with the husband into town. They're an odd couple, aren't they?" Suzanna noted as she shoved her master key into the stubborn lock. They really should get these oiled and fixed as soon as the new crop of gold came in. Of course, that was days away, but these ladies could definitely wait.

"Yes, I did notice that. They seem so congenial. So sad that we can't have more couples like them. They are so polite," Agatha said. Suzanna resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Her sister could be _so _naïve. You'd think after four hundred years of living, she'd have wisened up a little, but no, of course not. Their politeness wasn't the sort that came from living together as two very unfamiliar people. Nor was their politeness from a mutual understanding. It was odd. It was like they were… _friends. _

Odd indeed.

More than that, they seemed awkward around each other, but then again they _had _said that they'd only been married for about four months. If they were actually on good terms before they'd been married, they had every right to be awkward. Never the less, Suzanna leaned more towards the cynical. There was just something off about the two.

"Oh! They stuffed all my dolls in the closet," Agatha lamented as Suzanna toddled into the cottage. Their bags were set side-by-side next to the floor length mirror, and the bed was rumpled on only one side. Now _that _was truly strange. The maids hadn't been through yet, just as Suzanna had instructed. Agatha continued to whine about the state of the cottage, but Suzanna was more worried about the actual evidence. She knew what to look for in a married couple's room, having cleaned out a good couple tens of hundreds by now, and these two definitely didn't act like the typical newlyweds.

"Agatha, pull up a chair here. We'll put the bug on the ceiling. Do you have the pen?" Suzanna asked as she inspected the sink. Agatha, who'd been busy putting things in their original order, looked up guiltily. Her sister hated it when she went around fixing up the rooms. She wasn't sure _why, _only that it bothered Suzanna. She quickly did as her sister said, and she grunted, "Yes, I do."

Agatha had more magical capabilities than her sister Suzanna, but Suzanna was the brains of the project, no doubt about it. There wasn't anything that Suzanna didn't know, especially about the married, the deceased, and the unhappy. Agatha placed the chair where they'd have the widest range of sight from the bug. She removed an ornate, carved pen from one of her many, many pockets, and Suzanna said, "Remember – don't drip on the carpet. It took me months to scrub out the last squirt you'd put in the floor." Agatha smiled at the remembered outburst of magic. This sort of ink was hard to control. It did what it wanted unless directed with a firm hand. That last incident had been years ago. Agatha was much better at what she did now.

Suzanna went around tidying the room while Agatha drew a miniscule, intricate design on the ceiling. When properly done, the entire thing would last for a good two weeks.

Unfortunately, 'properly done' was hardly ever the case with Agatha, as Suzanna knew all too well. Not to mention it always seemed that Fate was working against them on the best of days.

As Suzanna did the last of the cleaning, she noticed someone coming down the path. She sucked in a breath as she cursed, and she hissed to Agatha, "Hurry it up! She's coming back!" Agatha's brow furrowed as she said, "But I'm nowhere near done yet! It'll only last for a few hours before it wears off."

"A few hours is fine. We can finish it later. Just get off that blasted chair, woman! You look like a fool." Agatha hastily got off the chair, and the ladies packed up. Suzanna realized they couldn't go out the front door – if they did, the wife would know. They had to leave discreetly.

But Agatha had no such qualms as discretion. She simply waltzed out the front door before Suzanna had a chance to stop her.

"_Mon Deux!_" the wife gasped, as Agatha turned around from closing the door. Agatha grinned, showing her missing teeth.

"I beg your pardon? I apologize, I don't speak French," Agatha said innocently. It hadn't occurred to her that the pair spending the night near the cliffs spoke anything else other than English, but they _were _from Louisiana. And after all Mr. and Mrs. Reyes slipped into Spanish now and again…

The wife took off her sunhat. She was a wiry little thing, hardly taller than Agatha and Suzanna herself. And that Godawful brown hair… How did she manage to keep it contained? That had to be an act of divine intervention all on its own. Meanwhile, the second twin walked out of the house, trying to hide the steam that was coming out of her ears. Agatha was such a _dolt. _Did she not understand that they had to keep this a secret?

"Sorry, you just caught me by surprise. I wasn't aware that you were coming by or else I would've tidied up," the wife, Margaret, stated with a wan smile. She'd obviously been on a walk. Her cheap, leather shoes were scuffed and dirty, and her dress was likewise around the knees. Her thin, heart-shaped face was flushed with exertion, and those dirty-orange eyes seemed too shrewd for their own good.

"Well, that was what we were here for. The maids have the day off today, so we're going around cleaning," Agatha said without a hitch. Momentarily, Suzanna was amazed at her sister's ability to fib. No wonder she'd pulled so many tricks over on Mama.

That talent was deadly. Mama hadn't had long to recognize the last trick. Suzanna kept that in mind.

Margaret nodded in understanding.

"I should be getting cleaned up, then. I went on a bit of a jaunt, and… well, it ended a little messily," she sighed, looking down at her dirtied dress. The twins made sympathetic noises as they parted to let the girl back into her cottage. They waved to her as she smiled at them from the door, and the two began tottering down the road.

"Peculiar," Suzanna stated.

"Peculiar indeed," Agatha echoed.

* * *

The minute I walked into the cottage, I knew there was something wrong. First of all, the dolls that I'd shoved into the closet before I'd gone to bed were now in their previous arrangements. That was probably the doing of one of the old ladies. It also amounted for the strange feeling that I was being watched. I sighed as I quickly took them down and stuffed them back into their rightful place. No one should have to suffer from china dolls. It's enough to drive someone crazy.

On top of that, they'd put on a new, much more hideous coverlet on the bed. I sighed and stripped it off, sticking it in a corner where it would be out of sight and, therefore, out of mind. I could live with sleeping on nothing but sheets. Other than that, the room was mostly normal, save for the smell of cleaner and the odd, disconcerting feeling that I had eyes on me. I shivered, rubbing my arms. The little hairs on my arms were standing at attention, and my stomach, as always, was voicing its discontent.

It was probably just my paranoia. I'd just come out of the forests after all. I rubbed the bridge of my nose as I thought about my trip through the trees. I'd cased out most of the property, and it was just trees, trees, and more trees up until the cliffs. It was fairly ordinary, no altars to foreign gods or piles of dead bodies. I'd managed to fall down a steep gully, though, after being frightened by a raccoon, and my dress looked like I'd had a nice dirt bath. I did see Macy looking out towards the sea, though, something I counted as odd enough to warrant some thought. She'd been the only one out by the cliffs on the southwest side of the property that ran south of my own cabin.

I settled into a chair and grabbed a book out of my bag. Translating the Swedish text was a lot easier for me now that I'd had plenty of practice doing translation work for the Order. After learning about my abilities in translation, they'd immediately swamped me with work the minute I was finished with training. The Finder's Department and Kanda were always in a fierce tug-of-war for my time, dragging me from the office to the training room and back. However, the weird feeling that I wasn't alone refused to leave, and I decided that I needed to get up and do something before it drove me completely mad.

Unfortunately, the ladies had done an excellent job of cleaning. The dishes were neatly stacked, and the sink was empty in the kitchenette. The bed was freshly made and pressed, and besides the layer of dust most everything was clean as a whistle. That just left Lavi's clothes and my own bag. I'd been so exhausted the night before that I didn't even bother with pajamas. After my little misadventure in the woods, I needed a good bath. Maybe that would clear my mind.

I dug around in my bag, sighing to myself as I wormed to the bottom. I pulled out what I thought was a nightgown – and came up with the flimsiest piece of lingerie I'd ever touched in my life. I yelped like I'd grabbed a snake and threw it back into my bag as if it had grown teeth and tried to bite me. I stared at it, wondering where in the Sam Hill that came from, because I was pretty certain it wasn't mine. I flicked it away with two fingers and dug deeper into my bag.

Another piece of lingerie. Another piece of lingerie. Another, _even skimpier _piece of lingerie. Another piece that was so skimpy it made a thong look like a parachute. Where were my pajamas?

Suddenly, I thought back to the day I'd spent with the twins and Violet before the mission. The twins had left to go and do something. I'd presumed it was some errand for their next mission. They must've replaced all of my good nightclothes with this lacy, frilly, nasty… _stuff! _Growling out of frustration, I threw it all over my shoulder. I would have to settle for one of my more comfortable sundresses, though I'd practically suffocate sleeping in one of those.

And then, out of nowhere, my curiosity got the better of me. In my… previous line of work, I'd never resorted to anything like those pieces. If anything, I'd been as minimalistic as possible, money-wise. I started to scoop up a few pieces to put back into my bag. I could tell that these were high end pieces of 'finery'. The Twins had spent a lot of money on their little prank. Of course, they had probably thought I'd pull these out in front of my partner, causing an entire slew of stories when we got back. And, knowing Lavi, he would've capitalized on it to the best of his ability. To them, that was more than worth the money they'd shelled out.

I picked one up off of the floor. Several were crumpled up on the bed, and quite a few were strewn on the floor where I'd thrown them. The one I'd picked up was what I would call 'classier' than the rest, though 'classy' was an incredibly generous term. More than anything, it was just a sheer, black shift with lace and shoulder straps, very simple. Now, if I were sleeping by myself, I definitely wouldn't have minded it, though considering my figure…

I stepped in front of the mirror, holding it up over my off-white sundress and the black swimsuit underneath. At least the Twins hadn't decided to add extra offense by buying me overlarge lingerie. I already got enough flack about my extra layer of pudge from Kanda. I had a nice enough shape to start off with, though. It just needed bit of a trim, that was all.

Or a lot of a trim. Same difference.

The _snick _of the door opening reached my ears, and I spun around, clutching the offending article of clothing to me instinctively. My brain promptly shut off all functions, hardly even registering Lavi standing in the door way looking very, very surprised.

"Sacre bleu," was all he said.

That seemed to snap me out of it. I quickly snatched the few pieces still on the bed and chuck them into my suitcase with varying degrees of success. Lavi had already stepped into the cottage by the time I'd gotten rid of the evidence, besides the one dress in my hand. I coughed into my fist and stated, "Uh, they're not, um, not mine. I'm not entirely sure how they ended up in my bag." My face was beginning to emulate an indoor furnace. The top of my head was about to come off. Mortification did not cover my feelings.

By now he was steps away from me, and the apprehension I'd felt before seemed to intensify. I wasn't surprised. People of the male persuasion tended to do that to me. Of course, this felt different from my usual flavor of paranoia. For one, my gut hadn't given its input yet, and it was usually the first to say something. The feeling of being watched had only intensified.

Lavi suddenly plucked the black little thing from my fingers, and while examining it he stated, "Oh, I'm sure it's not yours. Same way I'm sure you're probably not going to wear it to sleep. And how I'm absolutely positive I'm not going to love every minute." My face underwent a nuclear implosion. Wh-what did he just say? This was some sick joke of his. Maybe he and the twins had been in on it together.

"Haha, very funny," I muttered as I snatched it back. For some reason, I felt embarrassed at a deeper level than just being teased. It was like someone was making lewd jokes in front of my grandma or something. It wasn't exactly enjoyable. Well, then again, if someone was telling lewd jokes in front of my grandma, she'd probably fire back with something that'd make Satan turn red in the face...I turned around to throw it back into my bag, and I felt arms drape around my waist as a face was gently pressed into my neck. I stiffened, feeling the hair on the nape of my neck stand at attention.

What in the _blue blazes…?_

"L-la-?" I barely had time to choke that out before lips touched the curve of my ear, and everything in my throat escaped as a squeak.

"_We're being watched," _he muttered in French against my ear, tickling the shell. My skin felt like someone had stuck me inside of an oven. My face was frying underneath the skin. If anymore blood tried to reach my face, my head was going to explode. This was _not _what I'd signed up for!

Wait… being watched…

"_By who?"_ I asked, trying to sound nonchalant. I knew the old ladies didn't understand French. I wasn't sure about everybody else on the resort, but I was pretty sure they weren't multilingual either. The most I'd heard was Santi and Maria chattering in Spanish to each other. No wonder he'd chosen to tell me in French.

"_Don't know yet, but there's a bug on the ceiling that's awfully telling. It's not finished, though. It won't last for too long now," _he stated, managing to somehow make every word sound husky despite the subject matter at hand. I tried my hardest not to collapse and wait to die.

"_You're too good of an actor, you know that?" _I asked with a slightly nervous chuckle. His own laughter thrummed at the back of my neck, transferring from his chest into my back. Goosebumps multiplied along my arms. It'd been a very… _very _long time since anyone had touched me without my say so. And it definitely hadn't been like this.

"_So I've been told. Just trying to play the part. I'd disable the bug, but that would draw attention. For now we just have to act like we like each other. A lot," _he stated, probably a little too gleefully for my tastes. He swayed from side to side, taking me with him, and my eye twitched. He wanted to play hardball, huh?

"_Well, if we're acting the part, _then you can go and pick up all the clothes you've left on the floor. I'm tired after my walk, and I need a shower," I said breezily, brushing him off. That certainly threw him for a loop. Ha, Nagging Wife Mode just went into activation. I rubbed my wrists where the new metal bands had already started to make a snug indention. Lavi deflated and asked, "Whaaa…? Ah, come on! Margie…"

"I'll make you some dinner when I get out, how's that for incentive. What do you want?" I asked, picking up a towel and grabbing a dress from my belongings. There was no way I was going to wear that black monstrosity to bed. Watched or not, I wanted to keep most of my dignity intact, if I could help it. Lavi flopped on the bed, looking at me upside down as I walked over to the bathroom.

"A bun in the oven," he said, smiling lasciviously and waving that lacy, black… _thing _in my direction. I resisted the urge to chuck my shoe at him. I didn't think more blood could pack into my face, but I was apparently wrong. I slipped into the bathroom, hoping that whoever was watching didn't have eyes in there as well as the bedroom, because they were about to see one of the more unsightly things God has come up with.

I finished my bath after a good thirty-minute soak. It had taken a while to get all the grime off my legs, and I'd left the water a dull gray-brown. Still, I felt extraordinarily better as I toweled off. I picked up the dress I'd picked, and I made a face. I was going to die in this heat. Even the travel dress I'd worn yesterday was more comfortable to sleep in than some of the stuff in my suitcase.

I cracked open the door and asked, "Hey, could you grab me something a little less… suffocating? I think I'll die of heatstroke in the middle of the night wearing this." I threw the dress through the crack, not really caring where it landed. A hand suddenly reappeared through the crack, and I stared in dismay at the black, lacy thing in his hand.

"Not _that. _Dear Lord, you'll be the death of me," I groaned, rubbing the bridge of my nose. At this rate, I'd have two red, finger-shaped holes through my face. Lavi snickered, and he said, "You know, you could always sleep naked." He was testing what little patience I had left. If we weren't being monitored this very minute, I would strangle him.

"Never mind. Hand me the sundress," I lamented, shoving the hand with its offensive article of clothing out. An hour later, I was dressed while Lavi took a short shower, and by the time he came out, the feeling that we were being watched had gone away.

"So? What did you find out?" I asked, thumbing another page of my novel. I didn't even bother to look up at him. I wasn't going to be the angry one. After all, we were all decent people. It would just be best if I remained civil. It would be rude of me to tackle him to the floor, choke him with the curtain cord, and then flog him with my parasol. It would be equally uncivilized to beat him over the head with the tea kettle and drop him off into the sea. And of course, it would be unacceptable to tie him to the bed, gag him with socks, and leave him there for the next week.

Didn't mean it wasn't nice to think about, though.

"Eh, nothing much. The boys are all a rowdy bunch, I'll say that much. The talk of the town is this festival they're holding for some fishing tribute. A lot of seadogs are talking about the Spanish galleon that was supposed to have crashed around here. Other than that, nothing new. It's awfully quiet, I'll admit that," Lavi sighed as he collapsed on the opposite end of the couch from me, obviously unaware of my ire. Well, maybe that was a good thing.

"Well, I don't have much to report either. Tramped through an ocean of leaves, had the crap scared out of me by a raccoon, and managed to take a tumble into a dirt pile. Nothing out of the ordinary," I stated a little bit too casually. Lavi raised an eyebrow at me, and he asked with a slight smile, "Are you… mad at me for something?"

I gave him an arched look over my novel.

He rolled his one eye and he said, "Don't worry, the bug wore off about thirty minutes ago. What's the matter? Aw, come on, I was kidding!" I scoffed and buried my nose in my book. Long fingers pushed down the top of the novel so that Lavi and I were literally eye to eye. I gave him a no-nonsense look.

"Do you mind?" I asked, feeling very miffed. It wasn't often I got into a tiff, but this definitely counted. If there was anything that irked me more than dirty clothes on the floor, dishes in the sink, and mold in the bathroom, it was being touched without permission. Especially amorous touching. I think I could see my hormones puddled on the floor where I'd stood in front of my bag. Yeesh.

Lavi pouted at me, practically sitting in my lap, and I shoved him away in disgust.

"At least warn me or something!" I groaned, deflating as I walked over to the bed. I flopped down and immediately regretted the action as soon as I remembered just how hard these beds happened to be. Lavi snickered, and I looked up to glare at him. I pointed a finger, and I ordered, "Don't even say anything to me. You're not funny." He walked over to me, and I was suddenly very aware of just how comfortable we were with each other, most of the time.

We'd grown fairly close since the Himalayan incident. He was the antithesis to Kanda's harsh, rough-and-tumble teaching style, choosing to go a much friendlier route. He could read me like a book, and I had a fair understanding of when I'd pushed things too far with my questions. There was no end to how much he enjoyed teasing me. More often than not, we'd waste training time by chattering on about something. I'd found he was a fount of gossip – the man knew everything that went on in the Order. If it happened, he'd know, and he'd know first. I didn't know anybody else who could make a story about someone stealing Jerry's secret ice cream recipe more scandalous.

And, seeing as he was the first actual friend I'd had since my mother had left us, I was becoming acutely aware of the change in dynamic that always existed between two people of the opposite gender who are very good friends, especially those sharing a room. I didn't like it.

Lavi sat at the foot of the bed while I sat up against the headboard, and I sighed.

"Sorry, I'm just –" I started.

"No, I know. It was my fault. I should've said something first. In hindsight, that was probably jarring," Lavi said, facing me and sitting cross-legged. I rubbed my arms, looking off. It had bothered me more than I'd like to admit. He'd always been incredibly respectful of my space in training. He almost never touched me unless it was necessary or he'd made it very clear of his intentions beforehand. He, more than anyone, understood my predicament, or the gist of it. I wasn't sure how detailed my dossier information was.

"Yeah, a little bit. I'm… not used to it," I stated hesitantly. This was becoming a little too me-centered to be comfortable.

"Are you sure you didn't find anything in town?" I asked, and Lavi shook his head.

"Too much was going on. I was too busy trying to keep up with the guys to really ask too many questions. Besides, there weren't many people out today. For whatever reason, weekdays turn the place into a ghost town. I could swear I saw a tumbleweed," Lavi said, scratching the back of his head. I smiled at the thought, and I drew my knees towards me. Things finally felt like they were going back to normal.

"So what's our plan tomorrow?" I asked, sighing. Lavi's face suddenly split into another megawatt smile.

"I'm glad you asked."


	15. A Family Matter

"You weren't kidding about the festival," I muttered. Lavi walked ahead of me, trotting lightly in the bright New England sun. I was having trouble keeping up in my skirts. Dear Lord, I'd never realized how liberating pants had been. I was going to drown in cloth at this rate, if the sweat didn't drag me to the street first. A carriage suddenly flashed past, and the entire bottom half of my dress was spattered with water. I felt my shoulders slump.

"Well, there goes half my check to the cleaners," I sighed, and Lavi finally looked back. He hurried to lead me through the fray of people. It was a weekend, and the streets were full. I was having trouble weaving in and out of the crush, and the smells of humanity were beginning to make me a little queasy. The _delicious_ aroma of brine and rotting seaweed didn't help either.

"Don't worry. The tavern's just another block. There's someone I want to meet there, an old sailor who used to work for Suzanna and Agatha," Lavi stated excitedly. I nodded listlessly, feeling awfully hot. I was about to cook under all of these layers. Who knew being a Southern Belle could be such a practical nightmare? The skirt by itself probably weighed a good fifteen to twenty pounds! No wonder those society women were so skinny. If I had to tramp around in these all day, I'd lose every ounce of flub Kanda's been trying to burn off of me.

"Yeah, that's fantastic. Ugh. I hope they have water. Or even whiskey. I'll take anything at this rate," I gasped, relieved to see a hanging sign that stated _The Flying Fish. _Lavi gave me a look and he said, "I thought you said you didn't drink." Did I say that? I couldn't recall. I _had _taken a vow against all strong spirits, but hey, a girl's gotta bend a little. You couldn't make an omelet without cracking a few eggs. Of course, at the rate I usually go, I'd end up smashing entire cartons.

"I don't," I groaned emphatically, and Lavi laughed.

The tavern was dark and warm inside, much as I'd expected. I'd worked several stints as a waitress in a couple of different drinking establishments, some of them less savory than others. This one appeared to be rather quaint, with fish netting on the walls and several taxidermed fish specimens looking down at us like the disapproving portraits I always see in imposing houses. We took our seats at a table, and I noticed I was the only lady here. This was becoming the norm, apparently – Mag, the woman who treads where no female dares step foot. That included bars in the early morning, apparently.

"Did you arrange to meet him, or is he a regular?" I asked, fanning myself with a single hand. I'd switched to a corset again, and I was noticing that I was getting lightheaded. Goodness gracious, Lavi must've been a sailor in another life because he'd tied these knots extraordinarily tight. Thankfully, a man asked us for our order, and we both put down water.

"He's arranged to meet us. He noticed I was awfully interested in the Terrible Two up the way, and he said he had some dirt on them that he thought I might find useful. I didn't have the time to talk to him yesterday, so he's meeting us today," he explained, leaning back in his chair. Today, he was wearing just a loose, button-up shirt with a pair of dark, cotton pants. My own attire was a little less casual – a very done-up dress with so many layers, I felt like an onion. It was a miracle I even managed to fit in the chair.

The truth was, this wasn't my dress. It was Claire's. She was convinced that I was missing out on the best that marriage had to offer (of which she'd made sure I became very aware), so she'd connived Nora into helping her snatch me earlier today so they could pay dress-up with me as their life-sized doll. I hadn't really minded (my own sisters used to ambush me with make-up pallet and brush), but the dress was a little much. Claire had insisted that I wear it for the day, and I'd obliged. If I'd known I'd be tramping all over God's green earth to meet a drunk at noon in a tavern, I would've declined as vehemently as possible. Everything is clearer in hindsight, though.

Lavi had laughed the minute I'd tramped up the path. I couldn't blame him. I felt like a walking tent.

"Hey, you okay? You're looking kind of pale," Lavi asked. I gave him a pleading look as I smashed my head into the wooden table. I hadn't had the chance to even scarf down breakfast. I was too busy being primped, pinched, poked, prodded, and 'pampered' (though 'pained' is a much more accurate word). There was so much powder on my face it was practically a second (flaking) skin. I looked like one of the stupid china dolls in the closet at our cottage.

"That's the powder. They laid it on a little thick," I moaned into the wood, and the man came back with our drinks. I sucked it down as fast as my throat could manage, and Lavi only watched in amazement. The glass was empty in about two breaths.

"Mag, you do know that you're supposed to drink water, not inhale it, right?" he asked as I pushed the glass away from me.

Suddenly, a grizzled man took a chair at our table and sat down. I resisted the urge to back my chair away. This man wasn't exactly the posterchild for 'friendly'. Or 'hygienic.' Or 'sane'. He spat on the floor, a great establishment of character, before he stated, "Yer the feller who wanted to know about the witches of Yewmoor, am I right?" Lavi and I looked at each other.

"Yeah. This is my… wife, Margaret, and I'm Louis. She's a writer, and she's had me running around looking for good 'inspiration'," Lavi explained, playing the slightly hen-pecked, newlywed husband. I rolled my eyes at the implied air quotes around 'inspiration'. Because it was every husband's duty to 'support' his wife's lifestyle, even if it was, heaven forbid, _writing. _

"I apologize if this is rather sudden. I knew Louis here had something good whenever he told me about you," I said, trying for cheerful and probably coming off more like creepy. It didn't help that I looked like a clown wannabe. Heck, I had more make-up on my face than a circus clown. Who was I kidding?

"Aye, but what ye're gonna hear ain't no ghost story. 'S true and plain as the nose on yer faces. I seen these things with me own two eyes, and these eyes ain't never wrong. I can see a barnacle on a dinghy from fifty leagues away without even squintin'," the man contested, picking his teeth with a single sliver of wood. The habit picked at my already frayed nerves. I was considering taking it out of his fingers and jabbing it into his eye.

"I'm sure you can," I stated. "Please, do start." The man contemplated for a bit, and for a moment I was afraid he'd fallen asleep with his eyes open.

"Used to be, I worked fer them witches at yonder slot o' land. Had me as a gard'ner, like. Thought they were mighty normal, 'cept they been in the town for nigh on as long as the town's existed. Suzanna and Agatha ain't never changed neither, not in the twenty years I worked for 'em. And every year, one of them couples go missin', like clockwork. Convalescence, bah. Family death, my liver. Business issues, pff. All of it was poppycock," the man stated, leaning forwards. Lavi was taking everything in with that recorder of a brain. I could see it in the way his eye had gone glassy again, reflecting everything around him. He was taking absolutely everything in.

"Then, I saw 'em. I heard of 'em me entire life, them devils o' the waters. Most says they're the demons Christ threw into the lake who'd fled from the pigs straight into the fish and infected 'em with their taint. Others say they're some sorta animal from before man. Nevermind what they were, they're sea monsters, and them witches commune with 'em like they're dogs," the man growled, slamming his fist into the table. Our glasses rattled, but the two of us remained unfazed. I was so used to strange outbursts that it no longer even registered.

"Go on," I said, dead serious.

"Them women… I dunno how they get rid o' the bodies, but they murder them couples. Each pair, always, goes without a trace. I know, cuz I see who goes in and who goes out, and none o' the missin' married ones every went my way or passed by me li'l wayhouse. I could hear them witches talkin' to the water demons, but I never seen 'em do it. I only ever saw them devils leave out the bay," the man stated gruffly. He was quiet for a while longer, and Lavi and I looked to each other. That one glance said a lot.

"Ye don't believe me, do ye? No one does," the man grumbled. Lavi suddenly patted the man's arm, and he said, "We believe more than you think. We've been sent to investigate Suzanna and Agatha's doings. We figured that we needed some outside information. You've been a great help." The man looked up with a twinkle in his eye, and part of his mouth stretched into something like a smile.

"Aye… ye don't say? If ye ever need me help, ye just give me a call," the grizzled sea man stated, and he got up. He started towards the bar, and it was just the two of us again.

"What do you think?" I asked. I knew a good bit of what must be on his mind, but I wanted confirmation before I started jumping to conclusions.

"Well, why don't you tell me your thoughts first? If you were me, what would _you_ think?" Lavi asked, leaning back. Oh, great, he was going to turn this into a training exercise. So much for 'this is a vacation!' and 'we get to relax!'. I straightened up, feeling my corset creak like an old chair being abused by a particularly overweight occupant.

"He's got a chip on his shoulder, probably, because he was most likely fired from his post. The two old ladies could just be that, two old ladies, but considering the bug we found in our room it's starting to look like there are magical influences at play. I'm not sure if Akuma are involved yet. It's a little too methodical for that, so his story might hold water. As for the sea monsters…" I shrugged my shoulders. Lavi laced his fingers over his stomach, leaning back.

"And? What would these ladies want if the story did, in fact, have a grain of truth?" Lavi asked, his eye glinting. He loved it when I got things right on my own. But, he also loved stringing me along. I wasn't sure what he was hoping for this time around.

"Um… the sea monsters must be controlled somehow, but what would you want them for? Wait… unless… you don't think…?" I looked at him sidelong, wondering what was going on in that head of his. He closed his eye, smiling and nodded.

"The Spanish galleon. Most of those ships were part of a treasure fleet, meaning there's a good amount of gold somewhere out there at the bottom of the ocean. I don't know how the couples play into this, though," Lavi said. Yeah, that was final piece missing. Where did a married couple fit into our new framework?

"If they _were _getting gold from that galleon using the sea monsters, maybe it would show up in their expenses. Perhaps we can ask Komui to start a tax investigation," I muttered, fingering my chin. I tried to take a deep breath, and I regretted it. The 'security' of a corset was suddenly becoming more stifling than secure. I couldn't wait to get this thing off.

"I'll call Komui and ask. For now, let's just stroll around a bit and enjoy the festivities, ne?" Lavi suggested, and I restrained a groan. Yesterday, I'd been gallivanting through the forest in nothing but a sundress, a bathing suit, and a sunhat. But hey, I might actually get to have some fun now. I had money to burn, after all, and most festivals had an assortment of different goods for sale. I might be able to buy a thing or two for Lily and Ava and the twins and Violet…

However, it only took twenty minutes back out into the sun to quickly disillusion me. I was about to drop dead on the pavement. This hoop skirt was literally going to be the death of me. I was never going to let anyone dress me up as their personal toy again.

"Can we go back now?" I groaned, hanging on to Lavi's hand for dear life. The crowd was oppressively thick. I wasn't aware that such a small town could hold such a populace. This place wouldn't have fitted on a dinner plate, but the sheer volume of people could take up half a city. Lavi hung on tightly, and he said, "Sure. I only wanted to check out some of the better shirts, and I heard there were supposed to be dancers." Good luck to the dancers – it looked like they'd have to make due with tapping their feet on people's heads. I couldn't imagine there being enough space here for a stage.

Suddenly, something caught my eye. I halted in front of a stall full of books, one of them an incredibly old, loose-leaf bound tome that looked like it hadn't been cracked open for over two centuries. The script was written in extremely outdated English, but I could understand it perfectly well. There were even illuminated pictures, and I picked it up.

"'At's the legends 'a Yewmoor. Lots a history o' that place, even fer here. That thing's s'posedly from the first people e'er come here, near Newfoundland, bout four hundred centuries ago," the shop owner stated, and I flipped through it. What the heck was this thing doing at a festival stand? This was… incredible. And, what did you know, there was a story about witches…

"How much?"

After several minutes of haggling, I managed to beat it down to a price that didn't look like it'd break my bank, and I struggled to pick up the book without spilling pages into the street. Lavi stood behind me with a hand hovering near my back on the off chance that my skirts might overbalance me and send me toppling.

"Nice catch," he stated with an amused smile, looking at the pictures. I scratched my hair, which was painstakingly curled into ringlets and set in a high ponytail. Claire had said it made me look coy. I thought it made me look twelve.

"Thanks. Oh!" One of the pages suddenly flew out, and I reached for it. The wind snatched it away, and I immediately started after it. Briefly, the sun shone through the pages, showing the illumination –

Two sea dragons intertwined in water near cliffs.

CRAP! I needed that page!

I shoved the book into Lavi's arms and immediately went after it. If there was one thing I'd learned about translation, it was that without the entire picture you would end up with a very, very, _very _convoluted sequence of events, something that could be potentially disastrous. This was no different.

"Excuse me, pardon me, woops, coming through, make way, big lady with a big skirt, move it!" Most of my pleas were met with either indifference or anger, but I didn't care. I rounded a corner and trotted as fast as I could after the wayward page, which was floating down a street. Lavi must've been fighting to keep up with me, but I didn't have time to wait. I fit as well as I could through an alley, just barely fitting my wide hoop skirt. The hem was getting soiled, and I made a note to apologize to Claire later. I reached for the page again, but it fluttered out of reach, heading down yet another bystreet. I was heaving now, my chest just barely managing to do the whole 'inhale exhale' thing. My stomach twisted as I watched the page waver over a busy street, and I groaned as I suddenly plunged into traffic. I ended up dodging two cars, a horse-drawn carriage, and three bicycles, along with several hand signs I hoped Ava would never learn.

I bowled over two ladies having a nice lemonade as my target flew over a café. I leapt on top of the tables in hopes of catching it, but no luck. With my eyes on the prize, I hardly noticed the fact that I was beginning to run out of running surface.

_THWAP. _Right on my face into the pavement. I looked up abruptly, aware that the page was now drifting towards the quay. I pushed myself up and forced myself to keep running. It was going to bug me if I didn't have that page. That thing was more than likely the bit of paper that held our theory together, and I wasn't about to let the water have it. Just as it came within reach of my fingers, I bowled over a newsboy, and we both toppled over the quay wall.

As always, I had a few moments to realize just how deep I'd dug my own hole as water rushed up to greet us both. I had enough time to at least close my mouth and my eyes. The splash wasn't as big as I'd expected it to be. The dress absorbed most of the impact.

I popped out of the water in time to see the page lift into the air and begin to float down. I snatched it out of the air as the newspaper boy spluttered to the surface and started to spout words I doubt his twelve year old mind actually comprehended.

"Oh, shut your trap. You're just a little wet. You'll live, trust me," I grumbled as I began to wade back towards the shore. Lavi stood over the quay wall with a mix of awe, hilarity, and maybe a bit of worry. I struggled up to the wall, and he helped me over as a veritable crowd of people gathered around.

"Man, if every one of us Exorcists chased Akuma like you do paper, we wouldn't have to worry about the buggers getting away from us," Lavi laughed as I squeezed out the water from my hair. My make-up was running, my dress was so soaked it felt like it weighed a hundred pounds, and my lungs were on fire, but I had the page, and that was all that mattered. I held it up.

"Well, I got it," I stated, handing it to him. He examined it, and his look turned from one of interest to pity. I frowned.

"What? What's the matter?" I asked, panting. Little black dots were beginning to perform a ballet in front of my eyes. I think they were trying to do a very badly done imitation of Tchaikovsky's Swan Lake. Lavi held up the page for me to see, and my face fell slack.

The illumination had been just that –an illumination. The picture was like the ending artwork of a book, part of the last, decorative pages. It held absolutely no informative worth whatsoever. I'd just run across half the town, knocked over untold tens of civilians, ruined a (very expensive) dress, for a useless piece of paper.

I'd had enough. I fainted.

* * *

My surroundings were warm and light. The first thing I noticed was that I could actually breathe without feeling like my windpipe was a straw, and I scrunched my eyes as I sat up in bed. Lavi's back was to me, bent over the stove. Either I had the innate ability to teleport to the place I happened to like the least, or Lavi had carried me back.

I noticed I was wearing a simple white shirt, probably one of his. Underneath, I was aware of my lack of corset and gain of brassiere. My face was free of make-up. My hair was no longer trapped in a hair tie, screaming for release from imprisonment via curls. I was also suspiciously murk free of sea water. The implications hit me like a dead marlin to the face.

Who the heck cleaned me up? I glanced at the guy cooking in the kitchenette, and I winced. Oh, _please _no. I'd already humiliated myself enough. I didn't need that on my mind either. Groaning, I flopped back on the bed, flinging an arm over my eyes. Maybe if I just squeezed my eyes shut, clicked my heels, and sang Kumbaya a dozen times, I might end up at home, realizing that none of this had ever happened.

"Ah, you're up. Hungry?" Lavi asked. I peered at him with one eye, and I croaked, "A little." Whatever it was, it smelled amazing. I added that to his checklist of things he could do. Speak French like a native. Check. Memorize entire books. Check. Browbeat undead creatures of Satan. Check. Cook something that wasn't already dehydrated. Check. How was this man still single? Oh, yeah, that little annoying 'detachment' thing the Bookmen had going on, right. If it weren't for his lame pick-up lines, he might actually get a girlfriend, otherwise.

"I talked to Komui over the phone, and it looks like the tax search may have to hold off for a while. Along with an army of property lawyers, they've got an entire infantry division dedicated to taxes. These ladies sure know how to build up a legal following. Still, the Tax Revenue Service is awfully interested in them, seeing as it appears they've been dodging their taxes for almost half a century," Lavi said, pouring some sort of stir fry into two plates. I sat up and cracked my back, feeling the satisfying pop of vertebrae being tortured. Taking a deep breath, I asked, "Uh, who…?" I gestured to my general person, and Lavi looked confused for a minute.

Suddenly, he laughed, and I felt my stomach hit rock bottom. Did he have to be so mean about it?

"No, no, no, no, I didn't clean you up. If I had, you wouldn't be wearing anything anyways," he quipped, and I glared. He coughed politely and continued, "Nora came by after seeing me haul your sorry carcass half a mile. She said she felt bad for dragging you into dressing up with, uh… 'that mess named Claire'. She's the one who took care of you while I've been doing this." He handed me a plate, and one whiff nearly sent me reeling. I could probably grow fat on the smell alone.

After chowing through half the plate in little under a minute, I asked, mouth half-full, "Anything else? Or did Komui not deign to give us any more words of wisdom?" Lavi had eaten faster than I had. His plate was completely clean.

"He did say that seeing as it didn't appear that Akuma were involved, we could choose whether or not we wanted to stay on the investigation or leave it to the Finder team Komui's put together," Lavi said, leaning back in his chair. He crossed his arms behind his head, and he asked, "I was going to ask you whether you wanted to stay or not. It's all the same to me."

I seriously contemplated this proposition. So far I'd been humiliated, primped, dragged over half of town, and unexpectedly thrown into more situations than I could count on my hands. Yet, at the same time, I couldn't help but think there was something sinister going on here, especially with those two old biddies. People were dying, and I felt like we were on the brink of figuring out what was going on here. We just needed more evidence.

"I think we'll stay. If I don't, I'll never know what happened. The others told me that this was their first time here, but maybe Maria and Santi might know something. They seem like the two who know the most about this place," I suggested, and Lavi gave a secret grin.

"I had a feeling you might say that."

Suddenly, my golem rang from inside of my bag, and I cautiously got out of bed, very aware that I had no pants. Nora, if you were going to dress me, why did you have to do it halfway? Luckily, the shirt was massive on me, considering Lavi was a giant in comparison, so it drifted around my knees. Nevertheless, I felt very vulnerable.

The wolf whistle didn't help. He got a shoe to the face for his troubles.

"Hello?" I asked, hooking the golem up to the phone. The little thing sat on the table, too lazy to flutter. The line crinkled, and Erastus suddenly asked, "Mag? That you?" I sighed longingly. I hadn't realized that I'd missed the twins this much. Of course, with all the shenanigans Lavi gets up to, he more than made up for the lack of pranks and teasing.

"Yeah, it's me. What's going on? You don't usually call unless-" My blood froze in my veins.

"Mag… you might want to sit down," Erastus suggested. He sounded uncharacteristically calm. Out of the two, Erastus was the much bouncier, extroverted twin who always seemed to be quietly bubbling like a pot with the heat set low. I swallowed, cautiously reaching for a wicker chair. I sat down, and I asked, "What happened?"

Lavi came over to sit by me, and his face showed concern. He gave me a questioning glance, and I shook my head and held up a finger.

"Vi's in jail, and Sebastian's lost an eye."

I felt all the air go out of me. It took several moments for it to really sink in, at which point my hands started to shake, and I began hyperventilating. If I'd been standing I would've toppled over like a rotten tree. Erastus knew me pretty darn well, it seemed. I didn't know how he could be so calm, though. Of course, he probably had quite a bit of time to let it digest. I was getting hit with it like someone had dropped a net full of boulders on my head.

"How… did…?" I asked, my voice coming out as a half-croak, half-squeak. I pushed my hair back, feeling tears start to well up as I thought about Sebastian and Violet. Jail was not a fun place to be if you were a girl, and I knew that firsthand. Losing an eye… I bit my lip, trying to get a hold on my emotions. I couldn't just fall apart. More than anything, my family was going to need me.

"Well, Sebastian and I were patrolling with Lenalee, and we caught a Level Three. We just barely managed to get rid of it, but Sebastian ended up in a building collapse. He was fine, up until he got hit in the face with an I-beam. Violet's in jail for something else entirely. She stole two gold necklaces, and she claims she has no idea how they ended up in her pocket," Erastus explained succinctly, and he sounded strangely detached.

"Can we bail her out?" I asked.

"Yeah. It'll take a bit of legal wiggling and quite a pretty penny, but we think we can get her out and have the charges dropped," Erastus stated, sounding more like himself as he sighed. I let out a shuddering breath.

"And Sebastian? Can they get his sight back?" I asked. Erastus paused.

"Mag, he lost the _entire _eye. The I-beam smashed his head so hard that it crushed the socket, so they removed it. We don't even know if he'll live through the night," he said, finally sounding distraught. A tear welled up in my eye and spilled over, and Lavi handed me a hankie. I waved it away.

"Will you tell me if anything else happens?" I asked, surprised I managed to keep my voice level.

"Yeah. Violet's beating herself up pretty hard over this. She really wants to be here…. Maggie, I'm scared. I don't want him to die," Erastus said, and I could finally feel the tears in his voice. I bit my lip, squeezing my eyes shut. I'd learned as an impromptu parent that sometimes little white lies were okay and, a few times, necessary.

"He's going to be okay, Rusty. You just stay there with him, so that the first thing he sees when he wakes up is your ugly mug," I joked weakly, and he laughed, a sound like breaking glass.

"Have you called anyone else?" I asked, feeling like my voice was going to fall out of my mouth and shatter on the floor. He answered, "No, just you. I'm about to call Lily. She's close by, so we're all going to stay at the hospital here in Munich. I'll call you when something comes up, okay?"

"Alright."

The line clicked dead, and the golem fluttered off the phone cord, gently snuggling into my hand like it wanted to comfort me. I leaned my head back on the chair, and I took a deep breath.

"What's the matter?" Lavi asked, though I had an idea he'd already got the gist of it.

"Violet's in jail for theft, and Sebastian had an accident in a building collapse. He might not last through the night," I said, sniffling. I stood up and walked over to my bag, digging through it. My hands suddenly bumped into my pocket watch, and I pulled it out to get a better idea of where my pajamas were. It dropped on the floor, popping open, and I stared at the faces in photograph on the inside.

I completely dissolved into tears.

I don't remember him coming over and embracing me, or me hanging on for dear life, but I somehow ended up sobbing into his shoulder like the world was going to end. In a way, it was. I felt like a chunk of my world was disappearing, as if Europe or Greenland was slowly sinking into the sea. I couldn't imagine life without my little brother. I couldn't imagine life without any of my siblings. If he died… if he… died…

"Shhh, he'll be alright. Exorcists are the lucky ones, remember?" Lavi sighed, and I pulled away.

"If he were lucky, he wouldn't be in this mess in the first place," I stuttered, trying to make coherent words through my sobbing. I wiped my face, aware that I was dirtying his shirt, both of them.

"Maggie-"

"I'm fine, Lavi. I just need a shower, and I'll be good," I sniffled, grabbing what accounted for my pajamas (a shirt and a pair of petticoats). I was being dumb. I had to keep a positive outlook. There was every chance that he'd survive.

But the fact that he might not still rung around in my head.

Lavi left me to my own devices, and I found him asleep on the bed by the time I got out of the shower. I glanced him over, noting just how tired he looked, even asleep. There was this strain on him that originated from some source inside that seemed to sap him of most of his energy, and it was only on the brink of sleep or in slumber that I usually managed to catch a glimpse of just how weary he was. He'd fallen asleep with his shoes on and the sheets underneath, so I carefully pulled off his boots and pulled the sheets over, suddenly remembering all the times I'd done the same for the Terrible Trio when they came home before I did. Almost unconsciously, I moved the hair out of his face, going through the motions of motherly conduct. Fortunately, I stopped myself before I reached my goodnight kiss part of the routine, something I had reserved for Ava and for Violet, when she was younger.

I took up my post next to the phone, and I waited the rest of the night out.

* * *

I woke up in a flurry of sheets.

"What – how- who-?" I gasped, trying to make sense of how I'd ended up in bed. The last time I'd been awake, I'd been sitting next to the phone. Lavi got up from his chair next to the table with the phone, and I realized that he must've taken my place.

"I woke up around three, and you were asleep, so I thought I'd put you to bed," Lavi stated cheerfully, and I rubbed my eyes. Wait, if I'd been asleep that entire time…

"Did he -?" Lavi shook his head.

"No one's called back yet. You want coffee? I made some," Lavi asked, and I put my head in my hands. I'd had weird dreams, most of which I don't remember. Taking a deep breath, I nodded. Maybe if I drank enough caffeine I might be able to jumpstart my system for the rest of the day. Heaven knows I felt like I needed a battery to take the place of my heart.

As I got dressed in the bathroom, he knocked on the door while holding a coffee mug, and I let him in. He set the mug down on the sink while I tied my hair in a complicated bun, and I asked through a mouth full of bobby pins, "How are you so domesticated? I've tried to teach the twins how to cook and clean, and the most they can do is fling water at each other and boil noodles."

"Domesticated! You make me sound like some sort of housecat," Lavi said, pretending to look wounded. I nudged his arm with my elbow, and he rubbed it in exaggerated pain.

"Bookman trained me from early on how to take care of myself and keep things tidy. If I hadn't, he would've beaten me up the side of the head. He's an amazing cook, actually, seeing as he's collected recipes from all over the world. The only thing I can't seem to keep clean is my collection of books. They almost always end up scattered everywhere," Lavi confessed, brushing back the hair from his forehead so it was sticking straight up. He let it flop down over his eyes, and he grabbed my hairbrush.

"I was wondering why there was red hair on that thing," I mumbled through my bobby pins, and I suddenly sobered as I recalled the twins fighting over who was going to brush Tip. Not only did I miss them, I missed my dog too. I even felt a tug on my heartstrings thinking about Parley and his highly inappropriate and expansive lexicon.

"Still worried?" Lavi asked, leaning against the bathroom counter. I glanced at him, and that was all I had to do.

"A mother never stops worrying," I grumbled. If that wasn't the truth. I'd never realized just how accurate that phrase was until I was elevated to replacement parent. I put my last pin in place, and my hair was now tightly bound into a bun about the size of a baseball. It wasn't coming out any time soon, at least not if I could help it.

I caught Lavi staring at me through the mirror.

"What?" I asked, turning to him with my arms crossed over my chest.

"You and your family fascinate me," he stated bluntly, and I blinked. That was definitely not what I'd thought he'd say. Maybe something like 'your hair looks nice' or 'that dress makes you look fat' or 'you've got a hair sticking out of your head'. 'You and your family fascinate me' was not high on the list of probable phrases.

"Why? We're a family," I said warily. I took the coffee mug on the counter, and I wrapped my hands around it. Lavi shrugged and walked out of the bathroom, saying, "Most of the Order don't have a family. Allen's an orphan. Bookman and I aren't related by blood, and we don't act like it, usually. Kanda might've had a family, but where they've gone, none of us know. Noise and Miranda's families are either scattered or don't want them. Suman had a family, but he was forced to leave them behind. The closest we've got to a 'family' is Komui and Lenalee, and let's face it: Komui's act is just an act – he's a lot more protective than he lets on." I wandered out of the bathroom after him, and I sat on the bed.

"Your point?" I said, drawing my knees to my chest. He sat down by me, and he shrugged.

"My point is, I've never had a chance to truly observe a family dynamic. Yours is… amazing, by all accounts. You shouldn't be able to stand each other, much less love each other, but you do. You're so ready to forgive each other. It's the best of human nature brought out in each of you because you're all together," Lavi explained. I rested my chin on me knees. I hadn't thought of it quite like _that. _We did hold each other accountable. Violet had browbeaten me over drinking, and Ava had immediately stated (well, signed) her displeasure towards Lily's first jaunt of smoking. We kept each other in check.

"And another thing is… you accept more people into your family. You treat them like family," Lavi said, looking at me sidelong out of the corner of his eye. That single green eye held a strange emotion, though I'm not sure what it was. It could've been amusement. Or maybe it was bemusement instead.

"Examples?" I wryly asked.

"Me," he said quietly. I blinked.

"You didn't know me at all, but you still chose to trust me, even against your better judgment – I saw it on your face in Phuket. You were willing to admit you were wrong about Crowley, and now Ava treats him like another big brother. Allen and Lenalee have fallen in with the twins and Violet so much that most people associate them with each other, and they all act like they've known each other their whole lives. The minute Lily sees Noise, she runs up to him and starts asking about his day. You take in the people you like, and you take care of them," Lavi said, almost sadly. I didn't know what to say. It was how we'd always acted. Even when we were dirt poor and down on our luck, our friends were our family, and we treated them that way.

"The Exorcists were one big family to begin with," I added. "You all look after your own." Lavi gave a humorless chuckle.

"Yeah, but it's nothing like what you guys have. You've got… you've got a _life _together. Something that you'll hang on to after you leave the war," he said, almost inaudibly. I tilted my head to the side, staring at him. He looked oddly melancholy.

"We were all we had when we had nothing. God says that every person is our sister or our brother," I told him, and he looked at me. His crooked smile was sad.

"I wish it were like that all the time, then. The world might be a happier place," he said, and it suddenly hit me. Lavi had seen thousands, if not millions, of families torn apart because of war. He'd only told me a couple of stories about the places he'd been, most of them just little funny anecdotes, but underneath them I could sense the tinge of jadedness that came with viewing carnage over and over.

He was worried we'd be just another tally.

"Maybe not happier. Definitely fuller, though," I said with conviction.


	16. How To Get Your Feet Wet And Save Lives

"It should be around here," I muttered, mostly to myself. The seashore was little more than a strip of gravel being beaten by the waves, and the water lapped over my toes. I'd left my shoes behind considering the fact that leather smells absolutely disgusting once it's been soaked. Lavi followed close behind.

We'd spent the past few days poring over books, asking questions, and fighting Akuma in the outlying towns while we weren't at the resort. The couples were all about as knowledgeable as a bag of weasels, and Macy still managed to set off my radar, albeit in a different manner than I'd originally anticipated. She reminded me of someone, that was all. She was subdued, but obviously not dangerous. Her timidity was anything but an act. She dropped a spoon at a breakfast, and the look Zach gave her could've peeled paint. No wonder she was so quiet all the time.

"Are you sure? We're almost at the end of the property. Man, my feet hurt," Lavi complained, and I rolled my eyes. I bound back my hair (again) as the breeze ripped a few strands free from the tie I'd stolen from Kanda. I'd half expected him to barge straight into the resort for it, old ladies and their lawyers or not. He meant serious business when it came to these little slipknots, and it was devilishly satisfying to steal them.

"Of course I'm sure," I said, feeling a little more uncertain with every step. The book we'd picked up at the festival had said something about an underwater cave that was supposed to be underneath a large yew tree. So far, I hadn't seen anything of the sort, but then again, I'm no botanist. I wasn't quite sure what a yew looked like in the first place.

"How's Sebastian doing? Have you asked?" Lavi inquired, and I took a deep breath.

After my brother had lost his eye, they'd said it was likely he'd die during the night from sheer shock, if nothing else. Well, my brother was a trickster as well as stubborn, so he'd lasted through the night (and pranked the nurses while he was at it). They were currently working on getting his socket filled and reshaped so that he looked more human (I hated to think of it like that), and they'd said he would be fine within the month. He'd just have to wear an eye patch.

From what I could hear, the eye patch was his favorite part. He wanted a pirate costume along with it. I told him I'd buy it for him as soon as I came home.

"He's fine. He talked to me this morning, and he was very enthusiastic about the eye patch idea. I don't think I've ever heard someone so excited about losing an eye," I groaned, kneading my forehead. He'd given me a headache that lasted for days. Lavi and I had taken turns sitting by the phone in case someone called, but so far the only thing they'd told us was that he would be perfectly safe in the Order's hands. The science department was even considering making him a robotic eye to replace the one he'd lost, but I'd vehemently told them where to shove their robotic eye, along with the rest of their wacky machinery.

A hand grabbed the back of my neck, rubbing the sore muscles around the base of my skull, and I sighed. I'd gotten a little more used to being touched, and Lavi was easing me into it, like getting into cold water. Of course, we never did anything further than punch and pinch or offer a shoulder hug. We knew better than to push those boundaries.

"Hey! Look, over there!" Lavi shouted, running ahead of me. I rolled my eyes, unable to understand how he could have so much energy. I trotted after him, looking at what he was pointing at. A large tree hung over the water, its branches leaning away from the ocean as the sea breeze buffeted it into its odd shape. I picked my way over the rocks, deeply aware of the algae squishing in my toes, and my neurotic, obsessive mind screamed indignantly.

"Find anything?" I asked as I tried to circumvent a rather large, nasty piece of seaweed that looked like it would chop off my leg if I got too close.

"There's definitely a cave here. During high tide, you wouldn't be able to see it. The water level would be too high," Lavi shouted from the base of the cliff, and I finally joined him. It was, indeed, a cave, but it was deep, dark, and dank.

"Okay, we found what we came for. Let's go back," I said nervously, feeling shivers crawl up my arms. Who knew what sorts of creepy crawlies were in there? And not just cave fish either. Crabs and algae and mildew and slime molds and disease… Lavi suddenly grabbed my hand, and he started to lead me over, despite my protests.

"Hey, hey, hey, we can check it out tomorrow after I buy a pair of galoshes and about a gallon of bleach," I whined. The cave was halfway in the water, so we'd actually have to wade in, something I definitely was not about to do in three layers of petticoats and an over-dress.

"If you're afraid of drowning in all that cloth, just take off most of it and come on. I just want a look inside, see if there's anything useful," Lavi said, letting go of my hand. He shirked off his shirt and rolled up his pants. I groaned as I stood on the shore by myself, unwilling to go in. I didn't like the dark. I didn't like the wet. I didn't like the idea of having small, blind fish swim around my feet and nibble at my toes. Not to mention all the talk of sea monsters had me a little jumpy.

However, being alone seemed to trump being wet and cold and in the dark. I wasn't the type to be by myself. It was a bit of a failing, probably born of my double X chromosomes. I grumbled to myself about the various ways I was going to make the redhead pay as I started to remove the many layers of clothes I had on until I was wearing nothing but my chemise.

The water was just as cold and nasty as I'd imagined. I slowly waded into the cave, the water soon reaching my waist as I called out, "Lavi? You in there?" Something grabbed my leg, and I screamed and thrashed.

Lavi popped out of the water laughing, and I stood there, not amused. My eye started to twitch, and I growled, "I'm going to kill you." He was still giggling as he snorted, "You should've seen your face. It was priceless! I wish I had a camera." I made a move to tackle him, but my foot landed on something slimy. I yelled in surprise, backing up. Lavi stared, and I said, "I just stepped on something very… nasty." I didn't even want to think about what was down here. I'd already dusted the entire cottage because I was afraid of getting black lung from the years of accumulated dust. Now I had to worry about all the things in this cave.

He dived down to search for whatever I'd stepped on, and he came up with a slime-covered chain. He frowned at it, looking deeper into the cave. It was so dark, light didn't penetrate.

"We should come back early in the morning when the tide goes out. There's something down there. I don't want to go in right this minute, though," Lavi said seriously, and I could understand why. I almost had to tread water. The tide was beginning to come in fast. We'd spent the entire morning chatting with the old ladies, an event I wouldn't wish on the fiercest Akuma. They'd asked the forbidden question about children. I'm lucky blood didn't pour out of my ears. And, Lavi, of course, being the ham he is, answered, "We'd try for them right now, but Margie here's a little shy, ain't that right? I've even went the flowers and chocolate route and everything!"

And then the talk of the breakfast table had been… mortifying. While the boys had gone to go and eat 'a real breakfast' at the tavern, I'd been left with the girls and their talk of the exploits of the last few days. I now knew more than I ever needed to about the marriage bed, though I'd already had a good idea to start off with. I would never be able to look at silk ties the same way ever again. What innocence I'd had before was dashed against an assortment of chipped china, old lace tablecloth, some delicious crepes, and crystal glassware.

"Do we have to come back? We know it exists. That should be enough," I groaned, following him back out. I had already had problems sleeping before the eye incident with Sebastian, but now I could hardly think straight I was so tired.

"There's something down there, though, that's got to be – Maggie, what is your friend doing out there?" Lavi asked, pointing beyond to a little rock spur. Pale blonde hair flew out in the wind, and my eyes widened.

Macy opened wide her arms and jumped off the rock straight into the churning water, and Lavi dove after. I was about to jump in until I realized that, with my swimming ability, I'd just be giving Lavi more work to do. I waited nervously as Macy floundered and fought to stay afloat, obviously having changed her mind about how she wanted to die. Lavi got a hold of her and dragged her back just as the sun began to touch the water.

"Honey, what in the Sam Hill made you decide to throw yourself into the ocean at a tide change?" I asked in a very angry, very Mommy-sounding voice. She'd nearly given me a heart attack. Lavi handed me a shirt, and I started to towel her face and neck. She was sobbing so hard she could hardly speak, and I said, "Let's get her up to our cottage. She's going to need some dry clothes, and she's about my size." We led Macy up the stone steps that zigzagged the cliff almost half a mile away.

With the fire going and her clothes drying on a rack, Macy looked less like a drowned cat and more like a pretty, if unfortunate, little girl. She couldn't be older than I was. Lavi glanced back as he made tea, and I asked the girl, "Now, tell Auntie Mag-" Lavi shot me a look, and I stopped midsentence.

"-Uh, Auntie Margie what's the matter. Whatever it is, suicide is definitely not an option, and if you were going to do it, you should've tied a rock around your foot," I stated. "And worn a shabbier dress. Look at that thing! It would've been completely waterlogged! You want them finding you like that?" Macy seemed to consider this as Lavi looked at me with a horrified expression, and I realized that I'd just given her more ideas.

Oops.

"Wow, now that I think about it, that was a stupid idea. And that was an expensive dress, too. I hope it'll dry out completely. Zach would kill me… would… kill me if…" Macy suddenly turned into a sugar cube in the rain. She sobbed raucously, and I looked to Lavi for help. He shrugged as if to say 'you're one your own' and I gave him an incredulous and disgusted look.

She told us the whole story. She and Zachary had been married rather hastily after it was found out that Zach's fiancé, Kara, was pregnant with another man's child. Macy's father had agreed on the grounds of business, and Macy, like most young women in her situation, had hoped for the best. And, unfortunately like a lot of young women in her situation, her hopes were crushed after the first week.

I was very acutely aware of how suicide might look like a walk in the park in comparison to the alternative. Heck, I'd practically _been _to the alternative. Drowning sounded much easier and lot less painful.

However, that was the end of it.

"We've been working on our problems for a while, and he seemed to be getting better. And then… and then last night… last night, after we'd had a drink, he just… attacked me, but not like _attack _attacked me, like grabbed me and just… saying all these things to me, what he wanted to do to me, so I got scared and I hit him over the head with a lamp, and he went down on the floor, and I think I killed him and I… I… I can't go to jail, Margie, I just can't go to jail! I didn't kill him, I swear it was an accident!" she sobbed, and I held her as she reached for me. I leaned my head against hers, and I looked up at Lavi helplessly. Crap, what did we do now?

The redhead scratched his chin in thought, and he said, "I'll go and check on him. If you only hit him over the head, there's a good chance he was just unconscious, not dead. If that's the case, he won't remember anything. Is there anything else?" Macy sniffled prettily, her big, watery blue eyes staring up at him almost adoringly. To her, Lavi was probably the picture of the perfect man. Too bad she wasn't his type. He liked _widows. _Yeesh.

"Uh… the drink we had was… it tasted funny. I think, maybe, he was poisoned. He went down really fast. And I'm not that strong," Macy hiccupped, wiping her nose with a hankie he'd offered her. Lavi and I looked at each other, and it was like a moment of telepathy. Well, less telepathy, more prediction.

"Louis, you can go and check at the cottage. I'll bring Macy down to Maria's. The Reyes won't mind putting you up for the night, at least until the both of us get this sorted out," I said, and Macy looked at me in confusion.

"Sorted… sorted out?" Lavi smiled beatifically, and he said, "We're… sort of like investigators. I do a lot of work like this with my father. We run more than just a merchant business, and Margie was a working clerk before her mom stuffed her into a debutante dress." I was always impressed by just how easily Lavi could lie.

We headed off in different directions. After explaining the situation to Maria and Santi, they'd both eagerly agreed to let Macy stay the night. Their cottage had two floors instead of one, and it had two suites. Mac was more than grateful, thanking me and the Reyes couple over and over again as they sequestered her into their humble abode. I started to head back, and I was suddenly aware of how dark it was. I frowned and fumbled for my metal bands, making sure they were secure along my wrists.

However, as I walked down the path through the forest, I was aware of the hairs on the back of my neck standing straight up. Kanda had taught me that my instincts were probably one of the most valuable tools I possessed. During anticipation training, I'd listened to my sense of wrong very closely, and I'd managed to pinpoint my feelings pretty well. This was definitely an Akuma.

I suddenly spun around, activating my Innocence at the same time. An Akuma clashed against the metal bands, sending shock waves up both arms as I warded it off. I was suddenly batted into the trees, and I screamed as I was sent flying. I rolled and got to my feet, clumsily following the same rituals I'd been practicing in the training room for weeks. An Akuma, about the shape of a grasshopper only about fifty times bigger, leapfrogged over my head to land behind me, and I blocked bladed mandibles.

_Mantis falls back, _Kanda's voice said in my head, an automatic instinct to draw on past experiences. I dropped down low, surprising the Akuma as it lurched forwards.

_Rabbit kicks out, _his voice said again, and I followed the pattern we'd set. I lashed out with a leg, knocking it off balance.

_Mongoose strikes, _Kanda stated in my mental ear, and I slashed with both hands. Gashes sprang on its face, and it reared on two overlarge legs, shooting out spikes on cables. One of them cut straight through my dress, and I grumbled, "I actually _paid _for that one!"

The distraction cost me, though, because I was suddenly stuck under a giant foot, claws raking through my dress.

_Tch. Idiot, _Kanda muttered. Yeah, that part of the pattern had showed up, too. It was usually around this time that I lost focus anyways. More spikes whipped out to hit me, and I sawed through the leg holding me down with one hand as I used the ring in my other hand to block the head trying to eat me.

"I'm going to enjoy consuming your flesh, Exorcist," it hissed, and I muttered, "I don't think you will – I've been eating a lot of pickled fish lately." I finally freed myself, and a hammer smashed the Akuma off of me. I got up and dusted myself off, breathing heavily as Lavi broke both of the large legs on the Akuma. I hefted one disc, and I prayed to God for a moment.

_Dear Lord. Please don't let me hit my teammate. Last time I did that, Kanda almost had my head on a platter and he had to walk around with a bandage on his thigh for nearly a week. I would rather not revisit that particular experience again. Thank you. _

I let the disc fly, and it smashed straight through the Akuma's head. It stood there for a moment as if stunned, and then it fell over. I perked up at having finally hit something, and I jumped for joy with a big whoop. Oh, yeah, I'm the bomb! Finally, a happy feeling!

Lavi cursed as the disc came back, and I deflated. My happy feeling just ran away with its tail between its legs. I ducked, and the disc buried itself above my head. I looked up at it, noting the very visible hum it gave off from having been thrown so hard. I put a hand around the grip, and I yanked as hard as I could, but the thing refused to come free.

Another hand suddenly replaced mine, and Lavi yanked backwards, freeing the disc. He handed it to me with a raised eyebrow, and I rolled my shoulders sheepishly.

"You'll never let me live this down," I sighed to myself. Lavi contemplated it, and then he shook his head.

"Nope. I don't think I will," he said. I rubbed the back of my neck, aware of just how dirty I was, and we both began to head back to the cottage. However, as we did so, I felt eyes on me once again. However, when I looked back, I saw no one. Ever so slightly I quickened my pace. This forest was giving me the creeps.

"Well, Zach's perfectly fine," Lavi said sardonically.

"Really?" I asked, not in the least interested. After meeting him, I hadn't been impressed.

"Yeah. He was already talking about lawyers by the time I managed to get him down to the reception house. That man knows how to talk."

* * *

"Suzanna! Suzaaannaaaa!" Agatha whined as she burst into the house, and Suzanna, busy at the kitchen stove, asked, "What is it, you dolt? Shut up before you wake up the entire property." Agatha took a deep, wheezing breath, and she said, "The two… who just came… they're from the church!" Suzanna rolled her eyes. Agatha was a little slow on the up take. Suzanna had already put a new bug in their room, a much more discreet, smaller, harder to find bug, and she'd deduced from their conversations that they were probably from the same blasted place that kept asking for entry on the grounds without a warrant. Of course, tomorrow that'd be all taken care of. Zach and Macy had looked like such good candidates, but after the debacle that had taken place today, there was no way. Those, two, however, were less of an issue. Their only problem was their virgin status. It was obvious that the two were not married, and there was a good chance that one, if not both, were still virgins.

Now, in the old days, that would've been absolutely wonderful. Virgins came about a dime a dozen, and all you had to do was steal a village girl who wasn't married yet, and there you go! Instantaneous sacrifice, just waiting for you to nab. If you managed to get a married virgin, that was even better.

However, these days it appeared that virgins were in short supply, so all the old spells had to be revised. Just about everyone was experienced in one way or another, and it was just oh so much easier to go with the flow rather than hunt down that one girl or one boy who was of age, yet not bedded just yet. Children, of course, were a much better pick, seeing as you could never truly run out of children, but people got awfully curious when children went missing.

And so, they two had concocted various ways of making sure that couples managed to get the job done, just in case, but this was a certain predicament they hadn't counted on. After all, here were two people, both of them unwed, who knew about their little plot (or the gist of it, at least), and both were of opposite gender (quite obviously) at just the right time and place practically waiting on a silver platter.

"I know they're from the church, Agatha. You old hag, why do you think I've set the schedule early for the sacrifice? I've already talked with the Sea Lords, and they're willing to accept payment before the New Moon. Now we've just got to make sure those two are, ahem, fit for sacrifice," Suzanna said, stirring the liquid mix in a pan on the stove. Agatha's mouth formed a 'O' of surprise, and she asked, "Do you need me for the incantation? Or for the delivery?"

"Delivery," Suzanna muttered, not trusting Agatha to get the incantation right. She'd already done that once, and they'd had to put off the sacrifice for an entire three days. Three days! The Sea Lords almost quit! After all, punctuality is of the utmost professionalism, and were they not all professionals?

Suzanna poured the mix into two wine glasses, topping the clear liquid with wine to mask it. Now, it looked like nothing more than a small token drink for the nice, new couple. Suzanna muttered the incantation and put the drinks on a tray, and she gave it to Agatha. For a moment, Suzanna wondered if she should've asked Zach or Macy to do this bit (those two were dumb as bricks and would never have known a thing, especially after a bit of memory editing), but she changed her mind. There was no way that Agatha could get this wrong.

Before handing over the tray completely, Suzanna narrowed her eyes and leaned forwards menacingly towards her twin.

"Make sure they _both _drink it. If you have to stand there and watch at the window, be my guest. Once they down it, they won't even know you're there, anyways. As long as neither of them somehow ends up taking a cold shower, everything should go as planned," Suzanna grumbled, and Agatha sheepishly took the glasses. Dumb, cheap recipes. They were so easy to negate, but most people didn't know about the little loopholes on potions, especially these non-magic folk. Of course, Suzanna herself had been tempted to turn off the water at night, but that would tip somebody off.

"Of course, sister, of course. And… what happens, pray tell, if the little, er, Zach-and-Macy-thing happens again?" Agatha asked. Suzanna stared blankly at Agatha.

"Make sure that it doesn't. Use your imagination," Suzanna ordered, shooing off her twin to go and deliver a little 'parting gift' to the nice couple from down the lane.

* * *

"Komui says that the tax evasion route worked. The ladies haven't been paying taxes for – get this- almost as long as the bureau's been around. They filed the first few back in 1770, and then they never came back, and it got lost underneath a mountain of paperwork when the Revolutionary War started," Lavi said, poking his head into the bathroom as I brushed my teeth. I'd borrowed a pair of his pajamas, seeing as I was absolutely sick of trying to sleep in petticoats, and it hung off my frame like a hot-air balloon from a tree. Still, they were airy and comfortable, so I wasn't about to complain.

"Sheesh, that is a long time. Are you sure it's the same two ladies?" I asked through a mouthful of toothpaste, and Lavi nodded.

"Suzanna and Agatha. I'm amazed no one noticed that the same two old ladies have been living next to them for almost a hundred years," Lavi muttered. "They're definitely witches if they've lived that long and no one's noticed. They may even be brokers for the Earl." I spit into the sink, and I stretched, yawning.

"We'll tackle it tomorrow. I'm beat. Besides, tomorrow's our last day, isn't it?" I asked. I was actually a little excited. I was better at this than I thought.

"Yeah, it is. I'm still trying to figure out how the missing couples fit into all of this, though, and their expenses _do _show some oddly extravagant things, from what I can tell," Lavi said. One of the days, not sure which, he'd gone to the ladies to offer his 'help' with expenses seeing as he was going to be a 'merchant' and wanted 'practice'. The old ladies had been reluctant, but they allowed him to. I remember him complaining about it because he'd said that he 'felt like they had hung an entire dead chicken coop over his neck, they were breathing down his collar so hard'.

"Well, this says that the couples were for some sort of sacrificial ritual that has to do with the sea monsters," I said, picking up the book we'd gotten at the festival. Suddenly, a page flew up in a draft, and I cursed as it went in the gap between the bed and the wall. Lavi waved at me and said, "I'll get it, hang on." I put down the book gently, hoping not to dislodge anymore pages, when Lavi suddenly said, "That's not good."

"What's not good?" I asked, and he suddenly removed a small ivory bead from under the bed. It was painted with intricate eyes, and I felt my stomach sink. That was most definitely a bug. But how long had it been down there?

Lavi pretended not to know what it was and threw it out the window. However, it was clear to both of us that the ladies now knew that we knew about their little plots. His trick wasn't going to do much.

There was a knock on the door, and the both of us jumped. We looked at each other, and I felt like a weasel was waiting to bite at my feet the minute I moved them. Lavi broke the silence by opening the door, showing a wizened old lady, though I wasn't sure which wizened old lady. She smiled bright, and I sighed. Never mind. This one was Agatha.

"Hello. We knew you'd be leaving tomorrow, so we thought we'd give you a parting gift before you left," Agatha stated, holding up a tray with two wine glasses. Lavi smiled, and he said, "Oh, my, how thoughtful. I'll just take these…" Lavi took the entire tray, and Agatha looked slightly taken aback. He set them down as Agatha started to come in, and I suddenly yawned.

"Oh, dear, it's time for bed, isn't it?" I stated rather blatantly, and Agatha cracked another smile, the gaps in her teeth disconcertingly dark. If I didn't know any better, I'd say that there were dark things waiting inside that cavernous mouth.

"Why, yes dear, it would be. I'm sorry, just… that wine is home made. It's a delicacy of ours, and if you don't want it, we'd hate to waste it," Agatha said, putting on a sad face, and I hesitated.

"No, no, we'll take it, don't worry. Well, good night!" Lavi said brightly, shutting the door abruptly. It was quiet for a while, and then there was the shuffle of feet away from the door. We both let out sighs of relief, and I looked at the glasses dubiously. I didn't like this at all.

"Do you think it's poisoned?" I asked. Lavi shrugged.

"That bug wasn't _that _good. It was obviously a little clumsy, though probably serviceable. I don't know if they want to risk poisoning us," Lavi said, picking up the glass. He sniffed it experimentally, and I said, "Maybe we should just leave it be. Better safe than sorry." Suddenly, he downed the entire thing, and I watched in horror. He sighed and stared at the glass, and he looked up at me with a smile.

"Nope. Definitely not poisoned," he stated, and I squeaked in dismay.

"What did you do that for? You could've been killed!" I screeched, pulling at my hair. Dear Lord, what was I supposed to do if he just suddenly keeled over? What do I tell Komui? Or Bookman!

"Maggie, do you know how many times I've been poisoned?" Lavi asked, examining the crystal glass in his hand, and I slumped in a chair. I opened my mouth and shut it. I had no idea.

"Too many times to count. I know poison," Lavi said, setting down the glass and looking straight at me. In that moment, I felt a chill pass over me. Lavi had probably brushed Death so many times, the two kissed cheeks and exchanged pleasantries.

"Part of my training is identifying poisons in solids and liquids, as well as consuming small amounts of the more potent ones to gain a bit of immunity, though we leave off the really hard stuff," Lavi explained. I put a hand over my eyes, and I groaned, "Just… warn me next time. That scared the living daylight out of me."

"See? Worrying over me like family. What did I tell you?" he said, and I could hear the smile in his voice. I got up out of my chair, and I took my own glass, swirling it. He'd said it was safe, but… I shook my head, and I walked over to the sink.

"Wait, wait, you're going to get rid of it? It's actually not bad stuff," Lavi protested, and I looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

"I don't drink," I stated in a tone a lot colder than I'd intended. I tipped the entire thing into the sink, watching the purple liquid go down as I licked my lips, temptation still tugging me to try and lap up what was left. A long time ago, I might've done just that.

I walked over to the bed and stretched out again, dead tired. It was about time I hit the hay and called it a day. Tomorrow was going to be eventful –

Surprise would be jealous of whatever emotion was running through me when I felt arms wrap around my waist and lips trace my jaw line.

* * *

**A/N:** My apologies for not reporting back for so long! I've been slacking lately, especially with my recognition page for this particular story. It's a little slower than the others that I usual have going - having so many OCs in one story is bound to create some shunnage, I guess. Anywho, on to the interesting bit!

Big, big thanks to my three new favoriteers. You guys have give me quite the confidence boost whenever I see that you added this to your (hopefully long) list of favorites. The same goes to my two new subscribers. And, of course, my reviewers who've faithfully put in their input (har har, I know) so that I can get the gall to post the next chapter.

As of right now, I'm petitioning for some really in depth, incredibly honest, very scathing reviews on the story as a whole (or just the chapter in general, if you want). I'm not asking for flaming (because that is highly unproductive). I really want to know what everyone likes/dislikes/hates about the story, the characters (canon and otherwise), and the plotline/premise. Any and all comments are welcome, as long as there's something to back it up. As this is the most OC heavy story I have (besides Amestris AD), I feel I have to be exceptionally careful about derailment. My hope is to keep progressing the story into something more and more coherent and interesting (and of course fun), rather than have it devolve into meaningless OC dribble with canons being flung around like ragdolls.

All questions may be forwarded via PM if there are any. I'm only too happy to explain, discuss, and wonder.

As always, God bless you all.


	17. How To Mistake Aphrodisiac For Poison

I stiffened immediately, a burst of adrenalin practically dousing me in an instant.

"_I thought you said you'd warn me first," _I grumbled in French, leaning away from Lavi as he chuckled. There couldn't possibly be another bug. If there had been, he would've told me, wouldn't he have?

"Gotta have the element of surprise, though. Makes it that much more fun," he stated in English, breath tickling my neck as he laughed. Realization struck me hard in the gut as long fingers turned my stunned face towards his, and a mouth swamped my own with a soft, hungry need. An arm had me in an unbreakable embrace, and I felt panic as he began to walk me backwards, my knees caving as they hit the edge of the bed. Angry, shameful memories resurfaced as I fell, my brain sluggishly pulling itself out of its coma. What was going on here?!

"_Should I ask how old you are?" _

I shoved his face and growled, "If this is your idea of a joke, it's not funny. Get off of me before I hurt you." That was a bit of an empty threat. Lavi was much better at hand to hand than I was. I could last about fifty seconds against Kanda. Lavi could last almost indefinitely. There was no comparison.

"There's only one joke, and that's you hurting me," he chuckled, raising an eyebrow.

And then, I noticed his eyes. Or, rather, eye considering he only had one, as far as I knew. The green was cloaked in purple, a haze around the edges that threatened to overtake the whole. He hesitated for a moment, blinking in confusion as he looked at me, almost as if he wasn't quite sure how he'd moved from point A to point B. My eyes flickered to the wine glass still on the table, and it clicked.

They'd drugged the wine. They weren't trying to _poison _us. They were trying to… to… I'll be honest, I had no idea what their game was, but I was suddenly very glad that I hadn't decided to drink the wine. At least, Lavi was mostly harmless as a raunchy teenager. I... was a different story altogether.

My distraction must've given the drug an opening to completely overshadow my partner as he pinned me with both hands and kissed me again. I _thought _I was ready for it this time, but something strange happened, something I definitely hadn't expected.

While there was a part of me that was absolutely revolted and angry, another part of me, a small part that I'd thought no longer existed, was _enjoying it_, the press of skin against skin, lips against lips, teeth to teeth, the hand pressing me against his face, the arm under my back holding me to him. It relished this feeling of exhilaration and the hormonal fireworks that were lighting up my brain. That part of me took over and actually kissed back.

And then, I was very aware of how scared I was, the moment passing like a cloud over the sun. One hand was settled against my hair, and the other was at my waist. One of my hands had wandered to the back of his head, fingers wound in strands of red hair, and the other was down the neck of his shirt, fingernails digging into skin. Lips suddenly moved on to my neck, and I took my chance to try and grab for the hammer strapped to his leg, knowing that he was never without it. Maybe if I smashed him in the head -

A very fast set of fingers gripped my own, and Lavi looked at me with an almost pitying look.

"Ah ah, naughty, naughty," he cooed, and for the first time I felt actual fear for my life. I'd been sure that, even like this, he wouldn't hurt me. I'd thought that maybe I could somehow persuade him to get off of me, go outside, and stay there like a dog in a doghouse. Now, I wasn't so sure.

And you know what, I _said_ 'don't drink the drugged wine', but does anyone listen to Mag? Nooooo.

"_Please_ get off?" I asked sheepishly. For a moment, the request floored him. I could see that the purple had pushed back against the green, but now the green was taking over again. An idea popped up in my head, and I pulled the strap of his eye patch, snapping the elastic against his face. He yelped in pain as I squirmed away. I dashed from under him, falling to the floor as he scrambled to catch me, and I ran to the bathroom, slamming the door in his face. I locked the door, and I looked around, trying to figure out what I could use as a weapon. I hadn't thought to get my bracelets, which were on the nightstand on the _opposite _side of the bed. I picked up a good sized bottle, wondering how hard I'd have to hit him to knock him out. Macy had done it just fine –

"_And after we'd had a drink…"_

I blinked as I realized something. Macy's entire story –

The door suddenly swung open, and Lavi raised an eyebrow mischievously, holding up a bobby pin, from my suitcase no less. I deflated, hefting the bottle in hand. He ignored it.

"Maggie, come on, it's all in good fun. Stop being such a wet blanket," he said, walking into the bathroom, and I felt like crawling underneath a rock and crying. This was _not _my friend. This was some drug-crazed hound dog. Then again, between drugged and normal, the only difference usually happened to be that _I _wasn't the object of his affections, but nevertheless I kind of preferred it that way. I swung the bottle in my hand at his head, and he caught it easily, snatching it the way a parent would take a toy from a tantrum-ridden two year old. His straight razor was on the counter, but he'd already advanced far enough into the bathroom that I'd have to reach around him. Besides, what was I going to do with a razor? Slit his throat?

The back of my knees hit the bathtub, and I was out of options. Wait, no... actually, I could drown him. So I _did_ have an option. Of course, it wouldn't be so much a problem of getting him in the bathtub, considering if I played along I could definitely coax him, but I would rather pick a route that left me with a little dignity and a rather not-dead partner. I stepped into the tub, backing up towards the faucet with nowhere to go. He knew it, too, because his eye glittered a bit in the light of the bathroom, and I swallowed hard.

"_Little girl, you sure do love your family."_

A hand brushed my face, leading away strands of straggly, light brown strands. Calloused fingers lifted my face so I could look up at him. I shivered, too scared to move. He'd already shown he was a lot stronger and a lot faster. Kanda had told me that the combat moves he'd taught me were supposed to help in a situation like this, but then again that was against another assailant who didn't know those same moves. My back pressed against the knob of the shower as he leaned forwards, chuckling with half-lidded eyes.

"Now, now, come here. I promise you'll –" An idea blinked on in my head, and I shoved the water on as cold as it would go. Lavi was suddenly hit with a face full of water, and I ducked underneath his arm, racing out of the bathroom. I grabbed my weapons off the nightstand as I stood there sopping wet, and I activated them, a single thought retracting the blades so that I wouldn't cut anything or, more importantly, anyone, myself included. Lavi scrambled out of the bathroom, and I immediately launched myself at him with a war cry. He looked up, genuinely surprised, as I suddenly smashed a metal, flat ring in his face, sending him backwards into the bathroom again. He stumbled and cracked his head on the bathtub, and he cursed vehemently.

I stood in the bathroom doorway, prepared to do it again, but he put up a hand and croaked, "Wait, Mag, wait a second!" I started to walk into the bathroom.

"Mag... Maggie, please, I didn't... mean..." Not convinced, I flicked the blades of both rings out and held one against his throat, adrenalin making me shake as I lifted his head to look at me. Oddly enough, I'd never been this afraid of an Akuma. I'd never been this _vicious _towards an Akuma. Still, this stung, stung me deeper than I wanted to say. I felt like I'd been betrayed and violated in ways I couldn't talk about.

Lavi looked up at me, hands up, not bothering to move. He shivered, sopping wet, as blood dribbled on to the tub from where his head had hit the edge. He swallowed and said, "Maggie, I'm so sorry. I should've – Oh my god, I'm so sorry, just… Magnolia, I…Oh god…"

I held still, so still I thought for a moment I'd turned into a statue. His eye flashed at me, a bright green, watery orb, and I realized that something about the water had negated the effect of whatever drug they'd put in the wine. I started to shake as he gently pushed the blade away from his throat, and I ran out of the bathroom.

I launched myself out of the cottage towards the cliffs, and I stood outside underneath the fingernail moon feeling like I was going to fall apart. I leaned over, feeling like I was going to puke, and I started to hyperventilate, my usual response to most situations of a traumatic bent. I heard footsteps behind me, and I turned around.

Lavi stood uncertainly underneath the dim light of the moon, and I wasn't sure what to do. I knew that the drug's effects had worn off, but at the same time my paranoia was so strong that I contemplated threatening to throw myself off the cliff if he so much as took another step towards me. I kept reliving that moment of him touching me, caressing me, _kissing _me, and feeling both disgusted and guiltily satisfied.

You can take the girl out of the brothel, but you can't take the brothel out of the girl.

"Mag, what do you want me to do?" Lavi asked, his voice trying for soothing and coming out as cracked and smashed, as if someone else had overused it and given it back to him in pieces. I stared at him, my hair thrown about by the wind. I shivered in the cool breeze, and I realized that I was soaking wet and three buttons of my shirt were undone somehow. I quickly yanked my shirt closed, hugging myself as I thought.

"Uh... hang on a second, I'm still trying to figure that out," I stated honestly. The cold night air was beginning to clear my head, and the aftershocks of adrenalin withdrawal were leaving me with shaking limbs. We stood there for a while before Lavi said, "We should go inside. We'll catch our death standing out here." I nodded, carefully heading back inside.

"Maggie, you can put that up now," Lavi said nervously. I looked down at my weapons. I hadn't deactivated them. I set them down on the coffee table with a massive _clunk, _and I collapsed in a chair, staring at the floor. I rubbed my wrists, noticing the bright red indentions where my bands usually sat. Lavi pulled up a chair across from me, and I suddenly got up and walked over to the bed. Oookay, too close for comfort, no thank you, nope nope nope.

"Mag-?"

"I think I need to go to bed," I stated wearily. I sat down on the bed, but I couldn't bring myself to put my legs under the sheets. For some reason, this bed felt tainted, as if the very memory was pressed into the mattress where my body had been, waiting to be unlocked the minute I lay down again.

Someone sat down on the other side of the bed from me, and anticipation training told me he was reaching for me.

"_Don't _touch me," I snapped, harsher than I'd intended, though it felt good to let loose some of that pent up frustration. I felt myself tense as the hand drew back.

He kept trying to make amends when he didn't need to. All he had to do was leave me alone, and I'd sort it out myself. A lot of it didn't even have to do with him, anyways. As selfish as it sounded, most of the problem lie within me. That part of me that had enjoyed all of that… I hadn't thought that it was still alive. Go figure. I can't even get rid of parts of me.

I realized I was being egotistic as I glanced behind me at my partner. I kept thinking that I was the only wounded party. Lavi was the one who'd had his body hijacked. I wasn't even sure if he remembered any of it. For all I knew, one minute he'd downed a drink, and the next his student was holding a blade to his throat while he was trying to hold his head together. Sheesh, I hadn't even asked him if he had a concussion.

"Lavi…? Are you alright?" I asked cautiously. I turned around, looking at him. His head was hung low, and his shoulders slumped. He looked over his shoulder at me, and he gave a weak excuse for a smile.

"I guess. I don't know what to make of myself right now," he stated, and I slowly began to crawl over to him. His head was still bleeding. I got up and grabbed the nearest shirt.

"Hang on, let me help you. I'm not doing too well as a partner seeing as I'm letting you bleed to death," I joked in a brittle tone, trying to hold up a fragile smile. Lavi looked up unexpectedly as I forced my paranoia to settle down and my stomach to quit protesting. I began to dab the back of his head with the shirt, clearing away most of the blood. It didn't look very deep, luckily. It would make for a heck of a goose egg, but it wasn't life threatening.

"Here, let me do this," Lavi said, and he held the shirt to the back of his head. He continued to stare at the floor, and I opened my mouth to say something. He looked up expectantly, and I shut my mouth, realizing there wasn't really anything to say.

"I was scared," he suddenly said. He looked up at the ceiling, as if it held the words he was supposed to read off.

"I felt like someone had dug out someone from inside of me that I didn't know was there and put it in control. It wasn't like somebody else was using me. It was like… _I _was controlling me, but it wasn't any part of me that I was familiar with," Lavi explained, and I shivered. I walked around and dug through his clothes for something dry, and I handed the set to him. His head was mostly cleaned up now.

"You frightened me," I admitted, and he barked a laugh.

"Trust me, you frightened me, too. I was aware the entire time, and I just about wet myself when I saw you grab that bottle," he said, and I rolled my eyes.

"You handled it pretty well," I said sardonically, and he suddenly sobered.

"I suppose… Ugh, and I remember it all. That's the worst part. I remember-" He halted there, and I finished for him.

"Snogging me?" He winced, from pain or chagrin, I didn't know. Probably chagrin. I'm not the top choice on the 'Girls I Want To Snog' list.

"Yeah. I also remember you snogging back," he stated, and my face began emulating a tomato. He looked up at me, and he asked, "There's that part of you, too, huh? That you didn't think existed." I suddenly wondered if that part of me was the drug's doing, not mine. Still, I was pretty sure that I was the one who'd been in the driver's seat because it didn't take me long to take back command.

"Yes, there is, but that's from something different entirely," I admitted, playing with a piece of hair. By now, it was almost two in the morning. I looked up at him, and I said in playfully miffed tones, "But you already know all about that, don't you?" He gave me a guilty smile.

"I was curious. Besides, I wanted to know about-" He fell quiet again before continuing, "- about what that sort of thing's like. Now I know, and… it's not nice." I giggled, the sound crossing from the country of Sanity to Hysteria.

"Not nice. That's one way to put it," I said, the words sounding fragile.

"How did you manage to do it? To let yourself… be that way?" he asked. I bit my bottom lip, chewing pensively before answering, "You stuff yourself in this… box. A mental box. And every time you use it, stuffing yourself in gets a little easier. And that part of you that wants out grows a little stronger. Pretty soon, you're not sure which one you are – the one in the box or the one doing the things that need doing." I looked sidelong at Lavi, suddenly wondering something.

"Was that the only reason it scared you?" I asked, and he looked sheepish. He pulled on an ear, the three earring holes glaring as the skin stretched. We'd decided it'd be best if he left them out, seeing as no self-respecting son of a merchant would wear pirate rings in his ears. In a way, I missed them. They were practically an extension of his ear.

"Um, well, I've never…" He grimaced and moved his hands about in a 'well…' gesture. I blinked.

"Seriously?" Lavi blushed. It was the first time I'd seen anything like embarrassment get to him. I laughed.

"_Never?" _He crossed his arms and looked off.

"Shut up! I don't like to talk about it," he muttered. I shook my head and patted his shoulder.

"Don't worry. There are a lot of guys who haven't, more so than you'd think. They just talk big. My brothers are celibate, because God help me I am not going to take care of their baby mamas _and _their babies. If those boys had their way, though, they'd have sowed their oats over half of Europe by now," I groaned, staring at the ceiling. I thanked God that I had a mean backhand, because every time I caught them looking at a girl, I smacked them for it before they could even think of making a pass.

Lavi laughed, and I smiled. He took a deep breath, and he admitted, "Just… this is kind of sentimental, but I'd rather start off the right way and _not _do sleep with someone because of some funky aphrodisiac cooked up by old ladies." I rolled my eyes.

"That's not sentimentality. That's common sense. And I told you not to drink it, but you didn't listen," I said, feeling smug.

"Hey now! The only reason why you didn't drink it is because you don't touch alcohol!"

"Well, obviously it's a good policy because _you_ were the one who turned into a creeper," I declared, and Lavi's face suddenly fell. It was awkwardly quiet as the full implications of what might've happened hit us both. If I hadn't had training and resourcefulness on my side… if Lavi hadn't fought the drug… if, if, if…

"Trust me, it would've ended up bad on both sides," he muttered, rubbing the back of his neck, and it hit me just how hard he must be taking this. I wasn't the only one who didn't want to sleep with someone against my will.

"You said to Kanda that you and I… kind of had a kinship because things had happened to you," I said, and I stopped myself as I realized I was pushing too far. _I _wasn't willing to talk about my problems. Who was to say he would talk about his?

He fidgeted and stated, "Well, I had a near miss like this one, except it was a very fat countess in an old castle, and there were chains involved. I was fifteen, and she, um… drugged me." I gave him an incredulous look.

"You have this thing for being drugged by unappealing women, don't you?" I stated, and he threw his hands up.

"This is why I don't tell people about this sort of thing! It was just a _little_ traumatic, and Bookman only managed to get me down off the ceiling after she'd run off with my shirt," he muttered, and I couldn't help laughing. I know that this was supposed to be a heartfelt confession of a horrible event, but man if it wasn't hilarious. Who would've thought?

"Don't worry. Your secret is safe with me," I assured him, patting his shoulder, and he put a hand over mine. I resisted the urge to jerk away, my paranoia flaring up so badly that I almost smacked him. He must've noted my panic because he let go of my hand, and he said, "I think that's enough for one night. I'm about dry now, actually." I was almost dry, too. I crawled under the sheets, still slightly apprehensive. The angry memories I'd had before still sprang to mind, but I managed to push them aside for the sake of sleep. Lavi walked over to the wicker chairs and couch, and I sat up.

"What are you doing?" I asked, perplexed. Lavi lifted his eyebrows and said, "I'm… going to bed." It hit me like a truck full of pennies. Of course – I'd made him sleep in the chairs for the past couple of days.

"Um… why don't you sleep here, and I'll sleep in the chairs. You need more rest than I do," I stated. He slowly got up, and I got out of the bed, and he suddenly stated, "We could… both share." I stared at him and then scoffed a laugh.

"I don't know if that'll be good for our mental health at the moment," I muttered, scratching the back of my head. The lights had dimmed down seeing as we hadn't put any more oil in the lamps, but I could hear Lavi walking across the wood floor. There was a rustle of sheets, and Lavi climbed into bed as I stood up. I thought about the wicker chairs and their scratchy coverings, and I suddenly started to reconsider Lavi's initial offer. Had I really made him sleep on those…?

I climbed back into bed with a sigh. I had better face my paranoia and fear now. If I didn't, it'd fester like an old wound, and cleaning it out would be just as ugly. I settled under the sheets, feeling oddly safe despite the picking my brain was doing at all those memories of the last few hours, going over them like a tongue around a rotten tooth. I could hear Lavi's breathing begin to slow as he fell asleep, and I rolled over to face him. He was on his side, facing me, and again I noticed how tired he looked, more now than ever.

I pressed my lips together into a line, concerned. He was like any of my other siblings; I wanted to take care of him the way I did my own brothers, but I wasn't sure how. My brothers, I could touch. He probably wouldn't appreciate that, though usually he wouldn't have such problems seeing as he practically stood on top of the people he liked. Poor Allen just about suffocated when Lavi was around.

"Maggie?" he breathed, and I suddenly felt panic again. I stilled and asked, "Uh, um, y-yeah?"

"Just wanted to know if it was you," he muttered. I resisted the urge to snort. Who else was there in this room? Santa Claus? The Tooth Fairy? The Easter Bunny?

"How's your head?" I asked.

"Been better." I chuckled, and he smiled, eye still closed. Hesitantly, experimentally, I reached out and touched a hand, and he sighed. Just as tentatively, he grasped my hand, squeezing it tight for a second before letting go and turning over.

"Night, Maggie," he mumbled, and I tried to sort out what all of this meant. Finally I gave up. We were teacher and student, as well as friends. Nothing had changed that. At least, I hoped. The memory still remained, fresh and frightening, of just how close we'd come to crossing the boundary.

I still trusted him, though. A nugget of faith actually existed, much to my surprise.

"Night."

* * *

"How the heck are we supposed to confront two old ladies about feeding their customers to sea monsters?" I hissed into the golem, and Violet's tinny voice said, "Hey, this is your mission, not mine. I just got out of jail. You really think I want to think about how to get back _in _to jail?" I rolled my eyes.

I was up early this time around. I had learned something very valuable about Lavi last night – he kicked in his sleep. He kicked like a mule. I was never, ever, ever, ever going to sleep in the same bed with him ever again. I would rather sleep in a slimy puddle full of cave fish than sleep next to him, and it is _very _apparent how I feel about both slime and cave fish. I probably had bruises the size of eggs all over my legs.

Okay, so I was exaggerating a little. He wasn't that bad. That didn't, however, make me any less reluctant to share a bed with him again.

I groaned as I shifted in my wicker chair, and Violet asked, "What's the matter? Training got you sore?" I sighed.

"I wish it were just training. I could at least run and make the soreness go away. Nah, I slept with Lavi last night, and I'm sore in places I didn't even know existed. That man is too enthusiastic for his own good," I admitted, examining a bruise I somehow ended up getting under my arm. I'd woken up to find the sheets twisted and Lavi's foot in my face.

"Maggie, I thought you were over the whore stage of your life? Besides, aren't brunettes your thing?" I stopped, confused, before I realized what I'd just said, and I smacked my forehead.

"Get your head out of the gutter! There's only one bed around here, and he kicks like he's sleeping next to a demon! He somehow managed to get me in the ribs," I muttered, inspecting my new assortment of bruises. Explaining these away was not going to be easy. I had a ton of bruises in some odd, out of the way again, seeing as I'm an Exorcist-in-training, I could just say that I'd had a rough day and be done with it.

"Huh, so that's what they're calling it these days. Yeah, that's totally what happened. So, when will you be back?" she asked, and I leaned back into the wicker chair, resisting the urge to growl. It creaked, and for a moment I was afraid it'd break. It held, though, and I sighed contentedly. At the least, I'd had a nice long shower. The events of last night were far behind me after a short rest. Of course, it'd come back to haunt me later like a surprise party with guns, but for now I'd enjoy my peace of mind.

"I should be back by tomorrow. We just have to ride to Boston, unless the plan changes," I said, and Violet tittered, "Alright. The twins have been wondering how you've been sleeping? Did you enjoy their little gift? They said they made sure that your first mission with him was _veeery _special." I glared through the golem, not that that would've done any good had I actually been there. Violet had a mental armor against glares, stares, and the like that no man could get through. Few women have ever managed to break through it, too.

"You tell them that I'll shove all that lingerie down their throats after I beat them to a pulp and send them swimming down the Thames," I grumbled.

"Aaaaalrighty, then! I'll be sure to say. Love you, Mag! They say they love you, too. They're too afraid to come over because they think your glare will fry them through the air waves." I pursed my lips and raised an eyebrow.

"I love you, too. Don't get into too much trouble," I stated, and I clicked off. A pair of arms suddenly wrapped around my neck in a hug, a chin resting on my head, and I just about screamed in surprise.

"Good morning!" Lavi said, cheery as a freaking ray of sunshine. I sighed, slumping.

"Hello to you, too," I drawled as he bounced off to make something or other. If there's anything I knew about the guy besides the fact he became a whirlwind in his sleep, it was that he didn't know how to stay still.

"Got a plan for tonight?" he asked, and I shook my head.

"I've got no idea. I was hoping you'd been dreaming up one over there in your nest," I said, gesturing to the swirl of sheets on the bed. He somehow made his grin a grimace, scrunching his shoulders sheepishly.

"Sorry about that. I guess I was more energetic than I'd meant to be," he stated. I was already dressed and packed, and it took him moments to have everything ready. We needed to check out by noon, and then come back later to confront the old ladies about their schemes and take them into Order custody. The Vatican would try them on charges of sorcery, witchcraft, tax evasion, and body theft (though the last one was tentative, considering the both of us would have to testify), and hopefully they'd be thrown into a special jail for wayward magic users like themselves.

The two of us headed towards the main reception house, and I suddenly wondered out loud, "Why _would _the two old ladies drug us both with an aphrodisiac? I mean, there's really no use. You just need two healthy, strong people to sacrifice to the sea monsters, and there you go. Why get them all randy? I mean, Macy had the same sort of story, and the ladies have been talking about how eager their men have become in the last week. It's kind of creeping me out." Lavi thought about it.

"You know, I have absolutely no idea," he stated brightly, and I shook my head. At least he was honest. I was suddenly aware that there was a strange fog as we neared the house.

"This doesn't feel right," I said, and Lavi abruptly covered my mouth.

"Don't breathe," he ordered, and I obliged. He pulled out a handkerchief from his pocket and I tied it around my face while he dug around for another in his pocket.

"What's going on?" I asked as he put it on, and he said, "This is some sort of sleeping gas. I recognize it from another war. You'll drop like a fly before you even get to the house unless you've got some sort of barrier. This isn't perfect, but it'll get us out." He started to lead me off back the way we'd come, but we noticed that no matter how far we walked, we always ended up in the same place over and over again next to a stump.

"Crap. They've put a dimension ward around the road. We'll keep wandering around and around without getting anywhere," Lavi said, suddenly getting worried. I looked up at him and asked, "Do you have any idea how to get out of here?" He winced.

"I don't know too much magic. Bookman was supposed to teach me this year, but we got side-tracked by you and your family's teaching problem," he admitted, and I groaned. Of course, my family managed to be the death of me. I hadn't thought that would be a _literal _thing.

I was suddenly getting very, very sleepy. No matter how hard I tried to keep my eyes open, they always seemed to drift closed. Suddenly I fell over, my legs refusing to lift me. Lavi picked me up by the arm, hoisting it over his shoulders, but he himself was about to topple from the weight of the sleeping gas.

"Gotta be… some way out…" he muttered.

"Click our heels three times," I laughed, tearing off the mask. I couldn't sleep comfortably with it on. Why was it on my face again? I was getting so hot, and I just wanted to take a nap.

"Maggie… Maggie, stay with me. Maggie… Ma…" I closed my eyes, his voice the last thing I heard before I felt a starburst of panic. Something bad was going to happen if I fell asleep. I had to stay awake. I had to get home. Why did I need to go home though?

I'd promised to get Sebastian a pirate costume. _That _was it! I couldn't just sleep now! I had to go get that costume for him, or else he'd be so sad… I forced my eyes open, and I realized that I was lying on the ground. Lavi was next to me, his head resting in crook of my shoulder, breath fluttering my hair. Half out of my mind, my entire thinking fuzzy, I started to stroke his face with a single thumb and say, "Lavi… hey, Lavi, time to wake up. It's time to wake up, hon, or we'll be late. We've got to go… go to… go…." I couldn't remember where we were supposed to go.

Maybe it was school. I remember I had to send Erastus and Sebastian and Violet to school before taking Lily and me to work. They'd taken Ava with them. Yeah… Lavi had to go to work with me. We worked together, that was it. We were going to be late.

"Hey there… hey…" I looked up suddenly, my eyelids drooping again, and a black haze began to fill my vision. Above me, there were two figures in the mist, and I squinted.

"Can you get us to work? Hehe, if we don't… we're gonna get fired," I giggled, feeling slightly manic by now. And I had to do something else, too. Something about a… a costume. Looking at Lavi, that eye patch, I realized why. I had to get him a pirate costume. No, I had to get someone _else _the cost…ume…

"Now, now, love, just go to sleep. There's a good dear. It won't be long now, just head on off to beddy-bye land and-"

"Agatha, they're _tributes, _not _pets. _You don't need to coo at them."

"But she's still awake, sister. And you don't yell at someone to go to sleep. You croon. Like this. Now there's a good girl, yes, go to beddie-by slumberland with the fairies and the teddy bears."

"Oh, you're so _hopeless. _Here, just take that rock and bash her over the head. The Sea Lords like them fresh, but not _that _fresh."

Wait… what…?

"But… Sea Lord Crickadutus loves his to still be squirming, especially the lady. He says the wriggling is the best part."

"I don't _care _what Sea Lord Crickadutus said about his meal. We're running a salvage business, not a restaurant."

But… what's this? I worked in… in weapons, not salvage. I had to get to work. But I was so tired. I looked at Lavi, and I laughed again, letting my head fall against the gravel. He kicked in his sleep, I remembered that. And he'd kick me. That'd wake me up. And then we'd got to work. Just… just a short nap and…


	18. How To Battle Sea Monsters and Witches

Ugh, I hated it when my feet were wet. They felt slimy, disgusting, filthy, and pruned. There was a reason I didn't like wading into caves. But… wait, why was I thinking about wet feet? What the heck was going on? Why were my feet wet? The last thing I remember was that I had to get to work or else I'd be late. Of course, I worked for the Order, and I was on a mission against these two witches who...

I abruptly opened my eyes and sat up, feeling like a bird that had rudely been thrown out of a window blindfolded. I wasn't quite sure what was up or down for a minute, but it didn't take me long to realize that I was shackled to a rock with some disgusting cuffs, and that my feet were indeed soaked. Mostly because they were in the water, where they did not belong.

"Ooooh, she's woken up! That's a quick one, Suzy. She woke up right off when the sun went down!"

I realized that I was in a caveand I glanced around. The ceiling was a good two hundred feet tall, and there was a massive ledge of rock about a hundred feet behind me. It took me a minute to realize where the light came from. A large ball of fire was burning above us, supposedly fueled by some sort of magic. All around, there were little spurs of rock, mostly protruding from the ledge behind me. I was sitting on a rock spur that was just large enoughfor a single person, or perhaps two small people if you wanted to push it. I rubbed my head, realizing that I had a pounding headache.

Lavi! Where did he go? The last time I saw him he'd been knocked out cold, and I'd been trying to wake him up the same way I would've woken upmy sisters and brothers for a day of school or work. Which… kind of entailed stroking his face. I shivered at the thought. I was hoping that his Bookman memory didn't work in his sleep.

I scanned the water to my left and right...

Aha! There he was.

He was still unconscious, splayed out over a rock spur. Just by glancing at him, I knew our weapons had been taken – I didn't have my bands and his holster was empty. That did not bode well for us, because that meant he couldn't smash his way through the chains and I couldn't cut my way through them either. I tried to slip one of them off, but they were exactly the size of my wrists; they were probably magically inclined to be that way. I stared at the writing on the cuffs, but they were so worn that I couldn't make heads or tails of it.

"Oooh, nice try, honey, but that's not going to work. Those cuffs are nigh unbreakable, and the writing is in a language your poor little brain can't comprehend. A nice gentleman in a top hat and a suit, with a speaking umbrella, gave them to us about two hundred years ago. He was such a sweet man," one of the twins said, and my eyes widened.

The Earl had given them these? No wonder I felt foreboding. They were probably Dark Matter infested. Gross.

"I don't believe you!" I shouted, hoping to get them to speak a little longer. How long had I been out? An hour? Two hours? This cave had to be the same one we found, only furtherin…

"Oh? She doesn't believe us, she says. Well, we'd better enlighten her. It is _such _a hassle trying to keep you poor mortals captive on those itty bitty spits. Our Sea Lords have a hard time eating people when they keep swimming this way and that," one twin stated.

"So we decided to chain you," another voice said.

I couldn't see them. They must be farther back against the ledge than I'd thought.

"Sea Lords? You mean the sea monsters? Those don't exist, do they? I thought they were a myth!" I shouted. I hoped that they didn't know how much I knew about the sea monsters. Apparently they didn't, because one of them, Agatha I think, answered back.

"Oh, they're very real, and they get to be very hungry around this time. They don't need to eat much – one human male and one human female every year. They're picky about their figure."

"And they love the ones with the pretty figures, like you two. So sad youweren't married. You would've made a nice couple with some pretty children. Well, if they got most of _his _looks, anyway,though you have quite a bit going for you in the shape department."

I deflated. Even in the face of imminent death, _somebody _had to pick on my looks. At least she'd commented on my figure.

"Wait, I thought the legend said they had to be 'married'to be eaten?" I asked, playing along as the hapless victim. If I knew old ladies, they loved to talk, especially about their projects. Dear Lord, Grandma and her petunia patches…

"Mhmhmhm, poor girl, she has no idea. No, my dear, they don't have to be married. Just one woman and one man. It's just much, much easier to invite couples because there's always one man and one woman, though nowadays I think that's beginning to change. Pity – we'll have to be careful about our applicants, soon," Suzanna sighed, and I rolled my eyes.

I stretched my back, hoping I could find some way to wake Lavi up."Then why did you drug us? To get us to…?" I couldn't even bother to finish.

The old ladies guffawed, and Suzanna asked, "Did you like that? It was a specialty potion, the cheapest I could get, and it _still _works on you saps. Otherwise those shackles would be useless."

The light was brighter now, and I lifted them as high as they would go. The heck...? These were in French! Language I couldn't understand, pfeh!It was just terrible handwriting. It looked like a twelve year old had scrawled all over these things.

_Bindeth, breaketh spirit, yon prisoner keepeth, til blood of virgin thou drinkest,at which I thinketh, thou wouldst most certainly sinketh._

Huh, clever. I think Ava could think of a better cryptic rhyme in her sleep. Still, I wasn't going to complain. I obviously needed virgin blood to crack it open. So that was why she had drugged us both. She'd wanted to make sure. For once my abilities as a super-prude were coming in handy.

I picked up a rock that was about the size of my thumb. I closed one eye and aimed it for Lavi's head. Drawing on all my childish rock war experiences with my younger siblings, I chucked it as hard as I could. It smacked him right in the eye, and he woke up with a loud commotion. He sat up, dazed, before realizing his predicament. And you know what? After being drugged and hit in the head with a rock, he _still_ got it a lot faster than I did.

"The old ladies are feeding us to the Sea Lords," I stated, sounding a lot calmer than I felt. Of course, I didn't feel too panicky either. As long as no kissing was involved, I could face just about anything.

"You don't say?" he shouted back ironically, and I made a face.

"Why are we being fed to the Sea Lords again?" I shouted back to my captors. I hadn't quite caught that part.

"You pay hired hands, don't you?" Agatha shouted, and Suzanna suddenly smacked her. "Ouch! They asked…"

"If you want to give away our plans, speak to them after they die!"

While they were bickering, I dragged my chains over as far as I could go. The water level was beginning to rise, which was a little worrying. I didn't like that fact very much. The tide must be rushing in with the moon, and that meant we'd drown pretty soon if we didn't get these chains off. Luckily, we needed the blood of a virgin, and Lavi just happened to be a virgin, so it all worked out. How oddly convenient.

"Lavi! These things are written in French! The key is the blood of a virgin!" I stage-whispered, hoping that he could hear me over the lap of water and the bickering twins. He slumped.

"You can't be serious. Why do I have to?" he whined, and I glared.

Did he _want _to drown?

"Because, quite obviously, _you are a virgin._Now, go and find a sharp rock or something and get those things open, because the tide's coming inand I don't feel like becoming Sea Lord chow," I complained, still trying to work my way out of theshackles.

They were stuck tight. I'd have to break a couple of fingers to slip them off, and I didn't fancy snapping my phalanges. Lavi sounded like he was hard at work trying to find ways to bleed, and the old ladies were getting impatient. Suddenly, there was a rumbling noise, and the water rushed to my knees. I was almost bowled over as something entered the cavern from some unseenunderwater entrance, and I gulped. That didn't sound good. The ladies gleefully started to dance and cackle. What I wouldn't give to dunk them both into the ocean.

"Lavi… now would be a really good time to get over here…" I fretted, trying to stay out of the water. It was quiet for quite a while, and I thought that maybe it had just been a freak wave.

Something burst out of the water, and I felt my stomach contract in on itself. I groaned. "Oh no."

Two Level Two Akuma, each of them about the length of a ship and as thick around as an old oak, rose out of the water. I took a deep breath, staring at them with dull despair. Sometimes I really, really, really hated my job.

"The Sea Lords are here, the Sea Lords are here!" Agatha sing-songed, and I grumbled under my breath.

Lavi was still working on the whole 'self-injury' thing. I didn't realize it could be so hard to get a cut. This rock spur was not exactly the safest structure in the world. I'm sure he could find _something _to bash himself on. It took me a minute to realize just how selfish that sounded. Wow, I am a total –

"Are these… Exorcists?" one of them asked in a low drone.

Oh, well, low and behold, the thing talks! Next thing you know, they might actually start _thinking._

"What? I don't know. I just thought you'd like to eat them. After all, they're about the right age, right build, and apparently you like the ones that still squirm," Suzanna quipped, and I heard the sound of clanking chains.

"Ugh, I hate it when they squirm. So disgusting," the other one grumbled in a higher pitched drone.

"But it's so much more fun!It's not my fault you're such a wet blanket. You never want to get yourself dirty," said the first one. It was dripping wet and covered in barnacles from thetip of the snout to the end of its tail, whichit splashed indignantly.

My foot was suddenly grabbed, and I yelped. Lavi popped out of the water and held a finger over his lips as I covered my mouth with both hands. TheSea Lords were still negotiating with the witches, and the witches were arguing about weights. It sounded like a good time to high tail it out of here.

Only we didn't really have a way out.

My chains clanked open as I stared at the two groups of monstrosities trading biting remarks, and I slowly slipped into the water.

"What now?" I asked, sitting as low as I could without letting go of the spur. The water was dark and murky, and I tried to suppress my disgust. I _hated _algae.

Lavi whispered, "We'll need to get our weapons first. After that, we fight."

I stared at him.

"You're joking!That's your plan?" I hissed.

"Unless you have a better idea, yes, that is my plan!" he growled, and suddenly it went quiet.

"Where did the redhead go? I wanted to eat that one first. I love the pretty ones," the bigger Akuma bemoaned.

The other one, presumably female for lack of a better term, grumbled, "I wanted the redheaded one! That other Exorcist looked so scrawny! Not to mention, a little offsetting. I mean, I want food that's like a work of art, not some random piece of meat."

I knew who_ I_ was going after first.

"Okay, well, if that's your plan, how're we supposed to get our weapons? We're stuck down here," I sighed.

There was a loud squeal as Agatha shrieked, "THERE THEY ARE! THEY GOT OUT! SUZY, SUZY, THEY GOT OUT OF THE CHAINS!"

I was suddenly dragged underwaterand it took all of my restraint to keep from screaming and wasting precious air. Lavi dragged me as far under as possible, and all I could see was dark murkiness below and bright, flaring spots above us. My lungs screamed for air, and the water churned as the Akuma began to look for us. I was slowly ledaway in a different direction amid a mad flurry of kicks and flails, and finally we surfaced. Somehow we came up near the ledge, and I sucked air down my gullet as fast as I could.

And then I promptly threw up.

Lavi was less than happy.

"That's disgusting! Ugh, why did you do that?!"

"How was I supposed to know I would throw up?" I coughed, trying to back-stroke away.

The Akuma were still looking, and Lavi peered up over the ledge as I tried to keep watch. It was darker now, and I realized we were under a rock shelf.

"The witches are arguing about something. They've got my hammer and your bracelets on a table full of tea and crumpets. Man I would love some tea and crumpets right now. I'm starved," Lavi sighed wistfully, and I slapped his leg.

"Stop thinking about food, and start using that brain of yours to come up with abetter plan. I can't tread water forever. At least think of a way to get us out of the water,"I moaned.

I would love to have come up with a plan myself, but my plans tend to involve a lot of guesswork, running, and screaming. Lavi was a better planner than I was.

"Well, you don't have to be snappy about it," Lavi mumbled, and he suddenly climbed up over the rock shelf and on to the ledge.

I watched as a worrying rush of water sent spray into my face from fifty yards away. Those Akuma were getting closer. A hand reached down, and I grasped it, letting him haul me up andover. I landed lightly on my feet, slightly proud of the fact that I didn't topple back into the water.

"Huh, well, you didn't fall back in. That's a plus," Lavi noted. Some days I wondered if he was a mind reader along with all the other things he was capable of.

"Okay, baby steps. First things first. Weapons!"I suggested, and Lavi nodded.

"Baby steps is always a good course. Of course, I personally think we need to take a couple of giant baby steps, because it looks like they're figuring out where we are," Lavi said nervously as he started to haul me over to the table full of tea and crumpets.

Odd that they had a wrought iron table brought in with matching chairs. If they weren't in such an odd environment, I'd call them quaint, but as the location stands it only made it that much creepier. This must be where they watch the victims get eaten.

"I don't think they're in the water, sis," Agatha whined. "Look, there's not even a speck a' blood or nothin'! I wanna see someone get eaten!"

I winced at the witch's high pitched tantrum, and I snatched my bracelets off the table. Lavi grabbed his hammer, and now we were up a creek because 'baby steps' tended to involve a lack of foresight.

"Now what? How do we get out?" I asked breathlessly, hiding behind the table.

Lavi crouched down and started shoving crumpets in his mouth. "I fing we shoul' fi'd duh eggzhit," Lavi mumbled through a mouthful of pastry, and I slapped his shoulder.

"Eat like a gentleman! Did Bookman raise you to be a pig? You'll choke like that!"

Lavi swallowed the entire hunk of crumpets andwhined, "We're in a battle situation and you're worried about table manners?"

"We're in a battle situationand you're stuffing your face?" I countered.

Lavi opened his mouth to retaliate, and then he stopped. "Touché."

A rather loud splash forced us to flinch under the table, and Lavi grabbed a few more crumpets. I slapped his hand, and he gave me a petulant look before putting them in his mouth.

Suddenly, it fell eerily quiet, and I muttered, "Maybe they... left for a bathroom break?"

"Or maybe they're waiting for us to expose ourselves," Lavi answered cynically.

I shrugged. That was a definite possibility. The Akuma in the water suddenly hauled themselves up on the shore of thecave, and I started to sweat. They were really… _really _big for Level Twos. I shifted my grip on my Innocence, not willing to activate them for fear that they'd somehow sense it. They had a pair of flippers on their undersides, making them look like snakes with flat tumors and they slapped against the floor as the Akuma started to slither around.

"Oh, Exorciiiists, where are you? I bet you taste like strawberries and cream and blood. I'd love to have a bite to eat right now," the lower-voiced Akuma droned.

The higher-pitched one groaned and stated, "You're kidding me! What do you think they are, puppies? They're not just going to pop out and be like 'Here I am!' Even regular humans aren't that stupid."

I suddenly realized that my feet were getting wet, and I frowned.

"Crap. Tide's coming in," Lavi muttered as he shifted his bare feet.

I winced as the rock cut into one of my toes. This wasn't the most comfortable (or feasible) hiding place. Seriously, the only thing that kept us from the terrible twosome was a tiny, wrought-iron table covered with finger foods.

"There you are, you little...!"

I had enough time to turn around and gasp in shock as a little old lady,with a few missing teeth,suddenly descended on me. Lavi cursed as I grappled with the old witch, and he tried to hit her in the head with his hammer.

And, of course, he somehow ended up smashing me in the face with it.

"OUCH! Watch it! Ow ow ow ow, hair, that's my hair! _Get off of me!_ Don't think I'm afraid to hurt a little old lady!" I screamed.

The Akuma were now waddling in our direction, and Suzanna was on her way as well. Lavi was busy fending off the closest Level Two whilstI continued to keep Agatha's fingers out of my eye sockets.

"What is the matter with you? Old ladies shouldn't be this strong! I'm calling foul!" I protested.

I finally managed to knock Agatha's head against the wrought iron table and shecrumpled in a daze before I dumped hot tea on her lap.

"That's for yanking my hair," I said as she patted at her scalded legs.

"Maggie? HELP!?"

Lavi definitely had his hands full trying to keep two fully grown sea monsters from eating him, and I winced. He expected me to help against Akuma that could easily flatten our little cottage along with a small automobile? I grumbled irritably about how people shouldn't expect a golden egg from every single goose when I realized that Suzanna had somehow gone missing.

"Take that you slimy sea hag!" I groaned as I heard a familiar voice.

"Careful with her! She's just an old lady!" Another familiar voice, though this one I was actually a little happier to hear.

The old man from the tavern that we'd met a couple of days ago was trying to strangle Suzanna, and Macy was trying to convince him to throttle her _just _a touch gentler. From the looks of it, Suzanna had been clocked over the head by Macy who was holding a lamp, and the seaman was taking his revenge. Not a bad way to come full circle, I guess.

I was torn from my thoughts as Lavi suddenly screamed, "MAG, LOOK OUT!"

I looked up just in time to see a massive flipper coming towards me and say, "Well, crap."

I threw myself against the ground, and the flipper passed over my head and landed not two inches tomy left. I squeaked as I tried to get back up. The Akuma roared loud enough to shake the ceiling, and I winced.

Macy screamed girlishly whileLavi played cowboy with the second Akuma. That left the first one to me, a prospect I would rather shrink away from. I could deal with massive grasshoppers. I had no qualms with squashing bugs, though I wouldn't mind having help. This… seemed a little bit out of my ballpark.

"Okay, how about you lay down while I cut off your head, and we can end this nice and easy -WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! TOO CLOSE, TOO CLOSE!" My attempts at negotiation didn't go nearly as well as I'd hoped.

"I will TEAR the skin from your bones and SNAP the bones for their marrow. Then I will SHATTER your body and SQUISH your eyeballs into little jelly custards to SPREAD on my toast and EAT with my tea!" the Akuma assured me, and I deflated.

That was really the best sort of threat it could come up with? It was all good up until the whole 'squish your eyeballs' thing,because after that it sort of devolved into threatening to make me a snack for tea time.

"To take a page from my sister, Violet's, book – Uh, how about… no?"I answered back before stomping a foot on a flipper.

It screeched as I cut into its hide with a now activated discus of Innocence. I'd hoped to fight the one that had commented on my figure, but a girl took what she could get. My moment of courage fled as the Akuma suddenly bore down on me, probably with the hopes of crushing me, and I screamed as I was pelted with shedding barnacles.

Lavi seemed to materialize by me and yankedme out of the way. He shouted, "Switch with me! That one's less likely to try eating you! It told me it doesn't do skinny and stickish!"

I didn't have time to verbally retaliate, because the second Akuma was already roaring towards me at about two miles per hour. Now, mind you, two miles per hour is a lot when you weigh a couple of tons and have very sharp teeth. I managed a hit here and there, cycling the Akuma's retort on my figure in my head to try and keep up some semblance of motivation. Called me stickish_, _called me _scrawny, piece of meat, OFFSETTING ..._

I managed to climb up on the monster's back, and now I was slashing at its eyes.

"If you have anything to say to me, YOU SAY IT TO MY FACE, DO YOU HEAR ME MS. AKUMA?!I AM NOT OFFSETTING!" I roared in righteous fury.

The Akuma thrashed, trying to get at me with its basilisk gaze (which, I'd learned the hard way, kind of did this whole hypnotism thing), and I triumphantly managed to hang on, if only by my finger nails and the skin of my teeth. Every now and again I'd catch glimpses of the world around me, including the fact that I was really far off the ground, and Brave Mag was abruptly replaced by Scared-Stiff-Out-Of-Her-Pants Mag.

And that's when I noticed that the ceiling was a little _too_ close.

Oh, bugger.

My body exploded into a massive nova of pain, and I felt like someone had crunched me up against a rock wall – oh, wait, that's _exactly _what happened. I suddenly started to slither against the hide of the creature I was trying to maim, slipping off, and I wondered if the water would make the ground any softer.

I was wrong. If anything, water made it worse, because now I was wet along with the iron rods melting where my bones should've been and the white, burning sheets of metal over what was supposed to be skin and _oh my god I'd never hurt more in my life..._

I was suddenly aware of being dragged, and I looked up blearily into the face of the guy from the tavern and Macy's childish, incredibly frightened visage. If I hadn't been in so much pain, I might've held her and told her everything was alright, but I felt like I'd shatter if I moved too fast.

"Are you alright, lass? That was one good knockin' you took," the old seaman asked.

I managed to coughout, "Fine. A minute. Please."

After about five minutes of sitting up and reviewing that I had to _inhale _to breathe in, and _exhale _to breathe out, the ache in my bones had gone from burning-white-hot-metal-pain to little-gnomes-breaking-my-bones-with-pickaxes-pain.

"Lavi?" I asked, and the two of them looked at me with bewilderment. I worked my jaw and stated, "Redheaded guy, talks too much, jokes like a playwright? That one?"

Macy's mouth formed an 'O' of understanding, and she pointed back, presumably, the way they'd dragged me. The second Akuma was lying in a heap. The first Akuma was fractionally bigger and a little harder to take down. Lavi was still working on it.

"Alright. Just… haul me up for a sec," I said, noting that my legs were finally responding to brain signals, albeit via screaming 'I'm so very freaking sorry, we're not receiving calls, thank you very much, have a nice day!'

My stomach, ever the barometer of situations, had practically disappeared within itself like a snake eating its own tail. My nausea had just mounted, and it was riding me like an equestrian who favored the riding crop a little too much.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Macy asked, big eyes sympathetic and, dare I say it, _that's _new.

"Yeah. Good. Stay here, could you? Don't want you splattered," I said as I hobbled my way through the knee-high water.

I rolled my shoulders and tried to work out the kinks in my bones. I think I might have snapped my ribs again, but I couldn't tell over the fact that _every _part of me was sending distress signals to my brain. Lavi was suddenly picked up by his shirt, and I watched in unsurprised resignation. Yep. Gonna actually have to help. Go figure.

Well, there were various scenarios going through my mind, most of which ended with my death, either via splatting or drowning, or plain out losing my cool and offing myself. However, there was one scenario that seemed to stand out, and it was the simplest plan that I had. Distract and defend like a total awesome-butt whileLavi attacked and hopefully kept me alive and kicking.

"Hey, ugly!" I shouted, hoping to get its attention off my teammate.

As simple as it was, it worked. It looked at me, but I'd already started staring into the reflection of it inthe water. Nice try, basilisk glare – oh, wait, I'm getting sleepy, that's not good, ho boy –

I must've been dragged away again. I woke up to find Macy and the seaman hovering over me in a sense of déjà vu. I frowned and asked, "What…?"

"You blacked out when you walked up to the Sea Lord. It gave Lavi enough time to hit it in the face a few times," Macy explained.

I nodded. Okay, so the distraction worked well enough, but the whole 'defend myself after it's distracted like a total awesome-butt didn't exactly pan out. Sure enough, when I looked Lavi was still beating up the Akuma, and the sea level was just getting higher. In fact, it was almost up to my thighs. The two had to prop me up against a ledge to keep me from drowning. If that didn't help my mood…

"We best be leavin', lass. Ain't gonna be long a'fore this place floods," the old grizzled guy stated, and I nodded, suddenly all business.

Alright, enough Mrs. Nice Mag. It's time to break out some hidden vestige of courage and help save the day. Except that I was worried I might have broken a couple more things than just my ribs. Not to mention I was beginning to realize that I was losing all hope considering if _Lavi _can't take it down, _I _can't take it down, and what's the point, anyways? We can just cut and run and -

"No, I'm not going to leave. Not without them. They… they helped me, they saved me, and I'm not going to just let them stay down here and drown!" Macy protested as the seaman started to get Agatha and Suzanna to their feet.

The two old ladies groaned, though whether at Macy or being told to get up, I wasn't sure. They were tied as tight as trussed turkeys, so I was going to take a guess and say that the old sailor had several handy skills up his sleeve.

Realizing that Macy wasn't leaving, I took her by the shoulders and I said, "Hey, hey, hey, Macy, we're going to be fine. You should go up with him, okay? That way you'll be safe. Trust me, we'll be okay. You've done enough here. I mean, how many people get to say they managed to clock a witch in the head with a lamp?"

As I said that, I took the lamp out of Macy's hands. She was clutching it like a life line, and I was a little afraid of what she might do with it if pushed. Macy looked a little skittish, and I rubbed her shoulder, trying to calm her down.

"Please, Macy? We want you safe," I said, looking her in the eye. She stared at me before averting her gaze, and she scuffed a foot in the water.

"Well… okay-"

There was an almighty screech, and I spun around as fast as my abused bones would let me. My eyes widened as I saw Lavi lay pinned underneath a flipper, and my world seemed to shrink into a single pinpoint.

"Hold that thought," I said absentmindedly as I stumbled towards my new target.

I'm pretty sure that Macy must've gotten the message, because I distantly heard the swish of water as four pairs of feet slogged towards an exit. It was hurting my friend. It was _hurting _my friend. I could see it on Lavi's face. He'dbeen hit hard, harder than he'd been hit since this fight started, and if I didn't stop it… if I couldn't… stop it…

My brain wouldn't compute that fact. It was as if there was a massive wall between the thought and the actual result. All that mattered was I needed to get it off of him, and off him _right now._

My blades were whirring, deadly discs, and I felt angry. My friends were my family, and I protected my family with my life. _No one _hurts my family.

"Hey, ugly," I said calmly, feeling a driving sense of purpose. I was overtaken byan all consuming single-mindedness. Self-preservation could go and kick itself in the butt for all I cared.

Because that _thing_ was going to die. There was no other way out of this. Either it was going to get whacked, or I was going to die trying. Because no one screwed with my family.

And I'd better use this sudden flash of recklessness. In the back of my mind I was pretty sure it was going to be temporary. The beautiful thing about my mind was that it can operate on totally different levels at the same time, and I never even have to think about the necessary things.

I hurled the discs as soon as the giant thing looked at me. My aim wasn't perfect, but it was good enough. It raked across its face, digging ruts into its snout. One of them even managed to nail both eyes, and I started towards the Akuma as Lavi squirmed out from underneath. The whirring disks were coming back to me now, and I suddenly _felt _it, that right moment to stretch out my hands for my weapons. It was an instinctual feeling, as if the discs were just another extension of me. And it felt good. The two of them hit my hands with a sharp _thok_, with only a small scratch on both hands to show for it.

And then things went back to normal. Brave Mag, however long she had stayed, decided that she'd been overworked and needed a vacation. The old Mag came back, and I knew I was screwed.

I looked up and waved with a frightened smile at the Akuma as it stopped its thrashing to growl. It opened its maw to swallow me whole as I drew breath to scream - A massive hammer smashed its face in, and it fell over, dazed, with a few teeth hanging loose with, I kid you not, crossed eyes.

Or what was left of them.

"Finish it, Maggie!" Lavi shouted hoarsely, and I could only oblige.

My adrenalin had finally kicked in, and I wiped my hands on my dress (which was a dumb idea – it was wet and didn't do anything for my sweaty palms).

Crap, he wanted me to kill it. What if I missed? What if I did kill it, and the soul suddenly appeared to me as a ghost? What if it was just playing dead, and it was going to eat me the minute I came near? And what happens afterwards to it, does it just fade away or does it just sit there and stick? Or maybe it comes off in little pieces and there was blood in the water and it smelled _terrible _and -

"Oh, God, I'm going to be sick," I groaned, and I went straight away and did just that.

As I leaned against a wall, I heard a sick squelching noise, and I knew it was done. I wiped my mouth as Lavi came over, covered in blood and looking a little waterlogged.

"You okay?" Lavi asked, and I looked down at myself.

"Does 'broken into itty-bitty pieces and looking like a drowned mouse' constitute 'okay'?" I asked incredulously.

I had scrapes all over. I'd broken things, things I didn't want to think about. I was going to look like an abused hippo tomorrow from the swelling and discoloration. 'Okay' is a bit of an overstatement.

Lavi only laughed. It must've been infectious, because suddenly I was joining in. And, just like that, we were both leaning against the wall, giggling out our guts, coughing until we could slap each other on the back to get it to stop. That's when we noticed that we were nearly chest high in water.

"We'd better get out. That magic lamp's not going to last forever," Lavi said, pointing to the massive fireball at the top of the cave.

We'd probably drown before it went out.

"Okay, how do we get out then?"

Lavi stopped to think.

"You know, that's a very good question."

* * *

**A/N:** Hello, hello, hello! I am so so sorry that I haven't been able to post in so long. Hopefully, you guys don't mind the erratic scheduling - actually, there is no scheduling - and perhaps you'll bear with me a little longer. Anyhow, I hope you enjoyed the latest installment! I'm not very big on battle sequences, and my abilities in that category are sorely in disuse. If you have any questions or wish to submit a review without putting it in the review box, just PM me and I'd be happy to answer. Also, if you have ideas for the story in general, they're all welcome!

Big thanks to everybody who's reviewed, favorited, or subscribed! I'm sorry I haven't been able to update the list of recognition. I've been lazy.

Now, discussion questions: _How well were the battle scenes played out? Has Mag become an over powered character, or is her level of ability believable? Is Lavi's level of ability believable as well? Was the chapter amusing to read, or was it boring? Did you skip over paragraphs, or did you read through the whole way? Was the humor believable and in line with the series? Do you feel that the story is tedious, too long, or uninteresting? Who, so far, is your favorite character, between either OC or Canon? Do you think that Mag is a good audience surrogate? _

Well, that's it for now. And a big, big, BIG thanks to karina001 for helping me with the story! You've been saved from reading dribble thanks to her charitable work!

God bless you, and have fun reading!


	19. How To Badly Imitate A Fairytale

Boston is an awfully nice place to recuperate. Plenty of sun this time of year, the bay is absolutely beautiful, and the smell's not too bad once you get used to the constant stink of brine. Of course, I never got used to it, but then again I was never good at adjusting to change.

"And the two of them were transferred to Central for custody and a hearing on their reckless use of magic. So, that's the end of that!" Lavi told me cheerfully.

I'd only been half listening, my mind focused on scanning every single person outside the window for signs of being Akuma. Which is dumb. People don't show signs of being Akuma until they point guns in your face. Still, a girl could try.

"Huh? What was that?" I asked.

Lavi deadpanned and waved a hand at me. "Um… never mind. Anyway, Bookman and Kanda should be here any minute. Apparently, there have been some weird happenings up north. We'll head up to Maine to scout it out, and then you and Kanda will be headed to Montreal by yourselves," Lavi said, leaning against the little café table and making it rock.

I grasped at my hot chocolate and porridge bowl for fear they would tip over, and I made a face.

"I have to travel with him by myself?"

I groaned, thinking about all of my assorted aches and pains. I'd decided to come up with a list at the end of every mission to catalogue my wounds in the hopes that if I did that, I would manage to see some sort of progress as the list grew shorter. The current list was depressingly lengthy.

I'd broken five different ribs, fractured a few toes, dislocated a shoulder (which Lavi painfully fixed), snapped my pinkie (which was currently in a really dumb looking splint), and acquired several different bruises in various colorations. This did not include the hundreds of little cuts and scrapes I also sported. I was correct in assuming that I would look like an abused hippo the following day. A week later most of the swelling had gone down with a little medical magic, literally, and lying down with a few ice packs. Today, I looked less like dog meat and more like Maggie, albeit a very sorry looking Maggie.

"Well, look on the bright side. You won't have to talk to him," Lavi said, trying to make light of the situation.

I only sank in my chair (in a rather unladylike fashion) and continued sipping my hot chocolate.

"Oh! Before I forget," Lavi stated, standing up and patting himself down.

I looked up in surprise, raising an eyebrow as he continued to search himself as if he had a rat running amok in his clothes. Finally, he pulled out a cloth bag from a pocket and handed it to me. I gingerly picked it up, careful to keep my pinkie out of the way. It was fairly heavy, probably weighing close to a pound (it was a wonder he managed to stick it in a pocket).

"For finishing the mission in just about a week. I thought you deserved a little something," Lavi said proudly as I opened the bag.

Inside, there were five bars of different chocolates. The smell was heavenly. I took a deep breath, suddenly lost in ecstatic fantasies of eating the chocolate slowly, piece by piece, in a nice warm bath with bubbles.

And then, suddenly, I started to bawl.

The sudden devolution into crying must've thrown the redhead for a loop. If I recall correctly, he had that dumbstruck look on his face that normally accompanies a man's realization that a female was crying in his proximity.

"D-did I do something wrong? What's the matter? Don't cry, don't cry, here!" Lavi profusely apologized, his brain finally catching up to him, and falling behind all at the same time, as he handed me a hankie.

I took it and wiped my face, trying to keep some semblance of dignity. "Sorry, j-just... I don't t-take getting gifts very well."

Part of it was also the fact that it really hadn't hit me now that not only had I completed a full mission, but also that I'd probably almost died a couple of times while I was at it. I was just absolutely overwhelmed with relief that the nightmare was over. The fact I was getting a gift probably didn't help. And that the gift was chocolate…

"If I'd known you'd be so upset, I would've just let you have it in your room," Lavi said, slightly bewildered.

I sniffled, surreptitiously wiping my nose with his hankie. I was aware that several people were staring at us now, and I wanted to hide under the table. I shouldn't have lost my composure, but... chocolate.

It had been years since I'd had actual bars of chocolate. It had been a big treat when my Uncle Mickey would bring me chocolate from the far off places he'd visit on all of his trips to God knows where. My mother tried to tell him that he was making me fat, but he'd always sneak me a bar every Christmas up until he'd left the year I turned thirteen. The last time I'd had it was almost five years ago on Halloween, the week before Mickey basically disappeared.

Yet another father figure, poof. It was a reoccurring theme.

"I will have you know, chocolate is, uh, a favorite," I said, pulling myself back together.

He had a sloppy grin on his face and naughty twinkle in his eye. "Oh really? So, say I got chocolate for your birthday, and the only way you could get it -"

A bag suddenly smashed down on top of his head, sending Lavi into a tailspin out of his chair. Kanda stood behind him, looking awfully unhappy, as he grumbled, "I told you to meet me at the courthouse, you dolt."

I had to admit, for all of Kanda's faults he had impeccable timing. I could see where Lavi's brain was going, and if I had a leash for it, I'd be yanking as hard as I could manage. Luckily for me, Kanda's bag seemed to have scrambled his brains like an egg. I was fervently praying he'd forget the rest of that sentence, because I really didn't want to know what else he'd wanted to say.

"Good morning, Kanda," I said, trying for decorum.

"Shut up. I'm talking to the baka usagi," Kanda replied in his usual, charming way.

My eye twitched at the lack of manners.

If there was one thing I'd beaten into my siblings... it was manners.

As Kanda continued harassing Lavi, I picked up a spoonful of porridge and took aim. Two wrongs don't make a right, but that didn't mean it wasn't fun to try. Thank God for all those food fights I had when I was little…

A glob of porridge landed smack dab right on his forehead amid that bed of pretty dark hair. I could swear I saw a vein burst in his neck.

"I said good morning," I stated, smiling thinly. I was very aware that I was probably going to suffer in the near future, but you only live once, right?

There was a pause as the very wind seemed to hold its own breath.

Oh dear God, why did I do that? I was going to be pureed where I sat!

"Now, now, children, calm yourselves for a few moments," Bookman drawled as he sidled along side the table. Someone up top must really love me, because he put himself right between me and the murderous swordsman who looked like he was disemboweling me mentally in a variety of nasty ways.

Kanda let go of my redheaded partner and sat down with a large fwump at the table as he wiped some of the porridge out of his hair. Lavi situated himself back into his chair unsteadily, his hair mussed. I tried to straighten up, but the action nearly had me on the floor. My ribs did not appreciate being moved while healing. Bookman seated himself as well, and the surrounding people tried to keep to themselves rather unsuccessfully. I could feel eyes on us, but that could've been my normal paranoia working.

"Our next mission is, quite obviously, up north. There is a manse several miles from here that exhibits some odd disappearances. People go into the woods surrounding the manse, and they don't come back out. Those that do get close to the forest have noted that there are dozens upon dozens of broken, misused, and abandoned items such as chairs, plates, cutlery, clocks, broomsticks, et cetera. The list goes on. There are also quite a few stray dogs in the area, but there aren't enough to consider them a reason for the disappearances. Entire groups of people have disappeared near the manse, the largest being an acting troupe of fourteen strong," Bookman explained, tossing a thick dossier onto the table.

Lavi picked it up and began flipping through it.

"When do we leave?" Lavi asked as he scanned the file with a glassy eye, the regular look of a recording Bookman. The gaze was unsettling, however, and I turned my attention to his mentor. That stare tended to remind me of how fake Lavi could be.

"Preferably today, as soon as possible. We'll split into two groups. I'll go with Lavi - Kanda, you'll take Mag," Bookman stated, gesturing to me.

We looked at each other with bug-eyed stares.

"I'm not going with her."

"Over my dead body!"

"That can be arranged," Bookman mumbled sardonically.

"We're leaving her here. I'm not taking her. She looks like she's been put through a meat grinder. She wouldn't even make good bait, much less a fighting partner," Kanda argued, pointing at me.

I swatted at his finger, glaring. The two of us locked stares.

"Don't point. It's rude," I ordered.

Kanda looked like he was actually about to growl at me before Lavi interjected.

"I... kind of have to agree with Kanda at this point. Mag is in no condition to be fighting. Her ribs won't be healed for another month or so, and she can't even think about actual exercise until next week," Lavi sighed, drumming his fingers against the table.

He looked at me with a chagrined expression, and I leaned back in my chair petulantly, crossing my arms with a huff. My spine complained raucously as my ribs also submitted their thoughts on the matter of being moved.

"My point exactly," Kanda spat through my haze of pain. Bookman considered the proposition, and I looked up wearily.

"She stays. Charles is our Finder, and he'll lead us to the point of the phenomenon. We'll keep in touch with you, Magnolia," Bookman said with a tone of finality.

And with that, I was duly left behind.

* * *

"Psh, dumping me here. 'She looks like she's been through a meat grinder'! 'She won't even make good bait'! Pft. Men," I complained as I soaked in my bath.

I got my fantasy after all.

The only thing missing was the bubbles. I wiggled my toes, thinking about what the Terrific Trio must be doing by now. There was a sharp crack as one of my ribs popped exactly into place and healed, and I winced at the sharp twinge it sent through my rib cage. To help it along, I'd been given pills of various types. I'd buried some of them in my half-melted chocolate to help get it down.

I sank into the water, enjoying the warmth. It was weird that I was so mad that they left me here. After all, I'd been dreading going on the next mission considering my state. In reality I should be perfectly happy to wallow here in the steam and heat while they went off to beat back the boogie men.

But a part of me wanted to be out there helping with those same boogie men, and I wasn't sure why. I felt awfully conflicted. Another piece of chocolate found itself between my teeth as I thoughtfully chewed the subject over. My neurotic brain wouldn't let me rest. I must've been in the bath for at least an hour or two. It was amazing that it was still warm.

The hotel was nice, the bathroom complete with a claw-foot tub and shower with nice tiles and beautiful fittings. I should be absolutely euphoric right now! What was the matter with me?!

I struck the water in frustration, watching it flop and sway at the motion. So much for making waves. I leaned my head back against the rim of the tub and sighed.

"CALLING MAGGIE! CALLING MAGGIE! YOU THERE?"

I almost sloshed half the water out of the tub as I flailed in surprise. My golem fluttered near my head, practically attacking me.

"H-hang on a second, let me at least get out first, geez!" I protested, flapping a hand at the offending device as it continued to squawk.

I grabbed a towel and stepped out of the tub, noticing with a little bit of disappointment that my hair had frizzed in the heat into a massive poof ball of waves. I looked like a lollipop covered in fuzz. I wrapped myself in a towel.

"Go on, what do you want?" I asked with a sigh.

The golem stayed stationary for a little while before giving me a recorded transmission.

Wait... recorded?

"Magnolia, we may need a little, um, assistance - BOOKMAN, WATCH IT! THAT'S MY HEAD! - and, uh, we're going to need you, uh, ASAP! We sent - KANDA, TO THE LEFT! NO, YOUR LEFT, NOT MINE! - Charles to go and get you, so be ready to leave - HOLD IT STILL SO I CAN -"

The transmission suddenly cut out, and I was left standing there, dripping, feeling like someone had transplanted Antarctica into the vicinity of my stomach. With my thoughts roiling, I quickly changed into my uniform as best as I could manage with my wounds.

It was a little loose on me, a fact Lavi had interpreted as me losing weight. I wasn't quite sure how to feel about that. The only thing I had going for me was a voluptuous figure bordering on chubby, and even that I was about to lose.

I smoothed my hair down as I shook out my bracelets, trying to think of what they could possibly want me for. They'd told me that they'd sent Charles, our Finder, to me, but I had no idea when he'd arrive. The boys had left around nine this morning, and I'd started my bath around eleven. They'd only been gone two hours, and it was supposed to take them an hour to get to the manse, so Charles couldn't possibly -

Just my luck, there happens to be a knock at the door. Speak of the devil.

I opened the door, looking at Charles' bashful face. He was fairly young, hardly out of his twenties. He still had a little baby fat, and my mother instinct immediately kicked in. His hair was a mess, and his cheeks were ruddy, so he must've ridden like the wind.

"I 'em 'ere to escort you to ze manse, mademoiselle," Charles said with a very prominent French accent, and I tried to curb my dread.

My intuition was warning me the boys were probably in a heck of a lot of trouble, or that they were about to be. I didn't like either prospect because that meant I was either their sole hope or their Achilles' heel. I nodded, grabbed my bag, and we headed out the door.

After an hour of riding into the forests around Boston, Charles drew reign and nervously held out his hand. He said, "Mademoiselle, pleeze be extremely careful. Z'ere are... dogs."

He said the last word as if he were talking about man-eating hydras with clowns for heads. I rolled my eyes at his over dramatics and I urged my horse forward unsteadily. The equestrian arts had never been part of my repertoire…

"What's the matter with dogs?" I asked quietly.

We'd turned on to a trail leading deeper into the forest, and I could no longer see the road through the trees. Things were steadily getting darker, despite the fact it was almost noon. Then again, I'd read in the local paper that as of late it had been very rainy. It looked like clouds were blotting out the sky, which didn't help my paranoia as I jumped at shadows.

Charles was oddly quiet, and my 'mother sense' could immediately tell he was hiding something. I turned my matronly gaze on him, narrowing my eyes slightly.

He squirmed in his seat, biting his lip, before he admitted, "I 'em... much afraid of ze dogs, miz. Er, I, uh... came to you zo fast becauz I, um... was dizmizzed."

I blinked. That would explain how he managed to beat me to the door.

"Oh. Well, why didn't you just say so?" I asked, continuing onwards -

CRACK.

I frowned as my horse nearly threw me at the loud noise, and I yelped as I hung on for dear life. After soothing my horse into some sort of stillness, I hopped down, searching the ground for the source of the noise. Had I just heard the sound of a plate breaking? Sure enough, a broken china dish lay on the ground where my horse had stepped on it.

"We are cloze,"Charles said, moving his horse forwards past me.

I stared at his back pensively. It was odd he was so eager to go out there, because the hairs on my arms were standing up. For some reason, I felt there was something very wrong about seeing a plate in the middle of a forest. It just seemed forlorn. I clambered back onto my horse as gracefully as I could manage, and we continued.

The dossier information was fairly accurate. Pretty soon, I was seeing discarded grandfather clocks, chipped cups, wine glasses snapped at the stems, forks half-buried in the ground, spoons bent in half, cutlery buried in trees, various cleaning utensils lying in disuse... It was driving me mad seeing all this mess. I hated to see domestic ware in such ill repair. There was so much I could actually use out here if you just gave it a nice buff and shine.

"Psssst!"

I turned my head, looking for the source of the noise.

"Maggie. Pssst!"

I looked to Charles, and asked, "Hey, did you... hear anything just now?"

The Finder looked around and gave a helpless shrug. I sighed and began to nudge my horse when I heard a loud, "Maggie, you're deaf, blind, and fat!"

Okay, that voice was familiar. I dropped off my horse for what felt like the umpteenth time, and brandished both discuses.

"Lavi, that's not funny! You nearly gave me a heart attack!" I shouted into the forest.I waited several more minutes before I got a slightly muffled reply.

"Well, you might want to sit for this one, then, because you're just about standing on top of me."

I looked down, and...found the culprit... of the insults happened to be... a...

… A candlestick... holder? What the heck...?

I left my mouth agape as a small clock shuffled to its side, a good couple of inches shorter than his compatriot. The candlestick was a two-pronged affair with a single, thick holder that branched off into two distinct 'arms' holding vela candles that were lit. The filigree work was nicely done, oddly wrought to look like feather pens, and it was a burnished red-bronze. And, somehow, it could talk.

The clock was a miniature grandfather clock, its face done in very small roman numerals and a few other dials denoting the alignment of planets and position of the moon. Oddly enough, that created the illusion that the dials were actually eyes. It had a short pendulum and mother-of-pearl inlay, a very expensive (if old fashioned) clock. And it... too... could talk...? I had to rub my eyes a little bit as it rocked around to look at the candlestick.

"She has terrible hearing for an Exorcist. I thought you were supposed to be training her?" the clock grumbled.

"I have been!" the candlestick retorted. "She heard me the first time! She just couldn't see me."

"You... You are ZINGS!" Charles shrieked girlishly, falling off his horse in order to crouch and look at the two. I knelt down in a daze, staring at them. How did this... even...?

"Yeah, I kind of already figured - HEY HEY! NOT COOL, PUT ME DOWN!"

I turned Lavi upside down, looking him over. He looked exactly like a candelabra, yet he somehow managed to exude some sort of... Lavi-ness. I knew perfectly well that it was him, just he was kind of... well, a candlestick holder. He pin-wheeled his little arms, protesting loudly.

"I don't like being manhandled!" Lavi shrieked, and I finally set him back on his fee- ... well, base. He hopped backwards away from me and grumbled, "Sheesh, got smashed by a bag this morning, and I've got people picking me up and turning me upside down..."

The clock, which I assumed was Bookman, chortled quietly. He swung his pendulum pensively back and forth as he seemed to start thinking about something.

I finally asked, "What happened to you two? And where's Kanda?"

"Yez, vere iz Monsieur Kanda?" Charles asked in a distracted tone, still staring at both of the Exorcists-turned-domestic-household-items.

"Well, to answer your first question, there is most definitely an Akuma near the manse. And its special ability is to turn people into... er, objects. Logically, it prefers the breakable type," Bookman explained.

"We only managed to keep our ability to talk and move because Bookman was able to cast a spell before the transformation was complete. I didn't think he had anything for this sort of situation..." Lavi mused, and Bookman gave the clock equivalent to a shrug, a lifting the top corners of his body.

"It is best to always be prepared."

I slapped my forehead. Great. That didn't explain what had happened to Kanda, though...

"And Mr. Grouch-"

"MADEMOISELLE, LOOK OUT!"

I found myself hauled to my feet as a number of dogs suddenly raced past us. Charles, having had enough at this point with the dogs, immediately hopped aboard his horse, and cowered from the baying hounds. I was less blinded by fear and more reassured by experience as I realized that the dogs were not running towards us, but running away from something else. I scooped up both Lavi and Bookman hastily before trying to climb aboard my horse.

However, that also involved holding both people-turned-items to my chest, which was followed by many a raunchy comment. I came this close to leaving Lavi behind.

"Say one more thing about the color of my brassiere, and I will personally bend you into a pretzel," I seethed as I spurred my horse forwards after the dogs.

Whatever it was that was after them, I didn't want to meet it. Charles reluctantly followed me, and we overtook the dogs ;however, we were beginning to run out of road. It was starting to look more like a trail instead, and I was worried about my horse. I wasn't sure if he'd make it in a wet slop of a trail. It was supposed to rain soon, and if we ended up in the mud, he might break an ankle and send me flying.

"I zink... ze zing iz gone, now," Charles panted as we brought our horses to a halt. The sun was already blotted out, and I realized that the rainy forecast was bound to come true soon. I didn't fancy being caught out in a squall.

"Good. We can focus on finding the manse," I prioritized.

"It's just down this trail. It's fairly wide and mostly dirt track. We managed to reach the manse, but then we ended up fighting the Akuma," Lavi explained. He shifted in his spot inside of my bag, making himself more comfortable, and Bookman complained rather loudly.

"You're setting your candles on top of my head, idiot apprentice! If you're not careful, you'll drip wax all over me! I'll be damaged!" Bookman snapped, and Lavi groaned.

"Gramps, you'll be fine. My candles will not cause any damage, I swear. Besides, what's it matter? You're going to be turned back into a human anyway."

"As is the case with most spells of this nature, however, any damage incurred in this state will somehow transfer to my human state. I do not wish to have a large waxy spot on my head! I have enough wrinkles and liver spots as it is, watching you run around."

"Oh, and if I manage to cut off half a candle, I'll be missing a few fingers?"

"We can test that theory."

I rolled my eyes as I urged my horse forward.

"Boys, boys, enough. Please, if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all," I ordered, towering over them. They begrudgingly fell silent. Within ten minutes we were at the manse, a massive dilapidated house that looked more like a castle. I was starting to get a feeling of dejavu…

"Does anyone feel like they're trapped in a bad fairytale?" I asked under my breath, but nobody answered.

At the front steps I jumped off my horse with my teammates in their bag, and I gave Charles the reins to my horse.

"Here, you can go and stable the horses," I said in a distracted tone as I looked up at the manse. Charles reluctantly left, and I started up the stairs to the front door.

"Alright, start telling me what happened," I suggested.

Overhead, thunder rumbled ominously. I didn't fancy getting wet, so I entered the dank house. It was exactly what I expected - dark, wet, and rotting. All sorts of knickknacks littered the foyer and a grand staircase, and I activated both discuses. From what I'd read of the dossier, it was a very large manse with three wings: north, south, and west. The kitchens were in the back, and most of the bedrooms were upstairs. It even came with a ballroom. Whoever had owned this house had had some serious moolah.

"Well, we rode here around the middle of the morning, and we had to send Charles back because of the dogs. After that we encountered an Akuma, and it left behind all this dust. It was fast, I remember that much. I think it even sliced Kanda a bit. The old man had already recognized what was going on, and he cast this movement spell. Now, we're candlesticks and clocks. Ta-da! By the by, does anyone else notice the weird dejavu I'm getting? Seriously, I feel like this is all familiar," Lavi recounted quietly, his words echoing in the dusty silence of the manse.

"That's what I thought, too. Sort of feels like -" There was a sudden creaking noise from above, cutting off my answer. I stopped, looking around and on guard.

"Creeeepy," Lavi muttered.

"Quiet, apprentice. Do you want to attract attention?" Bookman hissed.

"You're the one whispering loud enough for the entire house to hear you," Lavi muttered.

I shifted my bag over my shoulder as I walked deeper into the house. It was getting dark quickly, and the thunderstorm brewing over my head didn't help matters. I could imagine seeing right through the house's ceiling from the holes into the other floors above me. To my frazzle imagination, I could just about see the sky through the gaps!

"It... looks livable, at least. We can stay here for the night, I guess. I don't fancy riding back in the rain," I whispered to the two in my bag.

"That seems most wise. I don't want to get wet. Water warps wood," Bookman noted.

"And metal isn't friends with water either," Lavi fretted, rubbing his 'hands' together. It was kind of chilly in here. Lucky, Lavi's flames were somewhat warm, but that also led to the question of whether his flames could burn things or not.

Wait a minute... if everyone was turned into silverware and plates and clocks and all of those things... my mind wandered to the fact my horse had stepped on a plate, and my stomach turned.

I'd just crushed someone! I killed somebody! I'd snapped them clean in half! My blood ran cold as it dawned on me that I might've murdered somebody!

"Oh god," I breathed.

And I swear that it was on cue. From behind, something tackled me to the ground, sending us through a hole in the floor to the basement.

All I could really think was 'why me? Again?'

I hit a pile of springs and cushions, screaming and sending up a cloud of dust as I tangled with my adversary. Lavi and Bookman shouted protests as I rolled around, nearly crushing them in my bag, as I tried to get the upper hand on the dark monster that had sent me tumbling. It was pitch black, and the only glow came from the little light reflecting off my discuses. I finally separated, skirting around the pile of couch guts.

"Maggie, remember what I taught you," Lavi said, sounding a touch nervous. "It's just the dark. You don't need eyes to fight."

I took a deep breath as I waited, a low growling reverberating in the air. A blacker blur across the sea of dark burst towards me, and I swung my bag away as I used my other hand to try and catch the monster with a disc to the head. It yelped as it skidded across the floor, and I silently congratulated myself on a fluke hit.

And then, I was blindsided just as soon as I'd finished giving myself some kudos.

I lay flat on my back, pinned by something that seemed half-human, half-beast, claws around my wrists as hot breath washed over my neck, the points of fangs lightly digging into my neck just above my jugular. I could feel the vein bulge against teeth as I shook, realizing that I was about to be disemboweled violently and painfully. My stomach twisted, but nothing happened. We remained at a stalemate, the monster's jaws around my neck as I was tensed for a getaway in case an opening presented itself.

I was praying that God would produce a miracle, like a random lightning bolt from the sky, or a mariachi band suddenly blasting the demon away with some amazing trumpet playing.

Even in the midst of my imminent demise, I could imagine the oddest of scenarios. It was how I stayed sane.

The respite lasted for about five more seconds. The fangs suddenly removed themselves from their poised position over my jugular, and a soft voice that was part growl and part whisper asked, "Mag?"

I let my eyes adjust to the dark, noting the cat-eyed twin reflections staring back at me as narrow slits. However, as soon as the light shifted, the eyes were hidden by the dark. The voice was familiar, and so was the rough manhandling. I wasn't exactly a stranger to being thrown on my back either.

"Shifu?" I asked. I might as well play it safe. If I called him Grouchface, he'd be much more inclined to remove my jugular whether I was a friend or not.

"Oh! We didn't recognize you in the dark. You were already in the manse? Sheesh, you could've given us a heads up or something," Lavi said somewhere in the dark.

Kanda gave his usual 'che', though it came out more of a snort. "You were taking too long."

"I'm hopping around on what amounts to being a giant foot! Cut me some slack! I wasn't about to let you carry me around in your mouth, either. I don't know where that's been."

The weight disappeared as Kanda bounded off back to the mountain of fluff and metal. A ray of light seemed to realize that this was its cue, and it lightly showered over Lavi, Bookman, and Kanda. Somehow, the two Exorcists-turned-household-objects had bounded their way out of my bag and towards the cushion pile, and Kanda was sitting on top of it.

I stared at him a while longer as he straightened himself out. I'm pretty sure my jaw was somewhere near the floor.

As if to keep up with the theme... Kanda was a... well...

A dog.

Huh. How fitting.

"I like the new look," I noted sardonically.

Kanda swung his head towards me, lifting a single eyebrow. He was covered in shaggy fur, pitch black save for a gray patch over the right side of his chest, and he had an odd mix of human limbs and dog posture, with his legs more dog-like and his arms more man-like. There was a large gash along his right flank as well as his head (the latter being a courtesy of yours truly ), and I nearly laughed when I saw that he had a tail. He had docked ears that stood up from his head, turning this way and that as he listened to the creaking of the house. His Exorcist uniform hung loosely in some places and tight in others. It suddenly made me wonder what had happened to Lavi and Bookman's uniforms…

"Up," Kanda growled painfully, nodding his head towards the top of the basement hole.

As if materializing from thin air, Charles stuck his head into the hole, took one look at Kanda, and screamed like a little girl before running away. Kanda rolled his eyes before stiffly climbing up a few boards to get out. I got up, noting that my splinted pinkie was throbbing like a bass drum being beaten by an angry three year old. I picked up Lavi and Bookman, and we climbed out of the hole the same way.

"Charles! Charles! You can come back! It's Kanda! There's nothing to be afraid of!" Bookman shouted.

For a clock, he had some surprising volume. And I don't think even I would've believed that last sentence.

"Is it just me, or does Kanda look a little... hurt?" I asked Lavi as I put them both down.

Bookman was already hopping away from us towards the grand staircase where Kanda was lying down, and Charles peeked in from the rafters cautiously. How did he even get up there?

"The transformation spell that gave us some movement also gave Kanda human qualities, but it hasn't really taken very well. Not all of his limbs and body parts coincide correctly, so his anatomy's a little screwed up. He's probably really uncomfortable, especially in that uniform. I'd help him get it off and all, but..." Lavi explained, a note of lecherousness and general mischief in his voice as he waved his candlestick hands at me. I narrowed my eyes and shoved him over, which wasn't hard.

"Ow! Hey!"

I couldn't help but feel a little bit of pity for Kanda. He really did look fairly miserable, though it was kind of hard to tell considering he had a muzzle, and the only things that I recognized were his voice and eyes. It started to rain all of a sudden, and a torrent of water dropped smack dab on top of him, drenching him immediately.

There was no denying now that he looked miserable. He seriously looked like a wet, kicked puppy.

"Is there a bathroom around here?" I asked Lavi wearily, my back and shoulders starting to hurt from landing on those springs and rolling around in the basement. Not to mention I couldn't stand seeing Kanda look this uncomfortable. He was usually just a butt.. Now he looked like an abused dog.

Probably because he was an abused dog.

"I think there's a bathroom that still works in the west wing of the house. It did whenever I used it about two hours ago. Why?" Lavi asked. I picked him up, despite his protests, and carried him over to the stairs.

"Kanda needs a bath, that's why," I sighed.

He was absolutely filthy. He was covered in both blood and mud, and he probably needed to get his uniform coat off. However, he just looked up at me from his puddle of misery and glared.

"No baths," he ground out.

I frowned. So we were doing this routine, were we? Well, I'd have him know that I'd forced more than one kid to take a bath, so he wasn't going to be my first nor would he be the last.

"Yes, bath," I stated. "You're going to get an infection, and you're going to get sick in those wet clothes. Not to mention you stink like wet dog, and I'm not going to be holding my nose this entire trip. Charles! Get down from there and help me!"

Charles, of course, did not come down as I asked. If anything, he managed to wedge himself tighter in the rafters. Kanda, of course, refused to budge. He started to lumber away on both hands and feet while Bookman sidled along side me as best he could with his little wedge feet.

"You will need to take drastic measures to get him in any sort of presentable state," Bookman sighed.

"Kanda's not exactly open to bath time with Maggie. I, on the other hand, wouldn't mind having bath time with..."

"Lavi, I have no problem dropping you down the stairs."

"Behaving! I'm behaving!"

Meanwhile, Kanda was desperately trying to worm his way out of his uniform coat and shirt, but he didn't look like he was having much luck. I sat on the banister of the stairs, watching him get more and more frustrated. In fact, all of us were kind of amused to watch him sway around almost drunkenly in his attempt to take his clothes off with only his teeth.

"So, tell me about the Akuma," I said in a distracted tone. Man, he'd smacked that table none too gently…

"Oh, it's rose shaped, and its special ability is obviously turning people into objects. It uses dust. Ouch! He knocked himself a good one. I didn't think anyone could hit themselves in the head that hard," Lavi professed, both our eyes tracking the stubborn Exorcist-dog.

"It moves using roots, but it's deceptively fast - that man has no idea when to quit. He nearly gave himself a broken leg - Anyhow, it is very childish, which works in our favor and works against us at the same time. It's very easy to anger, which makes it a sloppy fighter, but it is also very unpredictable. Along with its dust and pollen, it also has spikes," Bookman keyed me in, and I nodded, half-listening.

I winced as I watched Kanda fall over backwards as he tripped on a chair. His jacket and shirt were ripped, but they still refused to come off.

"Should we help him?" I asked hesitantly.

Lavi gave me a look.

"We? What 'we', exactly, are you talking about?" he asked in dry tones, and I stared at the ceiling with dismay.

I guess it was up to me. I was the only willing volunteer with hands.

"Come here, you big, furry lump," I said, grabbing him by the collar.

He gave me a harsh glare, but he was panting from exertion. Sheesh, who knew clothes could be such a work out?

"I'll help you out on one condition," I stated.

He narrowed his eyes. "What?"

"You have to take a bath."

"Not this again! No baths!"

"Do you want these to come off?" I asked seriously, staring him in the eye.

He growled in my face, and I very abruptly smacked him across the muzzle. He gave me a surprised look, and I myself even started at the sudden turn to violence. I guess because he looked more dog than human, I identified with my dog training skills. After all, Tip was dense as a brick. It took a lot of hitting, spray-bottling, and doggie-treats to train that monster. It was my first instinct.

"Come on, now," I said, yanking him by the collar gently.

Surprisingly, he followed along, for the most part, though he did snap at my hand. From behind, I could hear Lavi 'clip-clop'ing, and Bookman was making wooden thunk-thunking noises as he went along. I let them get ahead of me so that they could lead us to the washrooms.

Behind me, I could hear the sounds of the wind howling. I frowned as I felt eyes on me, but I kept walking. It was probably nothing.

* * *

It hung about the rafters of the house, its tendrils winding around the posts of the manse. It shivered as the rain cascaded down, filling the wood with life-sustaining water. Though it didn't need water, it was the most delicious thing it had ever tasted. The roots dug deeper into the wood, listening quietly for footsteps.

...Newcomers. It had seen newcomers, and it had turned them into objects, just as the Earl had instructed it. But once... just once... it wanted to see the fairytale play out. It wanted to know the fairytale was real. It would make it real…

"Don't worry, I'll go easy on you. And don't think about running off - I've caught Tip more times than I can count," the woman said.

She had brown hair, too. She had a nice, soothing voice. And she was wearing pants - a free spirit, just like the fairytale.

And then, the beast with her... half man, half dog...yes... This time the story would play out. This time, the fairytale would come true.

"Yeah, well, Tip won't bite you. I will."

"I'd like to see you try."

It curled around the rotting bones of the house, watching quietly.

It would have its "Beauty and the Beast"…

* * *

**A/N:** I've finally managed to churn out another chapter! I hope you enjoy this next installment of 'The Art of War'.

So far, though, it doesn't look like we've had either new followers or favoriteers in our midst.

Therefore, I'll get on with the questions: _Do you like the themed 'gag' of the next few chapters? What parts made you laugh? Are there any conjectures you can make regarding any of the characters, Mag and co. included? Do you enjoy the story at all? Why? Is the point of view too descriptive, or not descriptive enough? Who are your favorite characters, either canon or otherwise?_

Well, that's all for now folks. God bless you, and happy reading!


	20. How To Give Werewolves A Bath

It took me a good hour to get the bath water ready. Whilst Kanda sulked in a corner, I was lugging buckets of cold water from the bath tap to a massive fireplace that was probably in the bathroom for this very purpose.

I paused from my work to wipe my forehead and examine the bathroom.

It was pretty, or it might've been if we could get rid of the cobwebs, rotting woodwork, and disgusting slime mold that looked like it might gain sentience any minute. The tiles were chipped and the grout was falling out, but I could still see that they were a pure white under the dirt. The claw-foot tub was massive, definitely big enough to fit Kanda in his current, ahem, doggy state. I'd already swept out the dirt and whatever was left was taken care of by the deluge from the tap. I was surprised the water still worked here, but I guessed that they must get their water from an underground aquifer. The curtains were moth eaten, but the material looked like it had been expensive. All together, the room was maybe ten by six feet, the biggest bathroom I'd ever set foot in.

"When was this house abandoned?" I said to Lavi who was perched on a short tabletop next to me.

"The dossier says about ten to twenty years ago," he answered, watching me as I tended the fire. With his help, I'd gotten the fire as big as I wanted it. Also with his help, I'd almost had all the hair on my arms and what was left of my eyebrows removed involuntarily. I looked back at Kanda, and my heart panged. He tried hard to hide it, but I could see that his awkward limbs were in a lot of pain.

"What's the matter, Maggie?" Lavi asked. "You worried?"

I looked down at his candle holder form, and I winced internally. I should be worried about him, too. I mean, yeah, being a dog was a pretty crappy situation, but Lavi was an inanimate object. Life is already hard enough being an Exorcist, there was no need to add to it.

I took a deep breath.

"Yeah, but I'm a worrier. It's a given. How are Bookman and Charles doing with the wood?" I asked.

I'd sent them on a mission to fetch me some fuel to feed the fire. That was more to keep them busy than anything else. Bookman needed no distractions, but Charles acted like he was going to be torn apart by dogs every time he put a foot down. He spent a lot of his time on top of chairs or in high places. I couldn't blame him. I'd watched a few of those wild dogs rip apart a poor bunny rabbit from a window.

I had no idea that rabbits could scream. I was proved horribly, horribly wrong.

"Want me to check?" Lavi asked, and I nodded.

He hopped off the table and out the door, and I watched him forlornly, suddenly feeling very alone. Bookman was supposed to be giving me a sort of plan to investigate the rest of the premises when he got back, so I was kind of anxious for him to get here. This house not only gave me the creeps, but it also made me want to clean incessantly. I couldn't stand so much mess. I was going insane from all of the crockery lying around. And the knowledge that they were all people...

I kept my mind off that subject, especially because I didn't know if this bucket was an original part of the house or a person-turned-object. And seeing as it was over a fire, it was doubly worse.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry," I whispered to the bucket as I hauled it off the fire and to the bath tub.

I dumped it quickly, realizing the bath was half full. That should be good enough. I put a finger in, and it wasn't too hot. Unless he was going to be a baby about it, Kanda was just going to have to deal with the fact his water was just a tad hot. Why did he suddenly sound like such a child...?

"Hey," I said, trying to get his attention.

He turned his eyes to me without moving his head, and I put a hand on my hip, sighing.

"So?" I asked, and he groaned.

He started to haul himself to his feet, but his right leg, the one that looked like someone had taken a peeler to it, buckled. I rushed forward out of motherly instinct (which in hindsight was a bad idea considering he was probably a good two hundred and something pounds to my one hundred and thirty), but a quick growl stopped me.

"I can do it myself," he growled, and I let him have it.

I wasn't going to mess with him. He had more teeth than I had fingers, and he could probably sit on me if he wanted. Of course, I don't know why he didn't just do that if he was so against taking a bath. I guess even he had a sense of decorum. It's awfully rude to sit on a woman.

"Well, before you get in, let me get these off of you and hang them. I'll wash them later," I said, tugging the lapel of his coat.

He shrugged and stopped, allowing me to start unbuttoning the coat. Sheesh, Komui had done a good job with the stitches. The buttons hadn't even popped off, even though they looked like they wanted to scream from the strain they were being put through.

I managed the first three before Kanda suddenly spoke.

"Why are you doing this?"

I looked at him, surprised. He isn't exactly talkative. In fact, I think this was the first time in a while I'd heard him say something that didn't have to do with my intelligence (or lack thereof), weight (overabundance of), and my ability (once again, the lack thereof). I frowned, realizing I had no idea what to say. I kept my eyes fastened on the shiny silver buttons of his coat, unable to look at his face. I couldn't read it anyway - he was a dog. Have you ever tried to figure out what a dog's thinking from their facial expression? No? Then you and I are in the same boat.

"I... I guess because I can't stand to see you in pain. A hot bath will help with... these," I said, gesturing to his lopsided proportions.

He was quiet again, and I started to pull off the jacket. Everything was going well so far, until I tried to yank off one sleeve. He growled at me suddenly and, startled, I stepped backwards and smashed my spine into the tub.

"Gently," Kanda instructed painstakingly.

I took a deep breath, trying to rearrange my thoughts and my vertebrae. He scared me more than I thought. I couldn't keep my eyes off those teeth. I began to gently remove the jacket, and I saw that his left arm was soaked in blood. I frowned, eyeing the matted blood. It was tacky, so that meant he'd been bleeding for several hours.

"How long ago did that happen?" I asked. Right now it was probably around three 'o clock or so.

"How am I supposed to know?" Kanda grumbled, unhappy and defensive.

I put up my hands in a 'don't bite off my head!' motion.

"Just... it's a little weird. Usually your wounds heal after a few hours. I... I saw that when we were in the Himalayas," I explained, and he just stared at me with dark eyes.

Growling gently, he offered his other sleeved arm. I started to tug that one off then moved on to the shirt, and this time I was more mindful of the gash on his left arm. It was pretty well stuck, though, and it took a lot of yelping, hot water, and manhandling to get it off. Why was he forever getting injured? Couldn't he stay in one piece for longer than a few days?

"It's like when I'm around you, I'm suddenly hit by every bout of bad luck a man can get. You're the opposite of a good luck charm," he complained, and I scoffed.

Now, wait just a minute. How was this suddenly because I'm around? "That's not my fault. You should be more careful," I said.

He 'tsked' as well as he could. "Are you kidding me? I spent a month in Zimbabwe and I didn't even stub my toe," Kanda rebutted.

I picked up a rag, feeling a vein in my neck throb like an over burdened hose.

"And suddenly I show up and you look like someone put a cheese grater to you?" I muttered as he awkwardly climbed into the tub.

"Tch."

"Look, I am not some sort of bad luck charm. As far as I'm concerned, you're just reckless," I said, starting to clean out his left arm.

It was completely caked, and I didn't know if water would do any good. Forget soap - we were going to need bleach, some scissors, and heavy-duty sedatives.

"Heh, I'm reckless? You're the one who climbed a cliff to get a sword that'd fallen down the side of a mountain and stabbed yourself on it, you retard," Kanda shot back, and I slammed my rag against the side of the tub.

"Out of the kindness of my heart, thank you. At least that sort of recklessness has got its purpose," I rebutted.

"Maybe if you didn't do so much out of the kindness of your heart and think once in a while, I wouldn't be getting hurt saving that overweight sorry -"

"Leave my weight out of this! Besides, if you think my helping was such a stupid thing, why did you bother saving my life?!"

Okay, so the paunch sitting on top of my stomach is screaming indignation at being ignored, but I'm not going to sit here and be insulted! Though I had to admit he brought up a good point... But I must have, too, because he didn't say anything. He only stared at me, before suddenly cracking out into a smirk that looked more like a hungry grin. It didn't take me long to realize we were nose to nose. I could see every tooth in his mouth.

"Some recklessness has got its purpose," he said, stuffing my words back in my mouth, and I stared at him.

I went back to scrubbing. He slowly sank into the bath water as he got used to the temperature, and the water slowly began to turn the color of blood. The chunks of mud fell to the bottom, and the fire in the fireplace warmed the room despite the thunder and lightning that occasionally flashed outside of the window.

"You are an idiot," he said.

I didn't answer. I wasn't about to feed that fire. Especially since my fuel of choice would be kerosene. Go ahead, insult me to my face why don't you?

"But I guess sometimes we need idiots," he finished.

I looked up at him from my sulky scrubbing. He looked at me, and there was a strange look on his face, but again, dog face, impossible to read. Heck, even his human face is nigh impregnable.

"We heard yelling. Are you okay?" Lavi suddenly said.

We turned at the same instant to look at the intruder, and Lavi glanced back and forth between us. How he did this, I don't know. He doesn't really have eyes per se. It just felt like it. I'm going with my gut feeling here.

"Yeah. We're fine," I said as I looked at Kanda, his fur gleaming in the light of the fire like greased porcupine quills. Ew.

"Well... alright. Charles, Bookman, and I found a bedroom down the hall and to the left of that old music room we found earlier, and it's still got the bed in it, so we're going to hide out there for the night. We've got a fire going, so whenever you guys are ready we'll be there. Bookman'll brief you on everything when you're done," Lavi said. He gave us a weird look before hopping off.

"What was that about?" Kanda muttered under his breath.

He probably thought I couldn't hear it, but I have 'mom' ears. I hear everything.

Well, everything but Akuma. I'm not sure why they don't register on my 'hearing range'. Probably because I don't want to hear them.

"Beats me," I answered back.

His ears pressed flat against his head in apprehension, and he sank lower into the bath water. It was seriously disgusting now. If someone asked me to drink it for a million bucks, I'd give him a walking stick and tell him to take a hike.

"Now, let me get the back of your neck and your ears, and you can get out. This is nasty," I said, and Kanda narrowed his eyes at me.

He let out a low whine, and I gave him my best motherly stare. Here we go again.

"You get to master me in training. I get to master you in bath time. It's only fair," I reasoned, and he made to get out of the tub.

I grabbed him by the shoulders, trying to haul him back into the tub, but he was stronger than I was. Mother instinct could only go so far. Still, I was pretty heavy, and I managed to hang on to him.

"Oh no you don't-"

"Let go of me!"

"Look, it'll take just a second!"

"I didn't even need a bath to begin with!"

Somehow, with all the jostling and my attempts with the spare bucket of water to dump water over his head, I ended up falling face first into the water. My legs kicked in the air for a second before landing on something wet and furry as my head hit the front of the tub with a thump. I saw stars, along with chunks of mud and bubbles, before I spluttered to the surface.

"Now look what you did!" I whined.

"If you hadn't fought with me in the first place, you wouldn't have ended up wet," Kanda stated, his face completely dead pan.

"If you hadn't fought with me in the first place, we both could've been dry by now," I sighed.

I tried to stand up, and instead I stepped on something vaguely tail like. As if to confirm my suspicions, Kanda's yelp was so high pitched I thought the dogs outside were going to yowl. My feet left the bottom of the tub as the tail was ripped from under me. I only had a few seconds to think this through, though, because I fell straight on top of someone who smelled like wet dog.

Besides, if his tail had been ripped from under me, shouldn't I have gone backwards, not forwards? I felt like I was living in a bad romance novel. I would know. I've read plenty of them.

And then my day just had to keep getting better.

As if to add insult to injury, Charles decided it would be a good time to check up on us and make sure we hadn't killed each other.

Well, we definitely didn't look like we were trying to kill each other.

We practically tore the tub in half as we flew to opposite ends while Charles stared open-mouthed.

"This can all be easily explained, and it's definitely not what you think," I said.

Kanda sure wasn't going to say anything.

Charles left with a wave of both his hands and some French mutterings. I could swear I heard something about 'beast' and 'unnatural unions'. I didn't want to think too hard about that. I dragged a hand over my face. I wondered what other sort of atrocities I was going to commit in the next twenty four hours.

I heard the slosh of water, and Kanda started to shake. It was worse than being in a hurricane. The fire popped and hissed as water hit the logs, and I tried to get out of the tub, with some success.

"Don't. Touch. Me," Kanda commanded, and I was only too happy to oblige.

Bath time was over.

* * *

"All in all, the house is mostly deserted. I have seen some rather odd markings on some of the walls, especially in the ballroom, but other than that, I have nothing else to report. In the morning we shall investigate further, and if we do not find anything, we'll go back into town for supplies," Bookman said, his gravelly voice made even rougher by the fact his voice sounded as if it were being created using cogs and ticks.

I played with a piece of wood, considering the plethora of information I'd just had crammed into my brain. I leaned against the wall of the bedroom with an exasperated sigh.

The house was abandoned sometime in the mid 1800s, mostly due to the owner dying of a broken heart. It sounded like something out of a poorly written dime novel, except this story didn't have a happy ending. The rich owner had the manse built for his wife and daughter, both who loved mystical, fairy tale type things. That explained why this manse was so fantastical (I'd probably seen sixteen unicorn friezes, along with a couple of phoenixes, and some picturesque music rooms with sadly rotting instruments who'd probably like to be played, except they'd fall to pieces if they were). At some point, both daughter and mother died, leaving the owner to his house full of memories that he'd built specifically for them. He fell asleep one night, and he never woke up again. Talk about a quitter.

"Oh! Before I forget...We also found zis," Charles said, handing over an ornate book. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Kanda about to grab for it with one massive paw. Oh no, he isn't!

I made sure to take it before the dog-man could put a hand out, and the two of us shared a heated glare. I wanted to be sure that we had no more awkward moments. That included, but was not limited to, accidental hand touching, stereotypical swooning and falling at the first sight of danger, eating off the same plate on accident (especially if it has anything to do with spaghetti), accidentally stripping in front of each other, and any possible one night stands; though I honestly doubted that there was any compulsion to do so considering my state of anger and his state of physical being.

Weirder things have happened, though, so I wasn't going to exclude it.

"What's so significant about it?" I asked.

"It's untouched. Everything else in the house is falling apart, but the book was in pretty good shape. It's been handled recently. We've also been interrogating the other members of the house," Lavi said, crossing his candle-holder arms.  
I glanced at him with an incredulous stare, along with Kanda and Charles. Lavi shifted uncomfortably.

"I can still talk to the other household objects! They're... a little nuts after so many years of inactivity and loneliness, but they're still mostly sane. Don't judge me! I have a gift, obviously," Lavi explained, and I decided not to press the issue.

Bookman didn't have the same bent.

"You didn't tell me you could talk to other objects," Bookman growled, and Lavi tried to shrink, despite the fact he's metal and a little less malleable than he normally would've been.

Meanwhile, I started inspecting the book I'd just been handed. Huh, well what do you know? It had a lock on it.

"Well, I didn't know if it was relevant or not," Lavi whined.

"Of course it's relevant, you idiot!" ]

"I'm sorry, but he's got a point," I muttered to Lavi as he tried to escape his older compatriot's wrath.

I winced as I heard the whine of wood screeching on metal. I sighed, shaking my head at their shenanigans. Kanda grunted as he made himself at home on the old, threadbare mattress sitting on a slump of metal rods that I think was supposed to be a bed frame.

This lock looked an awful lot like Violet's diary lock.

I was a bad big sister. I frequently invaded her privacy. Of course, it almost saved her life once, but I still remember feeling massively guilty. That didn't stop me from peeking every now and again at her private thoughts. Once she called me a... to put it lightly, a female dog covered in excrement that couldn't have relations if I'd been covered in pheromones. I'd just ratted her out to Mom, and Mom actually disciplined her for once.

"Just... just hang on a moment! Let me tell you what they said!" Lavi protested, using me as a human shield where I sat by the fireplace, drying myself after my impromptu bath. I raised my arms trying to look for his little candle holder body, but he'd already zipped around to one of my legs. Bookman jumped and landed right on my leg.

"Ow! Careful!" I said before something shiny caught my eye. I frowned as I looked at the source of the shininess, a flap on the underside of the book I was examining.

"Well, what did zey say?" Charles asked, his tone sweetly curious in that country French sort of way.

I could tell from his accent that he wasn't from Paris. He sounded a little like he was from Avignon or thereabouts.

"They said that there's a woman that wanders the house sometimes, and they're all terrified of her. Some of them said that one time she was slow, but she's not who she used to be. I don't know, it was all a little convoluted," Lavi said. He sat on my ankle, resting from his racing bout with Bookman.

"Not exactly a lead of any sort," Bookman grumbled deep.

I started working the shiny thing, whatever it was, out from the flap, and a small key landed in my hand. What sort of person hides the key to their diary in their diary...?

"Que c'est? Miz Mag, you have found somezing," Charles stated.

I frowned, fitting the key to the lock. Sure enough, it was a perfect match. For such an ornate book, you'd think someone would keep this hidden away somewhere. It had real gold filigree and leather engraving, the whole shebang.

"You got it, I found something. My nosiness is coming in handy," I muttered, turning the key.

It clicked ominously. I felt like this was going to be momentous. Any moment, there were going to be fireworks and an angel's choir.

"Well, open it!" Lavi ordered, urging me on.

By now, they'd all gathered around with the exception of Kanda, who'd opted to lay there and open a single eye. I took a deep breath, and I opened it.

No angel's choir. No fireworks. No white light. There was just the scrawl of a kid's handwriting on the parchment cover.

_Eliza Orwall_

"... I was kind of expecting something a little more... I don't know, expensive?" Lavi commented, staring at the page.

Charles' blonde eyebrows knit together as he looked down at the page. " Zis does not seem right. Why would such a beautifully bound book be used for somezing so trite?" Charles asked himself, fingering his chin.

There was a crack of thunder and all of us jumped a little. The fire bent and wavered next to us, throwing all of our faces into stark relief.

"I think it is time to go to bed. I'll keep the first watch," Bookman said.

"Convenient, considering you're a clock," Lavi added, and he was suddenly clocked by a flying pebble. \

I rolled my eyes as I picked up his dramatically moaning and inert form. "Come on. We're going to sleep," I sighed, gesturing for Charles to follow.

I set the book down on an end table across the room, and Lavi's candles flickered, a reaction I'd come to equate with inquisitiveness or apprehension. It was comforting to know that Lavi still had body language, no matter what form, or else I'd never know what's real and what's not.

"Wait... Mag, where will you sleep? Charles is taking the curtains, which I'm not sleeping on considering they're probably full of mites -"

"Zere are not mites! I have checked and double checked!"

"-and I don't think you want to sleep next to Kanda...unless you do, of course," Lavi said, tacking on the last part quickly.

I narrowed my eyes at him, lifting him to my eye level. "Are you implying something?" I asked.

Lavi shrugged noncommittally.

"Hey. I notice things. It's my job. And you two have been... tense since the Himalayas," Lavi said.

Tense was an awfully good word. It just wasn't in the right context. I almost cringed thinking about his meaning. I put him on the end table.

"Trust me. The only thing happening between us is a distinct feeling of hostility and hairballs. Most dogs don't like baths, and most guys don't like baths either, no offense. He's not happy with me," I muttered. "As per usual."

I flipped through the book nonchalantly, trying to keep my mind off Kanda's bad mood. It seemed like no matter what I did, he was unhappy. I honestly shouldn't mind, but I honestly tried to comply with his wishes, going so far as to call the nasty hairball 'shifu' and teaching him how to do laundry. Granted, the former action was due to a bet, but nevertheless I was patient and he now knew his whites from his brights.

"Magnolia, are you okay?" Lavi asked quietly, almost inaudibly.

"Yeah, I'm... I'm frustrated, that's all," I answered truthfully, rubbing my eyes.

A lot had gone on since we'd left the two old witches and their hideous couples' retreat, and I was still reeling from my brother's near miss. Kanda wasn't helping matters, and I felt like I should be over all this by now. I was an Exorcist, for Pete's sake! We don't have time for... for angry coworkers and injured family, and bad dreams, and-and-and inadequacy! We had an entire world to save!

"Maggie, you're breaking the table."

I let go of my white-knuckled grip on the edges of the end table.

"Sorry," I sighed.

I rubbed my wrists, where both discs shimmered in Lavi's candle light. They hadn't even been named yet. So far as we knew, they had no abilities apart from their activation. Leave it to me to completely nullify all potential in my weapon.

"Don't let Kanda get under your skin. He doesn't mean it. That's just how he is," Lavi assured me. [split off Maggies thoughts and shifted it down]

I glanced at him and shrugged.

"I know him better than most people, and he really does care, just... it's buried deep under a really huge Freudian complex. I'd tell you if I could, but that's his business. I just want you to know you're a lot better than you think you are. As Confucius says, it doesn't matter how slow you go, as long as you don't stop," Lavi encouraged, and I smiled a little.

"And don't get shot."

"That's always a good rule of thumb, no matter who says it."

* * *

I woke up to the sound of thunder. My heart raced in my chest as I wheezed in and out, and I coughed as dust filled my lungs. I waved away the cloud that had been kicked up, my hacks reverberating through the large room. Charles was still sleeping, arms around the book he'd found. He'd pored over it until the small hours of the morning, decoding the old French that was scrawled on the inside in dripping ink pen. I caught my breath as I rolled off the pile of old clothes I'd made into a bed. Lavi was taking watch this time, from what I could tell of his still silhouette next to the bedroom door. Bookman had somehow got himself on the fireplace mantle. Kanda was still asleep on the old bed he'd claimed.

That just left me, awake and feeling like I'd had someone throttle me in my dreams. For all I knew, that's exactly what happened.

I decided a walk would clear my head. I could hardly think straight. Actually, I think my thoughts were out on a vacation in Tahiti while I was left here with an empty skull. In my haste to get out of that room, which was quickly growing stuffy, I nearly tripped over Lavi.

"Whoa! Wait a minute, what? Where did... why aren't you a... aaaaaah... asleep?" Lavi stuttered and yawned.

I stared at him with a horrified expression. "You fell asleep on watch?!" I hissed.

"Hey, hey, hey, no one's missing right? No one's been killed or maimed or had a bowel movement, so no harm, no foul. Just... just keep quiet, okay? I didn't know I needed sleep either," Lavi confessed, waving his candlestick hands at me.

I rubbed the bridge of my nose.

"Oh, come on, you can't tell me you haven't fallen asleep on watch either," he argued.

"I've never taken watch."

"...Touche."

With that exchange over, I sighed and stated, "I'm going for a walk. If I don't come back in ten minutes, I probably got snuffed."

"W-wait, aren't you going to take-?!"

"The team will hardly suffer if I end up eaten by the boogeyman. Besides, I don't want to wake anyone up," I sighed.

I picked up a candle from the mantle, careful not to wake up Bookman. He snoozed comically, snoring a little with a grind of gears and the slow whir of a clock hand. His pendulum swung at a steady rate, almost like a heartbeat, and I decided not to expand on that thought. It's a little creepy thinking about being able to see someone's inner workings, especially if they're analogous to body parts.

"Light this for me. I'm not a complete idiot. I don't want to go without a light," I asked Lavi, and he reluctantly let me use one of his candles to light my own.

Light flowed over my dusty nightgown and feet, showing just how disgusting they were. I almost shivered in horror. Only Exorcist missions could get me this filthy of my own will. I was taking a three hour scrub the minute we got back to civilization.

"Mag..."

I looked back at Lavi. I'd only walked a few paces into the dark of the hall. He looked oddly lonely in his single sphere of light.

"Yeah?"

"Don't let the boogeyman get you."

"I think I can manage that."

I could feel his eyes boring into my back the entire way down the hall. It's weird how someone can lack eyes and still give that same effect.

I began walking down the hallway with a little trepidation in my step, but as my eyes began to adjust I started to feel more comfortable. I was familiar with the layout of the house by now, though I did almost fall into a few holes.

Somehow I made my way to a huge room that I figured must be a ballroom from the fancy floor and the amount of chairs just thrown everywhere. Lightning flashed, illuminating the room for a few moments through the massive windows. It was freezing in here - the windows were broken, so the cold wind blew in like it was invited to a party. My dress swirled around me, and I rubbed my arms as gooseflesh popped up like mushrooms after rain. After being in that muggy bedroom, it was refreshing.

I stared at the floor for a little while, trying to clear my mind. My feet moved slowly as I started following the pattern on the floor, a natural thing to do when my mind was busy. My entire family had this predilection towards stepping patterns while the brain was off doing its own thing. After a while I noticed that I was doing simple dance steps, bringing on an entirely new flurry of memories.

"I thought you said you wanted to be a princess?"

"I do wanna be a pwinceth. But pwincetheths need front teef."

Ugh. I forgot about how bad my lisp was when I was seven. I still can't believe I wanted to be a princess.

"No they don't. You can be a princess without front teeth. But do you know what you do need?"

"What?! But Rusthy told me I had to have front teef! What do I need to be a pwinceth? Tell me, tell me, tell me!"

"You need dancing feet."

Liar. If that's what it took to be a princess, I feel sorry for anybody with royal blood. It had to be hereditary.

"But... I dunno how to dance. Does this mean I can't be a pwinceth?"

"No, not yet. But I can teach you how to dance."

"Really?! Wait... does that mean you're a pwinceth, Uncle Mickey?"

"What?! No, no, no, just because you dance doesn't mean you're a princess, haha! Look, it's easy."

Yet another lie. Dancing was harder than the five kilometer run Kanda forced me through. I at least know where my feet go.

"Wha... this isn't easy! This is really hard! Mickey, I'm never going to be a pwinceth."

"Sure you will, Maggy-pie. You just gotta keep trying. You'll get it. You'll be the best princess the world's ever seen."

Liar liar, pants on fire.

I stopped on the third step, finding myself choked up. I just woke up one day, and he was gone. The closest thing to a father I'd ever known- just out the door. He didn't leave a letter, didn't give any warning, didn't even tell us goodbye. My mother lied to us about that, too, said 'he'd be back in the next few months', 'you know how it is with him', 'he's off to another job in the mountains', 'he'll bring something back for you and your sisters and brothers because that's how Uncle Mickey is...'

He never did come back. I should've known better than to hope, but I'm stupid that way. I really did think he might be it, the one who'd be there forever and ever. It was a good thing he didn't promise that to us either, or that'd just be another lie to add to the list. I wiped a budding tear from my eye, knowing it was stupid to cry over someone who was long gone. There was no use to practically filling a river. Once my waterworks started, there was no stopping it.

A shadow suddenly played over my feet, and I forgot about my myriad of issues.

In a flash and a yelp, I activated my weapon and backed up towards the window. Cat-eyed reflections shone ominously before Kanda stood on his hind legs, a height of nearly seven feet tall. He dwarfed me, and I felt a thrill of fear, still jittery. The light from my candle played over his fur and shadowed his eyes, leaving two shiny discs.

"Put it down already. What, you think I'd eat you? You're mostly fat anyways," Kanda growled as he wandered next to me and sat back on his haunches.

For some reason, the insult put me at ease, and I put the disc back around my wrist, reassuringly feeling the bands of metal tighten.

"Don't do that," I demanded.

"Or what? You'll smack me with your purse?" Kanda shot back.

Normally, I would've been mad, but the quip seemed to cement me to the present.

"Nightmare," Kanda muttered, a statement, not a question.

"Yeah," I admitted, rubbing my arms.

The draft was no longer refreshing. Now, it was just cold. The wind and rain continued to lash the window, and the darkness seemed impenetrable. Lightning flashed, and the forest outside lit up as if God had flipped the switch on the sun for a moment. Reflective eyes watched from outside for all of a split second, and I swallowed audibly.

"Don't worry. I'll handle them if they come in," Kanda said serenely, and I stared at him.

"Why aren't you asleep?" I asked.

It was a better question than 'why are you awake' considering I'd literally never seen him sleep. At least, not that I could rightly remember. The Himalayas didn't count, considering that was more like becoming unconscious rather than willingly going to sleep.

"Sometimes it's better not to sleep," Kanda answered cryptically, and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.

He couldn't give me a straight answer. It must not be in his programming. Still, I could understand his reasoning. We stood there for a few minutes, each of us minding our own business as the storm continued to rage outside.

"Do you ever sleep?" I asked, the quiet becoming awkward.

He looked at me with a raised eyebrow, and I knew the answer - or, rather, the implication.

"Of course," I sighed.

The wind howled, and the dogs outside howled along with it. The hair on my arms rose at attention as if they were ready to just get up and leave. I couldn't blame them, because I was about to do that myself.

Kanda suddenly joined them, a bloodcurdling howl making my blood feel like frozen cottage cheese in my veins.

He stopped, and I stared at him open-mouthed and incredulous. There was more dog in him than I thought. He noticed my fishy-fear look, and he actually looked sheepish.

"Sorry. Instinct," he only answered.

I shook my head and sat there with him.

"So... this doesn't bother you?" I asked, gesturing to the tail and the fur and the out-of-proportion limbs.

He shifted his shoulders a little, and a sick cracking noise made me wince. Dear lord, did he have firecrackers under all that fur?

"Not much," he admitted.

I was abruptly struck with a thought, and I tangled my fingers together in an effort to keep myself from sating my curiosity. Still, I owned a dog, so I was pretty knowledgeable about all of their involuntary ticks, which made me wonder...

I couldn't help myself. I surreptitiously tried to scratch behind his ears. He looked at me funny, pulling his ears back and growling a second before I started going at it.

The effect was instantaneous. He was on the ground, grumbling happily as I continued scratching with both hands. His back leg kicked, and he offered up the rest of his neck.

"I am going to kill you... after you're done... Go left. Up. Right... right there..."

"...See, I could definitely get used to this."

* * *

**A/N: **Another day, another destiny. I've had this chapter finished, finally!

And I've got the BIGGEST thank you to give. My dear karina001 betaed this entire honking thing for me, and I am tinkled so pink, Patrick Star is jealous. She has helped me so much with the style, the flow, and the grammatical side of this story, and for that I tip my hat off with a massive THANK YOU. I don't know what I'd do without you.

Well, besides write very poorly written fanfiction.

As well, thank you to the anonymous reviewer who left me that nice note! It got me started right back on the story again! Sometimes, reviews can be the tipping point to push a story back to life.

And so, I give you this latest chapter. God bless you all, and happy reading!


	21. How To Catch Corpses and Dine Politely

"Okay. I can explain."

I hung from the rafters by what seemed like a thread. One leg was wrapped around a thick beam, but that didn't stop my uniform from digging furrows into my side from the awkward position. It was stuck on a nail to the side, and I wasn't sure how long it would hold. The ground was awfully far away, and I really didn't want to become pudding.

Even from his doggy face, I could tell Kanda wasn't exactly happy about my current predicament.

"I came up and there was some funky looking dust, and I thought it might be some sort of clue and... a mouse scared me and I fell over," I croaked.

I was getting kind of light-headed. How long had I been upside down? Five minutes? Seven? My hair swung under me in a massive cloud of dusty brown frizz, and I licked my chapped lips. I could just barely see Kanda now as he paced ten feet underneath me. At the moment I was a little proud of myself. Normally I'd be freaking out.

Okay, on the inside I was freaking out. My heart was having a riot in my chest cavity and my stomach was trying to climb out of my mouth. But I wasn't about to let Kanda know that.

"Funky dust."

"Yeah."

"And... a mouse."

"Uh... yeah."

"You're pathetic. I don't even know how you got up there."

"That piano over there is surprisingly sturdy."

Suddenly, he started walking away. My eyes probably popped out of my head. I scrambled my hands towards the rafter now that what would've potentially broken my fall was walking away from me, but my arms weren't long enough.

"W-wait a second, where are you going?!"

"You got up there by yourself. You can get back down," he growled.

"But, I... Fine. A back scratch!"

I was well-versed in the art of bribery. My siblings weresome of the hardest hagglers I knew. I once got a secret out of Lily by buying her three bottles of perfume, a few rose seeds and a good amount of lemon juice. Don't ask about the lemon juice.

Now, Kanda was almost incorruptible. Almost. Everybody has their weakness. Mine was chocolate. Lavi's was good ink bottles. Bookman's was tobacco and tea.

Kanda's was back scratches and good Asian restaurants.

He stopped for a moment, his tail betraying his excitement, wagging a little. He continued walking after a pause. I rolled my eyes. I'd have to up my bid.

"Two back scratches. And an ear scratch."

His ears perked up. I was getting a little closer. He was trying to fight temptation, but he wasn't used to being given this sort of opportunity. My discovery from three nights ago was giving me an edge.

I waved a hand at him, letting it dangle. For the love of Peter, my head felt like it was about to pop off. He had better hurry up and give in. I'm pretty sure this position was neither natural nor healthy. I was going to leak blood out of my ears before long.

"Two back scratches, an ear scratch, and I'll show you that Japanese restaurant I found in Boston," I finally caved.

I'd been hoping to keep that as an ace in the hole on the off chance that we ever went back to having Torture Tuesdays, but it seemed like Kanda had spread out the torture evenly to all seven days of the week. At the very least, I would've used it against him if he'd wanted me to do the fifty-foot-pole trick again. Of all our exercise, that one made me want to tear my head off and bury myself alive.

He turned around haughtily, taking his sweet time to get to me. He was gloating, and I knew it.

Still, it didn't matter to me. I could deal with any manner of humiliation. What I couldn't deal with is the pounding in my ears and the blood practically fighting its way out of my nose from being hung upside down. Kanda sat down under me, too far out of my vision for me to see him.

"What else?"

"What do you mean, what else?" I asked.

What else could he want? My voice was getting to be strangled from the force of gravity. The top of my head was going to come off before I either fell or Kanda somehow unstuck me.

"Hair ties."

Oh. Those.

I thought about the cache of hair ties that happened to be in my hotel room in a special baggie. He kept leaving them. Kind of.I mean, they were just sitting on our hotel counter and I'd... borrowed some. And then I forgot to give them back. I was just...holding on to them for him. That was my standard argument in case he ever found out, but it looked like he'd already known. I'm a little surprised he didn't just put me at sword-point and demand them back.

"Fine. I'll give them back to you."

I decided to take a page out of Violet's book. He didn't say how many I had to give back.

"All of them?"

Well, there went that plan.

I contemplated this offer just as I heard a sharp ripping noise. I suddenly fell backwards into the air, and I didn't even have enough time to scream. My fall was broken by two furry arms, and I stared right into Kanda's face. He looked just as surprised as I did. I honestly expected to end up with a broken back or a punctured lung. This was a pleasant alternative.

I must have been up there too long if I thought being held by the dog man was better than a broken back. I hoped there wasn't any permanent brain damage. Who knows what sorts of things I'll like?

His surprised facial expression turned to one of sternness.

"The deal still applies," he said.

I went limp in defiance as I groaned. He dropped me, and the floor knocked the wind out of me. I coughed as I rolled on to my side. Why didn't he warn me first? Wait, this is Grouch face I'm talking about. It'd be strange if he did warn me first. I really was up there too long.

I felt like I was just stepped on by a giant toddler. I heaved myself off the ground, dusting myself off as I looked around the music room for anything else I might have lost.

I heard Kanda growl suddenly, and I whirled around towards the source of the noise. Both disks were in my hands, ready to go.

Of course, it was Charles. It was all too possible he might have wet himself just now. He skirted around Kanda, who continued to glare at him mercilessly before disappearing into the hallway. Charles collapsed into a rickety chair with a relieved sigh, scratching his brownish-blond hair. Poor guy couldn't catch a break. Kanda was ruthless. It was like he could smell fear. I would know.

In his hands, Charles held the journal we'd found. It was in slightly better condition now that we'd dried it out and retraced some of the words with a pen.

"He's not the happiest person on the planet," I said, putting the deactivated bracelets back on.

Charles gave me a pleadingly incredulous look before flipping through the journal. I sat down next to him in a wicker chair that looked like it might fall apart any second. It was being held together by hope and strands of reed the size of a shoe lace.

"Did you and Lavi find anything?" I asked seriously.

I had this sort of mother instinct towards Charles. He was the type of guy who just looked worried and vulnerable all the time. He was sort of puppyish. It didn't help that Kanda bullied him like the guy had done him personal injury. Charles had been terrified of Kanda as a human, and he was in even worse shape with Kanda as a dog. It was as if Satan had combined his two worst fears. Now, as for me, if you'd mixed Kanda with a spider...

"Dust, cobwebs, and some of zese t'orns, but zat is all we have found," Charles said, handing me a thorn the length of my middle finger.

"Definitely an Akuma around," I said, trying to sound brave. My voice wasn't interested in pretenses though; it squeaked through half the sentence.

Charles patted my shoulder sympathetically. My bid for bravery and valor obviously fell flat. I hung my head, a storm cloud practically raining down on me as I thought about the implications the single thorn gave me. Why me? Why us? Why, why, why? Why couldn't it be something like, oh, I dunno, a bear or a pack of wolves or something like that? Bears and wolves I can see and hear. Akuma were the silent type, when they weren't giggling.

All of a sudden a shiver ran down my back, and my paranoia flared. I surreptitiously looked around, wondering if it was somewhere in the house, watching us. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up as I pocketed the thorn, careful not to cut myself. Horror scenarios of being fileted alive began intruding inmy mental theater in increasingly gory, overly dramatic ways.

"Have you looked outside?" I asked wearily, trying to distract myself.

Sleeping on that pile of curtains was not an acceptable substitute for a feather bed. Kanda dropping me on my back only added to the spinal problems that ailed me. I stretched out in the hopes of popping all my vertebrae back in place, but all I accomplished was figuring out exactly where I was in pain. Luckily, I hadn't messed with my prior injuries, and the drop hadn't re-broken my ribs, though they felt like someone had smashed a hammer into them.

"No, none of us have looked outside," Charles sighed, looking out the window with an apprehensive look. The grounds were overflowing with weeds and shrubberies. It resembled a jungle more than a garden. It was going to take a mean pair of shears, a lucky horseshoe, and a lot of prayer to find anything in that mess.

I stood up and looked towards the rafters.

The dust I'd seen looked more like spores than dust. It was gold and shiny, almost metallic, like someone had sprinkled golden beebees the size of salt , the mouse had stopped my impromptu search and seizure. I did not enjoy having small furry feet scramble across my ankles and I'd scream on a good day. This wasn't a good day. My response was a little more dramatic.

"Well, it doesn't look like we'll find anything good in here. Was there something you needed to tell me before you go and change your underwear?" I asked nonchalantly.

Charles thought about it, looking confused.

"Well, I found some- hey!"

I smiled as he (very indignantly) caught on to my little joke. He 'hmphed' loudly.

"I have deziphered more of ze text," Charles said, holding up the book like it was some sort of artifact from a bygone time.

I raised an eyebrow at his grandiose use of 'deciphered'. If by 'deciphered' he meant 'read and translated a child's scrawl of really bad French', then yes, I would have to say deciphered would be a good word.

Charles ignored my dubious 'mother' stare, and he cracked open the book.

" 'Today Eugenia and I went to the park. It was a lot of fun. I was the Beast and Eugenia was ze pretty girl. Eugenia hurt herself when she climbed up a tree. Now Eugenia is sick and I am sad.' I zink it was the manse owner's child who wrote zis, from what else I have read. She had a strange fixazion on ze story 'Le Belle et la Bete,'" Charles explained, closing the book gingerly. He pointed to the walls and their friezes, and I had to agree with that sentiment considering the amount of 'Beauty And The Beast' artwork that had survived the mold takeover.

For the past few days, we'd been casing out the manse in the hopes of finding a way to trap the Akuma. So far, all we'd managed wasto gross ourselves out by the disgusting amount of mold that had managed to flower inside the walls and the other bathrooms. Lavi gagged, and he has no mouth. I headed for the hills and decided to rethink my life choices. Kanda puked.

I guess one of the worst things about being a dog hybrid is the sensitive nose. I'm glad I didn't eat that bean casserole while we were in Boston, because that would have only added to the awkwardness.

"I kind of already figured that -"

"MAGGIE!"

Charles and I didn't need to confer with each other to reach an executive decision. I ran down the hallway, dodging the masses of destroyed and decaying wood, wallpaper, and furniture. Soon, I was in the anteroom off of the main living room. It suddenly occurred to me that I'd instinctively followed the voice rather than running from potential danger, and I once again rethought my career choice. The on-the-job training could be killer.

Of course, it wasn't exactly my choice, but it was either this or... No, there really wasn't a choice. I didn't have an alternative.

"What? What's the matter?!" I shouted. I didn't see anybody, just the decadent opulence of an unfortunate rich man. Of course for such a miserable guy, he sure did know how to live. His kitchen was still completely stocked, right down to the smelly cheese. We'd been picking on what was still edible, which was actually quite a lot. Apparently there hadn't been time to move out of the house, and their loss was our gain. I hadn't eaten genoa salami that good since-

"Over here," Bookman growled.

My eyes traveled upwards warily, following his voice, and my stomach immediately put several complaints in the suggestion box, chief of which happened to be "Are you an idiot? What are you doing?". I swallowed, my mouth suddenly as dry as my grandmother's beef roast.

"Um... I don't know if you expect me to get that down or not," I said to the clock dangling from the chandelier, Lavi sitting on a separate arm.

My eyes, however, were glued to the corpse sprawled across the arms like a king sitting in a rather unorthodox throne. It's skin was the consistency of badly tanned leather, and the clothing was a telltale style nearly fifty years too old for the present day. Stretched out across its frame was a very old, yellowed dress that may have once been white. It's face was nothing more than a skull, the lips long dried back from the teeth. Its hair somehow still stuck to the scalp, albeit in strips of blackish gray.

"I wouldn't want you to. I don't trust your strength," Bookman offered, swinging his way to the ground on what appeared to be a very thin fishing line. Somehow, the old man could manage grace while climbing off a scaffold for a mummy. Not only that, he did it as a block of wood. I was impressed to say the least.

Not so impressed with the honesty, though. I squeezed a bicep with a little bit of shame. No, there really wasn't much there...

Suddenly, I started to gag as it fully hit me that I was in a room with a dead human body. I resisted the urge to throw up. The smell finally wafted down to me, and I could no longer ignore the disgust my stomach kept expressing. I ran off in a corner, and I lost my breakfast. Genoa salami does not taste good the second time around.

"That... is repulsive," I gasped, wiping my mouth and looking back at the mummy. It was like a wagon crash. You couldn't look away, no matter how much you wanted to. I mean, it usually happens at only five miles an hour, but it still turns into a horrific mess of oxen and angry men. I shivered as Bookman toddled towards me on his peg legs.

"The approximate time of death is twenty years," Bookman said.

"About the same time the house was abandoned," Lavi spelled out for me. I looked down at him, seeing as he'd managed to get off the chandelier.

"Thanks for basically telling me I can't do math," I quipped at him, half-heartedly swinging a foot in his direction. He lithely bounced out of the way.

"My pleasure," he said back with what I knew was one of his trademark grins.

I crossed my arms and looked at the corpse. Obviously the person was very dead and the body had seen better days, but something about it struck me as odd. Besides, you know, it being mummified, sitting in a chandelier, in a house that was possibly possessed by a demon.

"Is it... male or female?" I asked, frowning.

Something tugged at my memory and my obsessive compulsion with neatness and the way things were supposed to be was flaring, though that wasn't a surprise considering the fact there was a corpse hanging off a chandelier. If that's normal, I don't want to know what's weird.

"I had assumed it to be female, but you pose a good point. What makes you think otherwise?" Bookman asked, his voice creaking as he stared up at the body.

"The shoulders... it's stretching the dress. Also, the face is awfully thick. Of course, it's very decomposed," I said, gagging on the last word as a waft of stench drifted in my direction on a draft. I put a hand over my mouth and nose, trying hard to ignore it.

"Yeah... the feet are a lot bigger, too," Lavi noted, "Now that you mention it. I mean, I only got a look from up there."

"Idiot apprentice. Consider all angles."

"Hey! You missed it too, old man!"

"I can be excused in my old age. I had not had time to examine the body thoroughly."

"Why are you blaming me, then?!"

"Because you're the idiot apprentice. It is obviously your fault."

I rolled my eyes at the bickering going on, and I walked directly underneath the corpse. I winced as I saw... well, to put it lightly, right up the dress. Definitely male. I averted my eyes, slapping a hand over them. Why did I do that?

"Um, I think this is a little more indicative to gender," I said, pointing upwards. The two mantle ornaments stopped their bickering to follow my finger and go, "Oooooh."

"..."

"..."

"I think I might puke," Lavi said, suddenly sounding sick.

"I don't see why. Yours don't look much better, and you see them every day," Bookman muttered, and I felt heat rise to my face.

Men seem to have this predisposition on talking about the size and condition of their specific organs. My brothers seemed to have a daily contest about who was more prodigious. It took a comment from Violet about peanuts to shame them to quietude.

"Hey! Those are closer to your condition-"

"Ooookay, it's time to change the subject. What does the note say?" I asked, pointing up to the note in order to stop them from mortifying me. I almost wanted to join Mr. Cross-dresser up there where I couldn't hear them. My ears were still virgin, even if the rest of me wasn't.

"What are you idiots doing?" Kanda growled, skulking into the room like a thundercloud, as per usual. He stopped dead in front of the corpse, twitched his nose and left to go and eat some grass. I could swear his fur turned green.

"Want to help me autopsy the corpse?!" I shouted to him, hearing gagging noises outside the front door.

"Wait... that corpse obviously wasn't there when we got here three days ago," Lavi said.

"You have stated the obvious," Bookman grumbled, folding his wooden arms.

I had to agree with him. Even I can't miss a body sitting in a chandelier. While they were having their spitting match, I activated a disk and started to try and get the note down.

"Which means that it was recently moved and must have still been in the house."

"Observant. I had thought the same thing. And we were working in this room in the past thirty minutes."

The note finally fluttered down gently after I managed to hit one of the arms of the chandelier. I caught the note with a triumphant 'aha!'. I heard a creaking noise above me, and I frowned as I felt impending doom hover over me. I was very suddenly flattened by a corpse falling from nearly twenty feet in the air, and I lay on the ground in horror, too scared to move. Oh... dear... lord in heaven above.

"So it's quiet. Very quiet. We need to stay on our toes."

"Uh... guys? Help?" I squeaked, trying to avoid grimy, gross, disgusting, decayed, decomposing human flesh.

Both of them finally noticed me and began to tug off the corpse, but they weren't doing much. Finally, I couldn't take it, and I shrugged it off to the side, shivering and trying to brush off fragments of... things. I was going to throw up. I was going to send Komui my resignation and I was going to throw up. That was exactly what I was going to do. I'd already thrown up already, but it didn't matter because _I'd just touched a dead body!_ Decaying. Dead. Human. Body.

"I need bleach! I need arsenic, I need lye, oh dear Lord in Heaven have mercy upon my poor soul..."

"Huh, nice. You didn't even scratch it. Nice work," Lavi complimented.

I hopped from foot to foot, not proud of that achievement as I tore off my Exorcist jacket. I'd clean it later. With bleach. Lots and lots of bleach. Maybe tear off my skin and add it to the bleach. Add some lye. Give it a good soak for about a month. I can walk around without skin, right?

"Disgusting... slimy... nasty...," I complained, shivering. It was in my hair; I could feel it. Like everything else, it had mold on it. I'd need to bleach my hair too. Forget bleaching- I'd shave myself bald.

"Go and get yourself some fresh air. We'll examine this ourselves," Bookman said, shooing me off.

I didn't need to be told twice. I immediately walked out the front door, and I almost tripped on Kanda who was lying next to the front door looking sicker than I felt. He looked up at me, widened his eyes, and quickly slunk off.

"You stink," Kanda gagged, leaning over the railing of a balcony and coughing.

I rolled my eyes. Drama queen. Even I got over it eventually, as long as I didn't think about it too hard.

Oh, but of course I just thought about it. Bleach, lye, arsenic, baldness, skinning, naked, nasty...

"Yeah, yeah, I know. That'll happen when you have a corpse surprise attack you," I quipped. He looked at me drily.

"Only you have reflexes bad enough a corpse could surprise you," he growled.

So I walked into that one. I ran a hand through my hair and immediately thought better of it when I felt something vaguely wet smear a finger. I shook out my hand and made a face. I could never look at my hair the same ever again. Definitely shaving it off.

I still had the note in hand and I opened it.

"What's that?" Kanda asked, slinking over to me.

I looked up at him, and I was surprise to see just how far his condition had worsened. His back was more hunched and he seemed to be in more pain. He would never admit it, but I could see it in the way he walked so stiffly. I was used to dealing with teenage boys who were too proud to tell Big Sister they were hurt.

I had Sebastian try and hide a broken arm from me. Good thing he wasn't smart enough to keep it hidden.

"A note from the Akuma. Why don't you sit?" I asked, motioning to one of the wicker chairs on the balcony. There was a 'deck' of sorts on the front of the house that sat atop the stairs leading to the front door. Kanda wordlessly put himself in one, leaning his back into it and sighing through his snout.

"It's intelligent. It can still write," Kanda rumbled.

I skimmed the note, half-listening. "What makes you say that?"

"The Akuma's personality tends to deteriorate the older and higher in level it is. If it can still write, it's retained a lot of human personality. We say that Akuma are indistinguishable from humans, but there are subtle signs. That's why Levels 3 and 4 aren't ever in their human form. They don't act like humans any more," Kanda said, giving me a short lesson. It was probably the most I'd heard him talk in three days.

I wandered over to him and I started to scratch behind his ears as I read the scrawled handwriting. It was very clumsy, as if a child had written it.

"Little to the left... go down... Wait, what do you think you're doing?" Kanda snapped, leaning away from me.

I raised my eyebrows wryly. "The deal still applies. Remember?"

He considered this and slowly sat back into his chair. I resumed my scratching and he tried to hide his pleasure, though I could see his tail twitch now and again. Good thing this seat had a hole in the back. We'd found out it was a little difficult for Kanda to sit considering the tail was connected to his backbone, and most chairs weren't made with tails in mind. I scratched a little harder, and his leg twitched.

"It says... we're invited to a ball... and I'm supposed to wear that dress," I said, looking back through the front door. I winced, thinking about the faded dress and its horrific occupant. There was no way in heaven or hell I was wearing that dress- at least, not without peeling my skin off afterwards. I was already thinking about doing that and I'd only touched the dead guy.

"Good luck with that," Kanda sighed, leaning back into the hand scratching his ears.

"It also says that... if we refuse to be willing guests, we'll have to be escorted. We have thirty minutes to respond," I emphasized.

The words were a little less eloquent than that, but it summed up the request better than the mash of words on the little card. A few grains of sand (golden beebees?) dripped from the card as I unfolded another piece of paper, this one a map of the house. A room at the top was circled, one of the few places we had yet to check in the manse. I'd guessed that it was the library.

"How long ago did you find that corpse?" Kanda asked, a curious tone to his voice.

"Maybe five, ten minutes ago," I said, reading over the note again.

"When was the corpse dropped off?" Kanda asked, again that weird tone.

"Bookman said about... thirty minutes... ago..." I said slowly, catching on to what he meant.

This wasn't a rational human being. If anything, it was the soul of a dead child, which only made things worse. I looked back into the front room, and that's when I smelt it. Something sweet, almost sickly sweet.

The twins had gassed me I didn't know how many times. I'd recently regained my sense of smell, which was both a blessing and a curse. I was only too aware of what this smell was.

"Run!" I shouted at Kanda, yanking him by the ear and dragged us to the stairs. He yelped a little, finally catching up.

"What are you doing?" Kanda hissed as we ran down the stairs two at a time.

"Sleeping gas. Those spores- they turned you into a dog, Lavi and Bookmen into mantle ornaments, and everybody else into a cleaning item! If it can do that, I can bet it can put people to sleep, too!" I explained, amazed I could speak and run at the same time.

And then, suddenly, my mommy instinct kicked in. Halfway down the driveway, I stopped, my eyes wide, and I looked back as dread pooled in my stomach like blood out of an open wound. My heart hammered in my chest as Kanda ran past me a little ways. It was dead silent, all noise sucked up in the jungle of the grounds.

"The boys," I breathed. Kanda and I shared a look, with me standing sideways between freedom and the manse. I flickered my eyes back to the manse for all of a second.

I had a decision to make. I could abandon them and save our skins, which would be the smart thing to do, or I could go back and do what the letter demanded, which was the idiot thing to do. Neither option had a good outcome for me. One would probably have me hanging from a rafter by a rope, using my feet as a compass needle, and the other would mean a horrific, painful, no doubt slow, death.

"Maggie-" Kanda started, but it was too late. I ran back towards the house.

_You told me not to ever give up. Well, I'm not going to give up. Not on anyone._

* * *

Sounds of dripping water... on tile because it's cold...

Where... where was I?

Soft shhhhshhhhshhh of slithering...clink of silverware...heavy breathing...

I... remember running to the manse... tearing the dress off the corpse. Thinking about boiling... tearing off skin...

Something groaning, wood, and then squeaking of chairs. Music, soft and tinkling...

I squeezed my eyelids tight... It was... dark... and something heavy... on my lap...

Whisper hush hush of sliding... smell of old paper, wet paper... cold tile underneath...

I opened my eyes slowly, almost afraid.

It was about fifteen feet long, from flower hair to the long cord of roots at the end. A face was carved of wood, serene, womanly. Crude hands made of thorns and weaving stems set up a table set for two. A skeletal thin body supported the head with its flower-bud bun, and vicious thorns poked from her had no legs, just roots that seemed to die off and move at an amazing pace, rooting into the house. In an odd way, she was beautiful.

Of course, that wasn't going to stop me from hacking her into tiny, itty bitty pieces, but at least this Akuma wasn't as scary as the others I'd had to fight.

My head felt fuzzy, probably from the drug, and it was like every thought I tried to string together immediately shot apart at the mere glance of attention. I was having a hard time putting my thoughts into words, considering those words looked a lot like alphabet soup. It took me what must've been hours to realize I could move freely, though I was bound by plant branches.

That brought to mind the sick idea that I was being held down with Akuma body parts, and I put on my to-do checklist for when I got home "Bathe in alcohol", along with "scrub off your skin", "bleach your uniform white", and "shave yourself bald". Speaking of my hair, I realized it was crudely pinned up into a mess. Of course, Akuma weren't known for their hairstyling prowess, and it occurred to me that she could've ended my life easily enough, considering those nasty looking claws.

I looked down atmy lap and I sucked in a sharp breath. Kanda's head lay in my lap and he was wide awake. He looked up at me pleadingly, and I realized that he'd been shackled with the same plant fibers I was stuck with, laying [change to 'lying'] perpendicular to me. He was dressed in this horrible suit that made him look like a manly sausage in a skin two sizes too small. He squeezed his eyes shut tight and I realized he was in a lot of pain. The spell was fighting the binding effects of the Akuma's ability, but in doing so it was slowly destroying his body and tearing it apart. I bit my lip, knowing he was too proud to admit his pain.

Idiot. It'd probably make him feel better if he just cussed himself blue in the face.

I laid a hand on his back and it may have been my imagination, but I think he relaxed just that much more. I looked around surreptitiously, hanging my head like I was still asleep. We were in a library, that was for certain. Book upon book, upon book, upon pamphlet, upon atlas, upon scroll was piled up in this tall room with scattered shelves on the walls and surrounding us. It was eerily dark, the only light a giant chandelier hanging above us. The floor was tiled, and it was scattered with rotting, moldy paper. I tried not to shift away from a stack right next to my feet, but my paranoia at catching some sort of fungal disease was getting to be really strong.

On several overturned shelves, I could see 'audiences' of various plates, cups, broomsticks, brushes, and other household items. It took me a little bit to locate Bookman and Lavi, and I suddenly felt fear constrict my heart as I realized I couldn't find Charles. I felt awfully responsible for the poor Finder and if he'd been killed...

I tried to swallow tears. There was a chance that he wasn't dead. And maybe he'd just been turned into another household object?

"Good evening," a hushed, French voice whispered in front of me, and I looked up into the face of the Akuma. Holy-!

I shrieked, trying to squirm backwards, but all she did was stare at me with that wooden look.

Literal wooden look. It was disconcerting.

"They should put a bell on you," I muttered under my breath, trying to regain my composure.

The Akuma slithered around, nearly silent, examining the both of us. I could only imagine what sort of creepy fantasies were going in her headand none of them were pretty. I could only hope this fixation on animal-human relations happened after her transformation, and not before.

Suddenly, Kanda's restraints were loosed, and he immediately sprang towards the Akuma, teeth bared and ready to take her down with nothing but tooth and claw. Good on him- I was going to wait until I had a plan of action, but he could buy time.

That was until I had a long tendril snap around my neck.

I started to choke, my vision turning fuzzy and black. I tried to reach up and tear it off, but my hands were restrained,tightened with the same dead man's hold. I could hear the Akuma speaking and Kanda growling. Just barely, I could make out Kanda holding a piece of the Akuma in his teeth, a root tendril.

"Maggie... Maggie, what is she saying?!" Kanda asked, his voice low and menacing, though oddly comical seeing as he was talking around a piece of what amounted to being the Akuma's foot.

I could hardly hear him over the sound of blood rushing into my ears. The pressure began to abate, but I felt something slick and sharp press to a vein in my neck. I tried desperately to suppress the urge to swallow. I might tear out my own neck.

"Tell him that if he doesn't play with me, I'll kill you," the Akuma commanded peevishly.

I deliberated ontelling him that. On the one hand, he might just attack heranyways and condemn me to a quick, but painful, death. If he cooperated (which I doubted), we'd still end up the playmates (or pawns, more like) of a sadistic demon child. Neither sounded like fun.

"She says... if you don't play with her, she'll kill me. I don't want to die. Okay, the last part is my own thought. She didn't say that," I iterated, throwing in the last part with an emphatic expression.

Kanda deliberated, looking between the two of us.

Please put down the root. Please put down the root. For the love of God, you shouldn't have Akuma flesh in your mouth as it is.

Much to my pleasant surprise, he let go of the root. The tendril slowly slithered off my neck, and the bonds around my hands withered. I could move freely now and I slowly got up, noticing I wasn't wearing my wristbands. The Akuma moved to the table, which was stocked with a variety of moulderingfoods. She was still serene, willowy, graceful, and I just realized in that moment that an undead demon was prettier than me. I felt sufficiently miffed and a little outdone.

"Please, sit, dine. Be my guest," the Akuma said, sitting in a chair farther off to watch.

"What did she say?" Kanda muttered.

"She said we should sit and eat."

"She's kidding."

"Hey, I just say what she tells me to."

We exchanged looks as we took our places at the table. The Akuma made a gesture, and Lavi suddenly jumped off the audience rack to the table.

"Mademoiselle, Monsieur, I'd like to welcome you to this lovely evening of grandeur, fear, and delusion," Lavi muttered to us as he began to pour wine that looked like it might still be somewhat palatable. Too bad I don't drink wine...

I was impressed with Lavi's abilities to manhandle a bottle in his state, though.

"What do we do?" I muttered to Kanda as I played with the food. "Where are our Innocence?"

I tried to forget the fact that little flecks of skin were stuck to my dress and falling in the food, though luckily I had my uniform between me and the dress. Still, it was driving me crazy. What would Lily think? She'd be appalled at the abuse to an old dress.

"Well, you know, every cloud has a silver lining," Lavi mentioned, looking up conspiratorially. Kanda and I momentarily looked up, and the glint of a sword sheath shone from the chandelier, as well as the shine of my bangles. In fact, it looked like there were several different items hung on the chandelier. A trophy room of some sort?

"Great. Now what?" I sighed, staring into what I think was supposed to be pasta but looked more like dog vomit left to ruminate in the sun in an outhouse.

"Stall," Lavi suggested. "Bookman and I will figure out how to get your things."

"Charles?" I asked.

"Alive. He's a broomstick."

Well. That made me feel marginally better. At least one of us was somewhat comfortable. He was thin and blond anyways.

"Look, how do we stall a mad Akuma who's got her mind stuck on some fairytale?" Kanda hissed across the table, reaching for the basket of rolls that may have been fresh the day Adam was born.

"Easy. Dance," Lavi suggested, hopping off the table.

The two of us looked at each other in mortification. Desperate times apparently call for desperate measures.

* * *

**A/N:** I'm back, after quite a bit of time! I know I've been slow on updating stories. I've been searching for inspiration and alas it seems I have found it. Hopefully, I'll be writing more often than I have been.

Again, a big hats-off to my beta, Karina001, for her excellent, excellent commentary and suggestions! Without her, you'd be getting a much cruddier, raw story with a lot more misspellings!

Thank you, individuallytrivial! You have now joined the ranks of the follower and favoriteer army. Albeit, you are a small force, but you shall champion forward valiantly.

I do have a few questions: _How are you enjoying the story so far? Have you found any inconsistencies? Do you need any questions answered? What do you make of the canon characters? And do you have any suggestions for future missions? What sort of emotional response do you get out of this story? Do you laugh, do you cry, do you bemoan the foul writing? _Answers would be much appreciated.

Until next time! God bless you and good reading!


	22. How to Teach A Dog To Dance

We were in a sticky situation.

There was a Level Two Akuma that had turned my friends into a dog, a glorified candelabrum and a clock respectively, and it was holding them hostage- just so she could live out her twisted fantasy of seeing Beauty and the Beast happen on her ballroom floor.

I had had better days.

"I'm not dancing," Kanda hissed across the table. His chair squeaked as he leaned forward, and I winced as his weight challenged the integrity of the chair. By my guess, it was going to last maybe another five minutes. Kanda as a man weighed a good a hundred and seventy pounds. Kanda as a dog beast weighed upwards of two hundred and fifty.

"Look, we can talk while we dance. It won't be that bad," I said, trying to get up.

More skin flakes fell off, and I almost gagged. Oh lord. Oh God, save me. I was fervently praying for Him to quell my gag reflex because I swore I would throw up the minute I saw another piece of skin fall off this dress. More than likely, I'd vomit on Kanda, and I'd have more problems than just friends-turned-domestic-objects and a demon watching a passion play.

"No, you don't understand. I can't dance," he growled as he got up, the chair giving a relieved sigh. For all I knew, that chair really had sighed, considering the number of people who'd disappeared around here and been transformed into household furniture.

"Of course you can. You've got fancy swordsman footwork," I grumbled as I walked to the middle of the floor.

I glanced back to the Akuma that was watching us, her beady eyes following us around. I held out my hand, and Kanda stared at it like I was trying to hand him a dead fish. He muttered under his breath as he finally took me by the hand with a scaly, padded paw. It was dry and warm, his grip careful because of the wicked sharp claws on the end. His fur tickled my fingers, and I tried my hardest not to shudder from the strangeness. He looked incredibly uncomfortable, and not just because of the horrible 'outfit'. For a second, I felt something like pity, but we didn't have time to make up and compromise.

"Just follow my lead," I said, staring up at the chandelier where our Innocence was sequestered, Christmas ornaments on a gruesome tree. It surprised me that the chandelier wasn't made out of the bones and skulls of her victims. Then again, she probably didn't have that much imagination to begin with.

"I thought I was supposed to be the lead," Kanda complained, and I stared at him, dead in the eye with a flat look.

I raised an eyebrow, trying to keep the mood light, because if I didn't I might just run out of the ballroom screaming my head off and screw the Innocence I'd been given. Then again, I'd heard that people who abandoned their Innocence tended to turn into disastrous monsters of mass destruction, so death via thorns might be a softer way to die.

Speaking of which, I looked up again at the chandelier. Lavi and Bookman had assured us that they'd get our Innocence to us with due haste, but unfortunately 'due haste' meant 'right this freaking second' to me. My patience was a little stretched at the moment.

"It isn't that hard, you just... no no, step backwards. Good. Now to the side. Now to the front. One, two, three, one, two, three..."

It was awkward going, but after the first few rounds he could do a rough polka step. He wasn't exactly going to impress a young noblewoman with his clubfeet, but for our purposes we were just going to have to suck it up and pretend. Hopefully, the demon back there wasn't too picky. I looked up at him, but he was too busy looking over my head, probably out the windows and trying to forget his situation.

"I still think you're bad luck. You must have done some terrible things in your past life. Your karma stinks," he grumbled sourly, and I frowned at him.

"How many times do I have to tell you that I'm not bad luck?" I jabbed back, and he suddenly sneezed, blowing my hair back.

I made a face as dog snot suddenly landed on my face, and I scrunched my eyes shut. He didn't even say anything.

"I take that back. My luck is horrible," I said as I tentatively wiped at my face with a hand. I'd been covered in pieces of human, dog mucus, and plant matter. What else could I have dumped on me today?

_"Yes, yes! Dance, continue!"_ the Akuma crooned, suddenly slithering around the ballroom.

I straightened my back as if I had a Catholic nun-teacher behind me inspecting my skirt length and poise, and I tried to continue dancing as I saw her dart in and out of my peripheral vision. I quickly wiped off the rest of the dog snot.

"What did she say?" Kanda said under his breath.

I sighed. "Uh... basically, keep dancing. What's taking them so long?"

"The idiot rabbit is probably romancing a spoon."

I spun him around to look over his shoulder at the chandelier, and I could see Bookman picking his way through the gleaming crystal with all the nimbleness of a... well, a clock. Lavi was nowhere to be seen, and I half wondered if Kanda might be right. He did say he could talk to the other objects. Maybe a piece of silverware caught his little, gleaming eye.

_"It's funny. A long, long time ago, I used to dance with my mama like this. One two three, one two three, one two three..."_

I didn't know what was worse: dancing for the Akuma or hearing about its life's story.

Wait... d'oh.

Mental head slap, what was I thinking?

I'd been on one trip with Allen, nearly seven months ago. With that handy eye, I'd thought I wouldn't have to worry as much as I typically did. After all, he caught Akuma faster than I ever could dream, and he was just fifteen. I basically thought I could ride out the mission without too much hassle. It wasn't that I was lazy or anything, but I honestly was sick and tired of having to be on my guard literally twenty-four hours a day. I'd almost mastered the art of sleeping with an eye open.

That had all changed when Allen came too close to me during one of our excursions into the German forests and encountered a Level Two. The world he saw was like the maelstrom of hell, tortured souls bound to a body of dark, nebulous mass forced to fuel a war machine. I'd almost thrown up, and that was the first time anyone had explained what the Akuma truly were. We Exorcists like to forget they were once humans- it makes it easier to fight them.

This was once someone's mother or someone's child. I couldn't forget that. Otherwise, I'd forget what exactly I was fighting for.

"I'm getting sick of her French," Kanda muttered.

I lightly slapped his arm."Shush! I'm trying to listen."

"What? To an Akuma-"

"Let me use my mom logic for once, okay? This was a kid," I grumbled under my breath.

Lord, I was getting tired. This dress was heavy, keeping up with Kanda's clumsy steps was difficult, and I was having issues trying to translate and dance at the same time. Where in the blue blazes were Lavi and Bookman with our weapons?!

_"- and one day I fell out of a tree."_

It was quiet for a minute as Kanda and I halted, taking a breather. I could feel her eyes on me, and we began dancing again at a frantic pace, which seemed to appease her.

"She fell out of a tree," I muttered to Kanda, and he groaned.

"I don't care."

No, of course he wouldn't. He'd probably pass a box full of waterlogged kittens with dry eyes.

_"...and Mama called me back down here. It hurts here. But making people die makes it a little better. And now I have you two. You can be my beauty and beast for forever. You can take the pain away, from losing Maman,"_ the Akuma said silkily, staring out the window.

I frowned at our feet as we continued our dance, and I chewed it over for a moment. All in all, she was a child trapped in a death machine. And she was looking for someone to take away the pain.

I'd heard stories from Lavi of Akuma who fought their natures for the chance to regain a bit of their humanity. An Akuma named Eliade and a few others had wanted nothing more than to continue the lives that they'd been given over again. It was sort of horrible, honestly. I stared at the forlorn Akuma over Kanda's shoulder.

_"I have a friend of mine who has a saying about your kind,"_ I mentioned quietly.

The Akuma turned her head ever so slightly for a moment to listen. My French was rustic, but it got the point across.

_"Akuma are too tragic for this world,"_ I stated.

"OI! Kanda, Maggie, catch!" Lavi shouted, and a flash of silver caught my eye from above.

I grinned as our Innocence seemed to fall from heaven- until I realized I had a sword and two bladed discs falling towards me. My grin immediately turned to an open-mouthed frown of panic. Crap, crap, crap, crap, what do I do, _what do I do?_

Luckily for me, Kanda thinks a lot faster than I do, because he shoved me off like last week's garbage and snatched Mugen out of the air, headed towards the Akuma, while I tried to avoid being chopped into tiny pieces by my own Innocence. I yelped as they landed in front and behind me, embedding themselves in the floor just an inch from my feet on either side.

"Be more careful!" I shouted indignantly. "You could've killed me!"

"Sorry!" Lavi shouted from the chandelier.

I looked towards the fray of metal, fur, and demon, I realized that there really wasn't anywhere I could get a blade in edgewise. As far as they were concerned, I was chopped liver. I threw my hands up in the air in exasperation and grabbed my Innocence. You know what, that was perfectly fine by me! I'll sit next to the other spectators while they duke it out.

However, the fight very suddenly came to me when a stray plant root shot towards me, and I just barely managed to slice at it with a flick of my hand. Another root wrapped around my ankle, and I found myself being dragged across the tile floor, vines wrapping around my arms and legs.

"Hey hey hey hey hey_ help, help, help_!" I pleaded as I tried to bury my discs back into the ground, with no avail.

I was hauled up from the ground, and I thought my life flashed before my eyes when I saw a sword headed straight for me. I squeaked as I brought both Innocence up to block, though not of my own accord, and our blades sparked.

"Maggie? Get out of the way!" Kanda snarled at me as he skidded backwards, awkwardly holding his sword in his hand-paws.

"I would if I could!" I shouted back at him as I was manhandled into being a meat shield.

_"Surely you wouldn't strike your very own beauty, would you?"_ the Akuma sneered, and I rolled my eyes.

I was oddly calm right now, but I was sure that would change in approximately fifteen seconds or so.

_"Ahahahaha, let's not tempt him,"_ I recommended nervously, struggling against the vine cords using me like a marionette.

Spores fell around me, and I sneezed raucously, suddenly feeling dizzy. I turned the discs into bracelets as Kanda lunged forward.

He wasn't seriously going to slice through me- Or, uh, maybe he was- Oh Lord, don't let him be serious about this please-

I sucked in a giant breath as the blade passed within inches of my rib cage, cutting towards the Akuma.

"Careful!" I squeaked nearly two octaves higher than my typical speaking voice.

Kanda, being Kanda, didn't seem to pay heed, because he continued to hack and slash his way around me, nearly relieving me of an appendage several times. However, his slashes were slowly becoming sloppier, and it didn't take a genius to realize it had to be the spores. I myself was beginning to see double, and that was horrible enough.

Two Kandas? How about... no.

Finally, my bracelets were covered by the vines, and I sighed through my nose. I really, really prayed this worked the way I was hoping it would.

My bracelets expanded back into discs again, cutting through the vines on my arms, and I suddenly fell flat on my face, unable to keep balance. Kanda's blade passed probably within a hair of the top of my head, and I could even see his surprised expression as he accidentally stepped on top of my back. I squirmed as he shoved his sword into the Akuma and slammed his foot into my spine. I made a small noise as I flailed, trying to untangle myself, but I was thrown across the floor again into a bookcase. An avalanche of books suddenly cascaded down on top of me.

Okay, well, that makes human, dog mucus, dead plant matter, and decaying books that have been dumped on me today. I was going to break a world record at this rate.

"Maggie! Watch it!" a voice shouted through my stunned hearing, stars swimming in my vision as I blearily hacked at the vines wrapped around my ankles.

Wha-?

A vine wavered an inch from my face ( which was quickly becoming a local oddity- everything dangerous within the area was stopping an inch from my skin, it seemed ), a candlestick valiantly tugging it back. I shrieked as I hacked at it, but not before it could go into a death spasm and fling Lavi across the floor. I shook off the last of the tendrils around my ankles, and I raced to my downed comrade.

I stared at him and gasped, kneeling down next to him. He was snapped in half, probably cleaved with a thorn. I sincerely hoped that was just my double vision, but that didn't seem the case because I picked up two of his snapped ends.

"Oh... Oh no. Lavi, you're-"

"Half the man I want to be?" he joked heartily, and I felt the urge to both slap him and cry. Gently, I set him back down.

"You said that... that if you were ever damaged in this form..." I couldn't finish the rest of the sentence.

If we killed the Akuma and the spell suddenly ended-

Forget the sentence, I can't finish the thought.

"Hey, hey, don't worry about it. Just concentrate on the Akuma. Oh, by the way, behind you," Lavi said, looking over my shoulder, and I frowned, turning around just in time to block another surprise vine.

I was really beginning to hate these things…

"Does it hurt?" I asked hesitantly, half an eye on the Akuma trying to turn my partner into a throw rug.

"Nah, I have no nerves. I'm as comfortable as a guy cut in half can be," Lavi chuckled darkly.

I took a shuddering breath, shaking my head. I rubbed my face and looked over to the death battle going on not twenty feet away.

"Maggie, look at me," Lavi ordered, and I reluctantly met his eye - or what would have been his eye.

He gave me a lopsided smile, and I almost couldn't take it. He'd become my only friend. That kind of happens when your life is taken up by a ton of kids and not enough time between work, cleaning, and staying in the black.

"Everything will be okay. Now go and give that overgrown weed a piece of your mind before it gets a piece of you instead," Lavi said, laying a single candle holder on my finger. I opened my mouth, not sure what to say.

I hesitated for a moment, but I could see Bookman hopping over as fast as he could, so I knew the redhead would been in good ha- uh, pegs. I moved him to a pile of books where he'd be comfortable.

"Don't go anywhere," I said seriously.

"Not like I could if I wanted to," he sighed.

I dashed back into the fight, bouncing on the balls of my feet as I tried to find an opening. Gosh, this was like playing Double Dutch with razor wire.

Kanda was suddenly flung towards the windows, and I shouted in surprise as he smacked into them with a sick thud. The wan light of day bathed him as he lay on the ground, and the Akuma slithered towards him like a gruesome, carnivorous flower, its expression one of glee and disaster. The flower on its head, which had been closed, was open and spilling spores.

_"If you won't be my beast, I'll just have to get another one,"_ she crooned as I ran for what seemed like eternity.

I slid under one clawed hand, my arms raised over my head as she swung down, taking the hit through my arms. I felt the breath go out of me as the uniform held, allowing only what would be one massive bruise on my forearms. Both my arms fell from the impact, leaving me open to another attack, and I fell back against Kanda, kicking at her body with both legs.

_Rabbit kicks out_.

She stumbled for a moment, and I rolled forwards on to my knees, slashing with both hands now.

_Mongoose strikes._

She backed off, avoiding the slash, and I did something drastic. Kanda was out for the count, Lavi was probably done for (don't think about, don't think about, please don't think about it), and Bookman was a clock. I honestly didn't have a high opinion of our odds, so we really had nothing to lose.

So I hugged her.

She froze, stiffening in my grasp. I stroked the back of her neck and crooned, _"It's okay, it'll be okay. Look, I'm right here. Just relax, okay? It'll be fine, Maman's here..."_

For a moment, she seemed ready to rip me apart, but then she relaxed, leaning her face against my neck and embracing me. I shook as I looked over her shoulder at Lavi and Bookman. They were having a conversation, it looked like, and I started to cry, tears dribbling out my nose and down my face.

_"Maman is here, and you won't have to worry about ever being alone. We can play Beauty and the Beast all you want..."_

Lavi looked at me with a smile, and he raised a single arm in a salute. No, please don't do that. Do not act like you are saying good bye, you worthless little -.

"Do it," Kanda ordered quietly, and I could swear I heard pain in his voice for all of a split second.

The Akuma seemed to snap out of the reverie I'd put her in, and she had just started to thrash when I split her open from behind, discs digging into her wooden body. Splinters rained over my hands and into my skin as I ripped her in half, thorns clinging to my uniform as she screeched in my ear. She fell with a thud at my feet in two pieces, her face wooden and slack. I gasped for air as I sat on the ground, reeling.

I was going to have the headache of the century. Her scream was still ringing around in my skull.

"Tch. You hesitated," Kanda said behind me, and I rubbed my face in my hands and squeezed my eyes shut, not willing to look up.

"You wouldn't?" I groaned, rubbing my forehead.

"No."

What else did I expect him to say?

"Good job, Maggie!" a familiar voice said, and my eyes shot open.

I looked up in surprise, finding Lavi kneeling in front of me, and I slowly smiled.

That is, until I realized he was completely, stark naked. It took several seconds for my brain to register he was wearing only what his mother had given him, and I felt my joyous laugh get stuck in the back of my throat as I gradually started to die on the inside.

To make matters worse, Bookman was in the same state, and that is not a vision I would wish on anybody.

If these two weren't wearing anything... I dared not turn around to look at Kanda.

Behind Bookman, men were popping back into existence from where they'd fallen as objects, all of them naked, and I felt like I was in my worst nightmare. I honestly wanted the Akuma back.

"What's the matter, Mag?" Lavi asked, watching my face contort into horrified realization.

"Where are your clothes?!" I shrieked, covering my eyes finally.

"The clothes we had are in the forest somewhere. We couldn't carry them with us. They were much too heavy," Bookman grumbled closer to me, and I suppressed the urge to scream.

I got up, started walking with my eyes closed and my arms in front of me. I had to get out of here. I had to get somewhere that didn't have naked men, disgusting floors, dead people, demons, dresses with corsets-

I reached the doors, or what I thought were the doors, and I threw them open and opened my eyes.

Surely I was safe now, right? The only thing that could be out there should be -

A hall full of confused, naked men.

My eye twitched and I slapped my hand back over my face. It was just my day. Any other woman would be ecstatic. I was about to have a heart attack.

"What's the matter, Maggie, am I not good enough for you or something!"

_"Shut up before I shut you up, Lavi!"_

* * *

I languidly stretched out in my bathtub. It took nearly three different tubs full of water to make myself feel like I'd cleaned off the bits of corpse from that dress. Finally, I could relax for a moment, just take my time and pamper myself a little bit before the next hell-on-earth collided with me due to my occupation.

I had desperately searched for as much clothes as possible while at the mansion. There was no way I'd be able to handle having that many nude men around me without eventually succumbing to a propriety-induced death, probably from falling down a hole because I was walking around with my eyes closed. God had saved me, because Kanda had luckily been able to keep the pants he'd originally been stuffed into. Charles, who was very glad to no longer be a broomstick, had managed to find his and the other Exorcists' uniforms, something I will forever be grateful for.

I was still trying to scrub the image of Bookman out of my mind, but there are just some things that cannot be unseen.

Now, I was just relaxing here in Boston while the boys went and chowed down on the entire kitchen downstairs. I would leave them to harassing the cook, seeing as I needed nothing more than to be completely, utterly clean.

I sighed to myself, my arms hanging off the sides of the claw-footed tub, enjoying the steaming water. I'd turned it up as far as it would go, and it was slowly draining the hurt from my muscles. I had done my usual catalog of wounds, and I now had a half-healed toe, several broken ribs (I was beginning to think every single one would be broken by the time I was done training), a jammed knuckle, and more bruises than I could count. All in all, it was a better diagnosis than my last mission.

I heard someone open the door to my bedroom, and I figured it must be one of the boys, having forgotten something from his bag. Due to my obsessive need for order and neatness, any luggage that came into my room would magically become the picture of organization. I think they left them there on purpose.

I cracked my back, wincing at my ribs and curling up around them as they screamed agony. Finally I stood up, and I heard a knock on the door.

"Occupied," I called out. "What is it?"

If I had a nickel for every time Lavi asked me where his shoes, belt, holster, or bandanna was, I would never have to worry about money again. For a Bookman, he seemed to forget where he put his belongings quite a bit. He was lucky I had a mother's memory. I practically knew where everyone else's things were by some strange preternatural intuition.

The door opened, and I shrieked, pulling the shower curtain around me.

"What is the matter with you?! You don't just walk in on someone in the bath!" I whined loudly, not daring to face the intruder.

"We have a mission," Kanda stated, and I pressed my lips together in irritation.

Did no one teach him manners? I was naked, for crying out loud! I'd had enough with nakedness to last me a life time! I was just going to wear clothes and never take them off.

"Can this wait? I'm a little indecent," I asked shrilly, irritated and embarrassed.

"Tch. If I waited for you to get dressed, I'd be gray and withered when you were finished," he retorted, slapping something on the counter.

With that, the door closed, and I peeked just to make sure that he was gone. Sure enough, the door was shut fast. I dragged out a towel and pulled it around me, staring at the thing he'd left on the counter.

Sure enough, it was a mission dossier. I flipped through it as I started to towel dry my hair back into its poof-ball form.

_Mission Directive: A large peace summit is being held by the Bergeron family in Montreal that requires Exorcist supervision. The political constituents are known supporters of the Vatican and therefore targets for Akuma assassins. They must be protected. The summit is in three weeks._

I skimmed over the rest of the dossier, glad that I was getting to use a little bit more of my French abilities. All those summers spent in France were being put to good use.

Until I read who the mission executors were supposed to be.

* * *

"Don't make me go with him!"

"Maggie, I can't change any of that. I'm just an-"

"Yeah, yeah, observer, I get it. But please don't leave me alone with him! Please, please, please, can't you do anything?"

I was practically kneeling at Lavi's feet, begging for my life.

Who was I kidding? I _was_ begging for my life. Kanda was going to make me run until my heart climbed out of my mouth in disgust and went on strike.

"Maggie, you're going to be fine. Look, he's not as bad as you think he is," Lavi laughed nervously, sitting on his bed with several books open behind him.

I'd interrupted his reading session. To him, light reading was skimming four books at the same time. I could barely stomach one. Now I just had to add that to the stupidly long list of Lavi's abilities. I was getting more and more outclassed every day.

I stared at him open mouthed.

"He was going to leave _you_ to die! And you're the closest thing he's got to a 'friend'."

"Uh... well, he is very mission focused-"

"What if his 'mission focus' means leaving me behind?" I worried.

"I promise you, he is not going to let you die," he said, leaning back on his bed and staring at me with a single green eye. "Has he let you die once at all on this trip?"

I was about to protest until I realized that there was no way for me to argue. Obviously, I was very alive at the moment, and the faint pink line where Mugen had nearly set free all of my internal organs was testament to one of Kanda's (few) sacrifices. I let out a whoosh of breath, looking away at the carpet. I was literally kneeling on the floor in front of him, hands clasped in my lap. They had been up at my chest a few moments ago, but after realizing I had no ammo, I'd let them drop.

"See what I mean?" he said, skimming over his books.

I ran a hand through my hair, and I got up with a creak. Ugh, my bones felt like they'd been turned to centuries-old wood. Even with that bath, I was still very sore.

"Yeah. I guess," I grumbled to myself, knowing I was being childish. I rubbed my neck, annoyed that I had suddenly become so sniveling, but I couldn't lie. I was not too proud to beg at someone's feet.

"You feeling okay?" he asked after a pregnant pause, scanning me with his good eye.

He had this annoying habit of picking all my wounds out and then using them against me, whether in a spar (which wasn't fair) or when I'm supposed to be resting instead of cleaning (which was rude).

"Huh? Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little sore. I don't take being thrown around very well."

Most people don't. I happen to be most people. I don't think the Exorcists have grasped this yet.

Lavi sat up with a bounce, and he patted the bed. I looked around nervously, wondering what he wanted me to do.

He rolled an eye. "Just... trust me for once. Come on, I don't bite!"

I stared at him with suspicion.

"...Hard," he conceded with a mischievous glint in his eye, and I slapped my palm to my face.

I should have seen that one coming.

I reluctantly came over and sat down next to him, gingerly putting weight on the bed like it would collapse underneath me.

He started to rub all the knots out of my back, and I practically fell over in bliss.

How many useful abilities did he have? This just wasn't fair. No one should be this gifted. Maybe he had a toe that was absolutely horrific? Or he had a lifelong fear of poodles? Perhaps he had a debilitating weakness towards the color blue?

"What are you really afraid of?" he asked me.

I groaned, partly because I was in heaven and partly because I'd been had. I knew this wasn't a free lunch. There is no such thing as a free lunch. And something this good didn't come about for nothing. I sighed, the breath whooshing out of me.

"Exactly what I said. He scares me," I halfway confessed. And, of course, the analytical genius that is Lavi, Bookman Jr. tore my little half-baked excuse to itty-bitty pieces.

"You spent an entire week with the guy while he had his leg turned to mincemeat in the middle of a blizzard without any sort of communication device, and you didn't look worse for wear. If anything, you looked better rested than you had been for weeks."

Oh, maybe because someone wasn't beating me black and blue every day consecutively for a few weeks while traveling? That might have something to do with it.

"And you managed to get the guy to take a bath. Not that Yuu is an unclean person, but it takes an awful lot of willpower to do something like that, especially when he had teeth longer than your pinkie nail. I don't think it's necessarily Kanda that's got you worried," he reasoned as he teased my muscles apart.

I was halfway asleep, hardly listening. As long as he kept rubbing, I would be good.

"Okay, Mr. Shrink, what is the matter with me, then?" I asked blearily.

Man, he was _good_. I felt like someone had turned me into a limp noodle. All that stress was just draining away into those magic fingers.

He suddenly put a hand on top of my head and ruffled my hair, leaning over my shoulder. I saw him grin out of the corner of his eye, and I knew he was enjoying leading me on and messing with me like this.

"I think you're afraid of being alone. Kanda's not the most talkative, and for the most part you'll be left to yourself with no one to talk to and no one to distract you. You're kind of a social animal, Magnolia."

"Ugh, don't call me that."

"Ha! Like that'll stop me."

He suddenly stood up off the bed, snatching up one of the books he'd been reading before I'd intruded, and I flopped backwards on to the bed. My muscles, for once, felt like they were taking a vacation. Typically they worked overtime and they complained about it, too.

"I don't think it's about being alone," I sighed, staring at the ceiling.

The cracks in the ceiling made designs, and I remembered the nights when my brood of siblings and I would stare at the ceiling of our tenement, making up stories about the things we'd see, like cloud watching. I spread my arms out, how I normally would lay with all five of them laying on my arms. Ava would usually be practically perched on my head, and Lily would kick me all night. The twins would somehow work their way south in the night and cling to my leg, and then Violet would mutter until the words wormed their way into my dreams.

"Is that so?" Lavi muttered, preoccupied with his book, probably.

"Yeah. I think I'm afraid of not having someone to take care of."

Now that made him stop. His poor book had an intimate rendezvous with the floor, given the thump I'd heard. He did have a weakness! A weakness to being _wrong_.

Except... that wasn't often. Drat.

"Not having something to take care of…?" he asked me, staring at me with an incredulous look.

I propped myself up on my elbows and shrugged, playing with the frayed edges of the blanket.

"I've spent most of my life taking care of five tornadoes, trying to keep them fed, cleaned, and out of trouble and harm's way. It probably took fifteen years off my lifespan, but it was worth it. When each of them was accommodated with a fragment, I still had to take care of them. I mean, seriously, the twins can't fry an egg without causing a major fire hazard, and Lily would argue with her own shadow, if that were possible. Even Allen needs his hair combed every now and again by somebody. But now that they're gone, and with you out of the picture—"

"Are you trying to tell me that you need to take care of me?"

"No! No, no, no, I didn't have to take care of you—"

Kind of. He had a bad habit of leaving his laundry out, and then he never put his tooth brush back in the holder, and he left red hair in my hairbrush, and don't get me started on the mass of dishes and books…

"—but you were… helpful to my psyche," I explained, sighing to myself and sitting up all the way.

"And come on, let's face it. There isn't a soul on earth who could take care of Kanda. You can smell the crazy on him. He wears it like cologne," I quipped, leaning my head against my knee.

My other leg practically hit the other wall. He'd said something rather provocative to the other receptionist, and the first one had been… less than happy to be snubbed.

And then Lavi found himself sleeping in what amounts to being a cardboard box with wood panels glued on. My room was bigger than this, and I was modest with my cash.

"Speaking of taking care of you, next time let me talk to the receptionist. If there's anything I've learned about hotel jumping, it's that you kiss the behind of your receptionist until your lips grow numb."

Lavi and I stared at each other for a little bit, and then he suddenly laughed. It was true, though! He could laugh all he wanted, but he was going to end up sleeping in a coffin if he kept treating receptionists the way he did. At least, he was halfway there. He'd just kissed the behind of the wrong receptionist.

"Now that I think about it, you've pretty much hit the nail on the head," Lavi said, wiping a tear from his good eye. He shook his head, staring at the book he must've picked up off the ground.

Well, at least he was taking my advice.

He weighed the book along with his words, and I cocked my head to the side. I could see the little hamster working himself to death inside of his hollow head, but the hamster wasn't about to tell me what he was thinking. He wasn't just talking about my people advice.

"Thanks, Mag," he suddenly said, looking at me with a smile. "For taking care of me, too."

Whoa, whoa, whoa, back up a minute. He was saving my life more than I was taking care of his. And, come to think of it, I hadn't ever thanked him for saving my skin. I sort of took it for granted, but now that I think about it, he really didn't have to. Considering his actual occupation, he could leave me to rot and no one could say otherwise.

"Uh… you're… welcome?" I hesitantly said, standing up.

He stepped over to me, knocking the book into the palm of his hand over and over as he thought about what he was going to say. I stood up, preparing to leave.

"I think I might actually miss you," Lavi joked, green eye all a-sparkle, and I crossed my arms and cocked my hip, standing almost nose-to-shoulder with him considering my hieght.

"Might. Might actually miss me?" I asked, acting offended.

He played like he was thinking about it, and I pretended to punch him. He feigned pain and horror and flopped on the bed, covering his face. I rolled my eyes at his theatrics. He and Violet would have a riot. Or start one.

"That's exactly why I said might."

"Oh, please."

* * *

"You have to change it," Kanda demanded.

Bookman, busy with straightening all the pins in his acupuncture kit (for a Bookman must always be neat and tidy… unless it was with manuscripts), did not even blink as the swordsman stormed into his private quarters. He and Lavi had elected to take separate rooms, as Lavi had made the receptionist angry by commenting on the beauty of the other receptionist right next to her. Perhaps elected was not the best word… Forced was more accurate.

"I have no control over the selection of partners," Bookman said, his voice flat. He was about to straighten his final pin under the lamplight—

Kanda leaned against the desk threateningly, and five pins shifted over. Bookman hid his irritation with a sigh.

"Change it," the samurai coldly ordered.

Bookman looked up at him without ever moving his head. Finally, he closed his eyes and shook his head. He moved the pins again, carefully straightening everything. He took care to ignore Kanda, despite the icy cold glare drilling holes into the old man's head.

Finally, Kanda walked over to the window where wan light was spilling through. It was evening, and Kanda had seen Mag headed towards Lavi's room. Those two were stuck together like burrs to a jacket. It was hard to tell who was the burr and who was the jacket, though, because burrs were annoying and both of them were irritating.

If he was to pick, though, Lavi would be the burr. At least Mag did the laundry.

"What are you afraid of?" Bookman asked in his droning voice.

Kanda didn't answer.

"You have never asked for a reassignment before. Even when paired with Allen, you did not ask for a different partner or for a solo mission. You merely took it. Yet now, with this single woman, you have decided to plead," Bookman reiterated.

"I do not plead," Kanda corrected.

"And yet, I have the feeling that you are begging," Bookman stated, rolling his acupuncture kit.

Kanda continued to stare out the window, refusing to budge.

"You fear failure," Bookman told him.

The young man was a rock. From the next room, they could hear the sounds of laughter. It seemed that Lavi and Magnolia were getting along quite well.

Bookman was going to have to talk to Lavi about that. He knew how the boy felt about the woman – no, the girl—and her family. They were already more attached to the Exorcists than they needed to be, and now he wanted to be part of a family. That was unacceptable. Bookmen did not have families.

Though, he could not deny that he did not enjoy the family's company. The chaos they brought was the good kind.

"This mission's directive is not just to guard the Vatican's nobles. Your mission's directive, your personal mission, is to succeed in keeping this woman alive. And you're afraid to fail," Bookman sighed, putting his acupuncture set into his valise.

Kanda had yet to move. Bookman stared at him, noting the tension in his neck and his back. As a medically talented man, he could already see some of the wear that a life of war had put on the young man. He'd been fighting since he'd been a boy. That sort of thing was going to show somehow.

"Who did you promise?" Bookman grunted, standing up.

"What?" Kanda asked, the first true response.

"You heard me," Bookman said calmly.

Kanda remained silent, and that was all the answer Bookman needed.

Bookman shuffled towards the door, his little feet scooting along the floor. Despite his spryness for being such a tough old bird, he still took about four minutes to get across two feet of floor.

"Ava."

Bookman stopped in front of the door, staring at the woodwork. There was a silence yet again, something Kanda seemed to carry with him in spades in some magic bag. Bookman nodded and walked out the door.

* * *

**A/N: **'Allo! Back again~. It took me a long time to edit this (though my beta was very very timely), so I apologize for the overdue nature of this particular chapter.

I would like to ask the readers whether or not to continue with the discussion questions. After all, if you're not using them, what good are they to you or for me to write them? So if you would weigh in, that would be great.


	23. How To Drop A Bombshell

I woke up confused. For some reason I was on the bathroom floor, but I had no clear idea of how I got here or why there was blood on the floor. It didn't take me very long to figure out that I was in pain, though.

I curled up, grunting as my healing ribs seemed to stab me vehemently. My head was pounding, and it felt like someone had smacked my skull with a ball-peen hammer. My memory was very fuzzy, and I was struck with the fear that I had somehow managed to get drunk in the tub. I wouldn't put it past me to get drunk in the tub, and I also wouldn't put it past me to hit my head on something after getting out of the tub while drunk.

`I'd done weirder things whilst inebriated, let's put it that way.

Yet, I didn't smell alcohol (or the aroma of emptied stomach contents). The pain took over again, and I shivered. It was cold in here. How long had I been on the floor?

My memory was beginning to come back. Lavi and I had been talking for most of the night, sitting on the roof of the hotel where they had a little garden table. We'd been drinking something (I really hope it wasn't spirits- heaven knows what I said to him, and he'd remember every word), and finally I'd called it quits. But now, I was here on the floor and there was no clear recollection between point A and point B. It followed my typical pattern, but I had no light-headedness, so that wasn't it.

Someone knocked on the door, and I sharply looked up and instantly regretted it. I hissed as I tried to get myself off the floor, and I found myself teetering back and forth, clinging to my towel. I put my foot in a puddle of blood, and I almost gagged. I didn't even take my own bodily fluids well.

I croaked to the door, "Coming."

I held on to the counter (I could see where a splatter of blood was smeared across the edge- that solves that mystery), and I managed to reach the door.

"What do you want?" I squeaked, sounding like I'd downed a squirrel and stolen its voice.

"What've you been doing in there? I've had to pee for hours!" Lavi whined, and I sighed with relief. I hadn't been out all night. That made me feel a little better, but not by a whole lot. It was like the sweet cherry on top of a dog turd. Not nearly enough to turn this situation around.

"Sorry, just... I, uh..."

I was having a hard time focusing. I wasn't sure if that was because I'd hit my head or because my ribs were screaming at me all types of profanity through my nervous system. I leaned against the door, suddenly losing my balance.

I was really beginning to worry now. I should have regained my ability to at least stand up straight. Stringing together words was getting more and more difficult. I leaned back, trying to get my feet to listen to my brain, but my legs were having none of that. I suddenly landed on my butt on the floor, and I winced as my tailbone made a very intimate acquaintance with the tile.

"Mag? Maggie, are you alright?"

I scrunched my eyes shut, and I said, "Yeah! Just give me a minute."

Or three. Or ten. Maybe sixty.

I rolled on to my hip, and I slowly stood up with the help of the counter. I had had it with this bodily comedy of errors, and I sincerely wanted to get dressed and be able to see straight.

It didn't sound like Lavi was going to give me a minute, honestly. I could hear him running down the hall, and then there was a heated argument outside between a higher pitched voice and a low rumbling one. Oh great, he was going to get him involved. I already had a headache; I didn't need another migraine barking up my tree because I couldn't get Lavi off his back.

My feet seemed to be confused as to where they were, because one tripped over the other, and I was back to square one, this time on one knee. My sense of balance was better, but my toes were numb now, probably because of the tile floor. One hand was preoccupied with a towel, the other was gripping the counter like it was going to run away from me. My hair was wet and caked with blood, and I must have looked like Bloody Mary, if Bloody Mary had had a nice soak before they killed her.

There was a 'chk' noise at the door, and I saw a sword poke between the doorjamb and the door, severing the lock and splintering the wood.

I stared. You have got to be kidding me? That was not going to come out of my could have waited.

The sword was jiggled downward. Obviously not Kanda operating the sword, though I could only imagine the hell Lavi was about to receive for mishandling Mugen. It was a feat that he'd got it off the Japanese swordsman to begin with. I could hear more harsh words rhyming with 'duck' and 'fit' and 'shell', and my mother instinct gave me the insatiable urge to grab the nearest bar of soap for that dirty mouth. However, it was clear I wasn't in fit condition to dole out punishment for potty mouths, so I tried to straighten up.

The door banged open, and the boys stared at me. I smiled weakly.

"Sorry for taking so long. I had an accident," I explained lamely.

The two of them stared at me, and I knew it was bad. I could see that in the way they were looking at the floor and my hair. Lavi looked only a little horrified (not sure because of the bad hair day or the blood pouring out of my face) and Kanda was... well, he looked a little less pissed than he usually did, so I would overestimate and say he pitied me.

Lavi helped me out of the bathroom, leading me to my bed while Kanda went to go and get Bookman (because he wasn't about to clean all the blood that was in the bathroom).

"What happened?" Lavi asked calmly, digging through my things for clothes I could put on. I hung my head, realizing I was sitting here in a towel, half-soaked, disoriented, and it was more than likely I'd been drunk. Not my finest moment, especially if I'd gotten drunk in front of my only friend. Doing good, Maggie. Doing good.

If you couldn't tell, I am very very very afraid of being drunk.

Lavi didn't look like he'd been dipping into the sauce, though. This wasn't adding up to much, but my brain wasn't in shape to add two plus two, much less make sense of events.

"I can't remember. Just... we were sitting on the roof. And then I called it off for the night. What time is it?" I asked, staring at the clock on the wall. I could hardly make out the numbers, though, because it was so bright from the lit lantern.

"It's only eleven forty-five. Bookman was busy using my bathroom, so I went to see if you were in yours," he answered, laying a nightgown and underwear, at which point I immediately clamped my lips together and tried my hardest not to turn into a tomato. I wondered if it would be impolite for me to hide underneath my bed and never come out.

I hugged myself, turning my head away. I wasn't going to lie. I felt very ashamed.

"Hey, let me get a look at that, okay?" Lavi said, pointing to my head. I nodded without looking at him, almost feeling like crying all of a sudden. I felt vulnerable, physically and mentally, mostly because I was so out of it, and I couldn't help but notice that he was trying his hardest not to stare at my bare legs or my shoulders. It was awkward for both of us, especially because I was so averse toward physicalcontact.

I tried to distract myself. Eleven forty-five... I'd said I'd go take a bath at ten fifteen, and I'd fallen sometime around eleven. I'd been out cold for forty-five minutes. I couldn't be drunk. I can't have been, otherwise I still would be now.

Of course, the jury was out on that one, considering I could barely state a sentence.

Lavi turned my head up towards the lamp hanging from the ceiling, and I was careful to keep my eyes shut. He gently turned my head this way and that, and I let him, trying hard not to shoo him away. His fingers were dry and cool, but they probed the edge of the wound on my head, and I hissed.

"You really knocked yourself a good one. This is going to need stitches," Lavi muttered to himself.

"Stitches?!" I screeched, pulling my head away. "No no no no, no stitches. I've let you and Bookman sew up my legs and arms and who knows what else, but you are not going to seamstress your way all over my face!"

"Mag, it won't be that bad! It'll leave a little scar, but-"

"Well, it's not like I'm looking for a husband anyways," I huffed, crossing my arms.

"Aw, come on, don't be like that. We're good seamstresses! You won't even notice it was there -"

Suddenly, a rag flopped over Lavi's face, and an irate swordsman grumbled, "Bookman wants you to help clean the bathroom. She bled a lot."

I didn't think I could hang my head lower. I was wrong. This was almost as bad as the time I was in Phuket with these people. Bathrooms were just bad luck in my case.

While the Bookmen were cleaning the bathroom and Kanda was doing, well, nothing, I hastily dressed while sitting on the bed. I stared at my feet for a while, my head clearing a little bit more now that I was sitting still. It wasn't long before Bookman came out of the bathroom with his bucket and rag, and he walked over to me.

"I need to assess whether you have any brain damage," Bookman said to me bluntly.

Oh, I already had brain damage. I'd agreed to be an someone crazy does that.

"Alright. Fire away," I sighed.

I'd been through enough of these exams to know what he'd ask. I was notoriously clumsy, and I'd done this drill probably five times since training with Kanda. Head wounds were an occupational guarantee as his student.

"What is your full name?"

"Magnolia Valdis."

"What is your occupation?"

"Monster-chaser and deadweight."

There was a moment of silence as Bookman stared at me, unamused. Somewhere, I heard a snicker that was suspiciously familiar. I resisted the urge to lob a boot at it.

"Fine. An Exorcist."

"What was your date of birth?"

"June 2, 1878."

"How many fingers?"

He held up two gnarled fingers, yellowed claw-like fingernails protruding past his fingertips. If I'd been well enough, I would've shuddered. No one should be allowed to have those fingernails.

"Two fingers," I sighed.

Bookman leaped atop the nightstand by the bed and pulled the lamp off its stand, and then he lowered it over my eyes, checking both. I squinted at the brightness, but apparently I passed that test, because he put the lamp back. Deciding I was in good mental health (or as good as mental health gets for a person who fights devil creatures all day), he released me from his probing questions and went on his way.

"Keep an eye on her. She has a concussion from striking her head against the counter. I wouldn't doubt that she's confused and a little dizzy. Don't let her get up or do anything strenuous for a little while. Any sort of activity might incur another accident," Bookman commanded Lavi.

Hoo boy. I get a personal servant to wait on me hand and foot. Most people would be okay with that, but I honestly feel guilty making people do things for me.

Of course... considering it was Lavi...

His shoulders drooped and he whined, "Fine. But why me?"

Glad to know he was so willing to serve.

"Because Kanda would more than likely kill her, and the Order wouldn't take that kindly," Bookman grumbled on his way out the door. "I will be back with needles and thread. Clean up her head wound. And do not agitate her, idiot apprentice."

"Since when do I ever agitate her?"

"On a daily basis."

With that, he'd hobbled out the door, just leaving the two of us. Lavi went into the bathroom, and I closed my eyes, listening to the sound of running water. My stomach was tap-dancing on top of my intestines, and my brain was doing the tango with my spinal cord. My body was having riotous fun without my consent, and I was none too happy about it.

Lavi came over with a bowl of warm water and a rag, and I heard him kneel by the bed. He was close enough that I could smell him, the aroma of paper and ink and maybe something else, cold like mint. Every sound he made was like a pin driven into my brain, and his smell was almost overwhelming now. It was comforting, in a weird way, though. I was used to it.

"Do you remember anything else now that you're sitting still?" he asked, beginning to wipe away the blood from my forehead, starting from the far side and edging closer to the actual wound.

Because I'd been lying on my side, it had tracked down my nose and face. I scrunched my face as he approached the wound, which was very tender. Sheesh, there was no way it was a counter that did this to my face. It felt like an elephant tried to play golf with my nose as a tee.

"No, just that I had been in the tub. Everything else is foggy. I didn't drink, did I?" I asked guiltily, afraid of the answer.

"No, we didn't drink. What makes you ask?" Lavi asked, and though I couldn't see him through my eyelids, I could feel him giving me that questioning look. He always did when I asked seemingly random questions.

"Just... wondering," I said, my voice jumping an octave.

It was a wonder I managed to lie through an entire week. My voice was a better truth serum than any sort of potion the Science Department could cook up. Still, he didn't ask anything more. For that I was grateful. Of all the people in the Order, he was the one most sensitive to my history. He didn't ask about my past, and I didn't ask about his.

Even better, the two of us generally didn't talk about my... former iniquities. Lavi had only just learned of my distaste of spirits, but I wasn't about to give away my reasons for why. In the same vein, I didn't ask about why he jumped at the pop of guns, or go glassy-eyed staring at soldiers, or talked in his sleep.

"Mmmm. Well, I've got good news for you. This looks worse than it actually is. Head wounds bleed a lot," Lavi reported, scrubbing around the sides of the wound. I winced, finally opening my eyes.

"Ouch! Gentle, gentle!"

"Hey. I don't have the mother's touch you have, okay? Calm down, it's just a gash."

"Oh, just a gash. Because it's normal for me to have a valley digging through my forehead."

He was trying, though. I could see it in his face as he attempted to be ginger with the blood clots around the wounds, swiping at my hair. He took his sweet time, though, his eye drifting to my face now and again, and me giving a weak thumbs up to assure him I hadn't died. He went back to his cleaning without a word.

We were quiet as he continued to clean the wound on my forehead, the silence dragging. We were aware we were alone, but it was different from how we'd been sitting on the roof. This wasn't companionable. Things were a little tense, especially because of what we'd been talking about prior to my... accident.

Lavi had been telling me that Bookman and he had had an... argument, if it could be called that.

I call it a shouting match, but my definitions apparently didn't apply to this instance...even though I could hear them across the hallway. It had sounded like they were talking in snake hisses. Guiltily, I'd eavesdropped a little, and I left when Lavi's voice began to crack, on the verge of tears.

Bookman thought Lavi was too attached to the Order, as always. From what I could gather, Lavi and Bookman had had this conversation several times. To me, it was surprising that Lavi hadn't made friends until now. After all, he was eighteen years old. It was about time he got some actual social interaction with real, live human beings who were decent. Seeing war all your life couldn't be good for the mind, and I'd already experienced some of that secondhand.

But those were his demons, and some people get awfully possessive of them. He'd already shown he was touchy about the eyepatch. No need to dig up his dead dogs.

Because he might start digging up mine.

"Are you feeling alright?" he asked stiffly, hesitantly looking at me.

I got the feeling that he was trying (and ultimately failing) at his duties as a Bookman.

"Well... I just bashed my forehead into a counter. So I'm not feeling so hot. But it's not getting any worse," I sighed, finally cracking open an eye. The light was almost too bright, but I put that down to the concussion.

"I can't believe you were lying there for almost an hour. None of us knew," Lavi muttered to himself, continuing with his mothering.

Typically this was my job, but more and more it seemed I was being the mothered instead of the mother.

"It was an accident," I said. "Don't beat yourself up... too badly."

He smirked at my last comment, and he slapped the damp rag on my head.

"Don't go getting a big head."

Bookman came in, and I gripped the sheets inadvertently. Aw, crap. Here comes my least favorite part of everything.

Stitches. I could handle most anything. Reattach bones? You betcha, slap those bad boys back together. Bruises? Hot water bottles are miracles in clay form. Concussion? Just shake it off, you'll be fine. Fell off a building and into a dumpster? Done it more than once, and I'll learn to pay attention to rooftop gaps next time.

Stitches? Someone give me a shot of morphine and finger of whiskey and hold my hand while I scream for my mommy.

Bookman shooed Lavi out of the room, and the redhead complained all the way out. I gave the biggest pout I could manage to him as he left, and all he did was shoot me an apologetic thumbs up. I collapsed back on the bed in dejection.

Bookman worked quietly before breaking the silence:

"Magnolia, I need to have a talk with you..."

* * *

Lavi stood at the door. He'd been told to wait on the female Exorcist (this seemed to be a preoccupation of his, either by default or by choice), and now his mentor didn't want him to do his freaking job. For Pete's sake, it was a simple stitch job! And it wasn't even on anything revealing!

Obviously, something was up. And he had an idea what it was.

Bookman had singled out almost every single one of his core team. He'd talked to Allen, he'd talked to Lenalee, he'd talked to Reever and Komui and the Science Department, he'd talked to Kanda. Piece by piece, his entire social sphere was being picked away by the old man, and he knew it was for his own good, but man if it didn't hurt.

Because he could see it on their faces when they looked at him.

_You're going to leave soon. You're going to go ahead of us, to someplace else. You have bigger duties, bigger than ours here, to record everything for the future. You're going to do great things, but you have to let us go in the process. You don't need us, not really. We can only hurt you. So we will let go of you... because we love you._

It was their choice whether or not they decided to abandon him, but he knew that the seed had been planted. He'd been reverting back to his mask, trying to hide behind it, trying to find it again. The only person who didn't treat him differently was Yuu, but that was only because no one could make Kanda care about something unless he wanted to care about it. He acted the same- hitting him in the head and telling him to shut up and making mean jokes and calling him an idiot.

But Lavi didn't mind. Because it meant he was still somebody.

To Maggie, he was still somebody, and Bookman was going to try and take that away.

He put his ear to the doorjamb, desperately attempting to listen.

"I think you understand why I'm here."

"Kind... yeah I... but I guess...explain."

He could only get bits and pieces of Mag's voice. She was quieter than Bookman, didn't project as well unless someone was doing something they weren't supposed to, like putting salt in the sugar container.

He hadn't realized she could be so loud. She'd ruined the whole joke.

"You must understand, Magnolia, that we are not part of this war."

"Yeah."

He dropped to his knee to look into the key hole. He could barely make out Bookman's silhouette. Next to it, he could see Mag's hand gripping the sheets, tightening in time with the motion of Bookman pulling on stitches, and he winced in sympathy.

"What are you do-" Kanda asked scathingly from the end of the hall, but Lavi just gave him a wide-eyed, "don't you even dare" look, as well as a raised finger. He put it to his lips, signalling silence, and Kanda rolled his eyes in a long-suffering manner, returning to his room.

"I know you are good friends with him. I don't wish to mar that friendship."

Well... if those weren't blatant lies.

"Yes...?"

"But I believe it best if you kept in mind that we may be called to leave at any time in the near future. And I understand that would be painful for both parties."

There was a tense silence. If Lavi didn't know better, he suspected that Bookman almost sounded... sad.

"I understand. You... me to ...op talking ...im."

"That is not what I was implying. But he is my apprentice. I don't want to make this harder for him than it already is."

Lavi looked down at the floor. He bit his lip, chewing his thoughts over as he closed his eyes tight. Perhaps it hadn't been right of him to think of Bookman with such... bitterness. Lavi had a higher calling than mucking around in blood and weapons... and people.

"Yes... I apologize. I'll... try...ake...it easier."

"I greatly appreciate your cooperation, Magnolia."

"Just... call me Mag. Really."

There was the sound of footsteps as Bookman got up to leave, and Lavi quietly stood to get out of the way of the door opening. Lavi looked into the room over Bookman's head to stare at Mag, but her head was turned, no doubt because of the new stitches she'd received.

"Lavi," Bookman stated insistently.

Lavi looked down at his diminutive teacher, tightening his eye. Bookman stared back, shutting the door behind him resoundingly. The two of them stood across from each other, tension increasing like a harp string continually being pulled to its breaking point.

"There is a reason for this, Lavi," Bookman said wearily, beginning to walk back to his room.

"I know, but that doesn't make it any less painful," Lavi spat at his teacher's back. "Why her? I can't at least have one person? For a little while?"

"You know your place."

"Yeah, to watch everyone around me die while I stand by and fiddle with my notebook."

"You had never complained about it before."

"That's because I didn't have frie-... people."

They trekked down the hall, Lavi easily keeping up with the small man's strides.

"Look. This is for your own good, Lavi. She's doomed besides," Bookman sighed nonchalantly, fiddling with the key to his room.

"They're all doomed. We're all doomed. The world ends, we go ka-blooey- What does it matter?" Lavi groaned, dramatically throwing up his hands and shaking his head in exasperation.

Bookman, however, could not take much more of this. Lavi didn't know how much it hurt him, either. The boy couldn't see past his nose at his master's pain. Bookman had grown fond of them, too. And he knew how it would end.

"She's dying," Bookman snapped sharply at him, turning on a heel to stare at his apprentice.

Lavi stopped, staring at him as if he'd been punched. His face contorted into a variety of facial expressions, from shock to confusion to introspection.

"Wait...what-?"

"I'm surprised you haven't noticed, apprentice. This should have opened your eyes more than anything," Bookman grumbled, pushing the door to his room open, throwing his medical bag on to the bed.

Lavi followed him in, still perplexed.

"What do you mean, 'she's dying'?" he asked quietly, keeping in mind her room was down the hall. "What does...What... Why didn't you tell her? You mean right now? Her head wound wasn't..."

Bookman stood at the window, and for one of the few times Lavi noticed, Bookman looked tired, his back bent and his head leaned forward as the clouds passed over the moon.

"It's not the head wound, is it?"

Bookman shook his head, continuing to stare out the window.

"What's the matter with her?" Lavi asked quietly, his voice small.

Lavi'd lost so many. He'd thought he'd lost Allen and... and Lenalee and Kanda... They'd always come back, and he had renewed faith in their resilience.

But he'd also seen Finders go, and he'd seen Exorcists go. He'd seen scientists kick it, and he'd seen foot soldiers die in all sorts of gruesome ways. He'd seen civilians die, in the wrong place at the wrong time. He'd seen the light in their eyes fade.

But they hadn't been one of his.

"You know her former occupation?"

Lavi reluctantly nodded. He'd honestly felt a tad guilty, looking up her file, but he was naturally curious. He knew that she knew, and sometimes he could see she was angry and ashamed about it. That was trust he would never be able to earn back. Still, he hoped that the knowledge would allow him to better help her in the future.

He was aware that he wasn't the only one with nightmares.

"Have you not noticed? Her medical history? How she walks with her feet slapping the ground, her neurotics? Her mood swings or how she's constantly paranoid?" Bookman asked. "Or did you not want to notice?"

Lavi collapsed on the bed, thinking hard. Mood swings... her nightmares... her clumsiness... He'd put that down to her past, her mentality, and her physical ineptitude. He had never thought of them as symptoms of something larger.

"She will die soon. Not this year. Not next year, even. But soon. She has few years left, and she doesn't even know it. I thought it better to... let her enjoy the illusion of immortality a while longer," Bookman muttered quietly.

He was fiddling with a needle between his fingers. Lavi came to stand by him, staring at the city of Boston. America- the land of opportunity. Sometimes he wondered if he would've lived here, if he'd gotten the chance to live something like a normal life.

"You still haven't told me what's the matter," he said in a murmur, his eye softening as he looked at the old man. He knew, though. He knew.

"Syphilis. She's in the late stages, and it has begun affecting her nervous system. I plan on telling Kanda, to prepare him, but I want to be sure. I took a blood sample while I was at it. I want the Order to look at it before I tell her," Bookman stated in a stiff manner. Yet, Lavi could see the hard set to his jaw.

Lavi looked out, but he wasn't seeing the city.

"What are we going to tell her family?" Lavi breathed, unable to take it in. "What are we going to tell her?"

Bookman looked at Lavi almost sardonically, an edge of 'you deserve it' with a hint of regret.

"That is for you to figure out. Because you will be telling her."

* * *

I saddled up the horse, busying my mind with work. I must've impressed Kanda, because he honestly had nothing to say when he saw all the horses tacked, packed, and ready to go for the journey to Montreal. Of course, Kanda's default mode was typically silence, so it was just as likely he was unhappy as he was happy.

Actually, I'm not sure if Kanda would even understand the word 'happy', much less feel it.

"Magnolia, here is some pain medication for your ribs and your head. Only two tablets a day, or else you will find yourself dragged behind your horse," Bookman warned as he hobbled over and handed me a package.

I stuffed it into one of my saddlebags and thanked him. He bowed and hobbled away, perfunctory as usual.

The street was alive with horses and carts, everyone ready to head out for the day. I'd been allowed to sleep in (oh, there is a God), and I'd only had to run about a kilometer(again, I concede the prior point that a God exists), so I had enough energy to get everything ready. Lavi and Bookman had bought all our supplies, I'd packed them all, and Kanda had lugged them down the stairs. The sun was bright and shining, the birds were tweeting in the trees, Lavi was trying harder than usual to annoy me, and Kanda was... well, himself.

"You're gonna have lots of fun in Canada!" Lavi practically shouted in my ear, vibrating right next to me. I leaned away to save my eardrums from implosion.

"Yeah," I sighed, glad for his enthusiasm. Someone had to be happy about this arrangement. "I'm sure I will. Especially with my own personal storm cloud to accompany me."

I shot a look at Kanda. Luckily, I wasn't in earshot.

He glared very suddenly at me, and I turned away sweating bullets. Okay, maybe I was within earshot.

Only two weeks. I had to remember; this would only take two weeks, and then the nightmare ends.

"Hey, at least he'll keep you safe. You won't have to worry about the Akuma," Lavi offered.

"Unless I'm too slow to keep up."

"... Well, it's a good thing you've been running every day."

"Lavi!" Bookman shouted. "It's time to go! Leave them be."

The old man had somehow maneuvered himself onto his own horse, and I was honestly questioning the laws of physics, because there shouldn't be any conceivable way for him to get up there without assistance. It didn't help that the horse was a Clydesdale.

"How did he-" I asked, pointing.

"I've long since stopped asking," Lavi sighed, ruffling my hair.

"Ow ow ow! Careful, I've got stitches!"

"Oh! I'm sorry! I forgot about that," Lavi apologized, laughing nervously. I winced as I gingerly rubbed around the stitches, and I sighed.

We looked at each other, but he averted his gaze, a smile dying on his face. Lately he'd been... oddly distant. Perhaps Bookman had talked to him again, after he'd talked to me?

Honestly it had offended me. I understand that Lavi had duties to his 'clan' and whatnot, but by the Lord, I wasn't going to let him suffer by himself in this war. He'd seen enough. If there was anything worse than being in a war, it's being ignored while you're in it. Still, it seemed that maybe Bookman had gotten to him more than me. I wasn't prone to being frightened or intimidated awayfrom the people I love. And if there was anyone who needed love...

I couldn't imagine what his life was like. He'd explained it to me, and I still couldn't believe it. War after war after war... One was bad enough for me.

"I guess I should get going. Kanda's probably halfway there by now," I muttered, looking for him. Of course, he was already at the gate, ready to leave. I wasn't surprised. Patience wasn't his friend.

There was a moment where Lavi and I looked at each other, and there was some kind of sadness hanging over us. It was the same one that had shadowed my siblings as they'd left one by one on their first mission without me. Lavi had become something like a part of my family. I was going to feel awfully lonely.

"Here, let me help you onto your horse," Lavi offered, and I let him help me mount my steed.

The day was steadily warming up, and sweat was beginning to run down my back. Pain kept shooting down my hip, but I had landed on the tile pretty hard. Not to mention, all that running had my feet feeling battered. Lavi had been nice enough to run with me and slow down, but Kanda... was less kind. He drove a punishing pace, and I was too scared not to keep up.

I was glad Lavi had the forethought to help me get into the saddle, otherwise I probably would've made it halfway up and then found myself without the energy to continue.

The horse, to its credit, did not buck or whinny. If anything, it kind of just rolled its eyes at me as if to say 'amateur'. I honestly couldn't care less. As long as it wasn't a camel or an elephant, I could handle it. Horses didn't make me seasick - or, rather, land-sick. Nevertheless, that didn't mean I wasn't wary.

Anything with more than two legs couldn't be up to much good. With four legs, you're crafty. With six legs, you're disgusting. With eight legs, I will kill you with the nearest household appliance heavy enough to squish you.

"Well, I'll see you, I guess," I said, smiling a little, hoping for closure.

"Oh! Wait, before I forget," he said, digging around in his coat pocket.

I groaned and leaned backwards. If we didn't hurry, I was going to have make my way to Montreal by myself. Kanda looked like he was ready to burn down the gates to Hell, much less the road to Canada.

"Here."

He handed me a bag, a cloth bag I recognized. My face fell, and I could feel tears pricking my eyes. Oh Lord, not this again.

"I'm ready this time!" Lavi said with a massive smile, handing me a hankie.

I tried my hardest not to look like an utter fool, sobbing on my horse over a bag of chocolate (and maybe the fact that I was leaving a good friend for an unknown amount time - but that was only a small part, right?). My bottom lip quivered as he gave me that goofy smile, and I realized that I was going to miss this little treat after every mission.

And the late night talks. And the horrible, punny jokes. And the pranks. And the red hair in my brush. Cooked breakfast every morning (because heaven knows, Kanda was no cook). Telling stories... speaking in French around people and making up stupid stories about them...slapping him for said stories when they got horribly raunchy...

This was not helping my composure. Magnolia, pull yourself together!

I took the chocolates with an unsteady smile. I opened my mouth, realized I didn't know what to say, and I pressed my lips together as I held a hand to my mouth. Finally, I stuffed them into a saddlebag and said, "Thank you."

He patted my knee and gripped it gently before saying, "Just... call me when you need me. Alright?"

His eye was knowing, and I squirmed under his gaze. He'd been flip flopping all morning between giving me the cold shoulder and acting like I was never coming back, giving me mixed signals. It was as if he wanted so badly to say something. If he did, he'd better spit it out, because I was on an emotional gallop as it was.

"Hey! We don't have all day!" Kanda shouted from the gate. I was surprised he hadn't kicked it down yet. I was very tempted to give him an irate hand gesture, but the mother in me refused. It wouldn't change anything anyhow.

We looked at each other again. He gripped my hand tightly just as I was about to motion forwards. I stared at him with a questioning look, unsure. He held on as if I was about to launch off the end of a cliff.

"...Prends soin de toi," Lavi answered seriously, looking at me from the ground with a glassy eye.

_Take care of yourself._

"...Oui. Au revoir, Lavi," I said, unable to keep the bewilderment out of my voice.

_Sure. Until I return, Lavi._

He let go of my hand, my fingers slipping across dry skin, reluctant. Our fingertips seemed to linger for a bit, unwilling to pull away. I didn't want to leave, and he didn't want me to either.

I began towards the gate, feeling his eyes burn holes into my back. When I pulled up to Kanda, he had a sour look, probably from having to sit and wait.

"Che," he spat as he went out the gate, not meeting my gaze. I wasn't surprised at his irritation. I myself was irritated as well, but for vastly different reasons. As we rode into the street, I looked behind me.

Lavi stood in the drive, Bookman's Clydesdale behind him, both the old man and the young apprentice giving me the same, thousand yard stare.

I waved. They didn't wave back.

* * *

**A/N: **I seem to be on a roll with the chapters lately! I'm working on a backlog of chapters, so hopefully this will continue at a regular basis. I've already got ideas, and they'll be coming out soon, hopefully. Obviously, the focus of the next chapters will be Maggie and Kanda, and I hope you're all psyched for that!

My endless praise to my beta. Give a digital clap for karina001 for being patient and working tirelessly. She's a great lady.

Thank you, random Guest, for giving me a review! It warmed the atria of my heart. So happy you enjoy the story! I'm very flattered. Don't worry about constructivism- just say what you've got on your mind.

Thank you, new subscribers Willjaceherondale and subscriber/favoriteer hahaha sounds ingenuous! To the latter, I find your name interesting and amusing, and to the former, I vaguely recall the reference of that name, but I can't quite place it. Anyhow- I am thankful for your support!

Review, subscribe, favorite: be sure to leave some love for the author. Speak your mind, keep reading, and show you love the story! Of course, you don't have to if you don't feel comfortable with it...

God bless you and keep reading!


	24. How To Speak French And Anger Trees

"Okay. Again. Je m'appelle..."

"Jer... map ell..."

"Um...No. Not even close."

Kanda rubbed his eyes, sighing heavily through his nose while I washed the laundry. I wasn't about to let him roam the streets of Montreal in disgusting, sweaty shirts and pants, and I couldn't stand the road grime on mine either. We had camped by a river to give them a good soaking and beating. So far, I'd done almost half the load.

I looked at him, amused, as he fought with the words again. Not so easy to wrestle your tongue as it is to wrestle a girl.

"Jer..."

"Try it softer. Je. Like when you say the word 'German', but not as hard. And with more of an 'uh' sound."

He gave me a bit of a glare, but he took a deep breath. Sure, he was an insufferable pain in my rear who couldn't hold a conversation with a human being, but he was a trooper.

He'd been working on this phrase since we got up this morning.

"Je..."

"Good! You got the first part down."

Kanda looked mildly surprised at me. Oh, something he'd never considered: encouragement. Because, you know, if he were an actual human being with a beating, fleshy heart he might've thought that was a good part of his curriculum.

Okay, I'm being unfair. Honestly, he'd been doing pretty well since we'd started our little journey. I was just cranky because I'd had to do a lot of stuff through the day with Kanda painstakingly butchering the French language. A sword and pithy comments does not an intellectual make. And considering Kanda talked more with gestures and grunts than actual words, his mastery of another language was... lacking.

However, he'd managed a few simple phrases, a hodgepodge of words, and he could read simple sentences, though he couldn't speak naturally yet. I'd tried immersion techniques, which had personally helped me learn. But after he'd destroyed a saddle bag, several small saplings, and a plate that had been in the wrong place at the wrong time, I decided that if we wanted to keep our things intact, we should stick to something less... intensive. We were on a phrase by phrase basis now, considering I'd figured he could mostly read French, if he squinted hard and sounded out some of the words to himself, though he tended to pronounce the letters that were supposed to be silent.

Of course, the fact he wanted to learn French was a feat in itself. I almost had to retrieve my jaw from the road when he'd asked at the beginning of the trip. When I had agreed - because, let's be honest here: do I want to disagree with a man who could chop off my limbs faster than I could say 'dismemberment'? - I also asked his reasoning behind picking up the language.

"I don't like to be left out of the loop," Kanda had grumbled, more disgruntled than usual.

Just thinking about it now, I winced at the amount of passive aggression dripping off of him. I hadn't thought he'd be the type to snip and snipe, but I was apparently wrong. He was the master of all forms of negativity.

His sour attitude might be attributed to Lavi and I speaking in French to each other when there were other people around. We were generally polite in public and didn't converse in a different language, but when we were around Kanda and Bookman, we slipped into our typical French. Sometimes I didn't even notice. It was towards the last few days together that Bookman insisted we speak English or else I'd forget how to speak it entirely. Lavi and I sort of... didn't listen, tiptoeing phrases under our breath like kids passing notes in class.

Kanda probably didn't appreciate that.

"Je m'appelle Kanda," he said, with a thick accent and no inflection, but with enough precision to be understood.

I looked up in surprise, and I clapped my soapy hands with an impressed look. He smirked at me, and he sat down on a rock nearby as I slapped one of his wet shirts on the slab of rock jutting out into the river. I held it up, noting the number of bullet holes.

"Um... what are these?" I asked skeptically, eying him through one of the holes.

His triumphant smirk fell off his face faster than pants off a sailor after ten months at sea. He frowned deeply, snatched his shirt, and he muttered, "None of your business."

"Did you get shot?!" I asked incredulously. "Are you hurt?"

"No," he said, stomping back towards the camp, and I doggedly got up and followed him.

"Okay, I want an explanation. I've been washing your shirts, and all of them either have patched holes, gashes that turned the shirt to ribbons, or tatters," I hounded, ticking off his 'offenses' on each finger as I stated them. "So, either you're almost dead, you've been dead and you didn't stay that way, or you like to take out your anger on your shirts."

He stopped in his tracks, and I almost crashed into his back. He spun on a heel, towering over me, and my stomach tied itself into a bow-line knot. I swallowed, seeing the no-nonsense look on his face. His good mood had definitely fled the country for greener pastures.

He cocked his head to the side, and answered with a smile that was more tooth than humor, "The last one. I don't like the shirts the Order gives me. I'm trying to get the message across."

With that, he headed back to camp, and I had the distinct urge to grip my throat and thank God my head was still attached to my shoulders.

* * *

"Again," he said.

"Can I take a break?" I panted, dying on the ground. At least, I felt like I was dying.

"Unless you can keep standing after I shove you, no, you can't," Kanda said, prodding my side with his sword sheath.

I stared at the sky, pinpricks of light shining through the clouds with the moon filtering through slightly, gossamer and pretty. I was almost sad I couldn't enjoy it, considering I was wheezing on the ground, holding a bruised arm.

We were practicing dodging and holding ground, two of my better techniques. I was a coward, and I was a rabbit, so fleeing and standing stock still in fear were specialties of mine. However, for the holding ground exercises, I had to be blindfolded, considering I wouldn't actually know from which way an attack was going to come, and it would be a good idea to know how to take a hit without hurting myself, or at least dig my heels in and not let my opponent knock me over.

I usually did pretty good for the first few hits. After the fifth or sixth, I started to buckle. I was on my twentieth.

Yeah, I was only a little tired.

I put the blindfold on, and I got back up. I took my stance, shaking the jitters out of my hands. It wasn't like I was about to be shoved over from a random direction by a one hundred and seventy pound man. No need to worry. As long as I could keep lying to myself, everything would be good.

I heard the sound of twigs crunching under foot, and I turned my head a little, trying to pinpoint the noise. Kanda didn't hold back in these exercises, so if he made a mistake, it was a genuine one. I leaped forward, barely missing a ramming samurai. I back pedalled as I heard him head towards me, and I frantically tried to tell where he was coming from. The whistle of air and the sound of breathing tipped me off, and I dodged backwards and to the left. A flash of wind told me I was correct in my assumption, and I panted.

Yes! Twice in a row! Doing good so far. I honestly felt a little bit proud of myself, and I waited for the next attack. My head turned to the noise of a pile of leaves skittering... just as I heard a twig break somewhere behind me. Crap... which one was the person and which was the wind?

I ran forward instead -

There was a blinding pain in my forehead, and everything spun as I landed on my back.

I lay there, a small whine issuing from my mouth. A nervous giggle escaped my chest, and I tried not to panic. God, did my brains spill out the front of my head? What happened? Surely Kanda didn't whack me in the face with Mugen. He wasn't that heartless.

I couldn't even think straight it hurt so much.

The blindfold was pulled off my face, and I stared at Kanda, who was kneeling over me. I'd say he looked a little worried, but there were two of him in front of me, so I couldn't tell.

"Tch."

"Did you hit me?" I drawled, dabbing my forehead. I yanked back, and I winced. Nope. Nope. Nope. I just had my head stitched. I'm not doing it again. Especially if he's my doctor; Kanda has the bedside manner of a hungry wolf.

"No. You ran into a tree."

"Well, that's what you get for blindfolding me."

"Hm. Not my fault you have no spatial memory."

He suddenly grabbed my hand, and I let him help me off the ground. The world spun, and I had to grip his arm to stop from tumbling face first into the stupid tree that gave me the goose egg in the first place.

"Is it bad?" I asked hesitantly, looking at him through slitted, pained eyes. Just rolling my eyes hurt. There went my major form of facial expression.

"Yes. Irreparable. You might as well put a paper bag on your head right now and save yourself the trouble," Kanda quipped, with what I thought was a small smirk.

Of course, I couldn't be sure because it was dark, I'd just rammed into a tree with enough force to shake the Earth's core, and Kanda didn't do faces.

I mean did he have any other facial expressions? Like, was he a robot with only two settings: snarky and angry?

He left me to make my way back to the camp, and I stumbled after him, trying to keep from ramming into any more vengeful plants. Perhaps this was karma for using them as target practice. I groaned as I held my head in my hands. I wasn't bleeding, but I felt like an army of dwarves were stomping around inside my skull with hobnail boots. I sat myself down on a log by the fire as Kanda pulled out a flask and poured something into a tin cup. He handed it to me, and I took it.

The minute the burning liquid hit me in the mouth, I spat it out in surprise on the fire, making it flare, and I flailed backwards away from the pillar of flame, yelping. I landed on my back, coughing and with eyes stinging.

"You handed me whiskey!" I spluttered.

He stared at me with a genuinely questioning look. So he does have other facial expressions.

"And?"

"Whiskey is - oof! - a sign of - of - _of low moral character!_" I stammered, trying to regain some of my dignity. I can't say I was successful. I stood unsteadily, tasting the alcohol on my tongue like a little devil playing with my heart strings.

What I wouldn't give for a drink right now. My firstborn would be in some serious danger.

"I thought it'd help with the mountain on your forehead. And maybe put you to sleep while I was at it," Kanda taunted, putting the little flask back into his saddle bag. I'd never taken him for the kind to drink, but I also hadn't figured he couldn't swim or that he liked gardening.

I'd caught him admiring the plants while on our way down the road. No one can disguise the look of fondness towards greenery, not from me. Lily got the same look on her face the minute she saw anything remotely plant-like.

"I can take care of that myself, thank you," I huffed, a little irritated.

He hadn't asked whether or not I took spirits, but then again, I couldn't expect him to infer every detail of me. Still, he could've warned me.

I sat back down with a sigh.

"You're doing a bang-up job," he retorted, drinking from a water bottle and pulling off a piece of beef jerky.

I took a small mirror out of my bag and stared at my face. I'd have a massive blue and yellow bruise by tomorrow. It'd look like a squid tried to make love to my head. I sighed to myself.

"Does it really look bad?" I asked.

He just stared at me. Yeah, it was bad.

I groaned as I prodded it gently. If I put a heated bottle on my face, it would reduce the swelling and pain, but I couldn't balance a bottle on my head all night. Deciding it was a lost cause, I put away the mirror and sighed.

The two of us went through our night time ritual, Kanda polishing Mugen into practical radiance in his tent and me... surveying the area.

"For God's sake, Maggie, there is nothing out there."

"It never hurts to check, alright!?"

I smacked the bushes with a stick, keeping an eye out on the wilderness. My gut cramped, but I ignored it, considering it was cramping an awful lot now that I was perpetually in Kanda's presence. Honestly, my stomach could detect his location to the inch, I'd been around him so much.

"Mag, stop beating the bushes and let me sleep."

"Oh, you _sleep?"_

I peeked through the high brush into the darkness. An owl hooted, and I ducked instinctively. My heart quickened, but I tried to keep my composure. Sighing deeply, I threw my stick into the wild to be free with its kind, and I began to walk back to the camp, semi-satisfied that I wasn't going to be eaten by a rabid wolf pack while Kanda snoozed.

The hairs on the back of my neck rose, and I looked over my shoulder. The shadows were too dark for me to see anything with definition, but I swore I saw a pair of eyes for all of a moment. I rubbed my arms and walked back to my tent. The fire was glowing in the embers, and I banked half of it with dirt. The rest would peter itself out.

"Thank God," I heard Kanda mumble as he turned over, and I resisted the urge to make a face in his direction.

"Dormez bien. Sleep well." If you sleep at all, you inhuman, sour, miserly...

"Hm."

I slid into my tent, pinned closed the door, and tucked myself in for the night.

And then my golem rang. I suppressed a groan, knowing full well that it was Vi making her daily call. I made it a point to answer any and all calls from my siblings, no matter what time of day, or location - nothing like talking about blueberry muffin recipes while slaughtering demons. I tapped the face of the golem as it fluttered.

"Mhm?"

"Hey! Just wanted to check up on you."

"You caught me at a good time. I'm in my tent. I just smacked into a tree not thirty minutes ago."

"Forehead first?"

"How did you guess?"

"Does Kanda have anything to do with it?"

"A little, yeah."

"Do I need to beat him up for you?"

I looked wistfully in his tent's general direction. Thinking of Violet attempting to take on Kanda gave me stomach cramps. It was like pitting a Yorkie against a polar bear.

"Nah, I think I can take him," I assured her.

She laughed on the other end with a giggling snort, and I rolled my eyes at the unladylike habit. Heaven help a man who can make her laugh.

We talked to each other for nearly an hour. She was in Boston with Allen, and she'd met up briefly with Lavi. The two of them had pranked Allen in spectacular fashion with caramel 'apples'. Onions were an awfully convincing substitute, at least in appearance. Allen had no idea what hit him.

"I wish I'd set up a camera, because his expression was hilarious! You should'a been there... I wish you could've seen him."

I smiled a little, staring at the golem as it fluttered in front of me. I missed Violet a lot. She was annoying, and she caused trouble, but she gave my life a little bit of light and kept things from getting too serious. Yet, there was something in her voice. I knew Vi like I knew my own name. There was a weird hollowness in the story, like she was tiptoeing around something, hoping I wouldn't notice. When she was little, she'd do that to hide the fact she got into trouble stealing again.

"So you guys are doing okay?" I pressed.

She was quiet for a minute, and I sensed tension. So it wasn't exactly Paradise on her end. I braced myself.

"I saw a guy die, yesterday."

I blinked, opening my mouth and realizing I had nothing to say. I knew that she'd eventually encounter death personally, but that didn't take any of the force out of that punch. As an Exorcist, it was unavoidable. Still, my breath caught in my chest like it didn't know where it wanted to go, and I lay on my side, propping my face in my hand.

"I'm sorry, Vi. Do you wanna talk about it?"

There was a heavy silence that plodded along like a tired heartbeat. I searched the hard ground for answers, but the Earth wasn't giving up anything today. Instead, I picked at the dirt with my fingernail as Violet sat on the other end, abruptly quiet.

I knew why she had talked about the prank first. It was the gold gilt that hid the rust.

"He just... I don't know. I mean, he was running away. Like, the Akuma weren't even after him. We were evacuating the streets, and suddenly the ground shook, and there was this building right next to us. A corner piece fell off, gigantic granite hunk of rock. Probably cuz Lavi beat an Akuma into the building. Fell right on top of him. He didn't even scream."

I chewed my bottom lip.

"He didn't even scream, Maggie. It happened that fast."

"I know, Vi. Sometimes that happens. This is a war, and people die."

"I just... I mean, it could've been any of us. Allen was standing not five feet away. Five feet separated Allen from being a piece of meat on the sidewalk. How? Just, how come some guy dies 'cause he's the unlucky john standing five feet too far to the left? I don't get it," Violet said, giggling a little towards the end, like it was a funny joke.

In a way, it was a funny joke - the world's a joke, and death is the punch line. All of us were the products of a comedian with too little imagination and too much liquor.

"You save who you can, Vi. You couldn't have done anything. Just be thankful you didn't end up a smear on the ground and keep your eyes open," I said, but even to me, it felt weak. The words bent like flimsy tin against the face of the reality.

The fact of the matter is, you stand five feet too far to the left, and you die. That's all that separates you from the Big Empty. The only consolation was that Allen had seen the souls of the Akuma leave, so there must be somewhere to go. God was kind in that respect.

* * *

"All on your lonesome?"

Sebastian looked up calmly from his rooftop spot. Lavi stood back near the doorway, and Bastian shrugged sheepishly. Unlike his more excitable twin, Sebastian tended to keep to himself.

He turned to look at the river in front of him, knees tucked to his chest.

"You just come back?" Sebastian asked.

Lavi shrugged as he walked over to the young Exorcist, and he took a seat next to him.

"Yeah, from Boston. Gotta tell you, the smell of brine doesn't wash out of clothes easy," Lavi said, seeming to vibrate even while sitting still.

The wind was chilly here. Sebastian enjoyed the crisp air, even though it made the hair on his arms and neck stand on end. He readjusted his eye patch absentmindedly, but the motion didn't escape Lavi's notice.

"How are you handling the..." Lavi motioned to the left half of his face.

Sebastian smiled a little, tousling his hair over the ruined half of his face. It was heavily scarred where they'd had to stitch the skin together. A lot of the bone was shaved off or gone, so it was a little sunken, but they'd reshaped the eye socket so that he looked more human. The patch had to be pretty big to cover it, and while he'd been rehabilitating, Maggie had joked that he and Lavi could be patch buddies.

"I keep forgetting that things are farther away than they appear. I look stupid grabbing for stuff. Eating sucks," Sebastian commented, stretching out. "How's Mag?"

Lavi went glassy-eyed, and Sebastian felt worry bubble in his stomach. The twin swallowed. He'd come to realize that when Lavi looked like that, bad news was either on its way or was already here. A plastic smile stretched on Lavi's face.

"She's fine. She fell, hit her head in the bathroom one night, but other than that, the usual. Broken ribs, broken pinkie, all that jazz," Lavi reported clinically.

"You call that fine? God, I hate to hear what 'bad' sounds like," Sebastian muttered darkly, bringing his knees up to his chest and staring back out over the water.

Lavi winced, realizing that he'd hit a sore spot. He was used to Maggie taking all the gallows' humor in stride. She herself was bad about telling terrible jokes.

"You okay?" the redhead asked.

Sebastian looked at Lavi, and his lips twitched.

"Just... miss my family. That's all," Sebastian said. "Rusty's on a trip with Lena to Greece. Vi's gone to Boston with Allen. Mag's with Kanda in Canada. And here I am. Puttering away."

He launched a pebble out towards the river, and it sailed into oblivion. Lavi tracked it with his good eye, and he pressed his lips together.

It was hard on this family to be apart. It was one of the downsides to family, really, being that close and then suddenly torn apart by duties to the Church. He honestly had no idea what they were going to do if, heaven forbid, any of them died. The Church didn't notify family members of the deaths of the Exorcists, but there was no hiding it from this bunch. It was hard on Sebastian especially. The kid and his brother were typically inseparable.

"You're not just puttering away. You need to get in shape! Keep your spirits up so you can get out there again!" Lavi shouted, giving him a friendly punch to the shoulder.

Sebastian winced as he rubbed the sore appendage, and Lavi mentally kicked himself. Those were not the right words, obviously.

"That's the problem. I'm afraid to go back out there."

Oh. Oh.

"I remember almost dying, man. I was that close. I stood on the edge, and I stared at it. I stared it down. I can't forget something like that. And I remember all I wanted..." Sebastian paused, rubbing a pebble between his fingers. "All I wanted was to curl up in Maggie's lap and have her hold me like when I was little. I wanted to do that one more time before I died."

Lavi stared at Sebastian, and his heart cracked a little at a time.

God, how was he going to tell them?

Well, he wasn't telling them today.

"The fear goes away."

"I hope it does. I don't think I can take it, going back out there again. Every time I think about picking up Innocence again and getting onto a battlefield, I just get this knotting feeling in my stomach. I can't do it. I lock up."

Lavi licked his lips and thought about his words carefully. Sebastian's life was on the line. If he didn't fight, he might become a Fallen. Innocence didn't treat traitors or cowards kindly.

"You've got to get out there again, though. You're an Exorcist. There are people who need you," Lavi stated.

It felt rehearsed, almost, but it was a truism. But how many times had he heard men say that to each other again and again, war after war? The people need you. The people need you. Go risk your life for somebody else's crusade.

Sebastian made no comment. Lavi steered the topic into less chaotic waters.

"So, you miss her. Mag."

"Like crazy. I don't think you understand it. You don't know her like we do," Sebastian muttered. He knew he was being sullen, but he needed to vent.

He'd been alone too long. There was no one to talk to here, now that everyone was gone. It was just him and the doctors and their clickity-click pens that he wanted to snap in half. There wasn't even anyone to joke with. It might be better if he could pull a nasty prank on somebody, but there wasn't anyone he was willing to alienate. He'd taken up writing as an outlet, something he wouldn't let anyone know about in a million years. Mostly, they were just memories he'd decided to write down.

Just in case.

"What do you mean, I don't know her? I practically stood on top of her for over two months," Lavi joked. "And you almost got me a lot closer to her with that lingerie stunt." He poked Sebastian in the shoulder playfully, and the kid finally cracked a real smile.

"Hey, lay your dirty paws off my older sister! She's like my mom, okay."

It was quiet for a while longer. The wind picked up a bit, whistling over the cornices.

"Sometimes, when we'd come home, she would have tried to make dinner for us, and we'd smile and eat it before feeding it to the dog, and then we'd all pile in bed, and we'd never see a hair of our actual mother. It wasn't that Mum was a bad mother. Just that she wasn't there sometimes. Maggie was. I remember she used to put us all in bed first, argue with Rose about something, and then she'd putter around the kitchen all night because she was so mad. And then she'd complain to Mom, but Mom couldn't do anything about it by then," Sebastian rattled on with a wistful smile. "And then when Mom left, Mag would be the one coming home late, but we'd still pile in with her anyways, no matter how late it got. Mag was home. Anywhere she was, was home."

Lavi stared at the kid with his messy, wavy brownish blondish hair. He shared Maggie's orange-brown eyes, but the family resemblance stopped there. He could see the same longing look his sister typically wore on his face, though.

And he understood. In the few months he'd stayed with Maggie, he knew what Sebastian was talking about. Though she wasn't a good cook, and even if she was obsessively neat and more than a little paranoid, she made you feel like you would be taken care of. It wasn't a romantically inclined feeling, either. She just immediately surrounded the people in her vicinity with the feeling that they were safe, even in the face of all evidence to the contrary. She brought out the domesticity in people.

Even Kanda. Lavi would've eaten his bandanna before betting on Kanda allowing a woman to dictate his table manners. Now, he was a (begrudging) gentleman at the dinner table.

"Do you miss the others?" Lavi asked.

"Yeah. I miss them a lot. It's so much quieter here without them, and I wish I could have all that noise back. I thought I hated it, but now I wanted nothing else. It's so quiet, I can hear piss hitting the urinal from three hallways down."

"Hey, you can always help me sort documents and read through old reports," Lavi offered.

"Um, I could hardly read with both eyes, much less one. Of course I guess it depends on the material. I'm reading through this pretty fast," Sebastian smirked, holding up a small, black book with a pink ribbon.

"What's that?" Lavi drawled with a slight, mischievous smile.

"Mmmm, Vi's diary."

"Anything good?"

"Let me tell you, she's really fascinated by someone you wouldn't have ever guessed..."

* * *

_Screaming... blood... more screaming... fire, orange light, fire… shaft of wood through his heart... white face... long hair... God, what do I do what, do I do? He's dying and there's blood all over my hands and those big black eyes, but I have to keep my promise! I have to keep -_

I woke up slowly, and I was sweating by the time I was fully aware of my surroundings. I sat up slowly and rubbed my arms, the chilly early morning air raising goose bumps across my skin. It took me several seconds to convince myself I was not, in fact, on a roiling battlefield full of bursting mortars trying to plug up Kanda's chest with my hands. I swallowed, regaining my bearings.

There was a tent. Here was my bag. There were my toes at the end of my blanket. My back hurt like someone had taken a mallet to it, and all my broken and not-as-broken bones squeaked in protest. Tears were pricking my eyes, but I reminded myself that, in such an event, it'd be more likely that I would be the shish kebab.

Still, it had felt real. I thought I'd seen the fear on his face as all of that blood started draining out of him.

I laid back down, deciding it wasn't worth worrying over. We had a long day tomorrow.

I stared at the ceiling of my tent for another ten minutes. Ten minutes stretched into thirty minutes. Thirty minutes yawned into an hour.

I wasn't going back to sleep. I had to check on him, just to be sure. My mind wouldn't let me rest until I did.

I quietly crept out of my tent. It was misty, giving the forest a creepy feel. I could hardly see Kanda's tent, just the mere outline of it. I shivered in the fall air, and I tugged my big, black cloak from my tent and threw it over my shoulders. The mist parted like water from a ship's prow, and I grumbled mentally to myself.

This was stupid. Honestly, why would I need to check on him? He was a full grown Exorcist, not to mention a man, and he could take care of himself. He knew how to put his boots on and tie them. He didn't need a nanny following him around, nagging him. So why was I out here at three in the morning, going to check on him like he was a five-year-old with a habit of nightmares?

I stood outside of his tent, and the mist tried to fill the spaces between my toes. I licked my lips, debating whether this was a good idea. After all, the last time I'd woken him up in the middle of the night, he'd almost decapitated me. Granted, he'd had a nightmare before that, but that didn't exclude the possibility of danger. I wanted to keep my ten fingers as long as possible.

I gently peeled back the flap of his tent, and I saw a dark swath of hair. He had his face shoved into his pillow, and he was holding on to it for dear life. He wasn't mumbling or anything, just lying there with his sword in hand. An unexplainable rush of relief went through me, knowing he wasn't impaled or missing limbs or mortally injured.

In the false light of predawn, I could see his face clearly, and I was struck for a moment by the fact that, right now, when he wasn't shouting at me or scowling, he could've been handsome. It made me wonder what kind of a person he would've been, if he hadn't been dragged into this war.

Suddenly, he woke up with a flurry of blankets, and I backed away from his tent, hands held over my head.

"What are you doing?" Kanda hissed, kicking his blankets off his legs.

"I-I-I was just, uh," I stuttered. How did I say this without sounding weird?

"Were you watching me sleep?"

"No! I was checking on you!" I stated.

He gave me a confused look, blinking and shaking his head with a slight curl of the lip.

"Why?"

I grimaced, awkwardly shrugging my shoulders. It was difficult to explain it in such a way that I'd seem like a rational human being. _Yeah, so I had a nightmare, and I was afraid that maybe you might be dead even though that's not remotely even possible because you're some kind of automaton and I thought maybe I should make sure you actually were still breathing._ Yes, that sounded plausible.

"Just... wanted to make sure you were okay," I said slowly, realizing that it actually was the truth.

Sure, he wasn't my favorite person, but I did care about his welfare. Otherwise, I probably wouldn't have dreamed of him dying.

In any case, it didn't look like the thought had ever crossed his mind that somebody else might want to know he was still okay.

"Whatever," he shook off, crawling out of his tent. He looked up at the sky, and he sniffed.

"It's daylight anyhow. We should get going," Kanda ordered, and I tried not to groan.

I failed.

"It's three in the morning," I whined. "I barely slept four hours."

"The Akuma don't care how long you nap, Sleeping Beauty."

Like I hadn't heard that for the past few days. The demons don't care you need to bathe. The demons don't care if you're ready or not. The demons aren't going to wait for you to lace up your boots and get ready to fight. The demons aren't going to play checkers while you do your warm-up. Next, he'll be telling me that the demons won't wait for me to finish having a nice tinkle in the woods.

Nevertheless, we saddled up for the day, and we started following the country road. Kanda was on point, both for direction's sake and because he was impatient to be on the move, and I followed behind.

Now, I know I don't have to tell you that Kanda is not exactly the paragon of conversational excellence. He has the communication skills of a teapot. I could have a more meaningful correspondence with a potted plant than with him.

But what I do know about Kanda, is that his language is almost completely nonverbal. I'd learned to read his body the way a sailor reads the water. I had no choice - if I wanted to make it through my training in one piece, I'd better get to know the lingo, and as a translator, I understood that body language was just as important as what came out of your mouth. In Kanda's case, it was more important. Everything he said was gesticulation.

He was taut as a bowstring. I wasn't sure if that was because he'd had a nightmare when I'd woken him up, or if he was recovering from his sudden bout of being loved on (I don't think he's ever been mothered before). What I did know was that he was a little off today, and I had better keep out of his way.

That wasn't hard. My horse did all the walking, and I was nodding off.

"Hey, you."

I sat up, trying to at least appear awake. I screwed my eyes shut, though, as I stretched out and yawned.

"Yeah?" I gaped, rubbing my face. Sheesh, how long was I asleep?

Kanda gave me a disdainful look that said "_were you just sleeping_?" And then, he shrugged it off with an annoyed readjustment of his jacket.

"Nothing," he said. His neck and back, however, shouted, Everything.

"You sure? What is it?" I asked, noticing how his eyes were crinkling at the edges as his gaze shifted around the forest.

I followed his gaze, but all I saw was open road and lots of trees. Now and again, there was farmland, the occasional cow, a picturesque pond with a few ducks, and lots and lots of fence posts. I hadn't been paying attention, though, because I'd been, well, snoozing. It was overcast, and I suddenly worried about the weather. I could feel it in my hair - it was going to storm sometime this week. The frizz didn't lie.

But I couldn't see what he saw. Something about this scene struck him as being wrong, which was pretty important. I could see it in how he was gripping the reins of his horse, both legs taut in the stirrups despite the easy walk we were going at.

"I... thought I saw something. It's nothing," he said.

But those hands screamed, Something's going on.

And then, my gut clenched on itself, either in response to his nervousness, or because something was about to happen. I suddenly wished that my gut sense could be just a little more specific.

I ran my tongue over my teeth, my right hand twisting the metal bracelet on my left wrist. Though I wouldn't trust him to catch me if I feel off a roof, I did trust his battle judgement. If there was anyone who could smell trouble, it was him.

Unfortunately, he tended to go towards it, rather than away from it.

But for now, things were quiet. I hoped that it would stay that way.

* * *

**A/N:** Another day, another chapter. I'm back! This is a little bit of a filler chapter, but I thought you'd want to know some things from another person's perspective. I thought I'd try something different. Frequently, I find that people tend to forget that there's a war going on in DGM, albeit a fantastical war, and some of the more human aspects of it get left out. So here's a little bit from the point of view of someone unfamiliar with warfare.

Lots and lots and lots of love to my beta, karina001, who also faithfully reviewed! I love it that you leave me reviews, even though you've already done so much for the story. They really help me keep going.

Same goes to my Guest who left a review! I'm so happy to see that you enjoyed the story enough to tell me! That's all I really ever need to know, is that someone likes the story enough to continue it and want to see more of it. Don't worry too much about the content, just say what's on your mind.

But, in case there's not a whole lot on the noggin, here are some jump-start topics: _Do you think the tone of the story has become more serious? More comical? Do you think the war is being portrayed realistically, both in terms of fighting and emotional burden? Are canon characters in character, or have they derailed a little bit? Do you enjoy the canon characters? Would you like to see any more of Maggie's family or their point of view? Is the pacing of the story good, or is it going too slow? What relationships in this story so far are your favorite (parental, platonic, or otherwise)?_

Anywho, that's all for now. God bless you, and keep reading!


End file.
